I sort of was just on auto-pilot since loosing Miprezious and Max. I still am in many ways, but decided 2015 was going to be my year to "get it back together" and I have started to ease in to this now. Going to attempt to keep my Blog up, going and kept hopefully some what interesting. And, foregoing any more injuries, I am going to "smoke" my needles and finally do what I always wanted to do - being stitching from sun up to almost sun up the following day as I still am not sleeping well.
I am approaching my third lonely Christmas which will be compounded with our upcoming 35th wedding anniversary on Saturday. I have at least went through the motions. I was able to give a toy to two different children who were not going to have any thing for Christmas. I hope they enjoy them as much as possible. I began my stitching with making a list and trying to make some thing that meant some thing to each receiver. Unfortunately, I did not get too far on my list as things went slower than I ever thought. Going to try to transfer pictures to here on just what I have accomplished and what I am working on. Hope I remember how to do this!!
SUCCESS!! I captured the pictures. I am still the worst at taking pictures. Perhaps, a photography class should be in my 2015!!
The first five pictures are of a Scandinavian ornament collection. I thought it too plain and even wanted to finish in some sort of ribbons. However, I have read up on this subject as much as I could and every thing points to things being kept plain. And, thus this is exactly what I have tried to do. These ornaments are stitched on very sparkly fabric so it looks much like snow background. Every one so far loves them. However, they are for a very special lady from my church. She lost her beloved husband shortly after I did Max. Thus, I know exactly where she is with the holidays although she is blessed with a big and wonderful family albeit they are mostly living out of town. I have read her many posts on Norwegian customs and the like and thus when I saw these Scandinavian ornaments I had to stitch them for her. She also had serious health issues compounded with a serious accident while still recuperating (actually happened in her doctor's clinic building). I said very special prayers while I stitched each of these. Not into crocheting or knitting "prayer shawls" so perhaps, I can start a new "prayer ornament"!!
The next picture is a large project I have started for myself. It is called "Trinity". It is going to be quite large as there are three pieces each the size below. There is "Father", "Son" and "Spirit". Below is "Spirit". Each goes through the entire alphabet A-Z and there is a word describing "Spirit" for each alphabet letter (A is for Author, B is for Breath, C is for Comforter, etc. After all twenty-six words are stitched in I go back over this entire piece and stitch in a "shadow" that will say "Spirit". Probably not describing this well, but it is gorgeous when all done!! I have to quit going to shows, etc. that show all these nice new things!!
I thought I was doing rather well, but my doctor disagrees with me. He has started additional in-home Physical and Occupational therapies and more days for bath aide and nurse. I do not think I can remember a time within the last ten years that there was not in-home professionals here!! My legs are holding their own for the most part. I simply can not be up on them very long!! However, my arms have become affected also. Last week, my doctor said he had never seen a shoulder so bad, however, he will not allow the corrective surgery it so badly needs. He says it is just too risky to put me under anesthesia again along with any surgery most likely would make my RSD spread to my upper part of my body. Thus, I will continue to just figure out new and innovative ways to get done what I need to get done!! I did Thanksgiving dinner this year and plan on doing both Xmas Eve and Xmas Day. I have to admit I did have a LOT of help from my friends and aide. My sister is remarkably trying to help a bit here and there as she says she now realizes what I am going through each day.
I refuse to complain though. My cancer has not returned. I have a lovely home with every thing I have ever wanted in it. I have a nice vehicle in my garage should I ever be able to get at it again!! I have more needle stash than many small shops. Thus, I am quite content and happy. The only thing I really want is my beloved Miprezious and Max back, but I am well aware that is not going to happen!!
Getting back to my stitching groups and hopefully will keep up with my Blog!!
This is the happiest day in my life in quite some time!! PSALM 23 is finished, framed and delivered!! Oh, what a feeling!!
Below is a picture of Pastor Dennis and me. I picked his wife, Melanie, up at their home and we were off to the church to hunt for Pastor Dennis. He had just had arthroscopic knee surgery and it has become complicated with a "bakers cyst". He was in a lot of pain, so we knew he could not have gotten too far!! We quickly found him and he was just utterly surprised to see Melanie and me just "hanging out" waiting for him. Melanie had been able to get the gift wrapped Psalm 23 in to his office prior to us finding him. We led him back to his office and he was so surprised to see the huge wrapped package and asked what was it. I handed him the card with the story of Max's last request of me in that he wanted me to give Psalm 23 to him for his birthday this year. Unfortunately, I was a wee bit late!!
