Friday, November 27, 2009 - Where is My Calgon?

It has truly just been "one" of those weeks!! I can only hope that it has been just one!!

Nothing spectacular has happened here in the last day!! I did get a really good start on my new "Santa Swirly Cone".
It is really cute Christmas ornament that is the head of Santa coming out of an ice cream cone, lots and lots of beads!!
I just thought that I had a need for some serious cheering up and this should be able to do it.

However, I can only bring to mind those Calgon "Take Me Away" commercials that ran on television!!
We have had one of the worst week's we have had in some time and I so looked forward to it's end today. Max and I got up this morning and he suggested it be simply a "lazy" day for us all and he got no objections from me!! However, shortly after I began stitching, about 9:00 a.m. the telephone rang. It was the VA Satellite Clinic informing me that Max's liver had taken a serious turn for the worse!! I just about fell over as I can handle no more this week!!
The nurse was advising me to get Max's doctors called immediately and tell them that all his liver enzymes, BUN, Creatine, Potassium and Lipids were off the chart in raising!!

CALGON take me away!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

THANKSGIVING DAY - November 26, 2009

We had a lovely Turkey Day!!

Some how, some way, Max and I were invited to have Turkey Day with the pastor of our church. The priest asked us a few weeks ago, if we had plans, and if not, would we come to their private home. I have been quite apprehensive about this for about ten days, so much to worry about, my teeth behaving, Max either misbehaving or behaving, etc., etc., etc. However, every thing went off fine and we had a wonderful day.

Mi is still pretty lisless, but she does not seem to be having any more episodes!! Mi has got hundreds of people praying for her and you will never get me to go against the power of our Lord. I am truly trying to prepare my self for what is to come, but you never know, as this would not be the first miracle I have been granted. The priest, extended family and church family have all put her at top of their Prayer Lists.

I did get two finishes, by the very tip of my all, to take to the priest's home. I just had decided to do TWO BISCORNUS about ten days ago to take as hostess gifts in Thanksgiving pattern. Max went to my LNS to pick up some threads I needed and a piece of fabric for these when Kathy K. called me. And, she ever so tactfully, told me, Forget It!! I thought what is she thinking, as I have had some successes with my stitching speed as of late and I was primed and geared to do these two Biscornus. Thank God, for Kathy K. She even had a website for me to go to pick up a "freebie"
Thanksgiving chart for a FOB. Talk about planning ahead. I just barely finished my second stitched piece as we were leaving to go to Turkey Day dinner!! I still would be struggling through my first Biscornu wondering now what would I do!!

Max had dialysis and was actually too tired to do any thing, but sit very quietly while with priest and family. I guess that was some what of another miracle in it self!! The church is having it's first annual soup supper next Sunday. There were "sign-up" sheets placed out in church hall and every one was asked to pick some thing they could do to contribute to it. Max signed us up for serving the soup!! Good Lord, can you see him pushing my wheelchair with me holding a tray of bowls filled with soup!! Another of his "what was he NOT thinking days"!!

I am looking forward to a slightly more slowed down week this coming weekend and the following week. We have only one appointment on one of the week days thus far. Last week, we were tripled up on appointments almost every single day!! Slowed down will be ever so nice!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah and Max
and
Miprezious, too!!

THANKSGIVING DAY EVE - November 25, 2009

Well, it appears that my Blog is slowly just being totally forgotten!! I have to really try to keep it up from here just for my own memory as I can not remember, even important, things unless I write them down. However, if you are looking for a smile or good word this will be the last place you will want to read!!

I was literally "stoped in my tracks" with Kathy B.'s passing on October 7, 2009. To visit Kathy you would never have thought any thing was wrong and wondered why she was in that awful hospital bed. However, Kathy's telephone calls were beginning to scare me slightly. She was not the happy go lucky and cheerful lady I knew her to be. Her last calls were full of pain, although she tried terribly hard to keep this from me. I still am wondering what and how of the time of her passing. At bedtime, I suddenly remembered, stop as there had been no phone call or email from Kathy B.!! But, I was overly tired and was glad to have been put to bed that night. And, I fell into a deep sleep, however, I was awaken for some reason. I could not go back to sleep nor could I get Kathy B. from my mind. Thus, I finally got up and ever so wanted to pace!! However, my wheelchair would soon have left tracks in my carpeting. I then opted for my stitching nest and tried to get all cozy and settled. However, I became more agitated as the clock ticked by!! I suddenly decided about 1:00 a.m. that I was going to get a list of area hospitals and just call them to check with answering Operators if Kathy B. was with them. I soon found a hospital that was hospitalizing Kathy B.
The Operator asked if I did not wish to talk to the Kathy B.'s Unit Charge Nurse. I thought well I could just to see if I might find out any thing and to ask if, and when, I could visit as soon as possible for me. The telephone was answered by Intensive Care Unit and I got the first big blow to my stomach. I then asked if Kathy was a patient and the nurse answered she was. I then asked if I would be allowed to visit Kathy first thing in later morning. The nurse asked me to hold on the phone a moment and I said sure and waited. She soon returned and then asked if I was Deborah and I told her I sure was. She then told me Kathy's caregiver had given her permission for her to tell me any thing I wanted to know. The Nurse continued in telling me she was sorry, however, she had, unfortunately, just disconnected Kathy's life support just before answering the phone!! I got a second slam to my stomach which simply did take my breath away. I wanted to yell wait a minute as Kathy and I had just spoken in the recent hours so how could this be and was she sure we were speaking about the same person. I finally was able to ask if we left as soon as we possibly could would I be allowed to see Kathy B. The Nurse then went on to say she understood I was confined to a wheelchair my self and that she did not think it would be a good idea for me to travel on such short notice in such a wee hour. I was up and I truly wanted to see Kathy one more time. However, the Nurse continued to tell me that it was her experiences in the ICU that she would estimate that Kathy B. would pass within the hour, so it would not be the best for me to start out. It would be a sixty mile commute. I simply could not believe this at all!! I tried to remind my self that dear Kathy had suffered ever so much, but yet ever so silently the past eighteen months and that she would finally be at peace and suffer no more, but it did not seem to matter at this time and took most of the day for me to come to realize this fact.
Kathy's Caregiver called me and told me Kathy did pass at 2:45 a.m. I do not know why Kathy's passing had effected me so deeply, but it did. I have lost many before her, but this passing I could not find peace with and I was also still very much not at ease as to why I woke when I did. Kathy's memorial service was scheduled for the next morning.
It was very nasty weather and Max was not doing well at all, however, I was adamant that I was going to at least attend Kathy B.'s Memorial. Eunice told me she would get me to where ever I wanted to be when ever I choose so we decided we would go to Kathy's Memorial. Before we had me ready to leave, Max appeared dressed in his dress clothes and insisted on going with us. Thus, we did go and say our good-byes to Kathy B.

The last few weeks have not been the best in this household. Max continues to worsen each day and is to the point of I simply can not come to understand how he can keep going. He truly is trying the very best he can, however, it takes my entire self to watch over him and be sure he is not doing some thing he should not be. The Dialysis staff believes Max is in need of a Home, but at this point I will not hear of such a thing. As long as I see some effort on his part, I am going to continue to try and help him. I get very down and blue with watching him day by day as I know if I were the one so sick he would have insisted I stay down in bed and he would wait on my every need. He still tries to take care of me!! There are more problems than I even can begin to realize, however, we will continue to take them step by step and one day at a time.

