H O P E ! !

HOPE is a small little word with a powerful punch!!

Don't ever ask me what I had for breakfast any given morning, as there is probable little hope I will be able to remember. However, ask me any time about 5:00 p.m., August 15, 2005 and I can not forget that very moment. This is when I had for the very first time heard, "So sorry Deborah, nothing more can be done"!! I had just transferred into my home, after sitting in a Court Room almost all day watching the prosecution of my sister and her decision to break into our home and rob us, while I had laid with full life support keeping me alive 120 miles away in that past year!! While experiencing many emotions and feelings never previously ever considered, much less ever considered I would have to deal with, I was handed off, by one of my attorneys, my ringing telephone. I then heard, "so very sorry, Deborah, there is nothing else that can be done" for the first of many times to come!! Unfortunately, at that moment I was being told Max was gravely ill and our general practitioner had come to the conclusion nothing else could be done!! We were ultimately given about six months more life expectancy, unless a donor transplant could be found!! And, thus my fight for Max's life began!!

I can not remember each battle, and truly do not want to. This has been the longest four years of my life. It has been one long series of wins and loses!! I am sure I could put them all together, but it would take days and it matters to me little at this time. That is, unless I could turn them into the "Television Movie of the Week" and make my first million on another very badly chosen script!!

I think every one knows I have pretty much been on complete bed rest for the better part of the recent months. I recoup a little bit, just to be hit with some thing else to take me two more steps in reverse!! Last few days have not been good!! But, nevertheless, good ole Uncle Sam sent additional greetings demanding my presence at yet another pre-transplantation "conference"!! Realistically, Uncle Sam, a.k.a. Veterans Administration, is looking for a "nice" way to say, "so sorry, Mr. Markham, but we can not transplant a liver and kidney in you because........."!!
Well, to put it as politely and nicely as I can, "Over My Dead Body"!! Max and I have had more than our share of "ups" and "downs" with our relationship. However, had it not been for Max my butt would still be rotting away in that "hellhole" of a Nursing Home I had been placed in!! Also, apart we both just have long and hard struggles, but together we can not be broken by any thing or any one!!

Thus, we had to be on the road again this morning, headed west the 90 mile trip, to the Veterans Administration Hospital!! I was in excruciating pain and overly tired before we got started and every mile just became worse!! I was primed and readied by the time we arrived in Iowa City!!

We were just there about two months ago, when I spent a grueling day going through what a team of six psychiatrists thought would be role-playing which I put an immediate halt to!! This day then went to one scenario after another of a game "well, if this happens, what will you do, and if that happens, etc., etc., and etc.!! After six hours of this, the plan was to put me through a three-hour series of memory and agility testing!! Good Grief!! What part did not these "overly educated a$$es" not understand that I am on more morphine daily then most people ever encounter in an entire lifetime and I am in a wheelchair?!! About noon this day, I finally raised my voice to just an octave below screaming at them "enough"!! I would meet any thing presented to me and either handle the situation by my self or place people back on payroll to handle it for me, BUT every thing and any thing WOULD be taken care of!! I further told them I would rather be headed back east home than spend another three hours repeating myself!! Suddenly, we got a previously unscheduled recess. Max and I left the hospital and found a wonderful little deli and had a delightful and leisurely lunch.
Upon returning to the hospital this six panel "whatever" had disbanded and word was left they were done with me!! Max had to go on with about two more hours of testing!!

During this time, I had suddenly been scheduled with a pair of Social Workers (we all know how I "love" Social Workers - NOT!!) while waiting for Max. I was informed of several things at this time, but the only thing that remained in my memory was my having to stay in a hotel for about six weeks alone and then an additional three weeks in the hotel with Max "if" a transplant was going to take place!! There was much other information given to me, at this time, but every thing was lost as I knew six weeks alone in a hotel having to commute back and forth each day was all that I could absorb. It was one of the first times I felt "not a chance and no hope"!! Hopelessness is not some thing I will ever accept "gracefully" and I come back "swinging"!! I had come to the decision of simply "Whatever"!! "What ever" could they do to me to MAKE me stay nine weeks in a hotel!! I do not handcuff to a bed rail easily!! So, "what ever"!!

I had a rather "uncomfortable" few days!! I then was once again able to get ahold of my self!! I personally, very much, do not believe in fear. Fear only gets a life, "if" we give it one!! And, I have learned so very much from knowing Eunice. One of the big things, I had to work on was worry. Fortunately, Eunice has been working on this problem with me for several months and I have learned from experience not to let worry come into my life, until it truly comes in and not a moment before!! These things coupled with my deep belief in prayer carried me through!!

However, a few weeks ago, we had gotten another "letter" to be at the Veterans Administration Hospital!! A friend took Max and I stayed at home. I was happy as a clam, having nothing to do or any one around me at all!! Max returned home much sooner than I ever expected rather upset!! The staff at the Veterans Hospital refused to go any further with this Transplant Process with out my presence!!
Personally, with my attitude coupled with my pain levels, I would have advised them to "rejoice and be glad" I had not went along!! Nope!! Every thing had to be re-scheduled for today!! Okie Dokey!!

