Monday, March 28, 2011 - I AM EXCITED!!

I am intent on finishing all the loose ends of Max's funeral and estate, etc. by the end of this week. This morning the funeral home director came to my home to help me accomplish many things. Among these things was picking out the cemetery marker. This task made me even more sad than I started today, however, before it was finished I was happy, smiling and ever so excited!! Again, my camera and I need some more coordinating with each other as I got more bad pictures, however, I did try my all to get this marker's picture clear so you could see it. I lived a stitcher and now I am assured I will pass as a stitcher and be ever after remembered as a stitcher. I got a cross stitch piece, hoop, thread and needle engraved in my own cemetery marker!! I am happy and so excited over this!! I had no idea this could be done!! The pictures are below. I am also very excited and happy to have Miprezious Dee Dee included on our family marker. De De I has her own bronze marker at the foot of our graves.

And, I also got another finish for this year all in my past "Me" stitching weekend. I think this was the quickest finish ever for me!! I am contemplating making it in to some thing like a pillow case. I am going to try to find a small piece of Easter themed fabric for the back of this. Of course, in this one horse town there is no where to purchase fabric, but there is always the possibility of my going the hour commute to next largest town where they have all kinds of stores. I then am hoping it will fit over the permanent star on my display tree and I will have an Easter tree topper!!

It is just three weeks ago today that I lost the love of my life Max. You would think I could not possibly have any more tears left in me, but they still sneak out without any warning too much of the time.

I did get my self awakened and dressed yesterday morning in plenty of time for church. I feel there is absolutely no place lonelier than sitting in a church pew by your self. I drove to my church as slow as I legally could and found a parking place. And, then I proceeded to simply just sit and chat with Max about making my self get out of my car and go in to the church. I eventually did go in to the church and the services were once again lovely. And, a couple did come in as ask if they could share my pew and did introduce their selves to me. I still can not say this is a comfortable thing for me to do, but hopefully I will keep making it a habit and it will become easier.

Today, I did begin re-doing my kitchen. I have searched for some ten hours online for some simple solid colored, tea rose preferably, kitchen tier curtains. I have not been able to find any thing!! I am about to declare a nice finder's fee to find them. I am also going to buy a new dining table and chairs as soon as I can find a set I love. I have a big old style solid maple drop leaf table and chairs that are simply too big. I am planning on hopefully finding a much smaller sized set as my days of large dinner parties are over. I am also hopefully going to find a nice stackable washer and dryer to put in my kitchen if the plumbing and venting can be done. Getting a washer and dryer upstairs will give me the total independence that I want so badly!!

I am intending to do each room in my home one last time. I no longer have to worry about the "ifs" and questionables as to Max ever coming back home again. Prior to this time, I still wanted to keep things comfortable for Max as I planned on several weekend visits and I always held out the hope I could some how bring him home for good where he belonged. Now, having to accept that will never happen changes so many things.

I want every thing in it's place and kept that way from now on. I have absolutely no one to blame any more for any clutter or mess as both Miprezious and Max are gone. It is just now me, my self and I.

Overall, it was the best weekend I have had in quite some time!! The weather is forecasted to be very nice the next few days so possibly I can get all my "to do" list done before a new one begins!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah