Monday, March 28, 2011

Monday, March 28, 2011 - I AM EXCITED!!

I am intent on finishing all the loose ends of Max's funeral and estate, etc. by the end of this week. This morning the funeral home director came to my home to help me accomplish many things. Among these things was picking out the cemetery marker. This task made me even more sad than I started today, however, before it was finished I was happy, smiling and ever so excited!! Again, my camera and I need some more coordinating with each other as I got more bad pictures, however, I did try my all to get this marker's picture clear so you could see it. I lived a stitcher and now I am assured I will pass as a stitcher and be ever after remembered as a stitcher. I got a cross stitch piece, hoop, thread and needle engraved in my own cemetery marker!! I am happy and so excited over this!! I had no idea this could be done!! The pictures are below. I am also very excited and happy to have Miprezious Dee Dee included on our family marker. De De I has her own bronze marker at the foot of our graves.
And, I also got another finish for this year all in my past "Me" stitching weekend. I think this was the quickest finish ever for me!! I am contemplating making it in to some thing like a pillow case. I am going to try to find a small piece of Easter themed fabric for the back of this. Of course, in this one horse town there is no where to purchase fabric, but there is always the possibility of my going the hour commute to next largest town where they have all kinds of stores. I then am hoping it will fit over the permanent star on my display tree and I will have an Easter tree topper!!
It is just three weeks ago today that I lost the love of my life Max. You would think I could not possibly have any more tears left in me, but they still sneak out without any warning too much of the time.

I did get my self awakened and dressed yesterday morning in plenty of time for church. I feel there is absolutely no place lonelier than sitting in a church pew by your self. I drove to my church as slow as I legally could and found a parking place. And, then I proceeded to simply just sit and chat with Max about making my self get out of my car and go in to the church. I eventually did go in to the church and the services were once again lovely. And, a couple did come in as ask if they could share my pew and did introduce their selves to me. I still can not say this is a comfortable thing for me to do, but hopefully I will keep making it a habit and it will become easier.

Today, I did begin re-doing my kitchen. I have searched for some ten hours online for some simple solid colored, tea rose preferably, kitchen tier curtains. I have not been able to find any thing!! I am about to declare a nice finder's fee to find them. I am also going to buy a new dining table and chairs as soon as I can find a set I love. I have a big old style solid maple drop leaf table and chairs that are simply too big. I am planning on hopefully finding a much smaller sized set as my days of large dinner parties are over. I am also hopefully going to find a nice stackable washer and dryer to put in my kitchen if the plumbing and venting can be done. Getting a washer and dryer upstairs will give me the total independence that I want so badly!!

I am intending to do each room in my home one last time. I no longer have to worry about the "ifs" and questionables as to Max ever coming back home again. Prior to this time, I still wanted to keep things comfortable for Max as I planned on several weekend visits and I always held out the hope I could some how bring him home for good where he belonged. Now, having to accept that will never happen changes so many things.

I want every thing in it's place and kept that way from now on. I have absolutely no one to blame any more for any clutter or mess as both Miprezious and Max are gone. It is just now me, my self and I.

Overall, it was the best weekend I have had in quite some time!! The weather is forecasted to be very nice the next few days so possibly I can get all my "to do" list done before a new one begins!!

Love and Hugs!!



Debbie Jo said...

You sound so much better Deborah! Grief comes in its own way and you just have to let it come as it will. I am tickled for you having your grave marker the way you want it! Such a nice tribute to your family and now everyone will know how much you love to stitch! I love your little finish,,and so very proud of you with all your finishes this year! Smile and keep your chin up. We all love you!

htimcj said...

That is a gorgeous marker. You may not use it for yourself for a very long time :) Your easter finish is so pretty.
I hope the daily activities for you will get easier over time.

Meari said...

Wow, Deborah. I didn't know you could have that done on a headstone. Very nice. What's the picture above Max's name?

Congrats on your finish. It turned out adorable!

EvalinaMaria said...

Dearest Deborah, congratulation on the lovely finish and good luck with house project.

Here are a few words by Sri Chinmoy for you:

"Life is a journey.
Death is the continuation of the journey.
Heaven is a temporary rest
For the commencement and fulfillment of a new life, a new hope and a new promise."

Max is continuing his journey.


Deborah said...

The picture above Max's name is a fishing design.

Love and Hugs!!

Emily in NC said...

You will miss Max for along time Deb, make them fond memories. The marker is really neat, did not know you could do that. Like the egg as well, so very Eastery.

Nancy M said...

So glad that you have a more positive outlook this post. It's nice you have designed a marker of your liking and have everyone's love of life taken care and stitching! All of your "to do" list sounds achievable and should keep you occupied for the next few months! Your egg is adorable and will look great on your tree!

chrisstitches said...

Love the marker.
Your Easter finish is adorable.
I just joined the i-love-group a few weeks ago.

Terry said...

Love your stitching! Can't wait to see how you finish it.

LIke how you had the marker done. So nice to have Mi with you both.

SOunds like you're having good days and some not so good but that's to be expected. Take it one day at a time like you have been and it will eventually get easier for you.


Katrien said...

that's a beautiful Marker.
Lovely easter finish! Good luck on the home-redecorating.
Just take things one day at a time, some days you'll still be filled with grief, just take your time for it.

mdgtjulie said...

It sounds like you're doing well at finding the positives in life where you can. I hope you continue to go to church. It can be the most soothing thing in the world. Keep your chin up and remember you have lots of friends here who will support you in anything you do!!hante

mdgtjulie said...

Sorry, hante was supposed to be the text you have to type in to post your comment. No wonder it didn't work the first time, lol. And, btw, Love your finish. Beautiful!!

Carolyn NC said...

Deborah, I am so impressed with all you've accomplished and are making yourself do. You go, girl! Cute finish and can't wait to see all the changes you make. Glad you could make your marker so personalized!

Cindy Jo said...

Your work is so beautiful! I hope that with time the items I stitch look as good. Again, beautiful!