Thus, this morning at 6:00 a.m. we were up and making our way back to Iowa City!! I am speechless to describe my attitude and demeanor of today!! It was plainly the worst ever through this entire "Process"!! Max had the usual tests and moderating. I had a bad incident prior to leaving my home this morning - I could not put my hands on any Aida cross stitch projects!! I had simply forgotten I needed my "Mighty Magnifier" lamp to use any thing other than Aida!! First appeared nothing to "tame the beast"!! Then, I sudden saw a glimpse of a 3-D Christmas Card I have started on perforated paper!! Such relief!! Without realizing it, I have pushed all my Aida WIPS to the very back and deepest bottom of my WIP area, as I have absolutely fallen in love with linen and evenweave. Big problem for another day!!
We got on with our drive, and I started thinking about all the members who post about stitching while traveling. I never used to be able to read, do puzzles, write, about any thing while riding in any thing with out consequences of car sickness.
This was some thing I really did not need, but this was the kind of morning to push all limits!! Thus, I pulled out my perforated paper and supplies and began stitching on my "Snow Globe". I do not know what peaked my interest, but suddenly I realized some thing simply did not look right!! Thus, I just stared at my piece of perforated paper contemplating how to make the "cut-outs" for the 3-D Card. Good Grief!! I had started the "Snow Globe" design the wrong way on the paper!! I suddenly calculated needing 22 squares more above my stitching, while I only had 15!! Well, as my father always used to say, "you can not make applesauce, out of horse shXX"!! Sorry, just that kind of day!! Thus, some one will be getting a "one and only" snow globe stitched insert in their Christmas card this year!! There was nothing or no one who could possibly ruin this day any further, so I amazingly took it in my stride and just kept on stitching!!

Max finished up his business by about 10:00 a.m. and the "Social Worker" who had requested to have my "presence" had made an appointment with us for 1:00 p.m.
Thus, Max and I got back in our van and found a Perkins Restaurant for a fantastic "brunch"!! We just took our time!! I casually mentioned trying to find a LNS, but this idea went over like a lead balloon!! I do not know if Max had a LNS on his agenda or not, would bet "not", but as he was trying to maneuver my wheelchair from under the table he just barely scraped my leg. I initially did not even give it a thought!! A lady sitting at the next table stopped me and asked if I knew I had been injured while being pulled out from the table. I could not figure out what she was talking about, but decided to look down at it and only saw massive blood!! It takes little, or nothing, to get me to bleed on "bloated" days like this and bleed I did do!! Unfortunately, we had to spend a considerable amount of time on clean and patch up duty before any thing else!! Thus, we went back to the hospital and we sat out in the sun for a short time. It was only high of 64 degrees and wetness after a rain day, so the sun felt so good!! Finally, it was our scheduled time!!

We arrived at the Social Worker's, Carol, office right on time. She asked that we just go into some empty exam room to wait for her to finish her lunch!! Yeah, sure, take your sweet time lady was my only thought!! I had not actually seen this woman yet, but only had heard Max's rants and raves about her the past two weeks!! There was a large portrait of all the Transplant Staff on the wall. I told Max we could start the games early by letting me try to pick out our new "special buddy" from Max's clues on the portrait. First guess, I got her!! Well, that was not too entertaining for very long!! Well, another stitching break. I managed to get all the many "snow" confetti stitches finished!!

Carol finally arrived in our new "conference" a.k.a. exam room about 1:15 p.m. She then proceeded to sit on one hand to the other in an attempt to write and also keep warm as the room was so cold!! Finally, she simply had to go find a sweater as she was just too cold!! I was going to offer mine draped over the back of my wheelchair, but you never know about Max and my quick departures where there becomes a need!! Finally, we got yet another interview, that I alone have already been quizzed over at least a dozen times!! Thus, I just decided to ask whether that computer "thing" she was working on was incapable of reading the notes the last twelve interviewers had made so it would save us all a lot of time (oh, the urge to just say "a lot of valuable stitch time)!! Well, yes it did and she did not know "why", but just she had to fill out the forms completely!! I just gave it up and went back to "my" old reliable "what ever"!! Well, she was very worried about my safety as Max's "Support Person" so could not our "Back Up Support Person" step up to his "Support Person" and we ask some one else to be his "Back Up Support Person"!!
Well, it took me a minute to unravel all these "Persons", but I told her I could very assuredly tell her "NO, that most surely would not happen!!" Well, did I mind "sharing" with her why not? I told her I did not mind in the slightest, as we simply did not have a "back up support person"!! What about possibly a grandchild? Well, if we would have had children, which we did NOT, they might have responded, but I was quite sure "grandchildren" were out of the question!! Now, I got a bit miffed here as you have to be 18 to be considered a "support person" - I asked just how old did she thought we happened to be!! Oh yes, guess I would be correct then!! Much discussion ensued, but the subject of a "Support Person" was lost in the big tangled mess!!

Carol went on to quiz me over the possibility of us asking a potential donor for their kidney and/or section of liver!! I had ended our "Support Person" discussion with it was Max and I against the world by OURSELVES and we had long ago accepted this and possibly Carol should also move her mind set to this!! I truly thought this was "the point"!! Carol wanted me to be sure there was not a friend, possibly a person Max had worked with, etc., etc., etc.!! Can you even begin to imagine hearing, "Uh, Hey, Deb!! You know you and I have worked together a long time, you think you might not miss a kidney and/or part of your liver?"!!!! NO, I can not even imagine such a thing!!

Well, I started not believing a word this woman had to say to me!! However, I walked out thinking God had placed her especially right in my path to watch over us!!

Carol has above and beyond promised an end to this insanity by mid-October!! At that time, Max will finally, just over four years later, be placed on the National Donor Organ List!! I was busy thanking the Lord, when I heard "Um, now Max has Type O Blood. That will place him 3 to 5 years down on the list, give or take a circumstance or two!! I immediately begin to think, Carol, Max is Type O Blood which is almost the universal blood type!! Where in the world are the rare blood types on "this list"!! Well, Max will be placed on the National List retroactive back to June 16, 2008 as this was his dialysis start date!! Why can I not shout "Happy Dance" on my rooftop?

Carol "assured" me that she would be placing in the record and having held on "stand by" a private ambulance service to transport me to and from the hospital each day as they do NOT have any vehicles that have access for a person to be transported in a wheelchair!! Carol says I will only be required to stay 7 to 10 days in the hotel alone and when Max is discharged from the hospital we would only have to stay another week or so together at the hotel!! She said I was required to stay in Iowa City to "support" Max's getting up to walk several times each day immediately following his transplant as the staff is too busy to make sure each patient is assisted and does this walking several times a day!! I absolutely QUIT asking do they not see me as a disabled person in a wheelchair that does not walk herself, much less support a man walking immediately after surgery!! She said if I needed further "help" at the hotel room the hospital would provide it. I ask again, perhaps they should provide this "help" for Max where it is needed and could be used!! I will be glad to go home and just get the heck out of the way!!

I was completely stunned with Carol's time frame, hotel "help" and actually knowing Max will be listed on National Donor List finally!! She went on with so many other details and I am lost as to almost all of them!! I keep questioning Max if I did not have a day where my morphine had gotten off balance again!! I am continuing to question this entire day!! Max keeps assuring me this is a perfectly normal day for me and I am having no "episode"!!

And, as we progressed on, Carol discovered Max's Vie Nam tours. These have virtually went totally unaddressed for all these years and now suddenly she told us we were entitled to an extremely substantial amount of tax free income also from these as Max did develop prostrate cancer some years back!!

Carol seemed very dedicated to her job and also very proudly told us she was very sympathetic to the Viet Nam veterans!! She convinced me she was totally knowledgeable about all aspects of the different Veteran's Acts and all the Rules and Regulations. Why can I not bask in the wonders of the possibility that we have finally won this battle I have appealled, appealled and appealled?

I guess all I can do is now sit back ,pray and HOPE!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

THURSDAY, JULY 09, 2009 - EVALINA ZAMANA

Good Evening to All:

I have a quite lengthy entry to night, but I truly do not have the words to express what I am really feeling!!

I have been on bed rest all week as I am having some problems the doctor simply says "Watch very carefully. Either some thing else will happen or a "bug" will run it's own course"!! Famous last words the last two times I found myself being rushed to emergency surgery during the night!! But, I do feel a bit better tonight and am hoping and praying the "bug" passed!!

I have been in total bed rest for approximately the last three days, but sort of feel like what ever it was has passed, I hope!!

Yesterday, I answered my telephone and heard the words Evalina Zamana and stopping by!! I got instantly very excited, but knew there was absolutely no time to do much than get me out of my night gown, run a brush through my hair and have Max get me seated comfortably on my new deck to wait for the expected visitor. I had already reasoned through my mind that Evalina would have been talking about an impending vacation long ago and I would have been notified if she was going to be any where in this area!! But, I was very groggy and confused!!

Soon a strange car pulled into our driveway and I certainly did not recognize her!! She was dressed very nicely and was very, very nice. At first, I just wanted to jump up and hug her and welcome her as I had thoughts now crossing my sleepy mind that it just might be Evalina!!

Well, I need to step back and give others a chance to catch up with this whole story as they deserve to understand every single part of this!! As most know, Rene is holding a new Hardanger Class which is just beginning. At first, you were required to sign up on the database and post a photograph of your supplies needed to complete the Hardanger Piece that was chosen for the class to do!! At the bottom of the Supplies List was "a supply of chocolate to calm nerves when we get to the point where you have to cut the Kloster blocks"!! I thought this funny, but knowing me it would just be some thing else that could cause a mess for me and get smeared on my endeared project so I stupidly omitted my supply of chocolate!!
However, on Evalina's Supplies Picture posting, she had all kinds of various very good and tasty looking chocolates!! At the time, I thought "I would have killed for that selection of chocolates pictured"!!

And, off we began Lesson One this past week of just making the outside row of Klooster Blocks!! Okay, some day this will be an extremely easy thing to set up and I will laugh when remembering all the troubles I had trying to get these blocks perfect!! I did not actually go in to the database to check, but it seemed to me that I was the only one not done with this week's assignment!! Shortly, Lisa N. posted she had not been able to finish either at that time and that she was going into the corner in shame!! I popped in and told her to move on over as I would be keeping her company as I was in shame also!! Not too long later, Evalina popped in and asked if there was room for her in Lisa's and my corner. I replied surely and we would be glad to make room for her if she brought the chocolate!! Well, in a bit longer time passing, I believe Lisa, Evalina and my self had a "brain fart" and the light bulbs went off and the three of us were able to leave "OUR" corner and go to it and got the Lesson One finished!! I kept thinking, I sure hope Evalina left the chocolates in "OUR" corner for "insurance" of the rest of the Lessons!! I had the feeling the three of us were going to become very good friends just from our collective corner times for this project!!

I had no more real worries except was I going to be able to go to "Our" corner of shame in time to at least drown our sorrows in chocolate and nuts, and ohhhhhhhhh luscious caramel!!

Well, I was in bed, following my doctor's orders to the tee this time. Any possible chance of another surgery does wonders for my behaviour in following doctor's orders!! My telephone rang and I answered it very groggily and only truly understood the words "Evalina Zamana" and "coming to visit"!! I immediately began to yell for Max to get me up and make me look a little bit better, but it was not pretty!! He placed me out on our deck as it was cool and a light breeze went across it!! Max continues to seal our inside of our house up equivalent to a bomb shelter so no cool air can get in no matter what. He runs around this home in his long winter underwear, two sets of sweats, and a jacket and cap!! He drives me crazy!! With my illness, it is some times been described best that you need to imagine all the blood in your entire body has been drained out and a lighter fluid has been replaced for this blood and then some one ignites the lighter fluid!! I literally feel that my body is in the middle of a bon fire and I am being burned to death 24 hours per day, seven days per week!! It is excruciating in pain and I am just hot, hot, hot!! Even in the winter nothing pleases me more than to wear my regular shorts and a light top with no shoes - flip flops if it is absolutely necessary for me to go outside!! This happens all through each of our bitter cold winters also. Thus, my front deck is the safest and coolest place in this entire home 99% of the time!! Thus, Max settles me into a lawn chair and I wait. Max kept asking who or what I was waiting for!! And, I honestly could not tell him, even though this very nice lady had told me exactly who she was and why she was coming by. I only retained Evalina and my home!! I honestly could not believe Evalina would have made her way to Iowa, of all places, from the Yukon without many days of discussion and telling every one of her plans!! I could recall nothing about her going any where!! So, I just decided to try to bring myself to being fully awake and waited!!

Soon, a very nice car, with an extremely well-dressed lady appeared in our drive way and she began the walk up the drive way. She was a very pleasant and friendly gal!!
Immediately, she began to explain why she was at my home and that she was just "representing" Evalina!! Now, I was thoroughly confused!! This gal, who introduced herself as Mary Kaster then handed me a lovely gift bag and proceeded to tell me it was for me from Evalina!! She also encouraged me to open it as soon as possible!! I reached in and I pulled out a nice big box of DeMet's Chocolate Caramel Turtles!! I so wanted to just taste one, but knew better with my stomach that day!! I then pulled out the most beautifully packaged "Satin Hands Pampering Set" from Mary Kay!! I have had cracked and rough hands for quite some time. This is a three set process that seems to just have to work!! I sure am going to begin trying immediately tomorrow morning as Mary was kind enough to explain exactly how you use this three step process. I truly feel this is just what I have been so badly needing for my hands!!

Above is a picture of the unopened bag Evalina had sent me all the way from the Yukon!!Above is the lovely gifts opened and arranged for display for every one to see!!

All I can say is I am sure going to invite Evalina in any "naughty corner" I find myself in!! It was very touch and go, if I actually was going to be able to post that I had completed the Lesson this morning. I had tried, but for some reason could not get the Lesson to Post!! I tried later today, while I was up and the Lesson printed just find to the Lesson Album!!

Hopefully, this was an omen that is telling me I will be able to get through this Hardanger Lesson and project with no more trials and tribulations!! However, if I do I sure know where those DeMet's Turtles are setting right now and every one has been notified they are Private Stock!! I may look for a mistake just to be able to take a chocolate break!!

After Evalina's friend left, I sat absolutely stunned!! I could never imagine any one doing any thing for any one so far away, much less to have some one do some thing so nice just for me so far away!!

Evalina, you are truly the best friend any one could have!! I am truly at a loss for words to know just how to say "THANK YOU" except to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH for this pure act of kindness and caring for me!! To care for some one you do not know all that well and have such a great amount of humor attached to it shows you care deeply about every one and every thing in this entire Group!!

I can come up with no other words, but THANK YOU VERY MUCH EVALINA ZAMANMA!! Your are truly one very great and caring lady with an incredible sense of humor!!

I love you very much Girlfriend!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

SATURDAY, JULY 20, 2009 - TODAY WAS ONLY GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED ON "GRISWOLD OUTHOUSE HELL VACATION"!!

Hello All,

I saw my doctor yesterday, and he is still ordering as much bed rest as possible and I am to stay in wheelchair at all other times. Eunice took me to the doctor, heard his Orders and then whisked me away to the big "Juneteenth Fest" down in our big park on the river!! Eunice was to be on a Panel Discussion and then be Judge to Pound Cake and Pie contest!! I have been taken to many fund raisers over the past year with Eunice, but never quite "got" what this "Juneteenth" thing was all about!! I don't remember any of the speaker's names and official titles, except that they were just quickly brought in to the park with police escort and as I ended up on the stage side as it was the only shaded and half-way cool place in that entire park, I got to hear and see a whole lot. These "dignitaries" were to have been taken by escort back to the airport to an awaiting private plane, but they were so impressed with this Celebration they continued on to stay and join in the festivities. There were tornado "watches" out for about 3:00 p.m. and they quickly turned into "warnings" and before all was over in the middle of a torrential downpour the tornado warning sirens went off!! These "dignitaries" being I can not remember there names were very impressed with this Celebration as they knew of no where else where one was being held. They spoke about Iowa being first to vote for Obama, and many other firsts, etc., etc., etc.!! They were absolutely astonished the Obama supporters had actually went out and canvassed door to door in every neighborhood they could possibly cover in this town of 26, 616 people. At least, I finally did learn our population in this city, if nothing else!!

This Celebration was all about the slaves being freed on this date in 1895!! These dignitaries said they had never seen such a harmonious city with the blacks and white gathering celebrating together!! Some "Dr. Boone", I think his name was, kept coming over to me wanting to discuss prejudice still in our schools as every one else on this stage were teachers!! I was just the "dummy" staying cool waiting for Eunice to finish!!

It was also a very lovely afternoon for me as I got to see and visit with about every Caregiver I have had over the past few years and got introduced to some more who could be potential next ones!! Max was safely at dialysis, so no interruptions or upsetting this apple cart of visiting these gals. I truly miss most every one of them very much!!

Then, about 3:30 p.m. the heavens let loose and it really thundered, lightning and downpoured!! After being knocked out of my chair by lightning hit a big oak tree right outside my Stitching Sanctuary about a month ago, I have a new fear of lightning for the first time!! However, I never had so many people pick me up and transfer me into Eunice's truck and hardly felt even a sprinkle. Then, suddenly many people came running towards Eunice's truck and started filling them with the Pound Cakes and Pies. A few of the women have this contest down to bring their entries to the contest straight from the oven, so they can be enjoyed at just eating, or I should say, tasting temperature!! Eunice's truck smelled heavenly!! I kept telling Eunice she could be a "legend" in her church's history if we just kept going north to our homes with those heavenly Pound Cakes and Pies!! But, honest Eunice had to stop by the church and some fellows came out and unloaded them and took them in the church!! Eunice thought I had enough up time and combined with the weather decided we would call it a day and go home after her truck was unloaded!!

I wanted Pound Cake all night last night!! Got none!! However, that sweet Wanda was here to help get me up this morning and she gave me a real special breakfast - a very large hunk size of a Pound Cake!! Note to me: Max do not even think about terminating Wanda or you shall be terminated!!

Well, I have lots of pictures and trying to write down all the stories I can remember from vacation, however, I HAVE to remedy my extreme rudeness and get all my birthday things pictured and Thank Yous finished before I get any thing else done!! However, my "birthday note pad" is temporarly missing right now as I had a BIG surprise upon being brought out of those damn "woods" by Eunice and her husband!! I had a beautiful computer amorie and a new Kodak All-In-One Printer for my newly organized and almost finished "Stitching Sanctuary"!! I also got a wonderful five blade with three light bulb fixtured ceiling fan as this room is a long story, but shortly surmised it is very hot and stuffy!! So, needless to say, my beloved "Stitching Sanctuary" has been emptied once again and all new plans revised and are beginning to be implemented!! Long story short, I can not find any thing, much less a writing pad!!

However, there was one very good thing that happened while we were on "vacation"!! I could not get any phone calls unless I happened to be at the very point of the river inlet backwaters fishing while being eaten alive by mosquitos and gnats!! I had black patches on me that others would notice just eating me up some thing terrible, but with my morphine I could not feel them at all. Now, I can yet very well as I am still trying to overcome infection where I scratched myself beyond doctor's belief as I could not feel the pain, just the itching. Thus, I was placed on pills that were for itching to make me stop!! Well, they worked as they knocked me cold out and I slept so I could not scratch!! Nor, be in attendance mentally for my second big birthday surprise party comprised of our married friends and neighbors!! Eunice found me out sleeping in my Stitching Sanctuary and was quite miffed that Max had not gotten me dressed and ready for company!! He had the "nerve" to say he knew his limits and he could not wake me up!! Eunice managed to and got me cleaned up and dressed for my birthday party, but I do not remember one person here or any thing about it!!
I am sure I am the rumor of this town now that "I" am the one with the drinking problem!! Good Grief only at the "Griswolds"!!

Well, at one time of this fishing fun EVERY day, I actually did get a telephone call!! This man asks me how I would like an officially autographed Chicago Cubs duffel bag!! I thought "Good Lord only a "Griswold" could get a telemarketer find them in the depth of woods"!! I was actually speechless, but so darn happy to talk to any one else from the city, I continued to talk to this man!! I know nothing about baseball and wondered what this guy wanted or rather how much!! Soon, he asked me how I would like to go to a Chicago Cubs ball game. Well, if he promised to come get me out of those darn woods, I would have went and watched grass grow with him!! I told him I sure would love to go to Chicago!! Thus, he then asked if he could be a stowaway to Chicago with me!! I then thought, I had been in the sun too long that day drowing worms and I had become delusional!! Here was a man promising to take me to Chicago!! Then, he said, since he had gotten my attention he wanted me to know I was the Grand Prize Winner for the Cancer Relay for Life Raffle!!
I am yelling "WOOHOO" by this time and Eunice is coming over and asking me to hand her my phone!! OH NO, I am getting out of here!! And, this man then tells me that in accepting the Chicago Cubs duffel bag I also had to accept ownership of all of it's contents, especially the FOUR CENTER FRONT BOX SEATS to the June 20 Noon Baseball Game!! I was going wild!! Eunice thought I finally had crossed over that fine line of delusional!! After I got off the phone, everyone wanted to know what was going on!! Well, this was the biggest mistake in my life and I told them!! Of course, by the time I came back into the city our local news medias had already told the entire town and surrounding areas!!

For the last three weeks, I have been the most popular woman in this town. All my dear friends who had disappeared on or about May 04, 2002 all came crawling out from their rocks!! Surely I needed some one to help me so that I could go to Chicago!! Well, let's say I will not repeat what I sure did tell these dear friends!!

I have never been so miserable in my entire life!! I had originally declared Eunice's husband, Marion and my hubby, Max each would get a pair of these tickets as these are die hard Chicago Cubs fans!! Well, every thing was well for about two days!! Marion was told he absolutely could NOT have this day off as his business had overbooked and had three separate weddings today!! NO way was Marion going to get today off!! They were really nice though and gave him four days of this past week off in a row and I believe even paid him!!

Back to my owning four Chicago Cubs Baseball tickets and Chicago package!!
I was never so guilt ridden and miserable in my life as to making a final decision of who got them!! Then, one night while tossing and turning and not being able to even close my eyes I remembered the very number one Chicago Cubs baseball fan of all time!! Do not ever interrupt Granny Lou from going to her Curves ladies work-out center every day of the week and never, never interrupt her watching a Cubs game on television!! Most know Granny Lou, as she and Eunice completely made the Iowa Department of Human Services look like the fools they are when they made their vain attempt to try and make Max, Miprezious and I move into an Assisted Living Facility!! These two women could be seen running between our homes in night clothes and every thing else just to outdo a real nasty Social Worker who had her nose into far too much information about us. Just because I am handicapped and Max got misdiagnosed THIRTEEN times in twelve weeks (he went totally unresponsive and 911 HAD to be called and this red flagged us as in need, but only need was Max being diagnosed correctly as needing a pacemaker and getting it) as this medical community simply did not care as he was deemed terminal on August 15, 2005!! I got Max transferred out of this town and he was a new man in less than 24 hours later!! He is still in dire need of a donor liver and kidney, if any one happens to see an extra not being used though!! Okay, back to Granny Lou!! She is our neighbor right next door and she is 85-years old to be in the middle of these shenanigans, but I would not have wanted to try and keep her away!! This woman still cross stitches 32-Count Linens!!

I could not wait until sunrise the following day!! I assigned Granny Lou Ticket Number One and Max Ticket Number Two!! Now, I knew there was a real need for some Caregivers to watch these two at such a crowded and large place as Wrigley Field!! So, Ticket Number Three went to Wanda, my present part-time evening gal and Ticket Number Four went to Eunice!!

Thus, this morning, I was awakened by a gentle tap on my shoulder and a nice back rub!! I thought now this is not Max!! It was Eunice and she said she discovered Max gone and decided to let herself in to get me up and settled in my chair for the day!! Wanda arrived and took over helping and gave me Pound Cake for my breakfast!! Soon, I was assuring all four that I would be just fine as I was having a make-up belated real birthday party today while I had the home all to myself!! Eunice told me I was in my chair and I had better not get my self in to any trouble as all my first responders were going to be in Chicago and the other close ones had just another working day!! I never thought of these "odds" until Eunice finished explaining them to me!! I told her I would be VERY good and stay in my chair!!

So, off the foursome went headed east to Chicago!! That game was awesome, I have just been informed!! It went THIRTEEN innings and the Cubs won 6-5!!
WOO HOO some real happy, but totally exhausted Cub fans!! There was 40,007 people at that baseball stadium today!! I again was darn glad I was not among them as it is in 90's after storming all night long!! Humidity is like you can cut it like a knife!! I have been informed there are four people very hungry going for the dinners and then are heading west back home to ME!!! WOO HOO!!

(Perhaps, I will not ask if any one has seen my Birthday list until some time late tomorrow afternoon. I think there will be four very cranky and overly tired fans returning without the zeal they left here with!!)

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

JUNE 18, 2009 - HAPPY, HAPPY DANCE!!!!

I have had my very best finish yet, since prior September, 2006, finally!! And, there was no one who wanted a special (She even would have been glad for any piece) project of mine more than one of my very best friends, Kathy Kiley!! Thus, I set out to make My Big Toe Design "REMEMBER ME" specifically for her!! So, I could not release the final pictures of it, until Kathy received her Birthday Box from me!!

NOW it is time to HAPPY, HAPPY DANCE for me!! I do not like a braggart, as I detest such people and I would like to continue liking myself!! However, I have to say I am proud as a peacock with the way this "REMEMBER ME" turned out!! It was my first 25-Count Evenweave, my first stitching one over one and stitching four new Specialty Stitches for me!!

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, Kathy seemed quite pleased with her Birthday gift, even though I was a bit late. Kathy was again the calming force, that knew by the time I had not sent her Birthday Box, that I was in progress of stitching her birthday gift!! She was the one who said, with great finese, that I should just put away the piece I was working on when "Clark" threw the "monkeywrench" into my stitching progress with his "Griswold Outhouse Hell Vacation" during the last week I had to finish this piece on time!! I have never been so stressed out before and after a "vacation" in my entire life!! I am still operating on complete physical and emotional exhaustion!! Kathy told me it sounded like I wanted complete perfection on this gift more than ever and that she preferred that I just be a bit late than try to continue stitching in the exhausted state I was in. I am still working my way back into completely being and feeling such exhaustion!! However, I am so grateful Kathy convinced me to back off it for a bit until I had some rest!!

I had found this wonderful navy blue "Memory Album" while actually out on an appointment at a VA facility for Max. I spotted this beautiful leather album and knew I just had to have it!! Then, I remembered the chart I had for quite some time. I just knew it was the perfect combination for Kathy's birthday this year!!

The best part of doing this was I knew I needed to get some just perfect navy blue braid for the edges to make a perfect finish for mounting my piece on the front of this beautiful album. I had expressed to Max that I simply had to get out some time to find this braid and I knew it had to be some where other than Clinton as it has nothing since Wal-Mart gave up most of it's crafting things!!

Thus, the day I had to be rushed down to Davenport, 50 miles away, for what I thought would amount to be put on some antibiotics, I told Max that no matter the outcome I absolutely wanted to go to the new Super Joann's store also located there. Well, I ended up having emergency surgery for what was found to be a tumor in the roof of my mouth!! Hours later, while Max was transferring me into our van from my wheelchair at the Surgery Center, he asked if I still wanted to go looking for the braid. I was still groggy from anesthesia, but I said most definitely!! Max said he really did not want to even try to do this, but he knows my determination when I set my mind into doing any thing!! So, off we went to Super Joann's!! We got there and Max again transferred me and wheeled me in the store. He immediately began looking just for the aisle that had braid as quickly as he could. He began taking any thing navy off the shelves and I kept shaking my head no. Then, Max finally got in to the very nice variety of braid which I had wanted. He again kept picking up all navy braids and some I would nod okay to as I was again drifting off into additional morphine sleep and he knew he was on his own. He continued to pick up any navy braid he thought would do!! He then quickly went looking for a check out counter. The man at the register informed Max he had to go to the cutting table before checking out. By this time, Max just told him he would take all of it, but again this man told him he still had to go back to a cutting table!! So, off we went to find a cutting table and upon finding one a woman clerk realized Max was having a problem and asked what she could do to help. Max told her he simply wanted to check out. And, being I was in no state to decide which of the braids I wanted, that he had continued to choose after I had drifted off, that he would take them all!! The woman told Max that some of the bobbins contained several yards and asked if he thought I truly needed that much of so many different braids. Max tried to ask me, but it got him no answer about any braid!! Thus, he told the woman what I was trying to do with the braid. And, between them, they decided on two yards just to be sure I had enough!! In the end, I now have the start of some real braid stash, but all in navy blue!! But, the good thing was there were two different ones that were absolutely perfect for the Album cover!!

I keep telling him he might as well begin to stitch as he is beginning to learn about all the different things about it!! He said he had a life time fill of picking out and purchasing braid, so he thought not!!

Last finish, I had a first 32-Count Linen and this time it was 25-Count Evenweave!! I just am beginning a first 28-Count Teal Jobelan. Debra Hall sent me a chart among her birthday gifts to me that I absolutely love. I "thought" I had seen every "tea" related chart existing, but here was a brand new one to me!! It is by Ellen Mauer-Stroh called "Stitching Hour". It has a 2000 Copyright. I absolutely loved it and had to at least give it a start in a rotation I am going to organize soon and stick to it!!

Thus, I know the pictures above leave a lot to be desired!! But, I am sure Kathy will have some posted soon that show the true beauty of this soon!! Remember, all have to give an extra kick in this HAPPY, HAPPY DANCE jig for me!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

P.S.

I am embarassed for my lateness in getting all my Thank Yous out for all the beautiful things I received for my birthday. I also am working on getting all the things photographed and posted!! There is truly no excuse for such rudeness, but I truly have just finally totally depleted and still have total exhaustion. I am trying to get a bit more accomplished each day, but it is truly very slow getting any thing accomplished yet!!

MAY 18, 2009 - MIPREZIOUS' EIGHTH BIRTHDAY

UNFORTUNATELY, DADDY HAD CONTROL OF THE CAMERA AGAIN TONIGHT!! MOMMY ACTUALLY IS GETTING BETTER PICTURES RECENTLY!!

MIPREZIOUS INSISTS ON OPENING ALL HER PRESENTS AND ANY THING ELSE WITH GIFT WRAPPING, OR EVEN WHAT APPEARS TO BE, IN THIS ENTIRE HOME!!

I know this is not a big day for many of you, but being it is pretty much the three of us being family we celebrate every thing!! And, today was Miprezious Dee Dee Markham II (official AKC Papers, not worth the paper they are written on) Eighth Birthday!!

Usually Miprezious and I share one really Big party Memorial Day weekend. However, we will actually be on vacation beginning next Monday, May 25 until June 01 or when ever we get fed up and decide to come home!! This vacation I am sure of only one thing!! This is a side splitting, belly laughing, and wetting your self kind of hilarious laugh from my daily log I intend to keep!! I have to have some thing to do!!

Thus, Miprezious and I may, or may not, have a Big shared party the weekend after we finally come home from our vacation!! But, for today Mi's Birthday amounted to birthday cake her Daddy had baked and decorated as I informed him I will be quite busy on my Super Secret Project until I notify him I am done and Do Not Bother Me unless he knows for sure the house is on fire and it will come back to my Stitching Sanctuary!! I did stop my work to have dinner, watch Mi do a few of her presents and birthday cake and ice cream!!

Mi had her regular great time of opening her presents and eating her cake and ice cream!! Mi has been non-stop sleeping since this little party!! The little gal slept in till 1:00 p.m. this afternoon!! It appears she is not aging gracefully!!

And, her pictures will appear some where in this writing and I am not even going to try and guess as I am way too tired my self!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah and Max

and, Miprezious, too

SUNDAY, MAY 17, 2009 - IS IT MY BIRTHDAY YET?

HEY EVERY ONE!!

AND, NOW A WORD FROM THE REAL "BOSS"!!

JUST TO LET EVERY ONE KNOW, TOMORROW, MAY 18, 2009 IS MY EIGHTH BIRTHDAY!!

VANILLA CAKE AND MILKBONES FOR ALL!!

GOING TO HAVE A SMALL CAKE ALL FOR ME TOMORROW, BUT AFTER WE GET BACK FROM VACATION, WE WILL PARTY DOWN AS IT WILL BE ALSO MOMMY'S BIRTHDAY THEN, TOO!! WE ALWAYS SHARE ONE REALLY BIG BIRTHDAY PARTY!!

BUT, I CAN HANDLE ALL THE BEST WISHES I CAN GET!! REMEMBER I GET TO GO ON VACATION WITH MOMMY AND DADDY THIS YEAR!! THINGS COULD GET A LITTLE TENSE IN ONE ROOM THAT IS EVEN SMALLER THAN THE CELL THAT ASSISTED LIVING ATTEMPTED TO KEEP US IN!!

LOVE, HUGS AND PUPPY LICKS!!

MIPREZIOUS DEE DEE MARKHAM II

P.S.

LOTS OF OTHER NEWS BELOW!!

SUNDAY, MAY 17, 2009 - CONTINUED

IS THIS NOT THE CUTEST CARD FOR A TEA CUP LOVING STITCHER?

THESE TWO PROJECTS WERE PUT ON THIS EARTH JUST TO "TEST" ME!!

AND, I AM ABOUT TO ADMIT FAILURE AND UNLESS KATHY K. FIGURES OUT HOW TO FINISH "I DON'T DO FROGGING" MY FROG HAS GREAT POTENTIAL OF TURNING INTO A T.O.A.D.!!

Papa and Mama Duck out exploring another side of our yard!!

I want these ducks to stay in my yard and nest and have babies!! Thus, Kathy K. advised me I had to make my yard more attractive to Mr. and Mrs. Duck than the other yards surrounding me!! Okie Dokie!! Now, how was I to do this!! Well, good Ms. K. advised me to get some water to them!! Had to think on this for a bit!! However, upon leaving from checking my Salon I saw a rather run down looking "Dollar General" Store and they had these small pools standing up front outside of their building!! I suddenly yell at Max to stop the van and go into the "Dollar General" and get me one of them pools!! "OH, NO WAY IN we will not say"!! Okie Dokey!! Get my wheelchair out as I am going in!! That resulted in a louder "OMG!! NO WAY!!" Then, Max promptly got out of the van and went in and got me a pool!! He was so darn mad at me by the time we got back home there was no way he was going to put that pool out and fill it up!!

Okie Dokie, Maxie!! I then asked him to get the pool out of the van at least for me and pull the hose to the front of our driveway as I was going to place and fill the pool!! NO WAY IN XXXX I WAS GOING TO TRY A STUNT LIKE THAT!!

Well, one word led to another and soon I just screamed at him, that I may fail at placing and filling that pool right, but I was going to be damned if I could not at least try!! And, I got in my transport wheelchair and used my legs to "toddle" the pool beside me and get it finally placed on an even spot in the yard and fill it! By this time, Granny Lou had come running out at my first "screech" at Max and tried to mediate the problem, while Eunice also heard me, however, she just stayed back on her porch watching to see if I could get the job done. After Eunice saw me having complete success she came a running over also!! I told them I was not going to become a complete invalid again and when I wanted to at least try some thing I was going to try and do it!! As, Eunice and Granny Lou had watched me struggle through keeping a perfect home during this past winter they knew Max had better let me fail trying or be ready to congratulate me upon success!! I will not allow some thing to be done for me that I can do for my self, but I must give you a bit of a hint of my condition today!! I have pictures of my legs, but they can wait a few days!! They could be attached to any elephant that would also happen to land in our yard as they are that big and rough from the "stunts" and "fiascos" I have had this last week!! BUT, I TOTALLY SUCCEEDED IN PLACING AND FILLING MY DUCK POND!! And, the real pay off was Mr. and Mrs. Duck were both in the pool taking a swim before a big dinner within a hour of my placing it out there!! Take that and deal with it Mr. Max!!

However, Kathy just told me yesterday, that the pool needs to be emptied and refilled about every third day!! It was news to me!! It was pure tears for Max!!

Max changed the water in the pool today while I went shopping with Eunice at the GOOD WILL Store where we met up with Wanda!!

After Mama and Papa Duck had their swim I threw a loaf of bread out to them and they and every bird withing five miles of this home landed and ate every crumb!!

And, the ducks took a walk around their new surroundings after their swim and dinner!! Max is now going to the "Wonder Bread Thrift" Store every other day for bread for my ducks!! Max has threatened to get a gun and shoot my ducks!!

I told him he is absolutely in worse trouble ever if any thing happens to MY ducks!! However, MY ducks have been ruining my hostas in deciding to make their nests in them!! They love it and hostas can easily be replaced if they truly do ruin the hosta garden that is beginning to take around this pine tree finally!!

Aren't these ducks just the cutest little pets? Miprezious is going to celebrate her Eighth birthday tomorrow and I am sure she will not be inviting the ducks for cake as Max has taught Mi to also hate MY ducks!!

Well, I also started a new "little" project that Kathy K. and I were going to do as a SAL together again!! I have not had a whole lot of luck with stitching, but I "think" it is because I am dreading the finishing so badly!! Will post picture of what it should look like!! Even, Kathy is "thinking" perhaps, we can figure out our own way to finish this one as instructions to not look all that simple!! I also began the Just Nan "Floral Fifteen"!! These two are little things, but they are two of the hardest things I have ever had the challenge to do and will not give up. I have my Super Secret Project that MUST be done yesterday to do by positively tomorrow!!

I woke up Monday, in some of the worst pain I ever thought I had from being up on my legs so much Saturday and all day Sunday!! My ankles were absolutely swollen to beyond capacity!! And, then, as expected, "my Mother" telephoned and noted I surely had to have come to realization that I could no longer fix a big dinner and especially for company!! I immediately came back, with I knew she had been very inconvenienced, however, "NO, absolutely I had not redecided any thing"!! Well, I might as well "do just as she had several years ago and simply quit as I could not do it any more"!! I could not concentrate on "combacks" to my Mother as I was in too much pain and simply reminded her "can not and quit are NOT even in my vocabulary"!! It was mighty hard to argue with her about my giving up, but I kept it in my mind that the only mistakes I had made was first inviting her and secondly in poor pre-planning!! I told her I had not been even detered in the least!! And, although in the midst of such swelling and pain it was hard to protest, I will NOT give up cooking, especially on special occasions!! I have not had Wanda since her being taken hostage and the gun held to her head with me at all!! I just today found out that there has been a "communication problem" between Eunice and Wanda. Wanda kept calling Eunice each day as she always has done as they are very best of friends!! Wanda would inquire as to how Max and I were doing and Eunice would always think she was asking about our relationship and would say every thing had never been better and things were absolutely fine!! Wanda took this as were we in need of her and when she asked, "how were we doing" she meant needing her help here.
Wanda said she felt un-needed by us!! I was joking around with her as Eunice and I had met up with her at the Good Will Store this afternoon!! Thus, Wanda will be coming back this week, but will principally be needed to help us prepare to leave on vacation next Monday, May 25!! We have very extensive packing to do this time as we had given up doing cabin life several years ago!! More about this "FIASCO" to come soon!!

I also forgot to put pictures of my most favorite Mother's Day gift I got!! It was 5 x 7 pictures of my "foster" twin grandchildren!! They sent me sweetest card and it was covered in stitching things that were all sitting in a big tea cup!! They could not have printed one their selves that would have been any more appropriate for me.
The twins, their mother and her boyfriend are also going to be with us at our cabin for a few days next week. I rather imagine their mother and her boyfriend will be leaving and also Alissa. However, I am thinking Alex will want to stay with us and fish for most of the time we will be gone!! I will post pictures above with duck and "I Don't Do Frogging" pictures!!

Back to my new duck family!! I had a Papa and Mama Duck arrive in my yard the day before Mother's Day and they have decided to stay it appears as they were still here today!! I am in midst of assisting putting in new flower gardens in my court yard left after my handicap ramp and deck was built last month here!! Max also went out and bought a Mexican clay chimchanga fireplace for the yard!!
These ducks were attracted to the cracked corn we had in the yard for Max's bird watching!! The ducks decided to nest in an old hosta bed that was the only thing that is left from the many beautiful gardens I used to have over entire property!!
These gardens dried up and died while I was recuperating from accident in May, 2002!!

I will try to put duck pictures up and describe each!! Grandmother Mother's Day card and pictures are self explanatory!! I will be sooooooooo glad when Meari and I can get together and she can teach me how to set this darn thing up!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah