MONDAY, DECEMBER 01, 2008 - WHERE CAN I HIRE A HIT MAN?

Hello All Dearest Ones,

Just a quick need to vent, and then I will try to catch up a lot of loose ends in tomorrow's, Tuesday's, Blog!!

Max showed up at MY HOME again this morning ranting and raving as this was his day to pay his Support Alimony to me!! I some how have to go in to the Court system and get his check garnished and be done with having to deal with him in any way shape or form!!

I would have called the Police this morning, as I was in middle of sponge bath when he arrived unannounced!! He came in and began to rant and rave about "his imminent death"!! I have heard this too many times for too long of period!! Although, he does look very bad!! He looses a substantial amount of weight each time I see him. It is now to the point I DO NOT HAVE ANY DESIRE, OR WANT, TO SEE HIM!!

Max just decided to have MY cell phone cut off today without any previous warning!!
I have been paying the darn cell phone bill for both of our cell phones from the time he returned in my life, once again, in 2004 through this very day!! I was livid, but I acted like I could care less while he was here!!

I had to be at my oncologist for my melanoma recheck in a few hours after his "visit"!!
He completely un-nerved me and I immediately went into the "big ugly cry" when he left!! Eunice soon came over to take me down to the cell phone store, I-Wireless, before we had to get on the road for another 50 mile drive to oncologist.

This was just one of those days I needed downright sympathy, but all I got was extreme "coldness" out of Eunice!! I am sure she is as fed up about this situation as I am!! And, what she always tells me is absolutely the right thing to do and think, but today was one of those days I needed to talk him out of my system and have a good ole girlfriend cry!! It was extremely hard to just sit and keep every thing bottled up inside when all I wanted to do was explode!!

And, my dear, Wanda, arrived at 6:00 P.M. this evening!! And, I did begin yet another of the "big ugly cries", but at least she told me to let it all out and she gave me just the little bit of sympathy I did so badly need all day!! And, after I had my good cry, we both agreed that although I truly did not need to hear it earlier, that Eunice was, as always, absolute correct in what I had to do about Max!! And, Wanda immediately set to trying to first making me feel a bit better and then carrying out every thing that was needed to be done to prepare Max's extensive amount of things for the driveway!! I am sure even the local homeless mission would be more than glad to get all the very nice things that are sitting in all these massive boxes!!

We went immediately to the I-Wireless Phone Store!! This is where I really needed the HIT Man additionally!! I was met with Max was the primary name on the account and I could do nothing with the old account and this INCLUDED NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO KEEP MY OWN CELL PHONE NUMBER!!! Anyone, thinking about getting or has an I-Wireless Cell Phone better think twice!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND, to add insult to injury, I was going to have to pay a $175 DEPOSIT to create a new cell phone account!! AND, I was going to have to pay for a new ACTIVATION FEE again!! I was instantly livid and you don't even want to know what I told that Manager of that store!! I am writing corporate first thing this morning!! I can not believe their audacity!! They could go through, or I could produce, every single payment made to this cell phone company since 2004 and they were made by ME on MY OWN ACCOUNT because Max could not even get a bank account because of HIS previous history problems!! I can guarantee this email letter will burn a hole in some one's screen!!

So, the gloves came off!! Even though it is one of Max's dialysis days, I had called Max's voice mail and informed him that all the remaining, which is most, of his clothes and things, including a $3,000 bag full of custom golf clubs are being placed in MY driveway this morning at 7:00 A.M. and will be removed to Good Will at 7:00 P.M. this evening!! Wanda also called, and too got his voice mail, and reiterated, as well as witnessed my notification to him, that this was it!! Max somehow went to pharmacy and medical supply store a few weeks ago and picked up my morphine and my Huber needle kit!! I have no idea of what he was thinking of in doing this, unless he has also reverted to his old habit of using drugs along with his drinking, gambling and porno addictions!! It came down to the night before I HAD to have these supplies. Max had held them for EIGHT prior days!! I called his voice mail several times a day in an attempt to get these supplies as well as Eunice went down to the horrific end of this town to the scummy rooming house he occupies with five other AA and NA Group members (all using again also) in an attempt to retrieve these supplies. She only met with dog feces and garbage to her shins and several big barking dogs!! Thus, that evening, I had no choice, but to call the Police as he had picked these things up fraudulently and I had to have them for the next day. My oral surgery was the same week, and I could not afford to have this medication off schedule any whatsoever!!
The Police did come and talked with me. They said that "officially" they could not do any thing!!
I could not believe this!! I had neither asked or given Max to pick up these things and they are both very controlled medical supplies that should have been his being open for having them fraudulently as far as my thinking went!! However, the police officer informed me not, "as long as any of Mr. Markham's things are still in MY home"!! Okay!! We fixed that as of this day!!

I am going to immediately begin to take all the steps needed to change my name back to my maiden name of Jones!! I also am going to get an unlisted phone number here at my home!!

But, after 7:00 P.M. Tuesday evening, I will have met all the stipulations the Police have told me I had to meet in order to have legal action taken against "Mr. Markham"!!

And, with resuming my maiden name of "Jones" and by getting an unlisted home telephone it will make it impossible for me to be reached when he does finally get himself either rearrested or recommitted to yet another mental health institution!! And, I have no doubts it will happen very soon!! During the past thirty years, I can not even remember all the pre 8:00 a.m. telephone calls, I have received that are "Hello, Mrs. Markham. Do you have any connection to Lynn (Max) Markham? Would he have any previous substance abuse and/or mental problems"" And, like the dummy I used to be, I would be answering, "Yes, Yes, and Yes"!! BUT NO MORE!!

Now, I will try to regroup myself and begin my letter to I-Wireless!!

Oh, I rarely break down to the point of tears!! My voice may get to point of cracking, but very, very rarely tears!! And, upon seeing my oncologist, she immediately found an area right under my right eye that she said she was absolutely positive was pre-cancer!! She immediately sprayed, the "stuff" from the "thingy" that resembles a fire extinguisher on this area to freeze it in hopes it will simply blister and every thing will just flake away!! PRAISE THE LORD!! However, it was not a good day for all those tears to fall right on that darn area though!! Oh well, if that is the worse thing that happens to me, I can consider myself really lucky!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah
and
Miprezious, too!!

NOVEMBER 30, 2008 - ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS EVEN ONE TOOTH TO GNAW ON!!!

Hello All Dearest Ones,

Yes, you are looking at those bad boys and girls!! I truly wish I had left even just one of these left behind so I could possibly even gnaw!! Thanksgiving was great, and I did all right, but I sure wish I could have done a bit better.

I finally went into the hospital on November 20. It was very unclear about every thing, other than the teeth were coming out and that the doctors greatly preferred that I spend the night in the hospital, but then on was pretty well left up to me!!

My Surgeon was a complete dream doctor!! I only would ask why he did not choose to become a medical General Practitioner!! This Surgeon conferred with my regular doctors and determined travel was not good for me in any way, shape or form!! Thus, he volunteered to make the trip of 50 miles up to the local hospital here!! I would have gotten far better care going to Davenport, but the trip home could have been extraordinarily hard if I had a bad go of this!! The Surgeon telephoned me the night previous to my surgery to reassure me every thing would go fine!! Upon arriving at the hospital the following day this doctor was there before me and was first to greet me and show me to the "kennel" they had assigned me. The Anesthesiologist even had issues with these extra small cubicles!! He talked at length with my mother attempting to explain every thing to her. Eunice had brought her to the hospital with us. Mother does not stand too much any more, but she truly does not hear much any more and refuses to even discuss a hearing aid or any thing!! The Surgeon then exchanged pleasantries with Eunice as she really had no questions and then he pretty much sat and tried to calm my raw nerves. He rolled the bed into the Operating Room and held my hand all the way through until I was out!! He was also the first person I saw in the Recovery Room. He accompanied me up to the Medical Floor and told Eunice he would sit with us until he knew I was comfortable.

Comfort would not come in those first few moments upon them transferring me. The Surgeon decided he would do some thing, but get a nurse any too quick, simply does not happen in that hospital!! He then asked me if I was in discomfort and I said, "OH, YEAH!!!" He then went out to Nurse's Station himself and got the bolus of Morphine and put it in my Port. I got instant relief and that was it, as the nurses suddenly rushed in with the Morphine Pump and got it working and pumping regularly into me. The Surgeon did leave. My Mother was absolutely having a "melt down" and said she had "never seen me look worse after any of my other surgeries"!! Eunice finally took her home as Granny Lou had arrived and said she would stay for awhile until Eunice could return. Eunice was not gone long and returned set to stay as long as she felt she was needed!! I was told I immediately went into deep sleep and Eunice vowed to the staff she wanted me kept that way and unhooked the telephone even!! Eunice later told me she stayed till about 11:00 p.m.

I had a fairly good night!! The next morning my regular doctor arrived, at his usual rounds time just before 8:00 a.m. and actually woke me up. He asked how I was feeling and what did I want to do. I told him I probably would have been open to staying, but since I had been placed on the Medical Floor instead of the Surgical Floor I really thought I would be better off at home!! The Medical Floor at our local hospital is one of the very worse!! Thus, he explained my increased morphine amounts over my usual daily dosages and told me if this did not hold me that I could call him at any time and he would do some thing else!!

Thus, I called for Eunice. Eunice answered her phone barely!! I wondered if she was even awake, but it turned out she was quite ill again!! I told her I would just have to call upon some of my other friends, but she said "absolutely not"!! She told me to just get as ready to go home as I could and that some one would be there very soon to take me home!! In a very short time, Wanda appeared and said she was taking me home and that she intended to call in to her regular job that afternoon and say she was not coming back to her office, and that she would stay with me!! However, as soon as we got pulled into my driveway, Eunice came running across the street in her night gown and robe!! She insisted on helping me transfer and assisted me getting into the house. I thought it was way too cold for her to be even out. After we got in the house, Eunice insisted Wanda go back to work and she then resettled me in to my bed and she made a bed on my couch!! And, of course, my dearest little one was right there all hyper and stressed out wanting to see me immediately!! Thus, Eunice put little Miprezious up into my bed also. Mi and I talked and talked while cuddling a whole lot as she had quite a story to tell me!! I knew better and that she had been spoiled as much as possible by Marion and Granny Lou!!

And, YES, I came home with all the teeth I went in with!! I have yet to see any evidence of the TOOTH FAIRY arriving!! What is the secret of this one? LOL!! LOL!!

Well, I always vowed I would go to my grave with all my natural teeth!! Albeit they may now have to be in my pocket or perhaps even purse, but they will go with me!!

I had so wanted to get my "12 Days of Christmas" Exchange finished and shipped prior to going in to the hospital, but it just was not to be!! I had the most wonderful pattern made by our own "Vee". She is a good friend who is also a Designer and owns her own Design Company. I love her things!! And, she is the very best and most wonderful friend!! She designed a chart just for my Exchange Partner for me the very night Colin gave me the name of my Exchange Partner!! And, in my mail box the following morning was this wonderful chart!! I do not know if I have a decent picture to show of it or not!! I took pictures, but they were not very good!! The important thing was my stitched piece was phenominal!! It is so lovely, on the perfect fabric and included many beaded areas. Perhaps, my Exchange Partner can send me a much better picture. BUT, I had worked on this piece daily beginning like the Sunday after my surgery on Thursday!! I was not going to be late on this one!! Well, I worked all of Tuesday on trying to finish this piece as my second Flatfold!! The fabric for this was a perfect match to the piece. And, I worked non-stop on trying to make that flatfold. Kathy K. told me I had a step by step illustration of what I had done the first time right on my own Webshots!! I had not remembered this and I am sure she knew this!! Kathy is always so diplomatic in trying to tell me I messed something up!! I had a complete success going until the very end and WALLA - I put the stitched piece on upside down!! Now, Cynthia tells me just say it is the first and original of my own designed upside down flatfold. And, of course, Kathy tells me she would give any thing to have such a stitched piece from me as she is aware of how long it takes me with all my disabilities now to complete any piece!! Well, this is surely overdue to her!! But, unfortunately, I did not have Kathy K. or Cynthia for my exchange partner. I am not sure, at all, if my Exhange Partner is going to feel so "special"!! But, I simply had to send it on as I had no choice at that late date!!

Presently, I am working on getting out all the spoken for "STASH TO GO"!! I am also stitching like crazy on an Erica Michaels piece called "A Good Neighbor Is Found Treasure"!! I need to make two of these for Granny Lou and Eunice for Christmas, I HOPE!! I truly would like to make duplicates, minus the original new upside down-ness, for Eunice, Marion and Granny Lou, but I think I am WAY out of my present realm for right now!! However, after working only last night and today and tonight, I am very well on my way of nearly finishing my first one!!

Unfortunately, tomorrow is my day for another re-check of my melonoma status. And, as usual, this requires yet another trip to Davenport, which is 50 miles away!!

But, going to Davenport, also means getting access to all the GOOD food!! Eunice and I had to go back to Davenport this past Friday to have my surgery rechecked. The Surgeon said he thought I could begin to increase my food intake a bit!! I just sat and truly prayed for Eunice's mouth not to move in any way other that verbalizing only "Goodbye and Thank You"!! I truly can not complain I went hungry. Eunice was quite ill, but her only worry was passing a nasty bronchial cold/sore throat thing on to me. Thus, upon bringing me home she had made a great pot of home made chicken noodle soup and cherry jello!! We had also gotten cottage cheese on the advice of Kathy K. That is pretty much what I existed on through Sunday. I was getting quite hungry by Monday morning.

Eunice and I got drafted into the Benevolent Society's 622 Thanksgiving FoodBasket distribution on Monday morning. I really did not know if I could do it or not!! But, I did!! After we had put in our shift there, Eunice wanted to know if I could try to eat scrambled eggs or some thing quite soft at the Village Inn. We were to meet Marion there. I said, "why not"!! And, so away we went. She ordered scrambled eggs for me and they came with wonderful crisp hash browns and pancakes!! I ate the whole thing!!

Oh, and I must mention, I was not overly excited about the holidays at all. Thanksgiving really kind of sneaked up on me with my surgery and all. On Wednesday evening, Eunice called over and asked me what I was doing. Well, I was waiting on one of the gals from the salon to come and comb my hair was it for the evening!! So, Eunice then asked if I would like to come over and keep her company as she had hours and hours of cooking to put in that night!! Well, I still can not see skin color, but I must admit to experiencing many black cultural things, all of which have been very good things for me, since becoming such close friends to Eunice and her husband, Marion and having such good relationships with my Caregivers, most of whom just happen to be black!! And, Eunice's Thanksgiving plans were quite much of a black cultural thing in the way she was preparing many things, so I knew I could learn a lot. I just wondered how in the world she thought her and I could get me up her 25 steps that comprise her entry up her home front very much on the hill of hills in this neighborhood!! As it turned out, the gal who came to comb my hair volunteered to help!! Thus, they wheeled me over to the base of the steps and took my wheelchair to the first of three landings on the way UP!! Then, they each took a side and I went for it. It truly went very easily and very well!! I truly feel I am going to be walking on my own by this coming Spring. I think I will set Easter as my true "coming out or coming back or whatever"!! I was thoroughly exhausted as were my "helpers", but we did it so I had to rest a bit initially!! However, soon I was diving right into doing whatever Eunice assigned me from my sitting position on her island bar in her kitchen. It was wonderful, as I finally got to actually see Eunice's home and how wonderful the new dining room set I gave her last year looked in her dining room also!! And, I baked my first sweet potato pies. Learned there is real macaroni and cheese and it is not all Kraft!! Had the most awesome, kick butt, deviled eggs made with several things I never heard of before that included Maraschino Cherry Juice!! I made four pans of corn bread the previous evening in my own home for her. Marion had picked them up and they were all such perfect and golden brown squares!! And, this night, I got to pick them up and totally smash them so they could be made into Eunice's famous cornbread stuffing. Well, the cornbread did not really bother me, but when Eunice suddenly dumped a bunch of black slimmy looking things into it when she thought I was not looking it was the deal breaker!! Oysters!! I changed the name from cornbread stuffing to rotted gut stuffing immediately and decided from that moment on I would make my own sage and onion dressing and bring it along the next day. And, I helped and saw the special way of cooking sweet potatoes was done and how it was specially seasoned that no one is supposed to know!! Again, I thought, going to try out those Ore'Ida Microwave Steamed Mashed Potatoes that have been staring at me from my freezer. Eunice took those potatoes home when she and Marion returned me home about midnight!! We also backed banana pudding and several other things that I just can not think of now besides a big turkey and ham!!

I had pretty much decided that this Thanksgiving was meant to be just another day for me although I had so much to be thankful for this past year!! However, Eunice and Marion would not hear of this and ordered that I get ready to go to their home all of Thanksgiving. Eunice has four Schnassuers ( I know I slaughtered spelling) DOGS!! I turned out to be very allergic of these dogs that caused extreme stuffiness for me. However, Eunice's oldest daughter is very allergic and suffers to point of complete asthma attack!! Eunice's grown children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were all very much encouraged to come home for Thanksgiving together this year. This was the very first time Eunice had accepted, and decided she could, have them all together since the death of her thirty-seven year old son a little over two years ago. And, amazingly all of them did show up. They just kept coming and coming and coming!!

I thought the odds there were not real good considering Eunice had only one extra bedroom, sofa and den had one sofa and additionally considering only ONE toilet and shower!! I really thought this was a special time for them to have gotten all together again, but Eunice ordered her "boys" to come for me and not to let me walk as I had exhausted myself the night before. Well, I finally said "Yes", but only if we did the steps again the same as night before. We kind of did, except the boys just kind of picked me up each step!! I was delighted in finally meeting all her family and they were all so very, very nice!! In fact, the oldest daughter that suffered so from the dogs (which guests had brought two or three additional ones along also) quickly accepted my offer of my "That Room" as Wanda had prepared it for occupancy when I went into the hospital as she thought it would surely be used!! It was such a delight to have someone here in the home again!!

Another cute thing!! I did make up a sage and onion dressing as a side dish as I did not have a bird to use. I simply made it up in an 8" dish. It turned out a bit too crispy for my "gumming", but was put out on buffet. I heard one of the kids answer someone's "what is this" with "Bread Pudding"!! I thought "oh, good answer"!! And, as each person went through the buffet line the message was carried back of "Bread Pudding"!! After every one had ate all they had planned to for that round, I asked "Okay, whose dressing got ate the most"? My "Sage and Onion Dressing" was gone!! Naturally, Eunice's Cornbread Dressing started out with more, but the dish was not nearly empty!! And, then some one said, "No, that was Bread Pudding"!!

Eunice laughed and laughed and laughed!! I just told her that "I was a quick learner"!!

I truly am NOT looking forward to the Christmas holidays whatsoever!! I do imagine my mother will put in a brief appearance, but willl have to be home before dark. Eunice and Marion always go into Chicago for the Christmas holidays!! Granny Lou has a standing room only crowd sometimes or else no one. I have no idea what it will be this year. But, I simply am not decorating or planning too much this year. Too many changes!! If, I can just finally finish my main "Stitching Sanctuary" I will be absolutely thrilled to simply camp out in it for the holiday and just hope it passes quickly, which always happens when I can stitch!!

And, I was quite thankful this Thanksgiving!! I am so very, very happy that I finally had the determination and follow-through to tell Max he had to leave MY HOME!! It was a long time coming!! We will have thirty years in December 21 and it seems like they were all in vain!! But, if I had not gotten the strength to just finally tell him to leave, I can only take a wild guess as to the condition I would be in by now. Max simply wanted me to be a bedridden invalid so he could finally control me!! I thank the good Lord daily that I did get that strength to tell him to leave and I truly thank him for giving me the strength to try and be an independent adult again. I have come so far since July 16!! I pretty much was completely bedridden the past six or seven years simply so Max could control me. I can see so very much now in hindsight which is of little value except to point out things I will never let happen to me again!! I am doing so very well after a very rough and rocky year and I am ever so grateful!!

It is clear that Miprezious and I are going to be absolutely okay!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

and

Miprezious, too!!

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2008 - I GOT A SURPRISE!!

Hello My Dear Ones,

I had a real pleasant surprise today!! This sure took my mind off "the countdown"!!

I got a totally awesome and wonderful Bourse and Fob from dear XSGranny Rene!!

I absolutely love it!! It will surely be on my most cherished shelf!! Thank you so very much Rene!! This is the picture above for you all to see!!

Oh, this reminds me, I got a fantastic RAK from Kathy K. also that I have not yet pictured on here!! I will definitely make a note to do this ASAP!! Kathy sent a truly awesome and beautiful Halloween Fob several days ago!! Thank you so much Kathy!!

I must keep this update short!! One, I don't really have much to update on and Two, I have to spend every moment I can beg, borrow or steal on my "12 Days of Christmas" Exchange stitched piece!! I am very close to being finished with the actual stitching, but I need to "finish" it to complete it. This could prove to be a real challenge to me!!

All of my "STASH TO GO" has been finally posted!! It goes without saying that I do not think I will be able to do too much as far as getting it out before my hospitalization and surgery!! It will be top on my list to do when I get going again though. I truly want to "finally" get my "Stitching Sanctuary" completely done!! I have discovered I need to do the big closet space in this room before I can truly call it done. I have about 200 big kits in two very, very large plastic tubs in this closet space and they are overflowing mega lot!! I want this all clean, organized and sorted out!!

I plan on continuing my quest to rid every thing in MY HOME of "Mad Max"!! I have a foyer and it's closet, large built in shelves and drawers in connecting hall, bathroom and, unfortunately, "THAT Room" that is going to be turned into my new "Stitching Sanctuary" this winter according to Eunice and Wanda to finish yet!! The kitchen's carpet is clean and that room is absolutely PERFECTION!! Soon I will have MY HOME and all is going to be fine!! I then intend to stitch, stitch, stitch and stitch some more then!!

Please continue the good vibrations and prayers for my nerves to calm down and that I can fly through Thursday's surgery even better than I did the surgery in September!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

and

Miprezious, too!!

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2008

Hello All Dearest Ones,

The early bird catches the worm!! My most devote followers of my Blog have seen the 185 iteems I have posted on my Webshots album!! I do not know what will really be left, but I will open it up to the entire Group after my surgery and when all the first round things have been sent out!!

I have two way larger than I can lift tubs of full sized kits. There are probably close to 200 of them!! This will be the next spot I hit!! Then, I will be going in to "That Room", that Eunice and Wanda have vowed to move my "Stitching Sanctuary" into this winter, and I will be going through about 300 small kits and a five shelf bookcase of nothing but older charts from before my accident time!! I think I will again handle them each in the same manner as I did this "STASH TO GO"!!

I sure am getting a bit more nervous, if that is truly possible to do, about my surgery on Thursday!! I am well covered with many prayers and good vibrations!! I sincerely hope you all really say special prayers at about noon till 3:00 p.m. ish!! I just have to some how get a hold of my self so I can concentrate on letting my pain medications work!! As soon as I feel confident that my pain is under control I can be discharged from the hospital. Eunice took Miprezious to the Groomer today. Eunice was a bit late, so instead of the usual hour, the groomer said she would have to keep Mi for a few hours to work her in between other dogs!! I was not happy, but I could not have done better!! The groomer's husband is very near end of his battle with brain cancer!! The groomer is cutting to half days through the holidays and then she is not sure what will happen. For the past few months, she has slightly "razor burned" Mi!! It was bad enough it really upset me, but today was absolutely a crime!! Poor little Mi is burned all the way down her stomach and her private parts!! I am absolutely PISSED OFF!! LIVIDLY PISSED OFF!!
Consequently, it is going to be harder than ever for me to leave the little one!! I have been applying corn starch to her as often as she lets me know it needs redoing. The little sweetie had soft little cries all the way home and after!! Initially, I thought this was just her upset that Eunice had taken her without Mommy. However, late afternoon Wanda arrived and for some reason Mi went right to her and rolled over to show her!! Now, I really do not want to leave my little darling, as no one will keep applying the corn starch like Mommy!! Consequently, I will be wanting to come home immediately for her!! I realize I just can not do so until I am sure I have reached adequate pain control levels as I will be no good to either Mi or my self if I am in more pain than usual!!

I really have to hit my "12 Days of Christmas" Exchange hard the next 24-36 hours!! I would love to have it all complete and shipped out before I leave for the hospital ideally. However, I do have Plan B in the works with Wanda able to handle it for me if necessary!!

Thus, I do not know if it will be possible to get postage rates and envelopes readied before I go in to the hospital. I will try though!! If not, it will be first on top of my list of "To Do" List when I get home again!!

Well, I did finish all 185 items on Webshots!! Enjoy!! And, I hope every one will be able to get every thing they wanted!! Thanks for replies!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah
and
Miprezious, too!!

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2008 - COUNT DOWN TO OVER IT!!

Hello All Dearest Ones,

Well, the final count down is ticking away!! On Thursday, November 20, I am hoping and praying that I will undergo my last surgery of my life time!! Good Grief!! There is little else they could possibly figure out to do!!

I should have realized long ago, that having to have my tonsils and adnoids out twice as a child that I was predestined for multiple surgeries!! And, this past September, marked the second time my bowel was resected!! And, looking back, I have had countless numbers of surgeries for my mylenoma cancer. There was the large tumor in my left cheek bone and the reconstructive surgery for it!! And, then we went into the gallbladder rupturing before surgery could be performed and I was on operating table a bit over six hours and I had to spend 40 days in the hospital!! And, then there was the massive fibroid tumor and malignancy of my ovaries that resulted in a complete hysterectomy.

And, then in 2000, more of the evasive gall stones showed up, and they had taken up residence in my liver duct!! I had been on my feet all day taking care of Patty as this was the day she entered the hospital for a quick D & C. This soon escalated into a full adominal hysterectomy which was abruptly stopped when it was discovered she had massive cancer!! Her surgery was stopped to try and get her enough strength to be taken to the University of Iowa Oncology Unit in an attempt to remove the cancer. I had promised to stay with her for that "same day surgery" until she could be discharged and would recuperate at my home!! Well, that plan went down the toilet real quickly!! About midnight, the pains I had been having all that day just literally took my breath while helping Patty up to bathroom again. This bout of pains took me right to the hospital floor my self!! I was promptly picked up and taken down to the Emergency Room where the on call doctor diagnosed me as having "sympathy pains" for my dear friend, Patty!! He admitted me and had me placed in the other bed in Patty's room!! A few hours later, Patty was at my bedside as I was being rushed to emergency surgery to unblock my liver. I was one sick puppy!! Patty was taken to Iowa City, examined and treatment began. Yet, Patty was back at my bedside before I was discharged from the local hospital!! It was fast going into the holiday season and the many holiday balls we went to back then. Both of us had decided there was no way we were either going to miss the big Holiday Ball we both looked forward to each year!! And, the big Holiday Ball was the first time either of us ventured out!! I can remember so well how both our dates were so skeptical of taking us any where as we both walked kind of stooped over. But, we both danced almost every dance of the night!! Then, right after the New Year's Eve Ball we both had to go back into the hospital again!! Patty went back to University Hospital for her hysterectomy and I went back in locally to have the stints placed in my liver removed. After this, things went pretty well until the first bowel resection.

NOW, I have to go into the hospital on Thursday to have all the bits and pieces that used to be my teeth removed!! My RSD illness coupled with the many medications I must take for any quality of life have been taking a major toll on my entire body, however, they really took out my teeth. A few months ago, my teeth began disinigrating and all had crumbled within a ten day period!! I made arrangements in July to have my teeth removed, however, my stomach had other ideas. Thus, in September, I was taken in to the hospital for emergency surgery, however, it was for another bowel resection!!

In between all these surgeries, it finally became very apparent that I needed a port catherer placed in my chest for IV access!! I went into the local hospital to have this Port placed in my chest and ended up with the dumest anesthesiologist on this earth. I came to right as the surgery began!! I really had night terrors for months over this!! You always hear of such tales and think they are just that "tales"!! But, they definitely are NOT!! I can only remember the Surgeon just becoming instantly lividly mad!! The Surgeon ordered every thing stop and he had a nurse making transfer arrangements to Davenport, 50 miles south of us, even before I was taken from the Operating Room!! I was taken down to Genesis Hospital and taken back into surgery and the Port was quite successfully and easily placed!! What an ordeal!!

So, Thursday is D-Day for my teeth and mouth. The Oral Surgeon has been a real nice man!! He volunteered to make the 50 mile drive north to Clinton and perform the surgery locally so I could be near my home and friends!! This Surgeon thought it would be easier on me to not have to travel my self and to be close to home as he would like to see me stay in the hospital for a few days!! The plan is to take out all my teeth and then reduce four bones in my upper gums.
I have never been such a big chicken in my life!! I have been waking up with night terrors of this surgery and recuperation. My local General Practitioner is to take over my care after the surgery. The Oral Surgeon was concerned about many things and very cautiously started to ask about the possibility of my going into the hospital and be put completely out!! I told him that it was absolutely NO problem as I was not going to have it done any other way!! I definitely want to be put out for this operation and I want to stay put out for about two weeks!! I do not think or can remember being so apprehensive and upset about any surgery as I am about this one. However, most of my surgeries were all emergencies and I had little time to think about any thing!!

And, my most significant surgery, was one of the very first for nasal polyps. It was up at Dubuque Finley Hospital. I know it was one of first and I feared it like nothing else in my life!! I had a very nice Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist for a doctor and surgeon. At one point, he bargained with me to get me to consent to this procedure. I had been admiring one of his staff's beautiful earrings. She informed me they only came in pierced version. I was telling her how badly I wanted my ears pierced, but was way too CHICKEN to do so!! The doctor overheard us talking, and he presented bargaining of his piercing my ears while out with anesthesia if I allowed the much needed polyp surgery to take place. Well, now he was talking some thing I could understand and I sure signed on that dotted line real quickly!!

And, I am looking at this present surgery's pay off also!! I have requested all my teeth, or pieces of them, be returned to me after this surgery! The pre-op nurse is quite upset by such a request, however, my anesthesiologist assured me that even in spite of her he was assuring me the full return of all my teeth after the surgery is completed!! "WHY"? "What possible reason do you have for them"? was the reaction I got from the pre-op nurse!! Well, last I knew one tooth was worth at least $1 from the tooth fairy!! I think they said 26 teeth would be coming out and that is quite a nice little sum to haul!! And, I further told her that I always vowed to go to my grave with my own teeth!! Well, albeit in my pocket, but my teeth are going to my grave with me!!

I have been stitching all along, but afraid this has to be a secret!! It is appearing to be one of my very best projects ever, but it is also my "12 Days of Christmas" Exchange stitched piece so it has to be a secret for a bit yet!! Just wish me luck on finishing of this piece!!

I am hoping to get a whole lot of stitching done while down recuperating from this new surgery!! I am being assured from my General Practitioner, that he will make sure I have whatever morphine levels I need to attain complete pain control and I am going to keep him at that promise!! I can do any thing, if I don't have to deal with pain!!

Well, my STASH TO GO has had tremendous response!! I am so glad these pieces are going to good homes!! I have posted some 115 pieces thus far and I have a total of 185 ready from this clearing. I have two more large clearings after this one. I wanted to get this one out of the way if at all possible as soon as possible!!

Well, ladies and gents, please keep me close in good vibrations and prayers all week, but especially Thursday!! Thursday morning that I get out of this home, Thursday afternoon as my Surgeon begins my procedure at 1:00 p.m. and Thursday evening, that I will be as good as can be and missing my little Miprezious and will want to come home first thing in the morning!! And, pray that little Miprezious does not chew through the rest of my entry door in the kitchen and that she does not have too bad of separation anxiety problems this time!!

And, what do you think my chances of going for the second hole for earrings this time? I really have always wanted permanent diamond studs in a second hole!!

Love and Hugs,
Deborah
and
Miprezious, too!!

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2008 - RESPONSES!!

Hello Dearest Ones,

I had a wonderful, wonderful Friday and today, Saturday, appears to to be a great day also!! It is VERY cold and frigid outside!! But, it is not likely any one is willing to take me out in this any way!

I am a bit calmer today, but then I was awake all night by one tooth that does just throb!! By Thursday, I will be ready to get rid of each and every one of them!!

I have had dozens and dozens of responses wanting my "STASH TO GO"!! This is good as it is a few less boxes to trip me and cause me to fall!!

I was able to stitch last night, but it is for an exchange that I can't talk about yet!!

Well, I am off to prepare some envelopes for mailing, piddle around the home perfecting this and that and I need an exchange finish soon so I need to get those needles smoking!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah
and
Miprezious, too!!

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2008 - I AM WOMAN, A VERY STRONG WOMAN!!!

HELLO ALL MY DEAREST ONES!!





Well, it appears that my Blog photographs and I are not getting along any better today!! Well, let me describe them so you can see them when they are mentioned in the Blog. One is a single TEA CUP and another is two TEAPOTS!! And, then the darker ones, is my new passion of decorating with TWIGS WITH LIGHTS, which is newest and hotest trend out in decorating magazines and decorators!! I finally go my and love them!! And, the other pictures are of my all so coveted and wanted PINK PRINCESS STYLE TELEPHONE!!

Today was my last, at least I hope, visits for pre-operation details!! Eunice was ready to scold me as I had a bunch of four letter words to say today!! My blood pressure has been totally out of whack all week, as my dear doctor continues to point out!! And, I have been IRRITATED to the very core all week by Max!!

MAX has gotten so desperate for things to do to make Deborah irritated that he finally went to my Medical Supply Store and picked up my monthly allotment of Huber needles needed for my port!! This would have irritated me, but IF he would have brought them to me it would have been fine and okay!! BUT, HE DID NOT!! These needles can not be replaced by any means each month as they are part of the FDA contract covering my medical needs!! The FDA contract has many quirks, such as you get one prescription each month and that is it, NO exceptions!! It does protect me with the amount of morphine and equipment needed to be okayed and protects the doctor in prescribing such amounts!! Thus, one shot at needles!! Max, in his all out wisdom elected to hold my needles hostage for EIGHT DAYS!!

Very simply, after a day of some additonal exasperation at the hospital I blew!! These needles are very important!! I needed very badly to have my port flushed on Monday during my doctor's appointment for pre-op evaluation!! Tomorrow would have pushed all limits!! The night Max choose to hit me he landed his punch right where my port is located. Max knows how all important this port is to my general well being!! If it is damaged, it has to be replaced!! This thought terrorizes me as some of you may remember that I came to from the anesthesia almost immediately after the start of the surgery and terrorized does not describe this scene!! My Surgeon immediately stopped the surgery and had me transferred to Davenport Genesis Hospital to have it completed, which was a 50 mile ambulance ride!! I think Max would like to have to make me go out of town and see what I shall do with out him!! Rejoice and be glad is what I would do!! But, I don't really want to have this if it can be delayed as long as possible!!

Thus, after supper tonight, Eunice asked what I intended to do!! And, I just told her watch me!!

I went to the telephone and I dialed the local police station. I told the Dispatcher my dilemma and she told me she would dispatch a squad to my home!! Within a few minutes this squad and it's officers arrived!! They told me that since Max has not removed all of his things from MY HOME that there was really little they could do!! They told me they would take a chance this evening and would see if they could help me!! They asked where Max was and I told them he was more than likely down putting on his facade at the local AA meeting and that is just where he was!! The Police Officer asked for his cell phone number. I readily gave it to them, but with the call coming from here I told them it was doubtful if he would answer as he has not the last eight days for me!! One of the Police Officers telephoned Max at the AA Meeting while the other dispatched a closer car to the AA Center and had those officers go in and tell Max he was to leave for MY HOME with their escort immediately as the Officer on the phone was telling Max. Oh, was he lividly P/Oed and ranting and raving!! First Officers brought him in here and he threw the needles!! Other Officers asked why Max had not taken the time to remove the rest of his things from MY HOME!! Max, of course, went with his dialysis plea!! The Officers asked how he could "go exert himself at the local casino for so many hours each day, spending in excess of $3,500 this month alone and dialysis did not seem to bother him"!!!! Gotcha Again Max!!!

Police Officers gave him till 6:00 P.M. tomorrow night to get his last things from here!! Well, he had surgery tomorrow and he could not do any thing!! So, they immediately asked when he could do it? Well, he did not know as he would have to find someone to do it!! I said, "Hey, my Caretaker did not have any trouble, and she is a woman, taking it all down to the basement in about a hour Max"!!! Police Officers told Max I would be deciding on a date and time and that would be it, that he either take his things or Good Will!! Hurray for our local Police Officers!!!!

Max continues to think and vainly try to "bully" me!! I am no longer afraid to let him have it right back!! He continues to owe my mother $500, but with his casino daily habit he can not quite see his way to paying her any thing, even a small payment!! And, Max is in to his eye balls with THREE different "Pay Day Loan Companys"!! I did telll the Police Officers how he went to these Pay Day Loan companies and put down the man's address and telephone number who was kind enough to give him shelter when I told him he had to leave!!! Max has sunk to all out bottom of the barrel scum and I truly do not know him any more!!

In 1999, when Max went off of his anti-psychotic drugs and his bi-polar took over he took on the very personna of a CIA AGENT working for the FBI!! How ridiculous!! And, he went about his missions, in his best three piece suits, and he got away with it all until he went about 90 miles west of us to Cedar Rapids and tried to board several planes just because he was Agent Markham and this Agent did not need a proper airline ticket!! And, he was good, as no one notified authorities until he was on his sixth attempt at boarding airlines!! Once again, I got the pre 8:00 a.m. telephone call, "Hello Mrs. Markham (that would be Ms. Jones now) are you married to Max Markham? Regretably for a bit yet!! Does he have any prior history of mental problems or substance abuse? Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, that is affirmative to all things!!

So, tonight he comes from the AA Meeting in full fatigues greens!! OMG!! I bet I am really married to the original G.I. Joe now and do not even know it, or else surely a full Colonel by now!! Wow, I shopped at Good Will today and to think I could have went to Arsenal PX!!

So, much for Max and hopefully so for a very long, long time with the police although he was not under arrest!!

And, for the rest of my day!! Eunice came to take me to the hospital for the pre-op process!! They take care of every thing now and the day of Surgery you just go and sit in a waiting room until they come for you!! Oh Boy!! They have gone high tech since getting their bedside laptop computers!! We will be more than a one-horse town any day now!!

The Nurse we drew is a "B"!! Sorry, I would like to say something nice about her, but from year's standing she is a "B"!! Well, she starts out that for my 1:00 P.M. surgery I would need to be there at 11:30 a.m.!! I told her that their Same Day Surgery Rooms could be compared with kennels and I have seen them larger!! I tell you there is not room for two nurses, the patient and their spouse in that little cubicle!! I told her flat out, that I get very claustrophobic and that I was not coming over there to sit in that "Cage" for 90 minutes as there was absolutely NO need for it!! And, she says well you need to have IVs started!! And, I told her I thought NOT as I have a fully operational Port and they would be using it!! And, this "B" says that NO ONE goes into their Operating Rooms without an IV attached!! So, I just raised my voice one more octave than her's and told her they must have just resected by bowel in the ambulance garage just in September as I did NOT have any IVS the entire ten days!! Well, was she insulted!! And, she says what was the big deal with the IV? And, I told her that if they even had ONE nurse in their entire system who knew how to start them I guess nothing, but thus far I had never seen one!!

Well, she would have to call the Surgery's Nurses Station!! It just honks me off, that they are playing this game, as it is cut and dried that I am going to stay in that "hellhole" until I am able to handle the aftermath by myself at home which may take three to five days and possibly longer!! Why can they not just put me in a private room on the Surgical floor!!!! Well, the Same Day Nurses Station told this "B" she would have to call in the anesthesiast on call and see what he had to say on their practices!! Dah, they don't see it every day here!! This is comforting and I point it out to the "B"!! So, a rather young and extremely nice anthesiast came down and in to see us!! He explained every thing to me and I liked him quite well. He then asked if I wanted him to take care of me and I told him, "Yes, I would like that"!! He tried to take over, however the "B" just would not let him!! She kept getting up and running to one phone after another calling someone else about me and got very little answers!! Eunice kept saying, "Good Grief, just let the anesthiesalogist take over and tell us the facts as he does them"!! First, he told me there was no reason for me to be there 90 minutes before "show time"!! He told me 11:30-11:45 a.m. would be just fine!! Then, he asked about the damn IV again!! I told him I had a port and that I took great pains in making sure it was flushes every 3-4 weeks whether we used it or not!! He asked why I had the port and I told him as I did not have any veins!! He looked at the "B" and said write that down!! And, he told me, to rest easy as no one would be starting an additional IV and that my port would be used for every thing as it had been for my surgery in September!! And, then the "B" said some thing to the effect of keeping me "unaware long enough" and I told her I would be out "cold" "blackened" "no being awake whatsoever" and I could see the anesthesiaologist begin to say "spinal" and I shut him off also!! I told them that my doctor had promised me I would be completely out!! And, the "B" says, "Oh, you just want your mouth deadened, that is all" and I just came unglued!! I told her I wanted to be out COLD as my doctor had promised and that was that!! She then gave me a perfect opening to bring up my surgery in 2005 where the anesthesiaologist was an idiot and I awoke right after the surgery had began"!! Oh, now she remembered!! Aw, I bet she did!! Thus, the anesthesiaologist took over again!! He started trying to talk me into a "spinal" and I told him to watch my lips and I said NO WAY IN HELL!! I WANT TO BE, AND WAS PROMISED TO BE, OUT COLD!!! He finally said, Okay, he got the picture!! Then the "B" began to question my staying in the hospital. I just also reared right up again, although Eunice tried to rub my shoulder and bring me down and I told her this was NOT her decision and to butt out!! The anesthesiaist had been looking at my record, and he told her that I had been on life support with heart failure and kidney failure and that he would be questioning if the doctors had not wanted me to stay in the hospital!!

I did see my local General Practitioner on Monday!! He assured me he was taking over my local care and that I was welcome to stay in the hospital as long as the insurance companies would allow!! Although, he presented me with another plan of his. He said, quite frankly, he was fed up with the hysteria of people's opinions about increasing my morphine dosages!! He said he could increase it substantially, and was more than willing to do this, so that I would have adequate pain control without having to have morphine pump attached to my port!! He said he would then be more than willing to again monitor me from my home!! So, he said it was totally up to how I felt as to what happens as far as my having to stay in the hospital!! This was so all reassuring to me!! I do not want Miprezious to have to go through another bout of separation anxiety as it is really too hard on that little bundle of joy!!

And, now for the conclusion!! I told this "B" that I wanted all my teeth!! She said "WHAT!!"" I wanted all my teeth!! Oh, well, gee, dah, um, ah, IIIIIIIIeeeee, nothing!! And, then she wanted to know "why in the world I wanted them"!! I then told her that I was looking to make the "big haul from the tooth fairy with that bunch of teeth"!! The Anesthesiologist has a GOOD humor!!

Even Eunice was laughing!! Then, I said, seriously, I have always vowed to leave this earth with my own teeth!! Okay, perhaps these will be in a pocket, but they will be going!! Anesthesiaolgist is rolling all but on the floor and the "B" is getting more P?oed!! Any bets my next Blog contains a picture of my teeth?!?!!!!

I truly am so very distraught and upset with every thing presently!! I need to find my serenity and peace very soon!! I do not want to go into this surgery with any negatives or hostillities in me!! I predict it will take some serious stitching going in to it and coming out of it!! I plan to have my stitching bag packed!! Oh, that was another thing with the "B"!! She kept repeating to me to bring my own tooth paste and tooth brush in an overnight bag!! Eunice kept telling her she thought this was the first of many times, that I was truly in no need of toothbrush and toothpaste!! She still did not get it!!

Well, Max has been trying to stick me with a large cell phone bill each month!! Eunice wants our cell phone companies to be compatible with hers!! She calls me the most on mine and vice versa!! So, we went cell phone shopping and when we find one, I am cancelling the "old" cell phones on the spot!! I guess it looks like I am coming into new age of camera and possibly computer on my cell phone!! I've never even text messaged or received one and certainly do not know how to!! I am still confused enough with my computer!! We went to several cell phone companies, however, it appears my I Wireless is the very best of best price out there!! Decisions, decisions, decisions,!!

Then, Eunice and I left the last cell phone store front and what do we see, but the big Good Will Thrift Store! I have never been able to really go in and see it. Eunice got me and settled very well in wheelchair so t b hat I could dangle me feet and toddle along where I wanted to. We had a blast!! And, we stayed in that store for over two hours!! I found one bargain after another!! I bought my long sought after and coveted PINK PRINCESS PHONE and for only $3.38!! There were two young men working the floor and I had a real good time with them. They loved the compliments and the more I gave the better prices our items received!! Eunice could not believe me!! Then, I found two regular teapots, one mini tea pot and a tea pot that is a candle holder. I also forgot to post over the weekend also of the great find that Wanda had made at this Good Will Store of a whole bag of stitching kits!! They were a very good find. It is wonderful to have Wanda aware of the type of stitching I am doing so she is able to pick these kind of things up for me as she spends many a lunch hour in the Good Will Store!!

And, lastly my long awaited LIGHTED TWIGS arrived this week!! I am really looking for a vase now to put them in!! Eunice actually loved them!! I am thinking on ordering another set for her for Christmas!! She is the very hardest person ever to buy for.

And, my kitchen finally got finished right down to the carpet cleaning!! It turned out really good!! Would love to try and get my Stitching Sanctuary carpet done before the Surgery, but it is simply not going to happen I am afraid!! Eunice has been having a fit lately that I must begin to pace myself!! However, it just seems so wonderful that I am on top of things finally and able to do some things I have not been able to even oversee for the last seven years. There is so much I have yet to be able to do, but I am well on my way!!

I still am very upset about my upcoming Surgery next week, but I am finding it to be less scary every day part in my nerves are calming down thanks to my ever present calming voice of Eunice. And, secondly, my teeth are beginning to actually hurt, in spite of my daily morphine, to the point of some mega discomfort!!

Well, today I will begin the posting of my new STASH TO GO!! I am not sure if I can get it on Webshots album or if I need to make an additional Blog posting, but the first will be on by noon Friday!! Now, again, my rules of STASH TO GO are each item is $1 and the actual postage and handling (actual cost of envelope and/or box, whatever it takes). I am going to allow two weeks for the postage and $1 per item to arrive after agreeing upon it!! The STASH TO GO will go to the first person who emails me PRIVATELY, not taking up space on the Main Board, on a first come first served basis!! If the payment is not received by the two weeks agreed upon the STASH TO GO will go to the next person requesting it. And, remember I know there are people in this Group who have far worse problems than myself and many others!! If this be your case and the $1 and postage is a hardship, I would much rather this money go to buying that extra gallon of milk or whatever needs are present in your family. But, as you know, my memory needs jogging much of the time. I do remember all those hurting when prompted, but sometimes I do forget so please do not feel bad at all, about gently reminding me of your problems so we can come to different agreement!! You can be sure I am totally discrete and nothing goes beyond me!!

Well, hopefully this will do it until the weekend is over!! I will be posting STASH TO GO either on my WEBSHOTS or if it does not go well there on a different BLOG right here!!

Have a wonderful weekend all!!

Love and Hugs!

Deborah

and

Mirprezious, too!!

WE ARE OKAY!!




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