I simply thought things were not going well, but I truly did not have a clue. Last Friday, Miprezious was not doing well and some thing was very definitely wrong. I had to be at my doctor's for a scheduled appointment each month that simply can not be missed. Thus, Max stayed with Miprezious at home and Eunice took me in for my doctor's appointment. Upon returning home, Mi was truly in need of some thing. I finally called her Vet and asked that she could be seen before the weekend started. We were able to take Mi into Vet early Friday evening. Mi has never been away from me or placed in a cage at any time in her life and I was already starting to preach to Eunice and Max that this would not change this evening either. The Vet swooped her away from me and attempted to get blood and urine for lab tests. I could not vision how any one could get urine from a small black poodle. I was totally apprehensive and a whole lot "miffed" at this Vet for not answering my questions prior to swooping Mi away from me. When he reappeared he began answering my questions and I became totally "irate" with him as they had taken a "needle and passed it in to Mi's bladder" he finally told me. But, he did not get the urine he needed which I could have told him as I wait for her to empty her baldder, before taking her in the van. Well, he simply was not sure what was wrong with Mi. He said he suspected a "urinary tract infection or probable diabetes"!! I simply wanted to swoop Mi back out in to the safety of my van, but I could not move a muscle in my body, much less get out of there!! The Vet started Mi on an antibiotic series with an injection. He also told me it was of utter importance that I get "some one to help me with getting a cup and catching Mi's urine". I thought he had to be kidding, but he was dead serious!! So, I picked my baby up and held on to her very tight as Max helped get me out of there. Mi slept with out interruption the remainder of Friday night and all day and night on Saturday. I became increasingly concerned with her. She seemed a bit better on Sunday, however, the Vet continued to check with me daily on how Mi was doing. Yesterday, Tuesday, Mi went into some sort of "episode" that scared me to death, so once again we bundled Mi up and were off to the Vet. It is about a fifteen mile commute to this Vet's office and Mi was totally shaking and upset that she was in the car on the highway again. I could do nothing to ease her apprehensions!! She had just laid down and her eyes literally rolled to the back of her head about two hours before this. I had my caregiver working right beside me with Mi beside us so she immediately went to Mi and asked if she should pick her up and put her in to my lap and I told her absolutely. So, Mi laid quite limp in my lap for about ten to twelve minutes and then seemed to go quite rigid. I was absolutely terrified, but she seemed okay upon looking more closely at her. The Vet is saying he thinks Mi had an extreme drop in her blood pressure that had caused this episode and it was the first of many. Max and I had placed Mi's "Pee Wee" pads she is accustomed to using with their right sides down so it resulted in an area of plastic for Mi to use to urinate on. We did finally get a small puddle and Max was able to get it put in a dropper and placed in a sterile bottle. The Vet was extremely happy that we were able to get some urine for testing. He started the lab tests immediately and continued to check Mi. The lab tests finalized and the Vet came back and assured me that Mi did not have diabetes, Addison Disease, etc. that he had been suspecting. I thought good news, but the big blow came shortly!! Mi is not retaining any protein in her blood and this has resulted in Mi beginning to go in to kidney failure!! All I could think was Mi was now going to begin dialysis also and be just like Max. The Vet told me there was caine dialysis, however, it was very costly. I just replied, "oh well, there goes our ranch"!! The Vet told me that the dialysis was not available any where in this area. So, we are to try and change Mi's diet to strictly poultry and vegetables to help her if any help is available for our little furbaby. The Vet told me this was not the news we wanted to hear and that it was not good news!! He then told me we should just take Mi home and watch her carefully and try to make her as comfortable as we can.

I am so way beyond heart sick with this. Many people may look at this as she is just a small poodle, but she has always been Max and my "princess". She even had her little pink hoodie with the name "princess" monogrammed on it. So, the fight is on to save our dear Miprezious!!

Please pray very hard!!

And, all have a Happy Thanksgiving as this is what all should do!!

Love and Hugs,
Deborah and Max
and,
Miprezious, too!!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 04, 2009 - UPDATE

It has been way too long since I posted any thing and there are now rumblings of "where is Deborah" among my Groups!! Thus, I am posting to let every one know that I am okay!! I have never been so all out excruciating tired in all of my life!! Yesterday, was finally crash day!! I got up at 5:00 a.m. to see that Max got off to dialysis on time and well. Then I thought well good I have at least four hours of totally uninterupted stitching!! I so had looked forward to these four hours!! But, no I zonked out and went into deep sleep!! Max came back at 10:00 a.m. and I got up to make sure he was okay and to fix us a quick breakfast. I got this accomplished and went back to get a very troublesome knot out of my #12 Perle thread I am using on my newest project THE SWEETHEART TREE "Stitcher's Favorite" Biscornu. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep again and thank the good Lord so was Max!! He awoke me needing a multitude of nothing, but serious things to him!! However, to my shock and disbelief it was 6:00 p.m. and Miprezious immediately also started demanding "Mommy" time and was quite in a "snit" her supper had also not been served. I had pork with sage and onion dressing in mind, but it was not some thing to have been started at 6:00 p.m. at night, short of wanting to eat at towards bedtime hour. Thus, I had to do an about face, and decide what I could cook in an amazing short time!! I decided on Birdseye Alfredo Chicken Voila in which I add a package of frozen Reames Home-Style Noodles. Thus, I had dinner made and ready to be served within a very short period of time and we all did sit down and ate supper. I told Max he could at least try to help me do some of the cleanup and dishes and he readily helped. However, we both went back to our separate spots and both fell to sleep again till about midnight when Mi woke us both up protesting she had not had her ice cream bedtime snack as of yet. We got ice cream for every one and quickly ate it and went straight back to bed. I literally had slept from Friday evening about 5:00 p.m. until about 8:00 a.m. Sunday!! But, I truly had an extremely hard week with Max!! But, yet my sleeping did not stop with getting up on Sunday!! I got up about 8:00 a.m. today, Sunday, to enable me to get to church on time. We barely slid into church on time and we have been assigned the very front pew as it will accomodate my wheel chair. I was in the service, but no way could I follow along and keep up with the right place through out the service!! Upon getting home, I fixed some sausage and eggs. and we all ate and it was back to bed for every one again. We set two alarms as we were scheduled to return to church for the annual "Blessing of the Animals" Service at 3:00 p.m. Both alarms rang and we both heard them and one thought the other had gotten up to get the other person up in time, while in reality neither of us had gotten up. About 2:50 p.m., Max came running in my bedroom and told me we were going to be late for the Blessing Service. I got up and literally jumped right back into my church clothes, go Mi ready and we were off to church again. I have vowed to stay awak until at least bed time this evening as NO ONE needs to sleep as much as I have done all weekend!!

But, this sleep was such a welcome blessing!! Max has taken to wandering again and when he is up, unfortunately, I must also be up. Poor Max has had an absolutely horrific week once again this past week. He grows weaker each day and can do less each new day!! Max simply is not doing well in any shape or form!! He continues to deteriorate each day!! I have vowed to keep him at home just as long as I posibly can!! He is confused most of the time and is not able to follow even my simplest instructions!! He has fallen twice this past week and both were quite serious falls. I believe it was Thursday he fell flat on his face in the middle of my Stitching Sanctuary and there was no getting him up as far as I was able to do!! I punched the push button for Eunice and Marion when I discovered there was no getting him off the floor and Marion responded immediately. Max has lost such drastic weight that Marion was easily able to wrap his arms around Max and pull him straight up to being on his own feet again.

I do not have the slightest idea of what I am going to do at this time. I have been able to get a gal part-time and her name is Lisa. She is really very good and will do any thing that I ask of her!! I also secured a way of ordering all my groceries needed and have them delivered. This is a very great help. I found a laundromat that will take our wash in first thing in the morning and have it ready by late afternoon at the latest of the same day. This helps immensely!! Lisa is more than willing to drop it off and pick it up!! I have had to resort to taking the Municipal Transit System my self about a year ago and am quite sure both Max and I can resort to it again if the need arises. Max is still driving, but only when he has me in the car with him so I can be that second pair of eyes looking and watching the other traffic. However, we both know it is only going to be a very short time before he can not drive him self any more.

Max just continues to deteriorate is about all I can say to describe his condition presently!! I fear should his name come to the tope of the National Donor Transplant List tomorrow it will be too late as he can not handle that type of surgery in the physical shape he is in today any longer!! It is simply a very sad and tragic thing to see happening!! I do not think Max has given it much thought or at least he has not indicated such to me!! It is all so just unfair!!

I am trying to stitch to keep my mind at ease and sane through out all these weeks!! I do have a whole bunch of finishes and can not wait to get time to photograph all of them and additionally my Stitching Sanctuary real soon!!

Well, I just wanted to check in with every one and let you all know that I am okay!! Unfortunately, I get very little time on the computer any more. So, please if you need to get in touch with me, please write "IMPORTANT" in capital letters in the subject line on your email and I will try to skim my emails every day or so!! I miss keeping in touch with you all and also just reading and keeping up with the Groups. I am hoping this is just a temporary thing and will not last too much longer. I just feel trying to take care of Max is far more important than any thing else I can do right now!!

I hope all of you are welll and thigs are going okay!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

SEPTEMBER 21, 2009 - I AM STILL HERE and AM BORING!!

Greetings!!

We are all still here!! Do not ask me any thing else as "I do not know"!!
My computer decided to quit working, with the help of Max, about three weeks ago. I just got it back from the Computer Tech on Saturday. I thought I would truly miss it, but I found I did not. Guess this addiction has run it's course, very thankfully!! I always feel guiltly I am going to miss some one needing some thing so simple as just an added ear to listen or eye to read. However, I got so much stitched during this "down" time!! I think I had six finishes!! That is more than I had many of the previous entire year's times!! I want to get these things pictured and also the very lovely gift Trecie sent Miprezious, however, the camera and I are not coordinating presently, but hopefully one day very soon.

Finally, found an optometric shop in this one-horse town this evening. Eunice drove me down to eye specialist in Davenport (50 miles south of us) last Thursday. Both my regular and stitching glasses had drastic changes along with info I have fast growing cataracts. The eye doctor wants to remove them as soon as possible, but it will just be another "iron in the fire" around here presently. I found out this morning we have two optometric shops in this entire town!! Went to one this morning as other was closed till mid-afternoon today. In 2004 I had to go to this eye doctor for some thing strange at the time going on and I can not remember all the details, however, my mother informed me that this Optometric Center had really messed up the problem and made it far worse. Everyone told me not to pay the balance I had owing to this "quack" of $140. And, for the first time in my life, I did not pay this guy!! We went into his Optometric Center this morning in spite of the problem FIVE years ago for lack of better choice.
The gal did not even want to get up and exert her self!! When Max began demanding service she finally got up. She took my prescriptiions and insurance card and went into a side room. She came back wanting to know if I wanted to pay the $140 I had not paid. I just glared at her and asked if I looked that stupid!! So, this afternoon, right before supper we went to the other Clinic and got excellent service and two pair of glasses ordered.

Max is not well at all. I am guilty of not being able to handle all that is being thrown at me right now!! I hate to admit such a thing and Eunice tried to tell me I should not feel this way this afternoon, but I do. He is confused and can not follow even the simplest of instructions at this time. I got really disgusted with every one last week and I called a different Clinic and got a new "endo" doc!! He told of actually working seven years at the VA Hospital Max is going to for his transplants. This doctor said he very much doubted if a "real doctor" had seen any of Max's tests and reports as of then. He also said he would not accept any of their results and/or films, etc. So, poor Max has to have both upper and lower scopes and a whole morning of CT Scans.
It was scheduled to begin tomorrow, however, par to the course, this wonderful Dialysis Center refuses to cooperate with this particular doctor in any way, shape or form!! Thus, every thing has been moved to Thursday as of last phone call. I am very confused about what I should do if this new doctor does not do some thing soon. We have always said we would take care of each other until bitter end, unless it just became too much. It is too much!! Every one, including Eunice and her hubby, are advising me to place Max in a Nursing Home. I simply will not give up this easily!! Thus, needless to say, things are getting quite "intense" around this household!!

I did hire a new gal, Lisa, today to take over keeping the home clean and some what organized I hope. She is a young mother of a five year old little girl who is a real cutie. She was born at 26 weeks and only weighed slightly over a pound. She was in the Intensive Care Unit at University Hospital for four months!! Lisa is a very friendly gal who came highly recommended from a dear friend of mine. He worked with her at our Quad-City Airport prior to her giving birth to little "Faith". She was here today and did not run so I "think" she will stick it out here. Things have just kind of simply not got done here and I will gladly keep her very busy for at least these first few weeks. Hopefully can then taper her to need for keeping the home clean, groceries, appointments, etc. Finding Lisa has been a big relief for me right now.

I am off to actually stitch a bit before going to bed. Max is also "wandering" in the night and this means I have to "wander" also so I am grabbing a nap when ever I can. Poor Max will be 65 this Friday and instead of a big birthday breakfast he has two bottles of some very "yucky" stuff to drink. There has been so much new "yucky" stuff coming in this house that Eunice took it all home and only left was needed on day one when ever that begins!!

Hopefully, I can get back into some interesting things to write and get lots and lots of pictures that I have intended to show. My new gardens almost got finished this year. I have totally finished my "Stitching Sanctuary". I have at least the six new finishes!! And, I can not remember what all else is sitting here!! Guess, I will be for finding out here soon!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

SUNDAY, August 16, 2009 - VAN LIFT "1" and DEBORAH "0"

Well, not looking too bad all things considered at least yet!!

I swear to God, freaky accident and my name go hand in hand!! If it can happen it will happen to me!!

I am trying to figure out a quick and condensed version of this as the pain is excruciating just after a few hour's nap!!

This afternoon Max announced his daily trip to the Supermarket and Miprezious had just enough of these and demanded to ride along!! Mi can not go in the van unless I ride along to make sure she is secured at all times and with today's sauna hitting 85 degrees after early morning storm I had to also be assured she would be kept cool enough. Mi is jet black and just seems to soak up all heat!!

So, I have to go find my finest pair of flip flops and snap all the snaps on my finest house frock and run a comb through my hair. And, off the three of us go to the Supermarket!!

Well, we arrive and immediately it was the usual fight with Max to circle till he found a parking spot up front so Mi and I had some thing to do. I do not mind an occasional trip out just to "people watch"!! Arrgg!! Bark!! Bark!! And, those noises were not from Mi, but rather Max that he had to "jockey" for a good parking spot up front!! He finally lands the big Chevy Van and off he goes.

And, Mi starts in her usual watching and occasional comments on the people going to and from!! We see people go in after Max and come out before Max!!

It was beginning to get a bit warmish so I hit the automatic side door of the van next to Mi and I. A short time later, I noticed a very elderly woman intently watching Mi's escapades and my trying to keep her in her seat!! I was thinking I would love to have taken Mi over to this lady's window and allowed her to pet her as you could just tell she really wanted to do so. I had decided "should" Max return before this lady's driver that I would make him take Mi over to see this old woman!!

As I was watching and balancing Mi I thought I felt the seat move under me and thought "Good Grief Woman get a grip"!! Suddenly, I knew I was moving, but had no idea of what was going on!! Max had just had our van into the Service Center about ten days ago as the Lift Control had been broken the night of the Fourth of July fireworks and had to be repaired!! I mean all the wires got jerked out of the hand control and it got physically dragged about 25 miles. We had a ten year old grandson of Eunice's with us and he kept saying, "Mr. Max some thing is dragging on this van" repeatedly!! Well, what did this small boy know was Max's response to me!! Well, that small boy knew far more than Max as the hand control had gotten stuck in the automatic door for the umpteenth time since we have had it and gotten torn apart!! Dah, Max might you just even had a wee idea the boy knew what he was referring to!! So, the van and the lift and it's hand controls went into the Service Center to a standing open Service Order to Rewire and Recheck entire lift system of this van!!

Thus, today that darn thing just took off. I had not even touched the hand control and, in fact, it was laying across my thigh!! However, I was mysteriously moving rather quickly straight into the cement payment below me!! But, in this descent, my right foot got wedged under the lift seat and my left foot got wedged under the front seat!! My legs were literally doing the splits with both ankles turned the wrong way with excruciating pain shooting through my entire body!! I simply clung to Miprezious with every attempt to keep her safe and unharmed!! Well, this old lady who was watching us, began to scream for help!! Soon, two men were trying to stop that damn lift and all the while try to hold me up so my weight was not making my legs worse and in an effort to keep me level with the seat!! A lady ran over and talked Mi into letting her take her and proceeded to stand under a shade tree and try to calm her!!

These men frantically tried to free my legs one at a time. They were getting no where quickly. Finally, they just twisted my left knee all the way around in an all out effort to free my left foot!! By now, this house frock was beginning to unsnap many of it's snaps, but frankly at this point I did not give a care!! With two more additional men they were able to lift my body enough to have my foot some what free and were able to set it free and eventually the other.

I was literally seconds from that lift crashing into the cement ground!! I do not even want to think what would have happened if it had!! I already was literally hanging by my ankles from the van floor out the side of the van with both legs completely caught and unmovable.

I got several scrapes, cuts, abrasions, a few pavement burns, sprain to one ankle and one knee and I do not want to think of the bruises that will be showing by tomorrow morning!! Max's pictures did not show the injuries well at all. He will have to give it another try tomorrow morning.

I know, from too many past injuries, that it is always worse the second day!! I do not know how that could be possible!! I do not ever remember pain like I am having this evening only after a short few hours of napping!!

I swear to God WHO could get caught in their own lift device, but me!! I felt like a complete idiot until after these wonderful men got me freed and then attempted to put the lift back into the van and found there was no controlling the darn thing. The slightest movement in the cable at all set it off for a new and different surprise each time they tried.

Needless to say, Max will be waiting on that Service Center's door step first thing tomorrow morning. The owner is a friend of mine and he does not "appreciate" any "come backs" of any kind and prides himself on this fact!!

This man will literally blow the roof off that Service Center and only God will be able to help the technician who worked on this lift last week!!

Meanwhile, I truly think this is going to truly put me out for a few days or more.

My additional morphine available to me is not even touching all the pains from this little "incident"!! My dear lift chair in my Stitching Sanctuary looks better every time I have to go out to me as I know I am safe, cool and do not believe I could be hurt in it. It is going to take some where quite special for me to even want to get in that death trap of a van again any time soon.

You know, this summer has not been kind to me in the least little bit this year!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

H O P E ! !

HOPE is a small little word with a powerful punch!!

Don't ever ask me what I had for breakfast any given morning, as there is probable little hope I will be able to remember. However, ask me any time about 5:00 p.m., August 15, 2005 and I can not forget that very moment. This is when I had for the very first time heard, "So sorry Deborah, nothing more can be done"!! I had just transferred into my home, after sitting in a Court Room almost all day watching the prosecution of my sister and her decision to break into our home and rob us, while I had laid with full life support keeping me alive 120 miles away in that past year!! While experiencing many emotions and feelings never previously ever considered, much less ever considered I would have to deal with, I was handed off, by one of my attorneys, my ringing telephone. I then heard, "so very sorry, Deborah, there is nothing else that can be done" for the first of many times to come!! Unfortunately, at that moment I was being told Max was gravely ill and our general practitioner had come to the conclusion nothing else could be done!! We were ultimately given about six months more life expectancy, unless a donor transplant could be found!! And, thus my fight for Max's life began!!

I can not remember each battle, and truly do not want to. This has been the longest four years of my life. It has been one long series of wins and loses!! I am sure I could put them all together, but it would take days and it matters to me little at this time. That is, unless I could turn them into the "Television Movie of the Week" and make my first million on another very badly chosen script!!

I think every one knows I have pretty much been on complete bed rest for the better part of the recent months. I recoup a little bit, just to be hit with some thing else to take me two more steps in reverse!! Last few days have not been good!! But, nevertheless, good ole Uncle Sam sent additional greetings demanding my presence at yet another pre-transplantation "conference"!! Realistically, Uncle Sam, a.k.a. Veterans Administration, is looking for a "nice" way to say, "so sorry, Mr. Markham, but we can not transplant a liver and kidney in you because........."!!
Well, to put it as politely and nicely as I can, "Over My Dead Body"!! Max and I have had more than our share of "ups" and "downs" with our relationship. However, had it not been for Max my butt would still be rotting away in that "hellhole" of a Nursing Home I had been placed in!! Also, apart we both just have long and hard struggles, but together we can not be broken by any thing or any one!!

Thus, we had to be on the road again this morning, headed west the 90 mile trip, to the Veterans Administration Hospital!! I was in excruciating pain and overly tired before we got started and every mile just became worse!! I was primed and readied by the time we arrived in Iowa City!!

We were just there about two months ago, when I spent a grueling day going through what a team of six psychiatrists thought would be role-playing which I put an immediate halt to!! This day then went to one scenario after another of a game "well, if this happens, what will you do, and if that happens, etc., etc., and etc.!! After six hours of this, the plan was to put me through a three-hour series of memory and agility testing!! Good Grief!! What part did not these "overly educated a$$es" not understand that I am on more morphine daily then most people ever encounter in an entire lifetime and I am in a wheelchair?!! About noon this day, I finally raised my voice to just an octave below screaming at them "enough"!! I would meet any thing presented to me and either handle the situation by my self or place people back on payroll to handle it for me, BUT every thing and any thing WOULD be taken care of!! I further told them I would rather be headed back east home than spend another three hours repeating myself!! Suddenly, we got a previously unscheduled recess. Max and I left the hospital and found a wonderful little deli and had a delightful and leisurely lunch.
Upon returning to the hospital this six panel "whatever" had disbanded and word was left they were done with me!! Max had to go on with about two more hours of testing!!

During this time, I had suddenly been scheduled with a pair of Social Workers (we all know how I "love" Social Workers - NOT!!) while waiting for Max. I was informed of several things at this time, but the only thing that remained in my memory was my having to stay in a hotel for about six weeks alone and then an additional three weeks in the hotel with Max "if" a transplant was going to take place!! There was much other information given to me, at this time, but every thing was lost as I knew six weeks alone in a hotel having to commute back and forth each day was all that I could absorb. It was one of the first times I felt "not a chance and no hope"!! Hopelessness is not some thing I will ever accept "gracefully" and I come back "swinging"!! I had come to the decision of simply "Whatever"!! "What ever" could they do to me to MAKE me stay nine weeks in a hotel!! I do not handcuff to a bed rail easily!! So, "what ever"!!

I had a rather "uncomfortable" few days!! I then was once again able to get ahold of my self!! I personally, very much, do not believe in fear. Fear only gets a life, "if" we give it one!! And, I have learned so very much from knowing Eunice. One of the big things, I had to work on was worry. Fortunately, Eunice has been working on this problem with me for several months and I have learned from experience not to let worry come into my life, until it truly comes in and not a moment before!! These things coupled with my deep belief in prayer carried me through!!

However, a few weeks ago, we had gotten another "letter" to be at the Veterans Administration Hospital!! A friend took Max and I stayed at home. I was happy as a clam, having nothing to do or any one around me at all!! Max returned home much sooner than I ever expected rather upset!! The staff at the Veterans Hospital refused to go any further with this Transplant Process with out my presence!!
Personally, with my attitude coupled with my pain levels, I would have advised them to "rejoice and be glad" I had not went along!! Nope!! Every thing had to be re-scheduled for today!! Okie Dokey!!

Thus, this morning at 6:00 a.m. we were up and making our way back to Iowa City!! I am speechless to describe my attitude and demeanor of today!! It was plainly the worst ever through this entire "Process"!! Max had the usual tests and moderating. I had a bad incident prior to leaving my home this morning - I could not put my hands on any Aida cross stitch projects!! I had simply forgotten I needed my "Mighty Magnifier" lamp to use any thing other than Aida!! First appeared nothing to "tame the beast"!! Then, I sudden saw a glimpse of a 3-D Christmas Card I have started on perforated paper!! Such relief!! Without realizing it, I have pushed all my Aida WIPS to the very back and deepest bottom of my WIP area, as I have absolutely fallen in love with linen and evenweave. Big problem for another day!!
We got on with our drive, and I started thinking about all the members who post about stitching while traveling. I never used to be able to read, do puzzles, write, about any thing while riding in any thing with out consequences of car sickness.
This was some thing I really did not need, but this was the kind of morning to push all limits!! Thus, I pulled out my perforated paper and supplies and began stitching on my "Snow Globe". I do not know what peaked my interest, but suddenly I realized some thing simply did not look right!! Thus, I just stared at my piece of perforated paper contemplating how to make the "cut-outs" for the 3-D Card. Good Grief!! I had started the "Snow Globe" design the wrong way on the paper!! I suddenly calculated needing 22 squares more above my stitching, while I only had 15!! Well, as my father always used to say, "you can not make applesauce, out of horse shXX"!! Sorry, just that kind of day!! Thus, some one will be getting a "one and only" snow globe stitched insert in their Christmas card this year!! There was nothing or no one who could possibly ruin this day any further, so I amazingly took it in my stride and just kept on stitching!!

Max finished up his business by about 10:00 a.m. and the "Social Worker" who had requested to have my "presence" had made an appointment with us for 1:00 p.m.
Thus, Max and I got back in our van and found a Perkins Restaurant for a fantastic "brunch"!! We just took our time!! I casually mentioned trying to find a LNS, but this idea went over like a lead balloon!! I do not know if Max had a LNS on his agenda or not, would bet "not", but as he was trying to maneuver my wheelchair from under the table he just barely scraped my leg. I initially did not even give it a thought!! A lady sitting at the next table stopped me and asked if I knew I had been injured while being pulled out from the table. I could not figure out what she was talking about, but decided to look down at it and only saw massive blood!! It takes little, or nothing, to get me to bleed on "bloated" days like this and bleed I did do!! Unfortunately, we had to spend a considerable amount of time on clean and patch up duty before any thing else!! Thus, we went back to the hospital and we sat out in the sun for a short time. It was only high of 64 degrees and wetness after a rain day, so the sun felt so good!! Finally, it was our scheduled time!!

We arrived at the Social Worker's, Carol, office right on time. She asked that we just go into some empty exam room to wait for her to finish her lunch!! Yeah, sure, take your sweet time lady was my only thought!! I had not actually seen this woman yet, but only had heard Max's rants and raves about her the past two weeks!! There was a large portrait of all the Transplant Staff on the wall. I told Max we could start the games early by letting me try to pick out our new "special buddy" from Max's clues on the portrait. First guess, I got her!! Well, that was not too entertaining for very long!! Well, another stitching break. I managed to get all the many "snow" confetti stitches finished!!

Carol finally arrived in our new "conference" a.k.a. exam room about 1:15 p.m. She then proceeded to sit on one hand to the other in an attempt to write and also keep warm as the room was so cold!! Finally, she simply had to go find a sweater as she was just too cold!! I was going to offer mine draped over the back of my wheelchair, but you never know about Max and my quick departures where there becomes a need!! Finally, we got yet another interview, that I alone have already been quizzed over at least a dozen times!! Thus, I just decided to ask whether that computer "thing" she was working on was incapable of reading the notes the last twelve interviewers had made so it would save us all a lot of time (oh, the urge to just say "a lot of valuable stitch time)!! Well, yes it did and she did not know "why", but just she had to fill out the forms completely!! I just gave it up and went back to "my" old reliable "what ever"!! Well, she was very worried about my safety as Max's "Support Person" so could not our "Back Up Support Person" step up to his "Support Person" and we ask some one else to be his "Back Up Support Person"!!
Well, it took me a minute to unravel all these "Persons", but I told her I could very assuredly tell her "NO, that most surely would not happen!!" Well, did I mind "sharing" with her why not? I told her I did not mind in the slightest, as we simply did not have a "back up support person"!! What about possibly a grandchild? Well, if we would have had children, which we did NOT, they might have responded, but I was quite sure "grandchildren" were out of the question!! Now, I got a bit miffed here as you have to be 18 to be considered a "support person" - I asked just how old did she thought we happened to be!! Oh yes, guess I would be correct then!! Much discussion ensued, but the subject of a "Support Person" was lost in the big tangled mess!!

Carol went on to quiz me over the possibility of us asking a potential donor for their kidney and/or section of liver!! I had ended our "Support Person" discussion with it was Max and I against the world by OURSELVES and we had long ago accepted this and possibly Carol should also move her mind set to this!! I truly thought this was "the point"!! Carol wanted me to be sure there was not a friend, possibly a person Max had worked with, etc., etc., etc.!! Can you even begin to imagine hearing, "Uh, Hey, Deb!! You know you and I have worked together a long time, you think you might not miss a kidney and/or part of your liver?"!!!! NO, I can not even imagine such a thing!!

Well, I started not believing a word this woman had to say to me!! However, I walked out thinking God had placed her especially right in my path to watch over us!!

Carol has above and beyond promised an end to this insanity by mid-October!! At that time, Max will finally, just over four years later, be placed on the National Donor Organ List!! I was busy thanking the Lord, when I heard "Um, now Max has Type O Blood. That will place him 3 to 5 years down on the list, give or take a circumstance or two!! I immediately begin to think, Carol, Max is Type O Blood which is almost the universal blood type!! Where in the world are the rare blood types on "this list"!! Well, Max will be placed on the National List retroactive back to June 16, 2008 as this was his dialysis start date!! Why can I not shout "Happy Dance" on my rooftop?

Carol "assured" me that she would be placing in the record and having held on "stand by" a private ambulance service to transport me to and from the hospital each day as they do NOT have any vehicles that have access for a person to be transported in a wheelchair!! Carol says I will only be required to stay 7 to 10 days in the hotel alone and when Max is discharged from the hospital we would only have to stay another week or so together at the hotel!! She said I was required to stay in Iowa City to "support" Max's getting up to walk several times each day immediately following his transplant as the staff is too busy to make sure each patient is assisted and does this walking several times a day!! I absolutely QUIT asking do they not see me as a disabled person in a wheelchair that does not walk herself, much less support a man walking immediately after surgery!! She said if I needed further "help" at the hotel room the hospital would provide it. I ask again, perhaps they should provide this "help" for Max where it is needed and could be used!! I will be glad to go home and just get the heck out of the way!!

I was completely stunned with Carol's time frame, hotel "help" and actually knowing Max will be listed on National Donor List finally!! She went on with so many other details and I am lost as to almost all of them!! I keep questioning Max if I did not have a day where my morphine had gotten off balance again!! I am continuing to question this entire day!! Max keeps assuring me this is a perfectly normal day for me and I am having no "episode"!!

And, as we progressed on, Carol discovered Max's Vie Nam tours. These have virtually went totally unaddressed for all these years and now suddenly she told us we were entitled to an extremely substantial amount of tax free income also from these as Max did develop prostrate cancer some years back!!

Carol seemed very dedicated to her job and also very proudly told us she was very sympathetic to the Viet Nam veterans!! She convinced me she was totally knowledgeable about all aspects of the different Veteran's Acts and all the Rules and Regulations. Why can I not bask in the wonders of the possibility that we have finally won this battle I have appealled, appealled and appealled?

I guess all I can do is now sit back ,pray and HOPE!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

THURSDAY, JULY 09, 2009 - EVALINA ZAMANA

Good Evening to All:

I have a quite lengthy entry to night, but I truly do not have the words to express what I am really feeling!!

I have been on bed rest all week as I am having some problems the doctor simply says "Watch very carefully. Either some thing else will happen or a "bug" will run it's own course"!! Famous last words the last two times I found myself being rushed to emergency surgery during the night!! But, I do feel a bit better tonight and am hoping and praying the "bug" passed!!

I have been in total bed rest for approximately the last three days, but sort of feel like what ever it was has passed, I hope!!

Yesterday, I answered my telephone and heard the words Evalina Zamana and stopping by!! I got instantly very excited, but knew there was absolutely no time to do much than get me out of my night gown, run a brush through my hair and have Max get me seated comfortably on my new deck to wait for the expected visitor. I had already reasoned through my mind that Evalina would have been talking about an impending vacation long ago and I would have been notified if she was going to be any where in this area!! But, I was very groggy and confused!!

Soon a strange car pulled into our driveway and I certainly did not recognize her!! She was dressed very nicely and was very, very nice. At first, I just wanted to jump up and hug her and welcome her as I had thoughts now crossing my sleepy mind that it just might be Evalina!!

Well, I need to step back and give others a chance to catch up with this whole story as they deserve to understand every single part of this!! As most know, Rene is holding a new Hardanger Class which is just beginning. At first, you were required to sign up on the database and post a photograph of your supplies needed to complete the Hardanger Piece that was chosen for the class to do!! At the bottom of the Supplies List was "a supply of chocolate to calm nerves when we get to the point where you have to cut the Kloster blocks"!! I thought this funny, but knowing me it would just be some thing else that could cause a mess for me and get smeared on my endeared project so I stupidly omitted my supply of chocolate!!
However, on Evalina's Supplies Picture posting, she had all kinds of various very good and tasty looking chocolates!! At the time, I thought "I would have killed for that selection of chocolates pictured"!!

And, off we began Lesson One this past week of just making the outside row of Klooster Blocks!! Okay, some day this will be an extremely easy thing to set up and I will laugh when remembering all the troubles I had trying to get these blocks perfect!! I did not actually go in to the database to check, but it seemed to me that I was the only one not done with this week's assignment!! Shortly, Lisa N. posted she had not been able to finish either at that time and that she was going into the corner in shame!! I popped in and told her to move on over as I would be keeping her company as I was in shame also!! Not too long later, Evalina popped in and asked if there was room for her in Lisa's and my corner. I replied surely and we would be glad to make room for her if she brought the chocolate!! Well, in a bit longer time passing, I believe Lisa, Evalina and my self had a "brain fart" and the light bulbs went off and the three of us were able to leave "OUR" corner and go to it and got the Lesson One finished!! I kept thinking, I sure hope Evalina left the chocolates in "OUR" corner for "insurance" of the rest of the Lessons!! I had the feeling the three of us were going to become very good friends just from our collective corner times for this project!!

I had no more real worries except was I going to be able to go to "Our" corner of shame in time to at least drown our sorrows in chocolate and nuts, and ohhhhhhhhh luscious caramel!!

Well, I was in bed, following my doctor's orders to the tee this time. Any possible chance of another surgery does wonders for my behaviour in following doctor's orders!! My telephone rang and I answered it very groggily and only truly understood the words "Evalina Zamana" and "coming to visit"!! I immediately began to yell for Max to get me up and make me look a little bit better, but it was not pretty!! He placed me out on our deck as it was cool and a light breeze went across it!! Max continues to seal our inside of our house up equivalent to a bomb shelter so no cool air can get in no matter what. He runs around this home in his long winter underwear, two sets of sweats, and a jacket and cap!! He drives me crazy!! With my illness, it is some times been described best that you need to imagine all the blood in your entire body has been drained out and a lighter fluid has been replaced for this blood and then some one ignites the lighter fluid!! I literally feel that my body is in the middle of a bon fire and I am being burned to death 24 hours per day, seven days per week!! It is excruciating in pain and I am just hot, hot, hot!! Even in the winter nothing pleases me more than to wear my regular shorts and a light top with no shoes - flip flops if it is absolutely necessary for me to go outside!! This happens all through each of our bitter cold winters also. Thus, my front deck is the safest and coolest place in this entire home 99% of the time!! Thus, Max settles me into a lawn chair and I wait. Max kept asking who or what I was waiting for!! And, I honestly could not tell him, even though this very nice lady had told me exactly who she was and why she was coming by. I only retained Evalina and my home!! I honestly could not believe Evalina would have made her way to Iowa, of all places, from the Yukon without many days of discussion and telling every one of her plans!! I could recall nothing about her going any where!! So, I just decided to try to bring myself to being fully awake and waited!!

Soon, a very nice car, with an extremely well-dressed lady appeared in our drive way and she began the walk up the drive way. She was a very pleasant and friendly gal!!
Immediately, she began to explain why she was at my home and that she was just "representing" Evalina!! Now, I was thoroughly confused!! This gal, who introduced herself as Mary Kaster then handed me a lovely gift bag and proceeded to tell me it was for me from Evalina!! She also encouraged me to open it as soon as possible!! I reached in and I pulled out a nice big box of DeMet's Chocolate Caramel Turtles!! I so wanted to just taste one, but knew better with my stomach that day!! I then pulled out the most beautifully packaged "Satin Hands Pampering Set" from Mary Kay!! I have had cracked and rough hands for quite some time. This is a three set process that seems to just have to work!! I sure am going to begin trying immediately tomorrow morning as Mary was kind enough to explain exactly how you use this three step process. I truly feel this is just what I have been so badly needing for my hands!!

Above is a picture of the unopened bag Evalina had sent me all the way from the Yukon!!Above is the lovely gifts opened and arranged for display for every one to see!!

All I can say is I am sure going to invite Evalina in any "naughty corner" I find myself in!! It was very touch and go, if I actually was going to be able to post that I had completed the Lesson this morning. I had tried, but for some reason could not get the Lesson to Post!! I tried later today, while I was up and the Lesson printed just find to the Lesson Album!!

Hopefully, this was an omen that is telling me I will be able to get through this Hardanger Lesson and project with no more trials and tribulations!! However, if I do I sure know where those DeMet's Turtles are setting right now and every one has been notified they are Private Stock!! I may look for a mistake just to be able to take a chocolate break!!

After Evalina's friend left, I sat absolutely stunned!! I could never imagine any one doing any thing for any one so far away, much less to have some one do some thing so nice just for me so far away!!

Evalina, you are truly the best friend any one could have!! I am truly at a loss for words to know just how to say "THANK YOU" except to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH for this pure act of kindness and caring for me!! To care for some one you do not know all that well and have such a great amount of humor attached to it shows you care deeply about every one and every thing in this entire Group!!

I can come up with no other words, but THANK YOU VERY MUCH EVALINA ZAMANMA!! Your are truly one very great and caring lady with an incredible sense of humor!!

I love you very much Girlfriend!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

SATURDAY, JULY 20, 2009 - TODAY WAS ONLY GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED ON "GRISWOLD OUTHOUSE HELL VACATION"!!

Hello All,

I saw my doctor yesterday, and he is still ordering as much bed rest as possible and I am to stay in wheelchair at all other times. Eunice took me to the doctor, heard his Orders and then whisked me away to the big "Juneteenth Fest" down in our big park on the river!! Eunice was to be on a Panel Discussion and then be Judge to Pound Cake and Pie contest!! I have been taken to many fund raisers over the past year with Eunice, but never quite "got" what this "Juneteenth" thing was all about!! I don't remember any of the speaker's names and official titles, except that they were just quickly brought in to the park with police escort and as I ended up on the stage side as it was the only shaded and half-way cool place in that entire park, I got to hear and see a whole lot. These "dignitaries" were to have been taken by escort back to the airport to an awaiting private plane, but they were so impressed with this Celebration they continued on to stay and join in the festivities. There were tornado "watches" out for about 3:00 p.m. and they quickly turned into "warnings" and before all was over in the middle of a torrential downpour the tornado warning sirens went off!! These "dignitaries" being I can not remember there names were very impressed with this Celebration as they knew of no where else where one was being held. They spoke about Iowa being first to vote for Obama, and many other firsts, etc., etc., etc.!! They were absolutely astonished the Obama supporters had actually went out and canvassed door to door in every neighborhood they could possibly cover in this town of 26, 616 people. At least, I finally did learn our population in this city, if nothing else!!

This Celebration was all about the slaves being freed on this date in 1895!! These dignitaries said they had never seen such a harmonious city with the blacks and white gathering celebrating together!! Some "Dr. Boone", I think his name was, kept coming over to me wanting to discuss prejudice still in our schools as every one else on this stage were teachers!! I was just the "dummy" staying cool waiting for Eunice to finish!!

It was also a very lovely afternoon for me as I got to see and visit with about every Caregiver I have had over the past few years and got introduced to some more who could be potential next ones!! Max was safely at dialysis, so no interruptions or upsetting this apple cart of visiting these gals. I truly miss most every one of them very much!!

Then, about 3:30 p.m. the heavens let loose and it really thundered, lightning and downpoured!! After being knocked out of my chair by lightning hit a big oak tree right outside my Stitching Sanctuary about a month ago, I have a new fear of lightning for the first time!! However, I never had so many people pick me up and transfer me into Eunice's truck and hardly felt even a sprinkle. Then, suddenly many people came running towards Eunice's truck and started filling them with the Pound Cakes and Pies. A few of the women have this contest down to bring their entries to the contest straight from the oven, so they can be enjoyed at just eating, or I should say, tasting temperature!! Eunice's truck smelled heavenly!! I kept telling Eunice she could be a "legend" in her church's history if we just kept going north to our homes with those heavenly Pound Cakes and Pies!! But, honest Eunice had to stop by the church and some fellows came out and unloaded them and took them in the church!! Eunice thought I had enough up time and combined with the weather decided we would call it a day and go home after her truck was unloaded!!

I wanted Pound Cake all night last night!! Got none!! However, that sweet Wanda was here to help get me up this morning and she gave me a real special breakfast - a very large hunk size of a Pound Cake!! Note to me: Max do not even think about terminating Wanda or you shall be terminated!!

Well, I have lots of pictures and trying to write down all the stories I can remember from vacation, however, I HAVE to remedy my extreme rudeness and get all my birthday things pictured and Thank Yous finished before I get any thing else done!! However, my "birthday note pad" is temporarly missing right now as I had a BIG surprise upon being brought out of those damn "woods" by Eunice and her husband!! I had a beautiful computer amorie and a new Kodak All-In-One Printer for my newly organized and almost finished "Stitching Sanctuary"!! I also got a wonderful five blade with three light bulb fixtured ceiling fan as this room is a long story, but shortly surmised it is very hot and stuffy!! So, needless to say, my beloved "Stitching Sanctuary" has been emptied once again and all new plans revised and are beginning to be implemented!! Long story short, I can not find any thing, much less a writing pad!!

However, there was one very good thing that happened while we were on "vacation"!! I could not get any phone calls unless I happened to be at the very point of the river inlet backwaters fishing while being eaten alive by mosquitos and gnats!! I had black patches on me that others would notice just eating me up some thing terrible, but with my morphine I could not feel them at all. Now, I can yet very well as I am still trying to overcome infection where I scratched myself beyond doctor's belief as I could not feel the pain, just the itching. Thus, I was placed on pills that were for itching to make me stop!! Well, they worked as they knocked me cold out and I slept so I could not scratch!! Nor, be in attendance mentally for my second big birthday surprise party comprised of our married friends and neighbors!! Eunice found me out sleeping in my Stitching Sanctuary and was quite miffed that Max had not gotten me dressed and ready for company!! He had the "nerve" to say he knew his limits and he could not wake me up!! Eunice managed to and got me cleaned up and dressed for my birthday party, but I do not remember one person here or any thing about it!!
I am sure I am the rumor of this town now that "I" am the one with the drinking problem!! Good Grief only at the "Griswolds"!!

Well, at one time of this fishing fun EVERY day, I actually did get a telephone call!! This man asks me how I would like an officially autographed Chicago Cubs duffel bag!! I thought "Good Lord only a "Griswold" could get a telemarketer find them in the depth of woods"!! I was actually speechless, but so darn happy to talk to any one else from the city, I continued to talk to this man!! I know nothing about baseball and wondered what this guy wanted or rather how much!! Soon, he asked me how I would like to go to a Chicago Cubs ball game. Well, if he promised to come get me out of those darn woods, I would have went and watched grass grow with him!! I told him I sure would love to go to Chicago!! Thus, he then asked if he could be a stowaway to Chicago with me!! I then thought, I had been in the sun too long that day drowing worms and I had become delusional!! Here was a man promising to take me to Chicago!! Then, he said, since he had gotten my attention he wanted me to know I was the Grand Prize Winner for the Cancer Relay for Life Raffle!!
I am yelling "WOOHOO" by this time and Eunice is coming over and asking me to hand her my phone!! OH NO, I am getting out of here!! And, this man then tells me that in accepting the Chicago Cubs duffel bag I also had to accept ownership of all of it's contents, especially the FOUR CENTER FRONT BOX SEATS to the June 20 Noon Baseball Game!! I was going wild!! Eunice thought I finally had crossed over that fine line of delusional!! After I got off the phone, everyone wanted to know what was going on!! Well, this was the biggest mistake in my life and I told them!! Of course, by the time I came back into the city our local news medias had already told the entire town and surrounding areas!!

For the last three weeks, I have been the most popular woman in this town. All my dear friends who had disappeared on or about May 04, 2002 all came crawling out from their rocks!! Surely I needed some one to help me so that I could go to Chicago!! Well, let's say I will not repeat what I sure did tell these dear friends!!

I have never been so miserable in my entire life!! I had originally declared Eunice's husband, Marion and my hubby, Max each would get a pair of these tickets as these are die hard Chicago Cubs fans!! Well, every thing was well for about two days!! Marion was told he absolutely could NOT have this day off as his business had overbooked and had three separate weddings today!! NO way was Marion going to get today off!! They were really nice though and gave him four days of this past week off in a row and I believe even paid him!!

Back to my owning four Chicago Cubs Baseball tickets and Chicago package!!
I was never so guilt ridden and miserable in my life as to making a final decision of who got them!! Then, one night while tossing and turning and not being able to even close my eyes I remembered the very number one Chicago Cubs baseball fan of all time!! Do not ever interrupt Granny Lou from going to her Curves ladies work-out center every day of the week and never, never interrupt her watching a Cubs game on television!! Most know Granny Lou, as she and Eunice completely made the Iowa Department of Human Services look like the fools they are when they made their vain attempt to try and make Max, Miprezious and I move into an Assisted Living Facility!! These two women could be seen running between our homes in night clothes and every thing else just to outdo a real nasty Social Worker who had her nose into far too much information about us. Just because I am handicapped and Max got misdiagnosed THIRTEEN times in twelve weeks (he went totally unresponsive and 911 HAD to be called and this red flagged us as in need, but only need was Max being diagnosed correctly as needing a pacemaker and getting it) as this medical community simply did not care as he was deemed terminal on August 15, 2005!! I got Max transferred out of this town and he was a new man in less than 24 hours later!! He is still in dire need of a donor liver and kidney, if any one happens to see an extra not being used though!! Okay, back to Granny Lou!! She is our neighbor right next door and she is 85-years old to be in the middle of these shenanigans, but I would not have wanted to try and keep her away!! This woman still cross stitches 32-Count Linens!!

I could not wait until sunrise the following day!! I assigned Granny Lou Ticket Number One and Max Ticket Number Two!! Now, I knew there was a real need for some Caregivers to watch these two at such a crowded and large place as Wrigley Field!! So, Ticket Number Three went to Wanda, my present part-time evening gal and Ticket Number Four went to Eunice!!

Thus, this morning, I was awakened by a gentle tap on my shoulder and a nice back rub!! I thought now this is not Max!! It was Eunice and she said she discovered Max gone and decided to let herself in to get me up and settled in my chair for the day!! Wanda arrived and took over helping and gave me Pound Cake for my breakfast!! Soon, I was assuring all four that I would be just fine as I was having a make-up belated real birthday party today while I had the home all to myself!! Eunice told me I was in my chair and I had better not get my self in to any trouble as all my first responders were going to be in Chicago and the other close ones had just another working day!! I never thought of these "odds" until Eunice finished explaining them to me!! I told her I would be VERY good and stay in my chair!!

So, off the foursome went headed east to Chicago!! That game was awesome, I have just been informed!! It went THIRTEEN innings and the Cubs won 6-5!!
WOO HOO some real happy, but totally exhausted Cub fans!! There was 40,007 people at that baseball stadium today!! I again was darn glad I was not among them as it is in 90's after storming all night long!! Humidity is like you can cut it like a knife!! I have been informed there are four people very hungry going for the dinners and then are heading west back home to ME!!! WOO HOO!!

(Perhaps, I will not ask if any one has seen my Birthday list until some time late tomorrow afternoon. I think there will be four very cranky and overly tired fans returning without the zeal they left here with!!)

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

JUNE 18, 2009 - HAPPY, HAPPY DANCE!!!!

I have had my very best finish yet, since prior September, 2006, finally!! And, there was no one who wanted a special (She even would have been glad for any piece) project of mine more than one of my very best friends, Kathy Kiley!! Thus, I set out to make My Big Toe Design "REMEMBER ME" specifically for her!! So, I could not release the final pictures of it, until Kathy received her Birthday Box from me!!

NOW it is time to HAPPY, HAPPY DANCE for me!! I do not like a braggart, as I detest such people and I would like to continue liking myself!! However, I have to say I am proud as a peacock with the way this "REMEMBER ME" turned out!! It was my first 25-Count Evenweave, my first stitching one over one and stitching four new Specialty Stitches for me!!

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, Kathy seemed quite pleased with her Birthday gift, even though I was a bit late. Kathy was again the calming force, that knew by the time I had not sent her Birthday Box, that I was in progress of stitching her birthday gift!! She was the one who said, with great finese, that I should just put away the piece I was working on when "Clark" threw the "monkeywrench" into my stitching progress with his "Griswold Outhouse Hell Vacation" during the last week I had to finish this piece on time!! I have never been so stressed out before and after a "vacation" in my entire life!! I am still operating on complete physical and emotional exhaustion!! Kathy told me it sounded like I wanted complete perfection on this gift more than ever and that she preferred that I just be a bit late than try to continue stitching in the exhausted state I was in. I am still working my way back into completely being and feeling such exhaustion!! However, I am so grateful Kathy convinced me to back off it for a bit until I had some rest!!

I had found this wonderful navy blue "Memory Album" while actually out on an appointment at a VA facility for Max. I spotted this beautiful leather album and knew I just had to have it!! Then, I remembered the chart I had for quite some time. I just knew it was the perfect combination for Kathy's birthday this year!!

The best part of doing this was I knew I needed to get some just perfect navy blue braid for the edges to make a perfect finish for mounting my piece on the front of this beautiful album. I had expressed to Max that I simply had to get out some time to find this braid and I knew it had to be some where other than Clinton as it has nothing since Wal-Mart gave up most of it's crafting things!!

Thus, the day I had to be rushed down to Davenport, 50 miles away, for what I thought would amount to be put on some antibiotics, I told Max that no matter the outcome I absolutely wanted to go to the new Super Joann's store also located there. Well, I ended up having emergency surgery for what was found to be a tumor in the roof of my mouth!! Hours later, while Max was transferring me into our van from my wheelchair at the Surgery Center, he asked if I still wanted to go looking for the braid. I was still groggy from anesthesia, but I said most definitely!! Max said he really did not want to even try to do this, but he knows my determination when I set my mind into doing any thing!! So, off we went to Super Joann's!! We got there and Max again transferred me and wheeled me in the store. He immediately began looking just for the aisle that had braid as quickly as he could. He began taking any thing navy off the shelves and I kept shaking my head no. Then, Max finally got in to the very nice variety of braid which I had wanted. He again kept picking up all navy braids and some I would nod okay to as I was again drifting off into additional morphine sleep and he knew he was on his own. He continued to pick up any navy braid he thought would do!! He then quickly went looking for a check out counter. The man at the register informed Max he had to go to the cutting table before checking out. By this time, Max just told him he would take all of it, but again this man told him he still had to go back to a cutting table!! So, off we went to find a cutting table and upon finding one a woman clerk realized Max was having a problem and asked what she could do to help. Max told her he simply wanted to check out. And, being I was in no state to decide which of the braids I wanted, that he had continued to choose after I had drifted off, that he would take them all!! The woman told Max that some of the bobbins contained several yards and asked if he thought I truly needed that much of so many different braids. Max tried to ask me, but it got him no answer about any braid!! Thus, he told the woman what I was trying to do with the braid. And, between them, they decided on two yards just to be sure I had enough!! In the end, I now have the start of some real braid stash, but all in navy blue!! But, the good thing was there were two different ones that were absolutely perfect for the Album cover!!

I keep telling him he might as well begin to stitch as he is beginning to learn about all the different things about it!! He said he had a life time fill of picking out and purchasing braid, so he thought not!!

Last finish, I had a first 32-Count Linen and this time it was 25-Count Evenweave!! I just am beginning a first 28-Count Teal Jobelan. Debra Hall sent me a chart among her birthday gifts to me that I absolutely love. I "thought" I had seen every "tea" related chart existing, but here was a brand new one to me!! It is by Ellen Mauer-Stroh called "Stitching Hour". It has a 2000 Copyright. I absolutely loved it and had to at least give it a start in a rotation I am going to organize soon and stick to it!!

Thus, I know the pictures above leave a lot to be desired!! But, I am sure Kathy will have some posted soon that show the true beauty of this soon!! Remember, all have to give an extra kick in this HAPPY, HAPPY DANCE jig for me!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

P.S.

I am embarassed for my lateness in getting all my Thank Yous out for all the beautiful things I received for my birthday. I also am working on getting all the things photographed and posted!! There is truly no excuse for such rudeness, but I truly have just finally totally depleted and still have total exhaustion. I am trying to get a bit more accomplished each day, but it is truly very slow getting any thing accomplished yet!!

MAY 18, 2009 - MIPREZIOUS' EIGHTH BIRTHDAY

UNFORTUNATELY, DADDY HAD CONTROL OF THE CAMERA AGAIN TONIGHT!! MOMMY ACTUALLY IS GETTING BETTER PICTURES RECENTLY!!

MIPREZIOUS INSISTS ON OPENING ALL HER PRESENTS AND ANY THING ELSE WITH GIFT WRAPPING, OR EVEN WHAT APPEARS TO BE, IN THIS ENTIRE HOME!!

I know this is not a big day for many of you, but being it is pretty much the three of us being family we celebrate every thing!! And, today was Miprezious Dee Dee Markham II (official AKC Papers, not worth the paper they are written on) Eighth Birthday!!

Usually Miprezious and I share one really Big party Memorial Day weekend. However, we will actually be on vacation beginning next Monday, May 25 until June 01 or when ever we get fed up and decide to come home!! This vacation I am sure of only one thing!! This is a side splitting, belly laughing, and wetting your self kind of hilarious laugh from my daily log I intend to keep!! I have to have some thing to do!!

Thus, Miprezious and I may, or may not, have a Big shared party the weekend after we finally come home from our vacation!! But, for today Mi's Birthday amounted to birthday cake her Daddy had baked and decorated as I informed him I will be quite busy on my Super Secret Project until I notify him I am done and Do Not Bother Me unless he knows for sure the house is on fire and it will come back to my Stitching Sanctuary!! I did stop my work to have dinner, watch Mi do a few of her presents and birthday cake and ice cream!!

Mi had her regular great time of opening her presents and eating her cake and ice cream!! Mi has been non-stop sleeping since this little party!! The little gal slept in till 1:00 p.m. this afternoon!! It appears she is not aging gracefully!!

And, her pictures will appear some where in this writing and I am not even going to try and guess as I am way too tired my self!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah and Max

and, Miprezious, too

SUNDAY, MAY 17, 2009 - IS IT MY BIRTHDAY YET?

HEY EVERY ONE!!

AND, NOW A WORD FROM THE REAL "BOSS"!!

JUST TO LET EVERY ONE KNOW, TOMORROW, MAY 18, 2009 IS MY EIGHTH BIRTHDAY!!

VANILLA CAKE AND MILKBONES FOR ALL!!

GOING TO HAVE A SMALL CAKE ALL FOR ME TOMORROW, BUT AFTER WE GET BACK FROM VACATION, WE WILL PARTY DOWN AS IT WILL BE ALSO MOMMY'S BIRTHDAY THEN, TOO!! WE ALWAYS SHARE ONE REALLY BIG BIRTHDAY PARTY!!

BUT, I CAN HANDLE ALL THE BEST WISHES I CAN GET!! REMEMBER I GET TO GO ON VACATION WITH MOMMY AND DADDY THIS YEAR!! THINGS COULD GET A LITTLE TENSE IN ONE ROOM THAT IS EVEN SMALLER THAN THE CELL THAT ASSISTED LIVING ATTEMPTED TO KEEP US IN!!

LOVE, HUGS AND PUPPY LICKS!!

MIPREZIOUS DEE DEE MARKHAM II

P.S.

LOTS OF OTHER NEWS BELOW!!

SUNDAY, MAY 17, 2009 - CONTINUED

IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST CARD FOR A TEA CUP LOVING STITCHER?

THESE TWO PROJECTS WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH JUST TO "TEST" ME!!

AND, I AM ABOUT TO ADMIT FAILURE AND UNLESS KATHY K. FIGURES OUT HOW TO FINISH "I DON'T DO FROGGING" MY FROG HAS GREAT POTENTIAL OF TURNING INTO A T.O.A.D.!!

Papa and Mama Duck out exploring another side of our yard!!

I want these ducks to stay in my yard and nest and have babies!! Thus, Kathy K. advised me I had to make my yard more attractive to Mr. and Mrs. Duck than the other yards surrounding me!! Okie Dokie!! Now, how was I to do this!! Well, good Ms. K. advised me to get some water to them!! Had to think on this for a bit!! However, upon leaving from checking my Salon I saw a rather run down looking "Dollar General" Store and they had these small pools standing up front outside of their building!! I suddenly yell at Max to stop the van and go into the "Dollar General" and get me one of them pools!! "OH, NO WAY IN we will not say"!! Okie Dokey!! Get my wheelchair out as I am going in!! That resulted in a louder "OMG!! NO WAY!!" Then, Max promptly got out of the van and went in and got me a pool!! He was so darn mad at me by the time we got back home there was no way he was going to put that pool out and fill it up!!

Okie Dokie, Maxie!! I then asked him to get the pool out of the van at least for me and pull the hose to the front of our driveway as I was going to place and fill the pool!! NO WAY IN XXXX I WAS GOING TO TRY A STUNT LIKE THAT!!

Well, one word led to another and soon I just screamed at him, that I may fail at placing and filling that pool right, but I was going to be damned if I could not at least try!! And, I got in my transport wheelchair and used my legs to "toddle" the pool beside me and get it finally placed on an even spot in the yard and fill it! By this time, Granny Lou had come running out at my first "screech" at Max and tried to mediate the problem, while Eunice also heard me, however, she just stayed back on her porch watching to see if I could get the job done. After Eunice saw me having complete success she came a running over also!! I told them I was not going to become a complete invalid again and when I wanted to at least try some thing I was going to try and do it!! As, Eunice and Granny Lou had watched me struggle through keeping a perfect home during this past winter they knew Max had better let me fail trying or be ready to congratulate me upon success!! I will not allow some thing to be done for me that I can do for my self, but I must give you a bit of a hint of my condition today!! I have pictures of my legs, but they can wait a few days!! They could be attached to any elephant that would also happen to land in our yard as they are that big and rough from the "stunts" and "fiascos" I have had this last week!! BUT, I TOTALLY SUCCEEDED IN PLACING AND FILLING MY DUCK POND!! And, the real pay off was Mr. and Mrs. Duck were both in the pool taking a swim before a big dinner within a hour of my placing it out there!! Take that and deal with it Mr. Max!!

However, Kathy just told me yesterday, that the pool needs to be emptied and refilled about every third day!! It was news to me!! It was pure tears for Max!!

Max changed the water in the pool today while I went shopping with Eunice at the GOOD WILL Store where we met up with Wanda!!

After Mama and Papa Duck had their swim I threw a loaf of bread out to them and they and every bird withing five miles of this home landed and ate every crumb!!

And, the ducks took a walk around their new surroundings after their swim and dinner!! Max is now going to the "Wonder Bread Thrift" Store every other day for bread for my ducks!! Max has threatened to get a gun and shoot my ducks!!

I told him he is absolutely in worse trouble ever if any thing happens to MY ducks!! However, MY ducks have been ruining my hostas in deciding to make their nests in them!! They love it and hostas can easily be replaced if they truly do ruin the hosta garden that is beginning to take around this pine tree finally!!

Aren't these ducks just the cutest little pets? Miprezious is going to celebrate her Eighth birthday tomorrow and I am sure she will not be inviting the ducks for cake as Max has taught Mi to also hate MY ducks!!

Well, I also started a new "little" project that Kathy K. and I were going to do as a SAL together again!! I have not had a whole lot of luck with stitching, but I "think" it is because I am dreading the finishing so badly!! Will post picture of what it should look like!! Even, Kathy is "thinking" perhaps, we can figure out our own way to finish this one as instructions to not look all that simple!! I also began the Just Nan "Floral Fifteen"!! These two are little things, but they are two of the hardest things I have ever had the challenge to do and will not give up. I have my Super Secret Project that MUST be done yesterday to do by positively tomorrow!!

I woke up Monday, in some of the worst pain I ever thought I had from being up on my legs so much Saturday and all day Sunday!! My ankles were absolutely swollen to beyond capacity!! And, then, as expected, "my Mother" telephoned and noted I surely had to have come to realization that I could no longer fix a big dinner and especially for company!! I immediately came back, with I knew she had been very inconvenienced, however, "NO, absolutely I had not redecided any thing"!! Well, I might as well "do just as she had several years ago and simply quit as I could not do it any more"!! I could not concentrate on "combacks" to my Mother as I was in too much pain and simply reminded her "can not and quit are NOT even in my vocabulary"!! It was mighty hard to argue with her about my giving up, but I kept it in my mind that the only mistakes I had made was first inviting her and secondly in poor pre-planning!! I told her I had not been even detered in the least!! And, although in the midst of such swelling and pain it was hard to protest, I will NOT give up cooking, especially on special occasions!! I have not had Wanda since her being taken hostage and the gun held to her head with me at all!! I just today found out that there has been a "communication problem" between Eunice and Wanda. Wanda kept calling Eunice each day as she always has done as they are very best of friends!! Wanda would inquire as to how Max and I were doing and Eunice would always think she was asking about our relationship and would say every thing had never been better and things were absolutely fine!! Wanda took this as were we in need of her and when she asked, "how were we doing" she meant needing her help here.
Wanda said she felt un-needed by us!! I was joking around with her as Eunice and I had met up with her at the Good Will Store this afternoon!! Thus, Wanda will be coming back this week, but will principally be needed to help us prepare to leave on vacation next Monday, May 25!! We have very extensive packing to do this time as we had given up doing cabin life several years ago!! More about this "FIASCO" to come soon!!

I also forgot to put pictures of my most favorite Mother's Day gift I got!! It was 5 x 7 pictures of my "foster" twin grandchildren!! They sent me sweetest card and it was covered in stitching things that were all sitting in a big tea cup!! They could not have printed one their selves that would have been any more appropriate for me.
The twins, their mother and her boyfriend are also going to be with us at our cabin for a few days next week. I rather imagine their mother and her boyfriend will be leaving and also Alissa. However, I am thinking Alex will want to stay with us and fish for most of the time we will be gone!! I will post pictures above with duck and "I Don't Do Frogging" pictures!!

Back to my new duck family!! I had a Papa and Mama Duck arrive in my yard the day before Mother's Day and they have decided to stay it appears as they were still here today!! I am in midst of assisting putting in new flower gardens in my court yard left after my handicap ramp and deck was built last month here!! Max also went out and bought a Mexican clay chimchanga fireplace for the yard!!
These ducks were attracted to the cracked corn we had in the yard for Max's bird watching!! The ducks decided to nest in an old hosta bed that was the only thing that is left from the many beautiful gardens I used to have over entire property!!
These gardens dried up and died while I was recuperating from accident in May, 2002!!

I will try to put duck pictures up and describe each!! Grandmother Mother's Day card and pictures are self explanatory!! I will be sooooooooo glad when Meari and I can get together and she can teach me how to set this darn thing up!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah