WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2008 - CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

WARNING: THIS BLOG IS RATED PG AND YOU SHOULD GET YOUR PARENT TO READ IT WITH YOU!!





THIS NATIVITY STABLE WAS MADE FOR ME BY MY FATHER!! I VERY MUCH CHERISH IT!! IT IS WIRED WITH A BLUE LIGHT AND IS EXQUISITE AFTER ROOM IS DARKENED!! DAD HAD JUST BEEN RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL AFTER HAVING TO HAD CPR WITH A HEART ATTACK.

THIS IS REALLY MY PURPLE TREE!! IT IS BEAUTIFUL, BUT THIS IS TERRIBLE PICTURE!!

WANDA DECIDED TO PUT MY "SMALLS" COLLECTION UNDER THE TREE!!

THIS GREEN TREE IS MEMORIAL TO MY FATHER. HE MADE EVERY ORNAMENT ON THIS TREE!! I JUST STARTED TO FIGURE OUT HOW OLD THEY ARE!! "MAD MAX" AND i WILL BE MARRIED (TECHNICALLY) 30 YEARS THIS SUNDAY!! MY FATHER HAD MADE THESE ORNAMENTS PRIOR TO MY MARRIAGE!! THERE ARE SOME TRULY AWESOME ONES THAT WE NEED TO DO SOME SLIGHT REPAIRS TO AS THEY JUST ARE STARTING TO FALL APART A BIT.

HELLO ALL DEAREST ONES,

WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY!! WANDA IS GOOD, VERY GOOD!! SHE CONVINCED ME TO LET HER PUT UP A FEW OF MY VERY FAVORITE DECORATIONS!! SHE DID A GREAT JOB!! I JUST NEED TO START GETTING ALONG WITH THE DARN CAMERA!! NOTE: CAMERA TO DO LIST!!

I TRULY DID DOWNSIZE SEVERAL CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!! OH, THIS TURNED OUT TO BE REALLY FUNNY!! WANDA AND I SPENT AN ENTIRE EVENING GOING THROUGH ALL THE CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS ABOUT A WEEK AGO.

WANDA TOOK WHAT SHE WANTED. WE DECIDED TO SAVE THE NUMEROUS, PARACHUTE MATERIAL LIKE, BLOW UP FIGURES. WHY? THEY ARE BRAND NEW!!

WE STILL HAD SEVERAL BOXES OF WONDERFUL ORNAMENTS THAT I REALLY WANTED TO FIND A NEW HOME. WANDA THEN REMEMBERED SHE HAD ONE OF THE CLASSES SHE INSTRUCTS GRADUATING THE NEXT DAY. SHE INSTRUCTS SINGLE MOTHERS ON HOW TO GET A JOB AND KEEP IT. WANDA ASKED IF I MINDED THAT THESE DECORATIONS WE DID NOT WANT COULD GO TO THESE SINGLE MOTHERS. I TOLD HER THAT WOULD BE GREAT!! WANDA SAID THAT THE DECORATIONS WERE A REAL SURPRISE TO THESE LADIES AND THEY ALL SCRAMBLED AT ONCE TO PICK SOME THING OUT!! WANDA SAID THEY ALL THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THEM!! I AM VERY PLEASED TO KNOW THESE HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE TO SOME ONE ELSE!!

BUT, IN GOING THROUGH A STACK OF BOXES, WE SOON LEARNED "MAD MAX" JUST THREW ANY THING ANY WHERE!! RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE BOX OF CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS WAS WHAT WANDA THOUGHT A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF RUBY RED GLASS. I GOT A GOOD LOOK AT THIS PIECE AS I COULD NOT VISION MYSELF WANTING ANY THING RUBY RED AT ANY POINT IN MY LIFE THUS FAR. I GOT A GOOD LOOK AND WAS INSTANTLY MORTIFIED!! WHILE SINGLE I HAD THE ANNUAL MEMORIAL DAY OPENING BASH AND THE LABOR DAY CLOSING BASH FOR THREE DIFFERENT CITY'S SINGLE'S GROUP. WE HELD THESE PARTIES AT MY HOME EVERY YEAR AND EVERY YEAR THEY GREW. THEY WERE WONDERFUL!! THE GUYS ACTUALLY PUT IN A REGULATION VOLLEYBALL COURT IN MY BACK YARD AND IT WAS MAINTAINED ALL THROUGH GOOD WEATHER. THESE BIG PARTIES HAD A MINIMUM OF 125 PEOPLE. I HELD THESE FOR SEVERAL YEARS, AS IT JUST GOT TO BE TRADITION AND EVERY ONE KNEW HOW TO GET TO MY HOME!! MY BIRTHDAY IS ON MEMORIAL DAY!! AND, WE HAD A REGULAR MEMORIAL DAY BASH ON MY 50TH BIRTHDAY!! ONE CLUB'S GROUP ALL GOT TOGETHER AND DECORATED WHEELCHAIRS AND BROUGHT THEM. AFTER A BIT OF ENCOURAGEMENT, WINE COOLER FOR ME, SOME ONE SUGGESTED WE TAKE THE WHEELCHAIRS UP THE HILL BESIDE MY HOME AND RACE TWO BY TWO DOWN THE HILL. SOME ONE STOOD IN THE INTERSECTION AND WATCHED FOR ANY TRAFFIC APPROACHING AND WHEN IT WAS CLEAR THEY WOULD WAVE THE FLAG FOR NEXT TWO WHEELCHAIRS TO COME DOWN THE HILL. I DON'T KNOW HOW WE DID NOT HAVE MAJOR INJURIES, BUT WE DID NOT!! GRANNY LOU AND HER HUSBAND (HE HAS PASSED SINCE) SAW WHAT WE WERE DOING AND WERE THE FIRST TO BRING OUT THEIR LAWN CHAIRS AND CLEARED THE WAY FOR ALL THE NEIGHBORS TO LINE THE CURBSIDE TO WATCH!! ALL I COULD VISION WAS ME GETTING ARRESTED AS I HAD "CONTROL" OF THE PARTY!! GOD WAS TRULY WATCHING US OLD FARTS THAT DAY!!

ANOTHER GROUP BROUGHT DECORATED BIRTHDAY CAKES TO SERVE EVERY ONE!! AND, YES, YET ANOTHER GROUP BROUGHT THE OFFICIAL "OLD FART" GAG GIFTS!!

SOME OF THESE GUYS DID NOT CARE HOW MUCH MONEY THEY SPENT, IF WHAT THEY DID GOT THEM CENTER OF ATTENTION!! I HAD ACTUALLY WENT OUT TO DINNER SEVERAL TIMES WITH ONE PARTICULAR GUY!! I GOT THE TITLE OF THE "ICE QUEEN" AS I SURE DATED ALOT BACK IN MY SKINNY, BIG BUSTED AND BLONDE DAYS, BUT I DID NOT SLEEP AROUND!! THUS, THIS PARTICULAR GUY PRESENTED ME WITH AN ABSOLUTELY LOVELY WRAPPED GIFT. HE INSISTED I OPEN IT WHEN EVERY ONE WAS SITTING DOWN EATING SO ENTIRE CROWD WOULD BE NEAR. I FINALLY OPENED THIS LOVELY WRAPPED "THING" TO FIND IT WAS THE ABSOLUTELY MOST BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF RUBY RED GLASS I HAD EVER SEEN!! MY FIRST REACTION WAS "OH, THANK YOU, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS"!! WELL, AT THIS VERY SAME TIME, MY BLONDE ROOTS WERE GLOWING!! WITHIN ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS I REALIZED THIS LOVELY PIECE OF RUBY RED GLASS THAT I HAD JUST TOLD GOD AND EVERYONE "I TRULY LOVED IT" WAS A GENIUNE AND QUITE DETAILED "DILDO"!! I WAS ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED!! WELL, A FEW MORE BERRY WINE COOLERS AND IT WAS OKAY AND FORGOTTEN!! AFTER THAT BASH I HAD AN ENTIRE BOX OF "TOYS" THAT I HAD RECEIVED AS GAG GIFTS!! I ALWAYS INTENDED TO REGIFT THEM!!

OBVIOUSLY, THE REGIFTING NEVER HAPPENED!! I AM NOW ON PINS AND NEEDLES EVERY TIME WANDA BRINGS ME ANOTHER BOX WONDERING WHAT "SURPRISE" IT WILL HOLD!! TALK ABOUT A WHORE IN CHURCH!!

WELL, AS THE EVENING WENT ON, AS I ACTUALLY WAS LOOKING FOR MY KEWPIE DOLL THINGS, WANDA AND I DECIDED THAT THIS RUBY RED "THINGY" WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF IT SOME HOW ENDED UP IN EUNICE'S STOCKING CHRISTMAS MORNING!! WANDA IS CLEANING ONE EVENING A WEEK FOR EUNICE NOW. THUS, SHE SAID SHE WOULD TAKE THE "THINGY" HOME WITH HER AND TAKE IT TO EUNICE'S CHRISTMAS WEEK AND SLIP IT IN EUNICE'S STOCKING!! IT TRULY WILL BE A RIOT TO SEE EUNICE'S REACTION!!

HOWEVER, WANDA AND I HAD LOST TRACK OF THE TIME WHILE SEARCHING THROUGH THESE BOXES. IT WAS ABOUT MIDNIGHT BEFORE WANDA LEFT FOR HOME AND A VERY NASTY WEATHER NIGHT OUTSIDE. WANDA TOOK THE RUBY RED "THINGY" AND DECIDED TO KEEP IT HIDDEN IN HER CAR UNTIL CHRISTMAS WEEK.

WANDA MADE A HUGE MISTAKE AND PLACED THE "THINGY" IN ONE OF THE BOXES SHE WAS TAKING TO WORK TO GIVE HER SINGLE MOMS!! WANDA JUST TOOK THE BOXES INTO HER OFFICE AND TOLD THE MOMS TO EACH TAKE SOME THING FROM THE BOXES AND THEY DID. EACH MOM WOULD HOLD UP WHAT SHE HAD PICKED OUT!! BUT, EVENTUALLY THE RUBY RED "THINGY" SUDDENLY APPEARED FROM WHAT WANDA DESCRIBES AS "NO WHERE"!! WANDA'S ENTIRE IOWA WORK FORCE STAFF WAS WATCHING ALL THE FESTIVITIES!! WANDA IS THE OFFICE MANAGER!! WANDA HAD SOME REAL EXPLAINING TO DO, WHICH I HAVE HEARD WAS "NOT GOOD ENOUGH"!! WANDA SAID SHE WAS WAY BEYOND MORTIFIED!! I TOLD HER SHE COULD RELAX THE NEXT FIFTY YEARS OF HER LIFE AS SHE HAS TRULY HAD THE MOST EMBARASSING INCIDENT OF HER LIFE!!

WELL, THE RUBY RED "THINGY" WILL BE EXPOSING ITSELF NEXT AT EUNICE'S FIREPLACE CHRISTMAS STOCKING ON CHRISTMAS MORNING!! POOR MARION IS GOING TO BE IN T R O U B L E !!!! I GAVE EUNICE AND HER HUSBAND A BEAUTIFUL NEW DINING ROOM SET FOR CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR. "MAD MAX" HAD ARRANGED TO HAVE IT DELIVERED TO EUNICE'S HOME ON DEC. 23. "MAD MAX" ACTUALLY WENT OVER TO EUNICE'S HOME JUST BEFORE THE DELIVERY WAS TO ARRIVE AND ASKED HER TO GO OVER TO OUR HOME TO WATCH ME WHILE HE DID A CHRISTMAS ERRAND!! EUNICE'S HUSBAND HAD GIVEN "MAD MAX" KEYS TO THE HOUSE. EUNICE WAS AMAZED THAT "MAD MAX" WAS BACK SO QUICKLY!! MOST OF THE NEIGHBORS WERE ALL OUTSIDE WAITING TO HEAR EUNICE WHEN SHE WENT BACK HOME AND OPENED HER DOOR TO THIS BIG AND GRAND NEW DINING ROOM. HOWEVER, EUNICE HAD DECIDED TO STAY ON HERE AS WE WERE DOING SOME THING OR ANOTHER. "MAD MAX" FINALLY CAME UP WITH NEEDING TO BORROW A BANDAGE, IMMEDIATELY, SO EUNICE LEFT JUST TO RUN ACROSS THE STREET TO GET "MAD MAX" A BANDAGE AND SAID SHE WOULD BE RIGHT BACK. SHE OPENED HER DOOR AND LET OUT A SCREAM THAT WAS HEARD THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!

THUS, WHEN EUNICE CHECKS HER STOCKING ON CHRISTMAS MORNING, WANDA AND I ARE EXPECTING A VERY LOUD SCREAM, MOST PROBABLY DIRECTED AT HER HUSBAND OR WANDA AS SHE KNOWS I CAN NOT ACCESS HER HOME WITHOUT THREE PEOPLE ASSISTING ME!! I AM BLESSED AS I HAVE AN ALIBI!!

WELL, I AM OFF TO FIND ALL MY TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS THINGS!! I WAS TRULY BLESSED WITH A WONDERFUL PARTNER!! EVERY THING WAS EXACTLY FOR ME!!

I WON THE BATTLE, BUT LOST THE WAR IN MY "STITCHING SANCTUARY"!! I HAD JUST A FEW THINGS LEFT TO DO IN ORDER TO CALL IT PERFECT ABOUT A MONTH AGO!! BUT, WANDA AND I PULLED OUT THE THREE HUGE STORAGE BINS STACKED IN THE CLOSET FULL OF MY "BIG" KITS. THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF CHAOS!! I NOW WOULD LOVE TO HAVE IT DONE BY CHRISTMAS. MIPREZIOUS NEVER SAT IN MY "STITCHING SANCTUARY" WITH ME AS SHE "WAS" A "DADDY'S GIRL"!! HOWEVER, I BELIEVE SHE REALIZES AND UNDERSTANDS HE IS NOT COMING BACK AGAIN AT THIS POINT IN TIME. WE HAVE SUCH SEPARATION ANXIETY NOW IF I EVEN GO TO A QUICK APPOINTMENT!! SINCE SHE IS NOW SPENDING ALL DAY AND EVENING WITH ME I REALLY WANT THE CARPET CLEANED AND A PERMANENT "NEST" SET UP FOR HER ON THE FLOOR.

HAD AN INTERESTING DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT ON MONDAY!! WE WERE SIMPLY JUST CHATTING ABOUT HOW WELL I CAME OUT OF BOTH SURGERIES. HE SUDDENLY TELLS ME HE WAS "VERY WORRIED" ABOUT ME HAVING SURGERY AGAIN!! HE SAID HE HAD TO TELL HOSPITAL I WAS A "SPECIAL CASE" AS THIS LOCAL HOSPITAL HAS HIRED A "HOSPITALTICIAN"!! HE SAID THE LOCAL DOCTORS HAVE BEEN TOLD THEY MUST USE THIS "DOCTOR". THUS, IF YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL NOW, YOUR REGULAR DOCTOR WILL SEND YOU TO THE HOSPITAL. THE "HOSPITALTICIAN" WILL ADMIT YOU, TAKE CARE OF YOU THE ENTIRE TIME YOU ARE A PATIENT, AND DISCHARGE YOU WHEN HE THINKS YOU ARE DOING BETTER!! YOU THEN GO BACK TO YOUR REGULAR DOCTOR FOR RE-CHECK!! I SURE DO NOT LIKE THIS AND WILL SERIOUSLY CONSIDER BEING TRANSFERRED TO DAVENPORT, NEXT BIG TOWN SOUTH OF US 50 MILES!! BUT, I WAS A BIT UPSET WITH MY REGULAR DOC TELLING ME HE HAD SO MANY CONCERNS ABOUT MY ORAL SURGERY AFTER THE FACT!! I WAS ABOUT OVER THE EDGE WITH WORRY AND FRIGHT AT THE TIME. HOWEVER, THE SURGEON WAS VERY GOOD AND PUT ME AT EASE. I FINALLY JUST ASKED MY REGULAR DOC IF WE ALL WERE ON THE SAME PAGE NOW!! HE STARTED THAT BIG BELLY LAUGH THAT RARELY APPEARS FROM HIM. HIS ENTIRE OFFICE STAFF ALWAYS ASKS, "WHAT DID YOU DO OR WHAT DID YOU SAY THIS TIME"!!

PRESENTLY MY LEGS ARE NOT REALLY GOOD!! THE DOCTOR PREACHED HIS NEVER ENDING SERMON OF "I HAVE TO KEEP MY LEGS ELEVATED AT ALL TIMES"!! THE PAIN INCREASED A WHOLE LOT TODAY, SO I AM GOING TO STAY DOWN A BIT FOR NEXT FEW DAYS AND JUST STITCH. I AM HOPING TO HAVE EUNICE AND GRANNY LOU'S GIFTS FINISHED BY CHRISTMAS!! THE DOCTOR SAID HE WAS CONCERNED ABOUT MRSA RETURNING AS I HAD FOUR BOUTS OF IT LAST YEAR!! THREE WERE "HOSPITAL ACQUIRED" AND ONE WAS "COMMUNITY ACQUIRED". I WONDER WHAT MAKES IT EACH WAY!! THUS, I AM ON TWO ANTIBIOTICS AGAIN!!

OFF TO STITCH!!

LOVE AND HUGS!!

DEBORAH

AND

MIPREZIOUS, TOO!!