It is DISCO Night - Friday, March 19, 2010

What do you wear for the 70's DISCO? Well, we had a Nurse, Physical Therapist, Max's Personal Caregiver, Eunice and a variety of other friends surveyed and got no two answers that were the same!! Thus, we went just as we were!! This was the event that Max could have successfully worn my dress slacks and actually got away with it, rather than the dismal center of attention he was at the church's Annual Meeting!!

Yes, tonight was DISCO NIGHT at our church provided by our active Social Committee!! I never saw such a variety of disco lights, black lights and lava lamps!! There was a real DJ and overall this was quite well attended!! We actually enjoyed our selves by just getting out!!

I am about to embark on a brand new "step" for me!! "I" bought a new digital camera today!! All by my self, "I" decided on a camera to buy!!
Well, to be perfectly honest, I can not say this!! Kohl's had a "POLAROID" digital camera on sale in their newspaper advertisement today and tomorrow!! I got lots of "Kohl's Kash" when I purchased my new shower drapes and accessories a few weeks ago!! Thus, this $105.99 camera cost me $21.19!! It has anti-shake, zoom, USB Cord to connect to computer or television (that will be the day I have learned every thing any one ever wanted to know-NEVER), no red eye, etc., etc., you know!!
I have already learned how to put in the date and time!! This is huge moment for me!!

There is a CD that you play that is supposed to teach you every thing you need to know to take pictures and put them online for people to view!! We will certainly see!! I am going to give it my very best as I truly want to get caught up on all my pictures and make them the best pictures I can do!!

Thus, I am off to try and figure out where this round thing goes!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

Can you Say DISCRIMINATION?!! - Saturday, March 13, 2010

I intend to make this as to the point as possible as I am still absolutely so lividly "pissed", yes you read it "pissed", that I can barely get my thoughts organized!!

After sitting by and watching helplessly, I finally demanded a "Care Conference" regarding my hubby, Max, about a month ago!! Well, THE day arrived on Wednesday of this past week!!

It is a LONG story, but most know the horrific Hell that we have been living in since Max was first diagnosed August 15, 2005!! The only thing I can say is thank God our community's medical people were wrong again and Max has far outlived the six months he was given!!

We have been put through a daily living Hell and been through all the hoops and government red tape you could ever imagine!!

I was not getting any where at this Care Conference, however, most points brought up were completely wrong or had no validity whatsoever and thankfully I had asked Eunice to be with us and to feel free to speak up whenever the urge hit her!! Eunice finally had her "fill" of the BS we were dealing with and asked, then somewhat demanded, to know just where Max was on the National Donor Transplant List and just what the Iowa City, Iowa VA Hospital was doing for him!!

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! NOTHING WHATSOEVER!!

Eunice "pressed" a lady psychiatrist that Max has had to see as part of "the process" monthly forever it seems!! Eunice demanded to know just where Max was in the miles of red tape we have conquered, or so we thought!! After much hemming and hawing, this woman finally said, "Well, quite honestly, Iowa City is simply not considering Max for either the kidney he so urgently needs or the liver"!!

Why after these years of jumping through hoops and being at Iowa City VA's beckon call!! Because I AM DISABLED AND IN A WHEELCHAIR!! Yes, Max is to suffer because I am disabled!!

Well who was going to oversee Max's care after the transplant surgery?
Who was going to the pharmacy and obtain his necessary prescription medications and who was going to dispense them daily to him. Who was going to see that he ate properly, got adequate exercise and rest, and was cared for at times when he could not care for him self???!!!
Well, the simple answer to these questions is the same damn person who has been doing it for the last thirty plus years!!!
ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! and ME!!

Can any one direct me to the best discrimination law firm in the entire United States? Can any one write their Senators and Representatives in Max and my behalf?

As you may easily see, I am yet beyond discussing this situation without the worst anger I have ever had emerging from every fiber of me!! And, as an added bonus the VA is sending in yet another siege of "Visiting Nurses", "Social Workers" and "Physical Therapists"!! I got to the point of threatening the last "Nurse" with my friend, "Betsy Winchester", and I will gladly do it again!! I can still remember my own Physical Therapist tightening his grip on me and whispering, "they will cuff you and take you to jail"!! As I told him then, I do not care as it will give me publicity to this atrocity they refer to as Iowa VA system!! Well, I truly would never do harm to any other individual as has been done to Max and my self!!

For the record, I have climbed ladders and I have crawled down an entire flight of stairs on my belly to get what I needed done and I will do what ever it takes to keep my little family of three's best welfare and safety as my only purpose in this life together!! I am dealing with the loss of use of my legs, not my brain and fortitude to take care of this family. I will do what ever is needed to take care of the three of us!! I have set my self back many times in getting things done that needed to be when I had no other options!! I have taught my self how to get things done, albeit perhaps quite "unconventionally", but all the while done!! And, thus far, I have been fortunate to hire extra outside help when the need has presented it self!! We have never went without any thing we needed or for that matter wanted!!

