Sunday, August 10, 2008

AUGUST 10,2008 MY WEEK- MY BISCORNU







This is my first Biscornu entitled SPRING! And, Miprezious just kind of sneaked in these pictures!! Perhaps, she is looking for her ornament.



This is first of my ornaments honoring Miprezious!! It will be hopefully completed in next day!!




This is called "PEEKING IN"!! I just love this piece! This will be the "one" that takes up most of the coming week.





























This will be a finish very soon (this week), but I ran off my fabric. And, this fabric color is new to me and I have no idea how to get more to add it to my piece. But, this is the TULIP ANGEL by Black Swan.

I had a very productive week!! I have not gotten this much done since long before my stroke, in September, 2006.
Exit husband, Mad Max, and enter full stitching week and lots and lots of company. I have been having a real hard time with just deciding to act on my decision to take NO MORE from "Mad Max"!! My mind would not quit spinning and my sleep and/or rest was not to be had. Now, I am exhausted and in excruciating pain!! But, it is the good kind!!
I repeatedly got the same comments from every one who came to visit!! It was the same words in different forms of words!! All the comments had same meaning and it was the visitors were glad they came as they were met by the old smile and they felt at great peace as my home has suddenly got a "happy" feeling again!! These comments were very instrumental in my deciding to end this 30+ years of "Mad Max's" insanity!!
I feel very bad for "Mad Max", but there is nothing I can do for him any longer!! I tried every thing and any thing for the past 30+ years!! I had him committed repeatedly to the very best treatment centers, while the Court system had him committed to the very worst treatment centers!! He has been told by every one that he MUST take his bi-polar manic depression medications or he would relapse into his "lost" periods!! Max's donor transplant need has escalated to the point he is in real serious need, but in not following his anti-psychotic medications he also has been taken off the National Donor Registry List!! He has lost every thing and every one, and his only concern is getting into a Psychiatrist with the express purpose of being re-evaluated and "show us all, that he is not mentally ill"!! I can only pray this Psychiatrist would be adept enough to recommit "Mad Max", as it is probably his last chance for any quality of life whatsoever!! But, I do not think the psychiatric medical community has changed enough to plainly CARE and DO SOMETHING ABOUT "Mad Max"!! I would think this would be absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel, but I am told he has not hit "his bottom" yet!!
I do know that "Mad Max" did strike me about 3:00 a.m. July 16!! And, I do know I did not want to add to the "drama" of this event, so I did not call police and I did not elaborate on his hitting me!! However, I just went to my doctor on Friday and I learned my suspicions were right. "Mad Max" did do harm to my "Port Catheter" and now it is not functioning with no one knowing what to do now!! I would not be too overly concerned about this, but the doctors have been conferring together on how to accomplish the extensive oral surgery I am in need of as soon as possible. Thank you "Mad Max"!!
I have not been able to tell a whole lot of people a big secret that just about took my sanity over the past holidays!! I went through all the appropriate motions in carrying out the holidays, but I was basically on the verge of a complete nervous breakdown!! I went through an eight day Jury Trial just prior to the actual Christmas holiday!! My attorneys, and soon even Eunice, as she was only person who was allowed to stay with me throughout the proceedings, kept asking me "what I was not telling them"!! I truly started out not knowing myself. However, one day the Defense Attorney just "hammered" me with questions and facts that had not been presented to me before!! To make a very long story short, "Mad Max" was very much at fault for negligence as the teens who actually hit me!! If, "Max" had been where he was supposed to have been and doing what he was supposed to have been doing, it would have been impossible for that fork lift to have hit me and I would not be living out of a wheelchair today!!
But, it happened and even that tragedy had no impact on "Max"!! I fear he is going to be the cause of some one's death before he "gets it"!!
All the more reasons for me to close the books on the chapters of life with "Max"!! Given "Max's" grave health matters and his dialysis, I had reservations about making him stay away from me, but I may feel bad for him, but I have and am experiencing way too much bad from him!!
But, I am going to be okay!!
Okay, my pictures are not very clear, but you can at least get the main idea of what I am doing.
I finally finished my first Biscornu!! I have just successfully completed my Flatfold and now I can add my Biscornu to this list also!! Onto finish my Needle Roll and Fob and first time try at Ornaments!! I pulled my Tulip Angel from my UFO pile and I got it all but, finished and will continue until I am finished and successful!!
I also plan on mastering this darn camera this week and getting whole and decent pictures!!
Miprezious went through a real hard time as she was definitely a "Daddy's Girl" all day, seven days a week!! "Mad Max" had to stop last Monday to sign some check and Miprezious was so very glad to see him!! "Mad Max" would have simply pushed his endeared little one out of his way, had I not intervened!! I can only pray he has not abused her over the years when I was not around!!
I have given my utmost all this past three weeks to try and see how much strength I did have. I have found ways to accomplish some things that needed to be done that took every thing out of me that should have been able to be done simply in passing!! I have crawled down the basement stairs and across the basement floor to wash a throw of Miprezious' and accomplished it!! I can park my Hooveround behind me and stand up against a counter front enough that I cooked a complete roast beef dinner with potatoes and carrots!! I also made spaghetti in meat sauce with garlic bread. Granny Lou came and shared these feasts with me. I cooked both of these meals on a Monday and it exhausted me for the entire week. But, these things, we usually take for granted were BIG successes for me!! From all this I can only conclude that "Mad Max" has tried to make me a total invalid and I have once again proved I am not!!
I am extremely exhausted and in absolute excruciating pain!! I am directed to take additional morphine during times like this, but I have opted NOT to take this additional morphine as it often times makes me more forgetful than ever!! I have choose just to work through the exhaustion and pain!! However, today was a day of rest and I have taken the extra morphine and just rested!! I have learned I have to begin pacing myself!!
I am still interviewing for a Caretaker, but I will not just settle even though I have major need for one!! I have found a service that will take care of errands and laundry pick-up and delivery!!
They will go to Wal-Mart, Post Office, Pay Bills, etc. I have found a major grocery store where all my groceries can be ordered online and delivered right to my kitchen table later that day!! I have a yard man for mowing grass and removing snow!! And, I have the most wonderful neighbors in this entire world who will take turns filling in here until a regular Caretaker can be found.
Miprezious and I are going to be OKAY!!
Much Love and Hugs!
Deborah and Miprezious







7 comments:

Gabi said...

Through all this you sound like your fighting spirit awoke and somehow you sound better then ever.
Your stitching looks lovely too. Can't wait to see more

too_busy_to_stitch said...

Deborah - big, big hugs coming your way. Your stitching is just beautiful, and I'm adding your blog to my Google Reader, so that I won't miss a thing, as I miss so much on group mail.

Rene la Frog said...

Just LOVE your Biscornu and the Fairy is very nice too. Keep sending the emails and one day soon you'll get my answers I hope. I do get your emails and love the updates. Miss our chats so much. Keep it up girlfriend and soon you will have another wonderful finish. Don't forget those "Little Pink Houses", your construction permit will run out soon LOL

Patricia said...

Love your biscornu congrats your stitching looks wonderful. HUGE HUGS coming your way take care and Happy stitching.
Patty Smith
ILCS

katkiley said...

Oh my. How absolutely fantastic your biscornu is! I am sooooo happy for you. And MizPrecious is so pretty. Of course she wants to be included. :) Talk to you soon
Kathy

Joy said...

Deborah, I am soooooooo happy for you! I understand what you are going through, but honey you have a strong spirit that will prevail. The stitching looks great!! Cyber hugs to you!!!

Nancy said...

Great update Deborah!! You have been very busy with the needle. Your biscornu looks fantastic! I love that little pattern. Your tulip Fairy is also very pretty. I haven't seen that one, so will look forward to more progress on that one! Please take care and don't over do it. Sounds like your spirits are much higher and things are coming together. Just wish you could get that live in help!!!!