Pastor Dennis immediately began reading the card and note and the tears immediately began to fall from his eyes. Pastor got very emotional and he was a bit overwhelmed with the tears. Many of the church family had predicted this reaction!! I actually did not cry this time!! Each time I worked at composing the note attached to the card, I cried for hours like a baby. I guess, I was just so darn happy to have it completely done coupled with finally fulfilling Max's last request of me that I most surprisingly did not cry!!
This piece is exquisite!! I am absolutely awed by it!! Pastor Dennis immediately began taking pictures off his wall in order to find the perfect place to hang this!! He found the perfect place and immediately hung Psalm 23 on his office wall. The front of his office has clear glass panels from floor to ceiling so it is positioned perfect for every one to see!!
Now, I am in great fears of Pastor Dennis dragging this to his pulpit this coming Sunday in services. It would be great honor, of course, but I would be so embarrassed that I will want to climb under a pew!!
Pastor Dennis and Melanie absolutely love Psalm 23!! I have a perfect goal of mine more than achieved!! I KNOW Pastor Dennis will think of Max each day as he sees this beautiful piece. It is my greatest desire just to have Max remembered!! I am proud to say for my self - job very well done!!
Rest In Peace my beloved Max and our sweet little one, Miprezious Dee Dee!! Love and Hugs!! Deborah
P.S. You know it did not matter one little bit that this birthday gift was belated!!
A bit over one year ago, my dear husband, Max, asked for the second time ever that I stitch a specific design for him. I held my breath upon waiting to hear what he wanted me to do as he had never given up on my stitching a huge eagle for him. I so totally despised having to stitch any animal, particularly an eagle. I love animals, however, just have no desire to stitch them!
Max wanted My Big Toe's design of the "Psalm 23". Max was ill for a number of years and evidently had gotten comfort from this Psalm. Max proved our medical community very wrong as we were told on August 15, 2005 that he had "about six months" to live if he did not receive both a liver and kidney transplant (I can normally not remember what I had for breakfast on a given day, but that date is embedded in my mind). Max not only did not loose his battle, without the donor transplants, but he continued to thrive for a few more years until 2008 when he had to begin his hell on earth with dialysis. Despite my serious handicaps, I was able to care for Max until seven months prior to his death. It was my own doctors that demanded that Max be placed in a nursing home for care as I had no strength left. Max did fairly well in the nursing home until he had a fall which broke his hip on February 19 of last year. This was the beginning of a daily deterioration of him which ultimately led to his passing on March 07. However, I do not think a day went by in these last weeks that he and our Pastor did not recite this Psalm 23 together.
Max very much enjoyed my simply sitting next to him while I would stitch. Max decided he did not want to be at dialysis about six months prior to his fall. He began to just stand in the midst of his dialysis session and shout that the needles be taken out of him or that he would do it himself!! Dialysis did not have the staffing to assign a nurse just to watch over Max and demanded that some one accompany him to every session and stay the entire time with him which was about six hours from leaving to go and finallly returning from the dialysis center. Since we do not have any other family (besides my quite elderly and ill mother) it was then left up to me to go and stay with Max through dialysis. When ever possible, our Pastor would go with Max and allow me the hours to rest. Giving me these hours of rest was the very best gift any one ever gave me!! Thus, I was able to keep Max occupied with watching the progress of Psalm 23 many times during our dialysis hours at the beginning of it. This did not last long though as I soon found that I had to many times struggle to my feet to literally throw my body across Max's dialysis chair to keep him in it!! Nevertheless, Psalm 23 got it's start during dialysis time.
Max was always in management of our local electric generating station. He was told he could not socialize with any of the employees with his position. Max was from out of town and knew few other people. Thus, Max did not make friends well and had very few. After my accident I desperately needed my home made handicap accessible. I had huge medical bills and little finances for much else. A local church group came, had a benefit for me and raised funds to build a handicap ramp on my home and other things that would make life easier in my home.
Through this group I had met an absolutely wonderful Pastor. I had not seen him for awhile to one day I met him while Max was hospitalized. He wanted to know why I was at the hospital and I told him that Max was again having some serious medical problems. This Pastor went immediately to Max's room to visit him and continued to do so. Soon Max was good friends with the Pastor and really looked forward to his coming to see him each day. As Max worsened the Pastor began to recite Psalm 23 to Max and Max joined in many times. When Max realized he was not going to live long enough to see Psalm 23 finished he asked me to promise to finish it. I told him I would certainly do this.
Max continued to deteriorate very rapidly after his surgery to repair his broken hip. One day Max was talking with the Pastor and he announced he had enough pain and struggle. He just wanted the Pastor and my self to get him out of the hospital. Thus, the Pastor and I began one of the longest days and well in to that evening that I ever had last March 01. We did not wait around for the incompetent "hospitalist" doctor to decide to discharge Max or go through any other hassles. We simply called Hospice and arranged for a private ambulance to come and take Max out of that hospital ASAP. The Pastor rode with Max in the ambulance back to the nursing home while I went home to pack my things as I moved in to the nursing home to be with Max round the clock. It was well in to the evening when the Pastor got a phone call which we could not help but to overhear a group of people singing Happy Birthday to him. I could not believe that this Pastor had just spent his entire birthday and evening with us!! I told the Pastor how horrible I felt about this and he simply replied "there was no where else he would rather have been". Both Max and I were so overcome with this Pastor's compassion and care for us.
Much later that night, Max asked me if I would be upset if he wanted me to give this piece to the Pastor on his next birthday from him. I told him I would very much enjoy doing so. Thus, I had an obsession to finish this piece and by March 01 of this year. However, after Max's services were over I found I could not even look at this piece as it simply brought back too many very painful memories. I put it aside and would take it out and have to put in aside again for months. Finally, over the holidays it came to me that I had better get my self in to some serious stitching on Psalm 23!! Thus, I have been stitching almost every waking moment on this piece. I have kept track of my hours, but am just too tired at this moment to tally them up. I will when I show the framed finish.
I simply can not find a position to get even a "decent" picture of my "Psalm 23" at this point. It is HUGE!!
I am on the downward home stretch now!! I am so excited!! I have ten days!! I have cleared my days and evenings to having to do almost nothing, but "Psalm 23".
The Pastor's wife, Melanie, met me last week at my local LNS to choose the frame for this. It is beautiful, but huge also. My LNS owner has assured me the frame will be delivered to her this Wednesday (two more days) and she will be awaiting me and the finished "Psalm 23". This gal knows how important this is to me and has assured me she will do every thing she can to help make March 01.
It may take a miracle as this border is very slow for me. But, I overcome much worse obstacles previously and won!! Please be in prayer and good vibes for me. I plan on sun up to sun rise. I have even resorted to getting my kitchen timer set by me and have it set to ring every thirty minutes to "try" and keep me awake. My "drowsiness" is still going very much against me!!
I have been doing amazingly well with my Psalm 23 I think. I think I may get another miracle and have it done for the March 01 birthday!! It truly is becoming very beautiful. Several have commented that the border is not as hard as it appears. I have been giving it a lot of great thoughts as I am stitching the words yet as to how I should go at it. Only MY mother would send my brother off to buy her a single flower bulb that cost $80!!! I just want to know how much she is going to have to pay to have her home fumigated!! This flower is called a "Voodoo Lily". It is truly exquisite to view. However, it gives off a stench only possibly compared to a houseful of dead mice!! It is horrible!! It truly stings your eyes, nose and mouth and takes your breath away!! I took my mother supper last night and I could not stay long enough to eat with her. I felt like I was actually eating this awful stench!! She is just lucky it is so cold outside or she would have every fly in the state of Iowa in her home abiding on this thing. And, it is no little thing either. I did not care to have my picture taken today, but mother insisted I stand beside it to show how high it truly has grown. I am almost six feet tall, however, I now can no longer stand up straight. My brother had to brace the bottom of this stalk. You evidently have to keep this dormant in your basement from the time you dig it up in your yard in the fall until early spring. After it blooms and the weather warms up you plant it outside for the summer. It does very little outside, but that is how you keep this atrocity. I for one sure would not!! Wish I was better with camera as pictures are sideways and a bit hard to view. Mother has several small "babies" from her bulb sitting at the base of it. Mother tells of my while my father was still alive (they had other bulbs like this years ago even, just much cheaper to buy) years ago and he forgot about this "thing". He had placed it in a large dark storage room in the basement. When spring arrived so did this terrible stench and the hunt was on to find the dead critter some where in the house. My mother had every one looking in every inch of the home before they remembered the "thing" in the storage room. The Quad-Cities is located near us about a hour away. I recently read in the newspaper where some people owned these "lilies" there. They have a beautiful indoor arboretum in that area and they take their lilies there to display and leave them until the stench has gone away. These lilies only bloom once a year for about three to four days, thank the good Lord!!
My name is Deborah. I am now married, but husband is in a nursing home. I do not have any children, but we had the love of our life furbaby, Miprezious, who is nine years old. However, as an update, our beloved, Miprezious, did pass on September 05, 2010. I am 61 years young and retired prematurely due to disability.
My beloved husband, Max, did loose his battle of deperately clinging on to his life and me. Max passed on March 07, 2011.