I can not believe that there is some one who does not have any idea of who I am or what I am made of has the power to possess a rubber stamp that denies my husband the right to his life!!

PRAY you never need to rely on any Veteran's rights and benefits in Iowa City, Iowa!!

GOOD GRIEF - Wednesday, March 03, 2010

I do not ask for too much!! Why can I not just curl up in my stitching nest and just stitch any more?!!

I have been fighting my new home renovations for weeks now and am ever so close to finishing them. I am HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, with each, and every, one of them - well almost!! I do not like, no I honestly HATE draperies!!

I worked till I was ready to drop yesterday trying to finish up every thing I had here available for me to do!! I can not make up my mind on the bathroom curtains, shower curtains, rugs, etc. I am hedging on "toasted almond", but I do not plan on ever redoing any thing ever again!! Thus, I want to be absolutely sure positively!!

I had to hang the living room draperies yesterday. Kathy K. had called me for our afternoon chat and had very much tried to discourage me from trying this. I thought with my directing Max could do the actions!!
WRONG!! I attempted to make a few climbs, however, my legs screamed in worst pain I have had in awhile and reminded me do not do this stupid!! Thus, I thought if I got all the drapery hooks placed that Max could just put them in the traverse rod holes. I have a set of pinch pleated sheers and "silks supremes" to hook. I got most of sheer draperies done and was thinking we surely could do this job easily!! I then promptly run a drapery hook in the middle of my middle finger on my left hand to have it exit the top of my finger!! OUCH!! OUCH!! OUCH!! Not quite, I had some of the worst words I could ever imagine flow out profusely from me along with a whole lot of blood I was trying to keep off the draperies!! So much for stitching!!

This morning Miprezious had an appointment with a new Groomer. I had instructed Max to stay inside the home of the Groomer today so as Mi could get acquainted with the Groomer and we could evaluate if they got along well or not. I will not leave Mi any where she shows any apprehension at all!! Max can NOT drive any longer alone and honestly it is down right scary to ride with him!! I will gladly take world's worst roller coaster over ride with Max any where any more!! I gathered up my "Windows 7" instruction books and Max loaded them in the van. I planned on simply staying in the van and reading. As usual, Max did not pay any attention to me and promptly came outside after just dropping Mi and running!! I was very irate, but agreed to go to breakfast and come back for her!!

Max went in to pick her up and simply did not return. I had the worst feeling in pit of my stomach that I would be seeing the Paramedics pull up to this home as no one knew I was sitting outside in the van when he did not return. Soon, the Groomer and her assistant came out to the van with Mi and Max was sheeply following them. They promptly told me that Max had fallen down a goodly number of stairs as far as they could tell as they did not witness the full fall, but rather just Max rolling down the steps and onto the floor. The Groomer was just overwrought with fear Max had been severely hurt. Max simply kept saying all was okay until the Groomer and her assistant disappeared and then the complaining began and went on and on!! Evidently, Max did get hurt quite badly, but as of this evening, he still is in complain state and refuses to see a doctor!! Wait till about midnight when every thing always worsens for any one with any thing it seems!!

Thus, I am back to reading my "Windows 7" books tonight and simply staring at my stitching!! I am contemplating on how I can safely touch my fabric though and hope to get back to stitching very soon!! I have gotten through much worse stitching dilemas and will surely again.

I did call my "faux designer" who did the painting of my new rooms and she said she would be right over to assist me with my draperies this afternoon. After four hours she "Googled" on suggestions to handle traverse rods!! Followed suggestions step by step and she now has the drapery traverse rods in pieces across the living room. She went home about supper time with promise of returning first thing tomorrow morning to get this job done one way or another!! I can only hope!!

GOOD GRIEF, I am so glad this day is gearing down!! Tomorrow is a fresh and new day that I will rejoice in seeing come!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

FEBRUARY 19, 2010 - A SIMPLY WONDERFUL WEEK

I most gladly wrote Debbie her first, of hopefully very many, paycheck this afternoon. It is most assuredly going to cost me a few pieces of stash per week and an overall budget tightening!!

However, she has earned every single penny she got!! I have finally begun to HOPE again for the first time in the last several years!! My house is once again becoming my home. Debbie seems to have the same "mind set" as my self!! She can recognize a problem and either immediately remedies it or disposes of it for good - while only mentioning it to me to be sure I agreed.

Unless you have had to depend on some one else for most every thing you can not understand how great it is to have finally found some one who can think for them self while considering how I would think about the same. For the last few years, I have had to experience such things as "What do you want me to do today?" And, while I would frustratingly usually reply, "clean the house". To immediately hear, "All the house. You mean the bathroom also." And, I would have to indicate yes I meant the entire house and either changing the bed linens or doing the general laundry. I would have to stay alert to every thing going on, or in many cases "NOT" going on the entire eight hours our usual Caregiver was here!!

From Debbie's first day, it was minutes after me telling her she was hired "is it okay to start changing the bed linens"!! While my reaction was apprehension as I could not show her the lower level of our home and there was no one available at the time who could. Debbie's answer, "I can find a washing machine knowing there is one"!!

Max and I had to go to some banking that required our personal attention this morning first thing. Debbie teaches two classes, very early morning at YWCA each morning. We decided we would venture out alone as our bank is only two blocks from our home. We arrived home just after Debbie had arrived. She came to the van to help transfer me and Miprezious went crazy to see her. I was uncertain if Mi would even remember Debbie as she was so ill the first part of this week. Mi is always leashed when ever she is out of entry of our home. Thus, she immediately went to Debbie and since it takes so long for me to transfer, Debbie took her for a stroll down our driveway. Miprezious was escatic to be able to be outside even for those few minutes!!

All I can say, is Debbie got into "That Room" today and spent a majority of her time there. I had a "nasty" night last night and when this happens nothing will do until I get at least a few hours nap. Thus, as soon as we got home this morning I went back to bed!! I asked Debbie to get me up by noon as I do not want my days and nights mixed up again. When she did I was amazed at the many boxes she had gotten, and began to sort, "That Room" into some managable tasks. I had began downsizing all my "stash" late last year. I had began looking through hundreds of books and magazines for things people had asked from me. I have post-it notes every where!! My new bathroom "vinyl", or whatever it is called (never have had any thing, but carpet my entire life in all bath rooms), entrance foyer new flooring and living room carpet are going to be installed next Wednesday. Thus, I think it will be a week some what in "limbo", however, we will be pretty much forced to spend the entire time in my "Stitching Sanctuary"and I intend to make some tremendous progress there. I am declaring war on my stash downsizing to begin on or before March 01 and I do not intend to let any thing get in my way until it is fully completed this time around. Knowing Debbie is truly backing me up on any thing I want done I have the greatest of hopes this will be IT!!

I have a stash downsizing plan and I am going to get it done!! My UFOs are becoming history!! My WIPs are going to be organized and placed where I can reach them. I should begin a contest of guessing how many WIPs I will be putting in a new album to keep my self accountable to doing some thing to each one. This may be the first full month rotation ever known!!

Debbie has part of her home that is an apartment. She rents currently to an 82-year old lady who does mostly cross stitch. She visits her daily and does now some what understand cross stitch. She has also chatted with me about teaching her to cross stitch on days she is not working for us. I have wanted some one to cross stitch with locally for years!! This would be fantastic!! Many months ago, Granny Lou, who is 85-years old and cross stitches daily, Eunice and a few others I can not recall used to meet each Friday afternoon and cross stitch together here. Eunice only did this under protest and has not kept up with her project!! It would be fantastic to get some thing like this restarted also.

Thus, I have always gave my Blog reader's first chance at all the "Stash To Go". I intend to do this again. Hopefully, soon I will start listing what there is that must go!! Kathy K. has taught me to "copy and paste" quite well so hopefully I can picture most of the items. That camera and I need some serious practice sessions and lots of tutoring, however, I am also going to make this a priority. No one is going to believe all the things I have managed to finish since Halloween. I have had few finishes for the entire past few years total, but I have finally got some speed acquired.

I have been stitching on the new Just Another Button Company Months of this Year January Teaspoon most of this week. I have a very nice finish to show on it!! I also just about finished a new bookmark!! An incredible week for me!!

Thus, Max and I are daring to go out this evening!! This is not been done in a very long time!! Albeit, we are just going a few blocks to our church "Game Night" we ARE getting out!!

Things are beginning to go my way and I am becoming a very happy camper again!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2010

WHAT A DAY!!! Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Hello To All!!

Yes, I am still here!! No, I have not quite mastered the camera with this new computer yet!! But, I am making progress. I have things set aside that go way back to Halloween!!

I am hoping and praying that today is the first day of my last interviewing and instructing potential Caregivers.

I hired a Canine Nutritionist for Miprezious the week of our past Thanksgiving. Her name is Maggie and she is the BEST!! When I first met Maggie I was so distraught over the horrific news we had just received about our beloved Miprezious that I completely overlooked the fact she was obviously pregnant!! She had her fifth lovely little boy a few weeks ago. It turned out to a very complicated and serious C-section delivery for her and her darling little Frankie. In the midst of the worst ice storm I have ever seen Maggie and baby Frankie were rushed by ambulance to the Iowa University Hospital, about 90 miles west of us.

Maggie and her husband, John, are two of the most terrific people we have ever met!! They have a lovely family of five boys. Maggie and Frankie were hospitalized for about two weeks. We got to meet the new little man last Friday. He is absolutely a real sweetie!! He still needs a bit of oxygen and various monitoring, however, Maggie has him in her shop all bundled in a cute little bassinet and he did not seem to mind our peeking at him at all.

Maggie and John have a very cute and very at home feeling shop. However, with Max's continued problems we rarely go out any more if he has to drive. Thus, Maggie recognized our problems very early on our meeting her and quite soon Maggie volunteered to bring Miprezious' meals and treats to our home!! It turns out they live about one block from us and could actually be called "neighbors". As with all our neighbors they are most helpful and caring to us!!

Max and I were absolutely astonished when we received a telephone call early the morning following Frankie's birth!! Maggie had left instructions with a relative of hers to contact us and make sure Miprezious had her meals and treats!! We were in utter disbelief that Maggie cared so much to check on us!!

Maggie and John make all Miprezious' meals fresh from real foods. John seems to be the baker and makes very yummy cookies and biscuits. Miprezious seems to favor the ones that have real cranberries in them. We generally need to replenish her meals and treats every seven to ten days. Maggie has taken the time to personally talk with Miprezious' doctor and has done much research on her kidney failure.
Very wonderful family and are truly TOP of our list of favorites.

About ten days after Frankie was born I got to chat with Maggie on the telephone while they were still at the hospital. Maggie was having John bring Miprezious refills of her meals and treats. Maggie also told me that a friend of theirs was just starting a Caretaker business. Maggie's recommendation was gold to me. I got very busy the following days my self and I had just not gotten to calling this lady to chat about coming to work for us. I had it on my mind, but just could not make the decision to restart a new Caregiver again!! About this same time, I received a telephone call from Debbie. Her name alone just made her have to be good!! Debbie was ready, willing and able, but I was the problem of simply making the decision to start over again with yet some one else new. Max and Miprezious both especially are requiring more care recently and they are also the hardest to get to make changes or remake our schedules anew again!!

Wanda had come back to help out as much as she could. However, with her working full-time every day and her membership in a great number of organizations made her time with us very limited. Eunice also had been discussing some one she recently met who was interested in working for us. I also very much value and appreciate Eunice's choices and she still does way too much for us her self!! All things considered, I was just unable to make a decision of what to do. I am right in the middle of our Spring cleaning and redecorating!! Each day I am greeted with a very small area, of the almost 200" front picture window, having draperies in place while the larger remaining area covered with Christmas wrapping paper!! A few days ago, Debbie had called me again to check if I had made a decision on hiring her. I suddenly felt like I was "drowning" with too much left undone with the new flooring installation getting closer each day, laundry piles beginning to accumulate, dust bunnies starting to retake the fire place mantle, bathroom tiles to be waxed along with the front window looking like hillbillies had taken over, I finally decided ENOUGH!! I told Debbie I would be most happy if she could begin as soon as possible with us!!

Debbie arrived at 9:00 a.m. this morning!! She is a very pleasant lady who needs little instructing!! Within minutes of her arriving, she asked could she begin changing the linens on our beds!! I told her I had just bought all new linens in my attempt to "freshen" each room in my home. Debbie then asked if I was ready to use the new linens and I told her I assuredly was more than ready. Debbie pointed out that with my very fair skin she guessed that washing the new bed linens would be a good idea. I told her I would love to have them washed, however, I did not have any one available to give her a tour of our lower level and washer and dryer, etc. Debbie promptly said she was capable of finding a washer and dryer and that it would be no problem. She then began to replace the bedskirts. With "the beds" you must get a very large Phillips screw driver and remove several screws and brackets. I had no idea of this!! Debbie promptly located the tools she needed to put the new bed- skirts on, BUT she additionally asked if I would mind if she starched and ironed the new bedskirts as they came out of their zippered bags quite wrinkled!! She also asked if I would mind her dusting and rehanging the canopy. Now, I have NEVER had a Caregiver who did any thing like this "procedure" even upon my direct asking them to!! I was totally astonished that she pointed out these things needed to be done before she could complete changing the beds!! Additionally, this lady gently reminded me I had been up on my legs much longer than she thought I should be and suggested I just sit down and stitch!! I truly thought I was having a "nasty" day with my morphine and that this truly could not be real and actually happening in my home!!

Soon, Max's bus arrived and was waiting for me to appear in the doorway before they begin to help Max get off the bus and in to the house. Debbie immediately asked if Max would be upset if a "stranger" went out to bring him in the house!! It is freezing Iowa!! We have a long driveway and Max now moves very slowly!! Have I gotten a crazy person working for us!!

For the first time in years, I was seeing my house become my beautiful home again. AND, I was fast thinking, I am just giving "yes" and "no" answers to questions and was not having to tell Debbie every move needed to be done.

Lunch time came. Debbie asked what did we want for lunch!! Now, I really thought I was still sleeping and only dreaming or my meds were really kicking my rear today!! We usually make breakfast and lunch, one meal, on dialysis days. Max and I simply are not used to meals prepared for us since before we had the doctor ordered "meals on wheels" delivered each day!! I always have fresh bran muffin batter in my refrigerator so that they can be made at any time. My mother had just requested that I make her a new batch of batter so I had made another for us also. Soon we had the nicest lunch of fresh hot bran muffins and fresh fruit that Debbie had peeled and sliced!! I was then sure I had to have still been fast asleep and in dream trance!!

After lunch, I noticed the large bins of laundry were disappearing. Not only was the laundry disappearing the drawers that held the clean laundry were being emptied on to the beds and were being cleaned and reorganized!! Every thing was beginning to look like my pre-accident
perfect order clean and shinning!!

Late this afternoon, Debbie came looking for me and wanted to know what I had planned for our dinner and could she prepare and/or
cook it!! The plan is to fix our dinner the days she actually is here and to have the other days prepared as far as she could make them ahead!!

Debbie also finally said she could not help, but notice how bad my legs and especially heels have hardened. She said she had previously worked for a podiatrist and could she massage a softening cream in to them.
Have not had this done in years as I am too embarassed to go in to the salons any more. I am in dreamland!!

My house is again a perfect home!! I am anxiously awaiting Friday to get here as Debbie will be back!!

NO ONE WAKE ME!!

Okay, I only had my lovely "trance" until about noon. Miprezious was a bit less awake and looking for a place to nest after Max's taxi had picked him up at 5:00 a.m. However, she has her less perky days now and then. However, by noon, even Debbie was asking if she should call Mi's vet and/or Maggie and she had just met her. Miprezious has had a very "nasty" day and her evening has not gotten much better. My heart has skipped many beats over the course of this day and evening. Mi's doctor was not very optimistic when I first noticed some thing was wrong last Thanksgiving. We have only had the option of changing her food and simply watching her. She had a day or two like this just before Christmas, but she recovered nicely. I have been praying a whole lot as there is little else we can do!!

My mail came and I did have a few surprises!! I received a very cute cross stitch kit from a lady in my ILCS Group. It is a patriotic design that is to be finished in a really nice card frame. It will be a real welcome decoration that will look very nice all year. I truly thought I had received this by mistake. It is from Lily. I have had so little online time that I have missed so many of the nice gals who have recently joined my groups. I have yet to really be introduced to Lily, but she has to be a very nice gal to have sent me such a pleasant surprise. I am now also looking forward very much to getting to know Lily hopefully in the near future. I also received the "Advent Angel" chart I won in the 123.Stitch January drawing. She is a beautiful angel, but just not my favorite to stitch any time in the near future. I am overall attempting to complete my downsizing and this lovely angel will be shortly looking for a new home with some one who is interested in stitching her!! And, finally I received my very first H.A.E.D. chart - all 35 pages of it!! I chose the "Candlelight and Moonlight" chart. All the blues just called out to be in my new living room!! However, I predict this will be the rest of my life project!!

And, I did get my living room repainted by the "faux paint designer" I hired to paint it. She described the new paint to resemble simply just sitting in a cloud and we truly got just that. I have been waiting for all the new draperies to arrive as the sheers need to be hung first and they are back ordered till at least March 09. The new carpet is to be installed on February 24. I definitely will be getting pictures of this.

The bathroom is needing about a day's work yet to be completed. However, the majority of all the wall tiles have been waxed and are shinning very brightly. Debbie did clean and reorganize the entire linen closet today and has told me to leave the other cabinets for her next day here. And, this new flooring will also be installed on February 24.

I found out two people who are very loved by us are very ill while at church Sunday. I feel very helpless to do any thing for these two. Thus, I have found a very nice bookmark by Jeanette Crews Design that I hope go very well for me to stitch and complete soon for each of them.

I have just also started the Just Another Button Company 2010 Monthly Series of Teaspoons. Originally, I have been very diligent in getting the 2009 Tea Cups and the 2008 Tea Pots. I heard "teaspoons" and thought great as they did not sound too interesting to me. Surely I would not want to stitch teaspoons!! And, then I got a glimpse of them. They were instant "must haves"!!

I have several Little House Needleworks pieces started. I did not even know these existed till Kathy K. pointed me to them!! Now, it seems I have an entire notebook devoted to just Little House Needleworks charts!!

I also started a Brooke's Books perforated paper birth sampler for a baby girl. I have never been so frustrated with such a small little piece of cross stitching!! I have every angel and perforated paper kit that Brooke has designed. I can only hope all the different angel series goes much easier than this one!!

I have gathered up all my doll's houses and plan to devote many days of the week to each of their individual constructions!! I love to stitch houses. I got my new copy of Just Cross Stitch today and got a glimpse of a new "building" series they are also beginning!!

And, to see Karen's newest Newsletter earlier this evening with all I have at arm's reach. Karen owns Wasatch Mountain Stitching and her Newsletter is full of the new Nashville Market updates!! So many new things and no space to place them!! My beloved "Stitching Sanctuary" is literally closing in on me!! I have to downsize!!

I also opened my mouth and told the Sunday School teachers I would be glad to resume an old tradition I had years ago, again pre-accident. I agreed to purchase and fill two pinatas for a special treat for the children's Easter celebration!! In researching my online sites for these I found they now have bags, sold by the pound, with pre-mixed candy and small toys to fill the pinatas with. This should make it an easy project!!
Famous last words!!

And, now I go to start planning my start of "Candlelight and Moonlight".
All 35 pages of it. I have to ask some of the "pros" if I am totally crazed in thinking I want to stitch it on a 22-Count white Aida I have staring at me.

Hopefully, I will start to learn how to post pictures as I have so many to post and share!! And, I hope to get some additional online time to get my Blog in to an interesting format. I truly want to get to know so many of the new people in my groups also!!

Just DO NOT WAKE ME!! If I wake to Debbie again on Friday I will make these wheels learn to happy dance!! I am very much torn between is this too good to be true or have I finally went through enough Caretakers that I finally have found the right one!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah and Max
and
Miprezious, too!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, January 04, 2010

Par to course, Better Late Than Never!!
Nevertheless,
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

Since my computer crash a few months ago, nothing has been the same on my computer, thus no pictures, few updates, and any thing else that could go wrong with my computer literacy!!

BUT,
Out With The Old, And In With The New!!

I must have been a VERY good girl (most likely NOT), or a certain husband forgot his 30th Wedding Anniversary (give or take a few, depends on memory of who is counting-LOL!! Yes, I can laugh about it now!!)!!
Thus, I have got the best and biggest HP Computer which comes in a "Bundle" with speakers, 20" Flat Screen Monitor and whatever else it takes for the whole thing!!
And, Eunice has convinced me that I need and she will find some computer courses for me!! And, I agree whole heartedly!!

As for the heated debate over tile or carpet in our main bathroom, I do NOT agree!! Every one who knows the details well votes without any doubt that TILE is the only choice!! I was beginning to give a bit and had decided to actually go out and look at tile. However, during my end of December bout of bronchitis, walking pneumonia and a bit of flu instantly changed my mind as I shivered each time I needed the bathroom from the moment I entered it until at least ten minutes buried under a pile of blankets on our "wonder" (still wondering how in the world, I let Max convince me to all him to buy this $6,003.37 Therm-O-Pedic Adjustable Bed) bed that instantly heats up just from your own body heat and the super-duper (FLOP-did I actually call it as it is) mattress!! I know my limits well and I have had enough of our new deep-freeze bathroom since loosing it's carpet. Some where there is humor in this "incident", however, I am yet able to find it, so believe me simply do NOT ask!! No one has the stomach for this Max Moment!!

BUT, I AM ABSOLUTELY, OVER-THE-VERY-TOP H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY,
H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y!!!!

To start, I am able to say, "NO change in conditions"!! My Max and my Miprezious appear to be doing fairly well!!
For months, I have seen nothing, but continued deterioration in my Max. I long ago decided there was little else I could expect. I have conditioned my self to seeing ESRD on every thing concerning Max. For months, seeing ESRD, usually resulted in a world of tears accompanying every shower I took and many times I have had several showers in the same day. I have come to terms with End Stage Renal Disease!! It will no longer rule our lives!!

Max is by no means going to heal and get better. However, I am not going to have to intro my self each time I call the gods who run the Transplant Unit!! They are going to learn to know me by the very tone of my voice. I am going to begin my letter writting campaigns to every one including OPRAH again!! And, you can bet the farm, I am going to begin calling the "gods" and continue to ask "what number are we this week" and if things begin to look steadily not so good, as I have become all too familiar with the past few months, my calls will escalate to "what number are we today"!! We will never give up the one thing that the "gods" can not take from us and that is HOPE!! I am no longer terrified for my self when it comes to my own survival staying totally alone in a strange motel, in a strange city 90 miles from our home!! The last few months have been literal survival training and I have thus far overcome all the obstacles we keep having pop up and attempt to knock us over again!!

No, things are still not "heaven on earth" in our home, but they are also no longer a "living Hell on earth" on the flip side!! I had to tell Max he could no longer just quietly leave at 5:30 A.M. each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday after getting me settled in my chair with every thing I could possibly need for the following four and one-half hours. I finally had to tell Max he was no longer allowed to drive him self to dialysis. Our regular quiet morning routine has turned into a frantic "if" the city taxi cab will show up at all, much less on time, to take Max in to his Dialysis Center!!
And, each dialysis day, Miprezious will begin to get anxious about 10:00 a.m. awaiting "Daddy" to be back home. She has just started insisting that I sit on the sofa with her, in front of the big picture window, so she can hang over the back of the sofa awaiting the first sound of the Municipal Transit special disability bus straining up our hill returning her "Daddy"!!

Max still needs most of my attentions!! However, I think he has begun to learn to at least "ask" before "acting" before he does much of any thing. I believe he has grown to realize and know he is confused and does not see things correctly and to depend on me to be there to sort every thing out for him, regardless if it takes three to four times over and over!! It has truly lessened my load by leaps and bounds as I do not feel like I have to watch him every moment of every day any longer!! Max is in pain that never lets up for him, however, he rarely complains about it at all. He is very fragile and is very prone to falls. There is very little I can do when he does fall, except to pick up the phone and see which neighbor is available. The neighbors are all still the very best and who can be nothing short of our guardian angels!! I would guess that they all would have their Caller ID units programmed to flash P.I.T.A. each time we telephone them, but yet they still "claim we are no bother" to all of them!!

It appears, probably more "wishful thinking" that Max has hit a plateau presently. He seems to be the same, although he is getting weaker each day. Max still feels, and God love him does better than he can do for him self, he HAS to take care of me!! He still has his rituals of getting me up and helping me get back into bed every night. I am beginning to be able to spend more time back in my "Stitching Sanctuary"!! Max comes to the doorway each night and will always say, "let me know when you are ready to go to bed". However, before I can get my self out in to the living room, he will be laid back in his recliner sleeping away as he does about all day and evening. He continues to get up in the night and wander, but I have learned to just let him get up as he will surely end up in the recliner fast asleep within minutes of his getting out of bed. I rely on Miprezious to bark if he dares to move a bit!!

We rarely go out whatsoever any more!! Our groceries are ordered on the computer and delivered the following morning, our laundry is dropped off and picked up at a full-service laundromat by a caregiver, my hair upkeep is done by one of the gals from my shop coming in to our home, our bills are all paid online and most all our purchases for any sort of needs are bought via the computer also. We pretty much only go out for medical related appointments!! Our big outing is usually church when we both are able to go. And, all is relatively going well with out the benefit of any relatives!!

Miprezious seems to be doing well. There are few, if any, laboratory tests that can be done for Mi. There is a blood test that is well over $200 that does tell us what her status is. However, after a REALLY bad initial first day for both of us, I got us together and we hired a canine nutritionalist. "Maggie" now prepares all of Mi's main meals. She also makes all her treats homemade. They mainly consist of dried apples, dried blueberries and homemade blueberry cookies!!
We thought there was not a chance in this world that Mi was going to even look at this new food, much less try it and surely would not eat it!! However, par to course, she fooled us once again!! Miprezious LOVES her new diet and the foods it allows. And, she loves her "Maggie" treats and "Maggie" dinners!! In fact, the first few days, we would place her food in her plate and she actually gobbled it down and then demanded seconds!! We will gladly pay for all the blood work the Vet wishes to pursue, but at this point, it truly matters little. And, can we really handle knowing each day that she is actually failing despite the fact we are doing absolutely every thing we possibly can do for her!!
Mi appears to be in no pain, whatsoever, and, more importantly she is an extremely happy little "furbaby" who becomes more dear to us both each day!! Mi had a wonderful Christmas and had more wrapped gifts around the wonderful "plum" Christmas tree than the very most spoiled child on this earth. Actually, she got so in to opening her gifts and trying to play with each as she progressed that we had to give her a "time out" in the midst of her festivities!!
I finally had to make her go in to the bathroom with her "Daddy" to simply make her catch her breath again and slow her heart beat down considerably. It did not take her very long to come charging back in to the living room with full steam ahead!! This time Max, and/or my self, helped her with each gift so she would not be quite so wild!! She sort of had us both worried Christmas Day as she was completely listless and did nothing, but sleep. Mi was simply trying to recoup her energies from Christmas Eve. Mi has become more of a lap little one in past month which was some thing she rarely would do. There is no complaining from me when she wants to be held as it is quite nice after a "trying" day!!

AND, NOW PRETEND TO HEAR A BIG DRUM ROLL................................
For my self!! I was one sick dog for several days!! On Sunday, December 20, I got quite ill in church. I got chills that would not stop!! Chills is just some thing that does not occur to me with my illness. The nerve system that controls my body temperatures is destroyed and does not work any longer. I have to be quite careful regarding getting too hot and too cold. In the eight years of my illness, I can remember no seiges of being too cold, much less ever having chills!! The following day was our 30th wedding anniversary!! We surely had no big plans, in fact, I was scheduled to have my knees and shoulder joints injected so they would have another attempt to work a bit better. I was too ill, but almost welcomed seeing my doctor. I was then diagnosed with the bronchitis, walking pneumonia and touch of flu!!
I was placed on two powerful antibiotics in hopes of being able to get well as I was needed far more here at home than being able to take the time to be hospitalized!! I progressed well in spite of the antibiotics making me even much worse sick than I was. After just a few days, I decided enough of them!! I was very sick prior to them, but I was REALLY sick with them!! I spent more time in the bed, although I could not have luxury of actually sleeping, for very little of the time, for fear of what woulld happen without my ever on duty watching eye!!

Christmas arrived. I was quite bummed that we were not able to attend candlelight midnight Mass or even Christmas morning Mass as the weather was quite snowy combined with a lot of ice!! However, we had a very nice Christmas holiday, even though it was probably one of the most quiet I have ever experienced in my life!! We had spent the Thanksgiving holiday with our parish priest, however, she detached a retina in her eye Thanksgiving night and had to have surgery just before Christmas holiday. It was the beginning of the nice, even and quiet days we have been having in this household.

During the Christmas/New Year time, I noticed my feet had went ice cold!! No matter what I did, which was little, as I can not tolerate any type of stocking and/or shoe on either foot. I simply could not get this overwhelming ice cold effect to leave either foot.

This past Saturday evening was great!! I had spent almost the entire evening in my stitching nest stitching and truly seemed to not have a care in this world!! The weather had turned even worse than it had been the previous several days. It was both snowy, with an ice covering and the temperatures were between minus ten to twenty below zero once again. Max and I had decided we would not even attempt going to Mass the next morning. We always have to consider that Max has to pretty much push my wheelchair up to the church entrance. We have been assigned a parking place as close to the entrance as there is, but it is still about a regular home's house and yard!! The church members have insisted we telephone when we leave our home about five blocks from the church. They are most willing to come out and assist me and let Max get him self inside, but he will not hear of this. I am pretty much trying to place a leg flat on the ground and give a push off with it to keep my wheelchair continuing to proceed ahead.
However, all things considered we just decided it was best to not even plan on going to church the next morning.
Thus, Max fell asleep in his chair as he does most evenings and actually stayed that way until about 2:00 a.m. I was more than content to just continue on with my stitching and I did with great pleasure!!

About 2:00 a.m., Mi decided that she wanted to be put to bed and she began barking very loudly in the hall that separated Max and I. Thus, we both were suddenly on alert and attention to her!! I decided to just stand up in front of my chair to get my bearings and to let Mi see that I was paying attention to her just to get her to stop barking!! I had a strange eerieness in both legs immediately. I actually looked, and looked again, as I felt I had spilled some thing or I had possibly wet my self!! We have a golden rule in our home and it is you go directly to "the Home" if you should wet your self that we regularly joke about between each other. I thought there was no way that this could have happened to me, but every thing was running rampant through my mind at this point in time!!

I continued to simply just stand there!! I finally sat my self back down in my stitching nest once again. I simply could not decide what was happening to my legs and feet!! Soon, I finally figured out absolutely nothing had happened, or was happening, to my legs and feet except the fact I was standing on carpet!! After almost eight years, I could feel the carpet under my feet!! Max came in to me and tried to steady me up a bit and I took actual STEPS!!
I actually took steps!! Max insisted I stop and not push my luck a bit further!! He insisted that we go to bed. I started to rub my feet and legs against the soft sheet under me and I could feel I was laying on an actual sheet!! Both of my feet felt like they were immersed and tied into bags of water!! It was an extremely strange feeling, BUT it WAS FEELING!! I have not had any feeling in my legs and feet during the past eight years, except excruciating pain. I did not have pain!! The rest of my body is still requiring the intense doses of morphine, however, my legs and feet continue to feel almost every thing and I want to just spring forward on them!! I know I have to take this "thing" very slow and very careful, but I am so elated over FEELING and real STEPS!! Everyone keeps warning me to be careful, take it slow, don't try to take too many steps, just try a few steps a day, etc., etc., etc.!! Eunice is still in utter disbelief. Max just continues to tell me not to keep my weight on my legs and feet all at once and says my legs and ankles are literally swelling up as he looks. This has already made my year!! There is no one or any thing that is going to stop me now!!

I have had my "balloon" broken many times previously!! I am all too well aware of this yet each day. But, I have so much hope, that nothing can happen that we can not handle and this is finally going to be OUR YEAR!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah and Max
and
Miprezious, too!!