DEBORAH, MAX and MIPREZIOUS DEE DEE

Lost This Picture In Las Post

2012-01-31T15:27:00.001-08:00

Here I am with the "thing"!! Trying to hold my breath!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

STINKY STINKY PRETTY and PSALM 23 UPDATE

2012-01-31T14:58:00.001-08:00

I have been doing amazingly well with my Psalm 23 I think. I think I may get another miracle and have it done for the March 01 birthday!!
It truly is becoming very beautiful.
Several have commented that the border is not as hard as it appears. I have been giving it a lot of great thoughts as I am stitching the words yet as to how I should go at it.
Only MY mother would send my brother off to buy her a single flower bulb that cost $80!!! I just want to know how much she is going to have to pay to have her home fumigated!! This flower is called a "Voodoo Lily". It is truly exquisite to view. However, it gives off a stench only possibly compared to a houseful of dead mice!! It is horrible!! It truly stings your eyes, nose and mouth and takes your breath away!!
I took my mother supper last night and I could not stay long enough to eat with her. I felt like I was actually eating this awful stench!! She is just lucky it is so cold outside or she would have every fly in the state of Iowa in her home abiding on this thing.
And, it is no little thing either. I did not care to have my picture taken today, but mother insisted I stand beside it to show how high it truly has grown. I am almost six feet tall, however, I now can no longer stand up straight. My brother had to brace the bottom of this stalk. You evidently have to keep this dormant in your basement from the time you dig it up in your yard in the fall until early spring. After it blooms and the weather warms up you plant it outside for the summer. It does very little outside, but that is how you keep this atrocity. I for one sure would not!!
Wish I was better with camera as pictures are sideways and a bit hard to view. Mother has several small "babies" from her bulb sitting at the base of it.
Mother tells of my while my father was still alive (they had other bulbs like this years ago even, just much cheaper to buy) years ago and he forgot about this "thing". He had placed it in a large dark storage room in the basement. When spring arrived so did this terrible stench and the hunt was on to find the dead critter some where in the house. My mother had every one looking in every inch of the home before they remembered the "thing" in the storage room.
The Quad-Cities is located near us about a hour away. I recently read in the newspaper where some people owned these "lilies" there. They have a beautiful indoor arboretum in that area and they take their lilies there to display and leave them until the stench has gone away.
These lilies only bloom once a year for about three to four days, thank the good Lord!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

MORE PROGRESS!!

2012-01-23T10:43:00.000-08:00

I believe I am truly making fantastic PROGRESS!! YEAH!!

I surely do not want to chance "bragging", but I truly think this is going to be a real beauty to be treasured. I have already been assured by the Pastor's wife that she LOVES this and that the Pastor will be absolutely appreciative and also love this piece. It is almost going to be hard to give it to him.

But, I am feeling such a closeness to Max the past few days and feel he is with me with each stitch. I can only wonder if my numerous tangles in my thread is not Max wanting my full attention as he so often would do in his practical jokes on me. And, unbelievably no tears!!

I think I am well past the half way point of this piece with the exception of this border. I have been dreading this border with a passion. However, I have received many comments from people who have done similar borders of "My Big Toe" and related the borders were an easy stitch and went rather quickly. Again, only time will tell.

One stitch at a time as my life goes on!!

Here is last week's progress!!
Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

PROGRESS - PSALM 23

2012-01-17T14:36:00.000-08:00

I began attending a brand new lady's circle meeting last week. It meets at our Pastor's home as his wife is leading this circle. The Pastor's wife suggested that I come early last week so as to assure me the best parking spot to try and accomodate my handicaps. Thus, I had some time with just the Pastor's wife prior to every one else arriving. I had taken "PSALM 23" along with me in hopes of getting some private time with her so she could view it for the first time. She LOVED it and knew exactly how small the fabric count, etc. was. I do not believe she stitches much as quiltting seems to be her favorite, but she sure knew enough about stitching to carry on quite a conversation about my piece.
I told her about Max's request of me to finish this piece and give it to the Pastor on this year's birthday of March 01. The Pastor spent his entire birthday day and evening with Max and my self as this was the day that Max announced "no more" and wanted us to get Hospice for him last year. The Pastor's wife assured me that the Pastor would absolutely NOT want me stressing out over having this piece finished on March 01 and that he was absolutely going to love it regardless of it's completion date. She told me she would love to be included on the finishing decisions and would be so honored to be part of choosing the frame, etc.

I am now quite relieved. I even began "My Stitch Angel" and have spent a few hours this past week on it. I also have "Proverbs" sitting next to me which is one I had backordered for quite some time and it just arrived complete with the Cashel linen for it. Thus, I am sure this one will also be calling out to me some time this week. Although, in my moments of pure insanity I think "I possibly could finish the Psalm if I truly put my total heart and soul in to it".

I am just verging on being about half way finished with the wording and pieces in center of the Psalm. But, I am also all too well aware of the border needing to be finished also as the Pastor's wife did LOVE the border on it.

Only time will tell.............., but I sure would not place any bets on this one!!
Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

PSALM 23 and VIRTUAL STITCH-IN January 07, 2012

2012-01-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 2012 NEW YEAR!!

Unfortunately, another tidal wave of grief swept over and drowned me on the evening of Thanksgiving and it is just now beginning to go away.
Yes, my friends made sure I had a "good" Christmas (have to post the lovely gift pictures as Debra Hall made me an exquisite quilted angel hanging and Kathy Kiley made me a very precious Christmas ornament), but nothing could hide I was truly alone. My entire family was Max and Miprezious and they are now gone so I have to truly try to create some other traditions for all the holidays. I am surely going to do better this year!!

The past few years I rarely left Max's bedside. There is no other place that I would have opted to be, however, those days were unbearably long and hard. Thankfully, I was blessed with my cross stitch. Max began reciting the 23rd Psalm with our Pastor almost daily. I do not believe in coinsequences!! However, just prior to this daily routine Max had started, I purchased PSALM 23 by MY BIG TOE. I do not know what possessed me to buy this originally, but I did. Once I realized I did have this chart and the fabric to stitch it on I excitedly showed them to Max. Max took great interest in my progress, which was barely nothing each day as hospital is not greatest place to try to stitch this large of a project, and he watched with great interest as I worked on it. About two weeks in to this project Max asked if I would do him a great favor and complete this project. Max truly knew my stitching ways!! I told him I would do my best, but that this project was going to take months. Max was well aware that he was in the process of passing from this earth a good two weeks prior to it actually happening. Max was rather alert the first two days of this time. In fact, it was Max (along with extensive chats with our Pastor) that decided he had enough struggles and pain and wanted to be placed on hospice. Being placed on hospice meant immediate termination of his despised dialysis and the fact he would pass within the following few days (Max clung to me for seven more days!!). Max made this decision on March 01 and the Pastor stayed with us all day and well into the evening that day to be with us. As the day progressed, the Pastor received a cell phone call that was from a large group of people singing "Happy Birthday" to him. I was so upset that the Pastor had spent his entire day and evening with us in spite of it being his own birthday, however, he kept assuring us it was where he wanted to be. During this day, Max wanted to chat with me while the Pastor was out of the room for a bit. Max asked if I would be sure and do some thing for him and I told him I would do any thing I could. Max asked me to finish the PSALM 23 and get it matted and framed the best I could do and give it to his dear friend, the Pastor, this year on his March 01 birthday. And, of course, I agreed. Max proceeded to smile the entire next hours and every one asked what he was so happy about and he kept answering he was going to get the best birthday gift ever.
Well, true to form, for me, I could not even stand to look at this project last year whatsoever. It kept coming to the top of my rotation and I would put it aside. Had it been any other piece of this size I probably would have put it in my perpetual UFO bin. I reasoned I would take it out on Christmas and get quite serious on it. Well, that surely did not happen. I still reasoned that I had three good months to do it if I restarted it on New Year's Day. And, I got it out and had every thing ready to stitch. And, big time reality hit!! I do not have a good three months as March does not count. Additionally, I am probably looking at a minimum of three weeks to have it framed. Thus, I have been stitching like a crazed driven woman the last week!!

Below, is a picture of my progress through Friday, January 06. The picture below it is my progress of a marathon ILCS "Virtual Stitch In" yesterday on Saturday, January 07.

Needless to say, I need to get my self back in to my stitching nest and have a "Virtual Stitch In" the entire rest of this month. My biggest problem is I keep falling asleep as I am too comfy in my nest! I hope the good Lord is threading each needle and taking each stitch with me!! I need a miracle!!

This piece will be beautiful, but I am only about one-third done with the main center. I will have days with that border. It very much reminds me of that horrible wedding sampler I did last May!!

And, life goes on. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .!! And, I will rejoice in it!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY TWELVE Twelve Days of Christmas December 12, 2011

2011-12-12T23:17:00.000-08:00

Another fabulous, and final, day to the I.L.C.S. Group "Twelve Days of Christmas"!! To begin with, my fantastic and generous "Santa" turned out to be Debbie Jo. She truly spoiled me beyond all imagination!!

Today I got a beautiful wooden laying tool. This is some thing I have always meant to get, but simply never did for one reason or another. I LOVE it!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU DEBBIE JO!! LOVE YA!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY TEN and DAY ELEVEN Twelve Days of Christmas December 11, 2011

2011-12-11T00:33:00.000-08:00

I slacked off and forgot to post yesterday's treasures. They are on bottom and today's is immediately below. I truly have had the VERY BEST Santa ever!!

This is Day Eleven!!

And, it brings a huge piece of my very favorite Cashel Linen in Summer Khaki. I now have three great Lizzie Kate's with their GAST threads and now the fabulous fabric!! How WONDERFUL!!

Below, is Day Ten, a day late!! And it was so special with beautiful recipe cards and some lovely snowflake stickers!! How special and I will always remember these when I use them for some thing special!!

I have been so very, very blessed!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY NINE Twelve Days of Christmas

2011-12-09T12:40:00.000-08:00

Oh, these wonderful gifts are so nice!! The tree is definitely becoming bare!!
And, this day brought another Lizzie Kate (my Fav!!) Flip-It Chart named "APRIL". All the lovely GAST threads are for stitching these fantastic Lizzie Kate charts. I now can begin a beautiful 2012 stitching year as I love to do these "monthly" things to change my decorating with each new month. I am going to strive to especially do this in coming new year in last ditch effort to truly feel I have a "home" again lonely as it is!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

MY CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS and DAY EIGHT Twelve Days of Christmas

2011-12-07T22:03:00.000-08:00

The tree is looking more bare each day!! I will have to try to do some thing about this. However, I had a few "pity party" days and I bought my self a fox vest, some outrageously expensive pure leather Italian shoes and a hundred percent pure cashmere sweater that I have been wanting for years. Perhaps, I can some how lay these things under the tree!!
Here is package number eight!! Another not so tired, after being tired all day long, night so I thought "why not"!!
MORE beautiful Gentle Arts Sampler Threads!! How wonderful!!
I got Victorian Pink, Hyacinth, Spring Grass, Tropical Ocean and Daffodil. These are so exquisite in color and texture!!

AND, now to the full pictures of tree I have been promising. If I live to be 1000, I will never learn the art of this camera. I don't want to be the best as I would be most grateful for just mediocre when it comes to this camera!!

Thus. pictures are not great, but here is my totally plum purple Christmas tree!! It does not look all the plum purple and actually looks more black unless you see it in person. I was most delighted the other day when Granny Lou came to check in on me. She told me of a visitor to her home the evening before that was just so taken with my purple Christmas tree!!

Thus, I guess it surely does show from out side!!

But, first is my nativity set. You have to look closely, as the white cloth has little LED lights throughout it's inside. They shine very brightly each evening. Much more importantly, my father built this stable for me just prior to his passing. The middle of our Iowa winters, my father was outside searching for twigs and sticks to build this stable!!

Below, is my flameless candle Gingerbread village. I have two Gingerbread stocking holders ordered for this also, but they have yet to arrive. It will look much better then.

And, finally the tree. My heart was not in this at all this year and unfortunately it looks like it!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY SEVEN Twelve Days of Christmas December 07, 2011

2011-12-07T12:21:00.000-08:00

WoW!! On the downward spiral of the Twelve Days of Christmas or should I say upwards as I am sure the Twelfth Day is going to be so special for every one.

Again, my plum purple tree, which I promise to get some photos of soon. I had a new friend invite me out last evening to dinner and tour a local park (that goes on for acres) that is decorated with hundreds of thousands of Christmas lights and displays. I got chilled and still can not get truly warmed up and I also am very tired. I have been working on stitching since 9:00 a.m. this morning and have only gotten two letters finished. This is insanity!! However, I am very blessed and grateful as I am sure many of you will remember that soon after my accident I only got SEVEN STITCHES accomplished in a six hour stitching period!! I actually put makeup on for the first time in months and my eyes are still a bit tearing from it also. But, hopefully I will pick up towards evening!!

And, here is gift Number Seven!!

And, it is some much needed Thread Heaven!!

THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY SIX Twelve Days of Christmas December 06, 2011

2011-12-06T12:06:00.001-08:00

AND, yet another day, another present!! Isn't this wonderful!!

And, my tree with ever decreasing presents under it.
The package of this day!!

And, it brings a beautiful and exquisite roll of wired edged metallic "Holiday Snowflake Ribbon"!! My favorite pink!! I love it!!

THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

To my yet unknown Santa!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY FIVE Twelve Days of Christmas December 05, 2011

2011-12-05T17:32:00.001-08:00

I never before ever realized just how horrible loosing some one you love could possibly be prior to loosing my beloved, Max. I lost my grandparents, father, matron of honor from my wedding and my very best friend in the world. I was able to grive and go on. I felt I was doing so well and actually coping in my loosing Max. But, this has changed drastically and I am backsliding very badly during these holidays. I have no other family other than my 84-year old mother. I value my mother dearly, however, she is homebound and can not hear a word I say to her.
I have friends and my pastor says a "church family", however, they all are so busy and have so many things they must do with the holidays. I do not expect any of them to have to stop their schedules for me. And, it seems they are not. It is not easy to get me and my equipment out and I fully understand this. Unfortunately, grieving is a process and you have to go through each step of it!! Most unfortunately, this includes these holidays!!

Thankfully, I have my stitching!! It is truly a great comfort and friend. I so wish it would just talk to me!!

I started the new project by Rovaris, "All Hearts Come Home For Christmas" on Friday. I am finding it to be just way too depressing and am deciding to put it aside (at least it will be in good company with so many others) for a bit. Very undecided what to pick up this evening, but can be sure there is a huge pile to choose from!!

Well, today is Number Five in our I.L.C.S. Twelve Days of Christmas so no problem with these gifts as it is one marked "day number five"!!
I will get some better pictures of my plum purple tree and post them in next day or so.
Day Number Five

And, Day Number Five has brought Lizzie Kate Flip-It "FOURTH OF JULY" Chart!! How wonderful!! I do believe I have gotten the GAST threads for these charts in last days. I see two new starts real soon!!

THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!

I still do not know who has been so wonderful to me!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY FOUR Twelve Days of Christmas December 04, 2011

2011-12-04T14:45:00.000-08:00

I have had an absolutely perfect weekend of stitching, along with "Virtual Stitch In" with I.L.C.S. I am working on Rovaris "ALL HEARTS COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS". I should have taken a picture, but I did forget and no going back now. I will post picture tomorrow. This is longest I have ever worked continually on one piece. I have the large middle heart, two small hearts and the word "All" done. This is very large piece all stitched in DMC 815 dark burgundy.

But, today is also Day Number Four in our I.L.C.S. "12 Days of Christmas"!! I was again spoiled beyond words!!

Below is my gift all under my "Plum Purple" Christmas tree. I will also try to remember to get some good pictures of this tree also. Perhaps, a bit more of my living room also. I will definitely post master bedroom some time next week!!

I got more of the fabulous Gentle Arts Sampler Threads!! This time I received Slate, Oatmeal, Presidential Blue, Buckeye Scarlet and Midnight. What beauties they are!!

My unknown benefactor has made this "12 Days of Christmas" a real delight and pleasure for me!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY THREE Twelve Days of Christmas December 03, 2011

2011-12-03T11:21:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday and Virtual Stitch In Day for I.L.C.S. Group. Thus, I will be stitching more intensely than usually!! Just did major damage at local cross stitch shop yesterday and added significantly to my existing 58 projects. I am still quite enthused about each and every one of them though. May let Halloween go to bottom of stack a bit though.

And, for more presents!! Day Three has brought exactly what I needed for a "Virtual Stitch In Day"!! CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATE AND MORE CHOCOLATE!!

I truly need to get pictures of my beautifully decorated living room and attempt to capture my plum purple Christmas tree. Oh, Max must be looking down sputtering at me again!! He HATED this tree with his very being!! I think it is exquiste and gorgeous!!
And, on to present!!

And, two Reese's Peanut Butter Trees and two York Peppermint Snowflake Patties!!

I am still trying to figure out who my generous Santa is!! I sure am being SPOILED!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY TWO Twelve Days of Christmas December 02, 2011

2011-12-02T08:45:00.001-08:00

Another new day and another surprise!! Day TWO!!

And under the tree!!
Found Package Number Two!!

AND, it is!! Lizzie Kate Flip-It Chart ST. PATRICK'S

And, I have been spoiled oh so very well again!!

Now, to wait till tomorrow!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAY ONE Twelve Days Of Christmas December 01, 2011

2011-12-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe, but it is the first day of the "Twelve Days of Christmas"!! Sure wish this could last all month as these are most likely the only gifts I will have to open now that my dear Max is gone. This is going to be an excruciating painful holiday for me!!

However, for now, such fun doing the "Twelve Days of Christmas"!!
I got a large envelope just stuffed with presents!! I laid them all out under my PLUM PURPLE Christmas tree as shown below!!
And, I pulled present number one!!

WoW!! I think I got all twelve gifts in one!! I must have been really good this year!! I got SIX skeins of Gentle Arts Sampler Threads. The colors are Pine, Gold Leaf, Red Grape, Black Crow, Burnt Orange and Bittersweet. These are fantastic!! I love the GAST threads!

Thank You!! Thank You!! I have no name as of yet!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

My Blooming Miracle!! 11/20/2011

2011-11-20T17:41:00.001-08:00

I have worked on this piece since 2000. I was never over thrilled with stitching horses, however, this is what this couple wanted for their wedding sampler.

Okie Dokey!! I did it!!

However, originally I put their names in with "and" instead of symbol "&" and the bride quite bluntly told me she hated this!! I was on verge of telling her congratulations and let me be the first to gift you your first dust rag!! But, nope I said I would try it again. I truly wanted no part of this and dragged my feet on it by burying it at bottom of my "Stitching Sanctuary". Well, I am hard at de-stashing daily and I hit "bottom" and guess what was now on top!! Once last try, love it or dust with it Cindy!!

I had to put the names and date on it "again". Thus, I began this task on Friday evening. I always end up falling asleep each evening in my "stitching nest" and once again I did. I have, or now say I HAD, a bad Coke Cola habit. I evidently opened a Coke and fell asleep with the Coke finding it's resting place right on top of my fabric!! I received a blooming miracle upon finding not one drop of Coke had got on my fabric!!

This evening I finally finished this monster piece and it is being placed in tissue paper until Cindy and Pat's arrival on Thanksgiving evening. And, then it is OUT OF HERE!!

I am in great hopes it looks good, but at this point I do not think I care!!
Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

THIS WEEK - October 15, 2011

2011-10-15T16:02:00.001-07:00

I have finally reached my "fantasy" point of being able to do nothing, but stitch as I wish to do so. I have already had several days where I stitch from the moment I get up straight through to the moment I decide to go to bed. However, there have been very few nights that I get to bed as I have developed bad habit of falling asleep in my stitching nest till about 5:30 a.m. in the morning!! Kathy K. has made me promise to buy an alarm clock to set by my stitching nest to set so I will get up and go in to my bed. Overall, I am loving every moment of this time!!

I know some people will feel I am bragging, but I truly am not. I can not stand a person that does such and as I have said so many times before I would like to go on liking my self!! Believe me, I would much rather be complaining of little time to stitch due to having family and children, or a job and most of all my dear husband back to do things with and for!!

I have posted updates on my progress below.

First, is my MILL HILL kit called "Boo Ghost". He is finished.
Next is my SAM SARAH STUDIO called "Daily Life". It is a larger center which I am working on that is surrounded by twelve other squares that are released monthly. I have no idea why, but I simply can not put this piece down, other than I love the fabric color and that is surely no reason to stay fixed on this project!!

And, in my big effort of "de-stashing", I found an older JUST CROSS STITCH Magazine with a chart by FANCI THAT. It is called " Halloween Manor". I also love this one and can not seem to put it down!!

Another treasure unearthed in "de-stashing" was "Alphabet Doll" by THE NEEDLE'S NOTION. I choose "D" for the monogram for this doll. There are three designs to choose from and I am very sure I will be stitching many more!! I normally NEVER stitch a chart twice!! Again, I loved this one and could not put it down much all week. I just have to get one more full sunny afternoon so I can see to place the remaining two dozen beads and then figure out how I am going to put a flower in her hat. The chart calls for lazy daizy stitch for leaves and French Knots for flowers and I do not do well with either of these particular types of stitches. Think I will do regular cross stitches and perhaps add beads on flower ones. These dolls are finished by stuffing them and they then are to stand up.

I also had another finish of a small DOODLES project. It is called "Frosty Friends". I simply forgot to photograph it so it will have to wait until next posting. I stitched it for Karen so she could follow it as she purchased this same kit as her first "starter". I would be so happy to see Karen get hooked on stitching also. Although, she always brings her crocheting and/or knitting and stitches along with my cross stitching. I prepared a chair with an OTT lamp for Debra to use while she was here visiting. I decided to just leave it as it is so as to have a second stitching nest for Karen and hopefully other stitching visitors. Makes my living room look really strange, but this is a home made for stitchers and their stitchings!!

And, lastly I have to share a picture of my beloved neighbor, Granny Lou, a.k.a. Mary Lou, that was taken on Thursday. All the first of this past week, I truly wrestled with some thing I was trying to bring out of my mind. I went to sleep trying to remember and woke up resuming to try!! Finally, early on Thursday morning, I woke as I was not feeling too well, but also I finally remembered!! It was Granny Lou's 87th birthday!! I immediately went in to panic mode!! However, I first called Karen and was immediately assured every thing would be taken care of.

A few hours later, Karen arrived with a lovely ice cream birthday cake, a box of Granny Lou's favorite chocolates from me, gifts that Karen had crocheted from her and all the wrapping, cards, etc.!! We soon were on our way across my driveway to Granny Lou's and rang her doorbell. I had called Granny to ask if Karen could stop to show her the newest things she had done with her stitching just to make sure Granny had no plans and would be home earlier. Granny was so surprised and happy to see us. We went in and had cake and Granny opened her gifts. Granny insisted we then go in her living room and chat with her for awhile. Well, much to my utter embarrassment, I fell fast asleep on Granny Lou's sofa!! Karen had a lovely couple of hours visit with Granny Lou thankfully. All I can say, is I would kill to look as good as Granny Lou does at her age of 87. She still goes to Curves Exercise Salon each day as well as volunteers many hours each week at our local hospital. And, she will navigate our driveways, regardless of weather, to check on me each and every day!! She is one fabulous lady!! Her daughter came today from Des Moines and so Granny's celebrating has went on!!

Well, I am off to stitch and see how much I can accomplish this week.

I really want a finish!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Pictures from Debra Hall's September Visit

2011-10-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

Let me begin with saying these are horrible, horrible, horrible pictures. They do NOT begin to show the magnificant beauty of these things. I WILL get some one who knows what they are doing to retake these pictures as I am speechless on how to describe them. They became instant heirlooms to me!! Now, big problem is to decide where to display them that will do them the justice they deserve and not be possibly soiled in any way. Debra told me they are placemats and that I should use them. I would not be able to take a bite of food as I would be far too perched to do harm to any one who would soil them!!

These are all the most awesome and beautiful gifts Debra Hall made for me when she came to visit. The first four are placemats that she totally made by her self. I believe she told me these were her first applicay projects. She also quilted these. As you should probably already decided, I am so in love with these!!

Debra also brought me these three lovely ornaments. I again can not yet find the most appropriate place to display these, but I surely will.

Below is a most beautiful set of tea towels that Debra also brought to me. I also love them!!

Right across the Mississippi River that totally borders our town is a town called Fulton, Illinois. It is a Dutch settlement and this town totally thrives on Dutch tourism. They had an authentic windmill built and then dismantled and shipped to Fulton piece by piece. It now is assembled and actually operates. They sell the different kinds of flours they grind.

I was exhausted by the time we got to this windmill, however, Karen took Debra up the steps to the top and they toured it. Karen actually lives in Fulton. It is only about three minutes from my home. I actually also had owned my salon there before I was injured.

Below our pictures of Debra and my self trying to be silly. I think we were successful!! Debra shows up well as the "Little Dutch Boy". However, with my "leaning", I made for a very poor "Little Dutch Girl"!!

Regardless, we had lots of fun at their "Harvest Festival" this day!!

We again visited the statue I actually designed for a very old friend for a contest this town had centering on "wooden shoes". Debra is on the left, I am sitting in the center and Karen is on the right.

Below is another picture of Debra at the "Harvest Festival". She says to say she found an old relative while in Iowa!! Poor Debra was being "slimed" by the pig on her shoulder while a bull dog was taking care of her knee at the same time!!

One of Debra's many trips to the Quilt Shop located in Fulton

Another day, another stash shop. This is Karen's local yarn shop that officially closed it's doors today. I again was a bit exhausted and opted to stay in the van. This picture is of Debra and Karen in front of the yarn shop!!

Debra and Karen were instant friends!! We all had such a wonderful time together each day and evening!!

One day, Debra suggested we go to the nursing home (I met Karen in nursing home where Max had to be placed. Max and Karen's father were room mates. Karen was a very special angel sent by God to help me, and Max, through his days at this nursing home and most especially my main source of strength those awful last days of his life.) to surprise Karen as we had plans to meet after she had taken care of her dad any way. I also was too long overdue for my visits to my special people I adopted while Max was there.

While we were there waiting for Karen one of the off duty aides had brought her brand new puppy in to visit the folks. It was a minature collie. I initially thought it was a gerbil and wanted nothing to do with it.

Once I determined it was a brand new puppy, I HAD to hold the little boy!! While holding it, we decided we could get a picture and "prank" Kathy K. with the news (bad rumor) that Debra had, in fact, brought me a new puppy. Well, initially Kathy did believe us, however, she instantly began telling us all about how to care for it, etc. We all truly thought she would be quite upset as I truly do not need, nor can I take care of, a brand new puppy. Think I could have at least tried should this sweetie been offered to me!!

Below are pictures of Debra and I at the nursing home with the puppy.

We truly had the very best of times!! One of the reasons for Debra's timing of her visit at this time was I was facing Max's first birthday without him. I knew it was going to be extremely hard, but I have found I am a bit better when surrounded by people. We had a full day on his birthday in spite of a nasty cold and raining day. We visited my mother on the way to the cemetery. Once we got a break in the weather we went to visit Max and took him a red rose and birthday balloon. He actually has two grave markers, our family one and then his military one. The military one is placed at the bottom of his grave site. I had not seen it as of this day which made it a bit more special. The "military" had called me some months ago to tell me that only his given name of "Lynn" would be allowed on the stone. The man then asked me why I was so adamant about having "Max" placed on it. I then just asked him how thrilled he would be to go through life being called "Lynn"!! The man replied that he would think on it and take care of it for me. I was very surprised to find on the bottom of this stone was inscribed "Affectionately Known As Max"!! It is perfect!!

We tried to pace our selves and actually did take a day now and then and simply stayed in our p.j.s and did nothing all day, but stitch. It was wonderful!! Most days we found some where to shop, shop and shop!!

Karen assisted Debra in packing seven full boxes to mail home to her self!!

Oh, one day we did do a day trip to a small town about twenty miles south of me. It is called LeClaire, Iowa. LeClaire is home base for the Pickr's of "American Pickers" on television. Karen's hubby had insisted on going there a few weeks prior so Karen knew exactly where it was.

I think there are pictures on Debra's cameras of it. When Karen was there previously she actually caught the "guys" home and they autographed the free poster they give all visitors their selves. Unfortunately, they had just left to vacation in Hiawaii and were not there the day we visited. Debra did get her hubby a few tee shirts, key chain and a poster!! He was thrilled with them!!

Debra originally was scheduled just to stay one week. However, soon after arriving and the three of us finding such good times together Debra extending her trip for a few extra days. Her entire time here was absolutely fabulous. I was very sad to see the day arrive that she HAD to return home. Karen drove to airport to take Karen back as Eunice had taken me down to pick her up. The airport is about a hour away from Clinton. I am not well at goodbyes and, as usual, I began the tears. I guess fortunately the cart had arrived to take Debra to her boarding gate and she was whisked away before I got too overly emotional. I can not tell you how lonely this home seems now. Karen has been so very good at making sure she stoops at some point each day especially since Debra's going home.

I am sure we will all get together again very soon!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

EEKS!! - Another Closet De-Stashed!! - September 30, 2011

2011-09-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

We are still just having the best of best times!! We have pretty much stitched all day, except for short de-stashing time. Going to stitch tonight and some tomorrow. Then, come Sunday will be my tears as Debra must go back home!!

We opened "the" closet today!! Hundreds of kits, most untouched and unopened, come flying out at us. Now, I have to decide "keep" or "out" so we can begin our evenings stitchings.

We "think" tonight is the night for Karen to finally give in and pick up the needle!! I sincerely hope she does. Each kit is just more cute than the last for her. I keep telling her she needs to start stitching to help me get through them.

Got lots I want to keep, but many more that I love, but simply know I will never get to.
I had to take a break for a few hours yesterday to attend a luncheon honoring my dear friend, neighbor and caregiver, Eunice. She was selected as top teacher in Iowa that returned to work after age 55 for 2011. There were two Iowa Senators in attendance. I am sitting at head table in bottom left hand corner across from Eunice's daughter, Zennia, who came in from Chicago for this great honor of her mother. Eunice truly deserved to be given recognition for all she has done for every one.
They told of every year of her life and what she accomplished right down to 2007 when she realized she had neighbors who were experiencing very "tragedic and serious problems" right across the street from her and how she simply just ran and took over even before she truly knew us. She surely helped me in giving Max and I another four years together that we probably would never have had. And, I know I would not have been able to gain as much independence as I have without her continual presence in our lives. It was very nice to see her receive such an award and honor.

We are sadly starting Debra's last day and evening to be with me in Iowa. I am going to be quite upset when she has to go back to the airport. My dear friend, Karen, has been with us a great majority of these days as her husband is away in Arizona for a few weeks. Karen is not a cross stitcher, however, she has had as much fun with us as Debra and I have had. Karen will be the one driving us back to the airport which is about a hour away on Sunday morning. This will make it a bit easier on me, but I truly am going to hate to see this time come. However, I was very fortunate in that Debra was able to extend her stay these past five days!!

Debra and Karen became almost instant friends also. They worked very hard in trying to finish yet a bit more of my "de-stashing". It is almost impossible for me to get into the closets and totes and other areas to access the piles of stash. They went through and pulled many, many boxes out and brought them to me to go through while sitting in my chair and assisted me in sorting it all. I believe the last I was aware of that Karen had taken five large boxes of just charts down to the lower level of my home. I truly do not know how to go about finding new homes for all these things!! At least now, they are all out of sight and hopefully will go out of mind until I can decide on a way to do this process.

Very excited about getting back to stitching this evening as some very all time favorites were pulled out for me to see and keep at my reach today!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

PROGRESS - September 28, 2011

2011-09-28T14:54:00.001-07:00

First, this is NOT starting out well!! I wanted to add more pictures and it will not let me and then I got this blue lettering with lines. Well, I know not to push my luck and will take it as it is!!

Debra Hall came last Thursday and was scheduled to leave this morning. We have had such a good time that she extended her airline ticket until Sunday morning. Going to be a real sad day on Sunday!!

We have had my local best friend, Karen, with us most of this week. The three of us have had such a great time!! Karen has become very important in my day to day independence and keeping it. Thus, she can remember and just knows things that I should and has kept us busy doing all we intended and wanted to do. She knows where things are and makes sure we get there!! She has just added to the fun we have been having even though she does not stitch - at least not yet!!

Yesterday, we happened by an old memory for me. I was once engaged to a man who needed to make an entry to a town's competition to decorate for their local festival. I designed and came up with his entry!! I had forgotten all about this ole boy fishing until we happened on it again!! The picture is below.
AND, much more importantly Debra and Karen are attempting to sort and organize my "de-stash"!! Below are pictures of the progress!! Now, just how to make these piles disappear to new homes!!

AND, I am off to have fun with Debra and Karen. OH, Karen did purchase her first "starter" stitching kit while we were touring the Amana Colonies on Monday.

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

And, Another Week Goes By - September 19, 2011

2011-09-19T13:35:00.000-07:00

Once again, I had another thoroughly enjoyable week of stitching. Just did not have as much time as the week before. Still so yearning and aiming for time I am caught up and can stitch all day and all evening till I can not stand to do it any more!! Oh no, that can not happen or I truly will be one very bored woman!!

I was just plain all out tired this week. Also, I got invited to several different functions out this week. I did go and enjoyed my self immensely, however, it truly takes so much out of me to transfer and get my self settled and then re-settled. I think almost every evening this past week, I would collapse in my stitching nest and promptly go to asleep!!
Still have the "nasty" problem of lights surrounding my face each time I do this and it is a bit too much chance of extreme danger that I have to remedy ASAP.

AND, falling asleep can cause a multitude of other problems such as below on my Little House Needleworks "Fresh Fallen Snow". I evidently fell asleep with my darn marker in my hand. I woke with it smeared all over a favorite night gown. I kept praying "okay God, just not............."!!
My luck had run out and my beautiful project became instant dust rag!!
Oh, I was so mad!! Oh well, perhaps it will give me more incentive to try and stay awake while in my stitching nest!! I can only hope!! However, I have started making sure I set my marker down immediately after each use on the table beside my chair.
Many "old-timers" can remember my last encounter with my marker. I was in the hospital and out of my mind on morphine. Max's friends came in to visit me to find me putting my needle through my working copy and very boldly marking my fabric!! They were scared and did not know what to do as Max evidently had fallen asleep while I was stitching. I am sure Max fell asleep and I decided I had a clear chance at stitching as he usually would not let me have a needle and/or scissors when I am that out of it as I was. I was less than 100 stitches from finishing "She who dies with the most patterns"!! I did re-stitch that one and it is hanging in my Stitching Sanctuary and I will re-stitch "Fresh Fallen Snow".
I have learned to not "sweat" the little things!!
Below is a new start by Plum Street Samplers entitled "Yuletide".
I really like this and it will be a very cute ornament!

Below is the before rotation and after of Lizzie Kate's "Halloween Rules". It is coming along very slowly, but nicely. It will ultimately be a bell pull I think.Next is another Lizzie Kate called "6 Fat Men". It is going to be a darling snowman piece and every home needs some snowmen.

The next rotated this past week was by Bent Creek and it is called "The Haunted House". It is a three part series before it is completed. I love doll's houses and any kind of type building to stitch.

The following is by Cherry Wood and it is called "Good Witch". It has a couple of "google" eye buttons for finishing. I love the colors.

This is what I did this past week!!

Two More Days!! Two more days and I am going to go to the area airport, about one hour away, and meet Debra Hall's plane. I am so excited and so looking forward to our visit. Surely, I will have a whole lot to update next week!!

I want to thank every one for all their help in assisting me to find a chart for me to stitch my EGA Guild Name Tag. I ended up with several to choose from. And, yet another new start!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

DAH!! 30 Minute Rotations Does Not Make It!!

2011-09-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

It appears right from the start of this I have made errors. This was to have been in context of post with other pictures, but it did not quite work out that way!!
Below is Blue Ribbon Designs MOONLIGHT MIDNIGHT. The top picture was the progress before it's three hour rotation. I made adequate progress.

This has been a strange week!! I was overwhelmed with invitations to join six different social groups. I have been told people are beginning to feel it is "okay" to approach me now that my dear Max has been gone six months. I choose one of the "four" different church circles with all vying for my picking their group while at church last Sunday!! My LNS owner also invited me to attend the local chapter of EGA Stitching Guild meeting. I went to EGA meeting last night and thoroughly enjoyed it!!

However, they have a rule that you must wear a name tag and you must stitch it!! You are given a length of time to finish a name tag, but from then on you must have it done and wear it to each function or you are assessed a fine!! Good Lord, I don't stitch that fast and it is going to take many days for me to find some sort of chart to follow for this!! Better be shaking down the piggy bank!! I also attended the church guild meeting this afternoon and enjoyed it much!!

I had an excellent week, and particularly weekend, of stitching again!!

Woo Hoo - Two weeks in a row now.

And, I know now, you absolutely can not just do 30 minutes per rotation. That only allows setting up chart, pulling thread out and threading the needle!! I have a very short attention span that goes along with my illness. Thus, I thought keep rotating of this ever growing pile would take care of this!! Another great moment, in my "I thinks" that were grossly wrong!! I easily got through the entire pile with this 30 minute idea, but hardly got any stitches done to even consider or be able to see. Thus, I finally have went to doing three hour rotation times and it seems to be working beautifully. Now, if I can just cure my constant need to start new projects and more to point to quit purchasing new products. I go in to my LNS with firm resolve to just pick up the threads I am needing, but never come out without dropping $100-$200!! This has got to stop!!

But, once again, I am so very, very much enjoying every single "x" and hope all the more that I can get the few things left to be done on my home finished and be able to devote each day and evening to just stitching!! I can not foresee ever getting bored with this, but I suppose it could be possible. However, if I truly get involved in all the social groups that I have become involved with since Max's passing it they should be a welcome diversion.

The picture below is yet another new start. I had ordered this kit from Herschners and had forgotten about it. It arrived, and I LOVE tea cups, and I had to instantly being to sort it all out and stitch on it. It is by Alma Lynne and is called CHRISTMAS COFFEE CUP TABLE TOPPER.

Not quite which Christmas this will be done for, but am sure I will keep it in rotation. Thinking of doing three-hour one and then stitch on this for remaining time till bed each evening. I LOVE it! Below is Little House Needleworks HALLEUJAH. I have to say, I am a bit disappointed in this "ornament" as I think it too big and it should have some brighter color. But, since I am completely anal about changing any thing it is what it is.

The top picture is my progress with rotation this week!!

Below is my Bent Creek THE HAUNTED HOUSE MANTLE. The fabric is a very coarse and stiff linen and the entire project is stitched with Perle cotton. This has taken me some extreme adjustment, but I am now okay with this.
The top picture shows progress of this week.

The next photos show Lizzie Kate WHEN WE DO. I am quite fond of this picture and it's companion pieces, one is pictured below these also.

I forgot to take a photo of this piece prior to stitching this week.

It truly helps to be able to compare before progress and after to see there is progress!!

Below is yet another new start!! I am not particularly fond of snow men, but you have to have snowmen and snow ladies in your holiday decorations!! I just was drawn to this piece and spent an entire evening stitching on it. It is by Sam Sarah Studio and is called SNOWFLAKE.

It has words "just another snow flake" on it. I kept staring and thinking on this all day and evening and I guess that was my draw to it. I suddenly discovered it is a pregnant snow lady and it is ultimately an ornament for some one expecting a new baby!! Granny Lou, my beloved 87-year old neighbor who lives directly next door and comes over to check on me every day, has a granddaughter expecting a baby in February so this piece has her name on it.

Below is the Lizzie Kate I KNOW GOD which is a companion piece for WHEN WE DO above. I very much like this piece also.
The top picture shows this week's progress!!

Well, this was this past week's progress and I am back to stitching every day and evening thus far this week!!

Any one know of any charts I can get for making my self a name tag for my EGA meetings? I simply am not that talented to just start some thing.

And, I am still on count down to Debra Hall's arrival next week, now just down to one week away after tomorrow!! I am so excited!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Virtual Stitch In Results

2011-09-07T15:15:00.001-07:00

I had my self a true virtual stitchathon!! I had a fabulous holiday weekend. I had started it with total dread as it was to be another "first" with out my beloved Max.

I stitched all evening Friday and most of Saturday day and evening with the exception of a quick trip to LNS to get more thread. I NEVER simply skip church, however, I just did not feel very well and decided to stay home. Eunice decided I was going to get out of my home though and sent her husband, Marion, to help me over to their home. They just live across the street, but access to their home is most difficult for me. But, I did have my needles a smoking even over there as I started some Halloween coasters on plastic canvas while there. Unfortunately, some thing is wrong and I got some hunting to do to find out what it is. Regardless, it is a complete "frog" job!! I was back in my "stitching nest" on Monday and Monday evening. Guess I got so comfy that I fell asleep in my "stitching nest" all but one of the evenings. Very comfy, however, I have about six lights all positioned right over me and they can get VERY hot. And, I am waking my self up to my head bobbing very close to these lights and this is just an accident waiting to happen!! Got to figure out a remedy for this ASAP!! Everyone keeps telling me the moment I feel like I am going to fall asleep that I should get up and go to my bed. I truly do not need to be told this as I am very well aware of this, however, I simply have no indication that I am going to fall asleep. With my large daily morphine dosage, I can easily fall asleep any where that I am sitting still.

Now, to my progress this weekend!! Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I pretty much concentrated on new starts as I picked up the new JCS Christmas Ornament Magazine on Friday afternoon. I also picked up about a dozen pieces of fabric to do some of these new ornaments on.

I have decided to try setting a timer to rotate my extensive present rotations. I will just have to do some "trial and error" on deciding on how I plan to do rotations.

This is HALLOWEEN RULES by Lizzie Kate. I have been working on this for a few weeks now as I.L.C.S. SAL. Not getting too far, but am progressing.

Below is MERRY CHRISTMAS by Country Cottage Needleworks. It is a very simple ornament to do, I think.

This is COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS and is by La-D-Da.

Bloew is HO HO HO RIBBONS and is by Cherry Woods. I just noticed her designs and have purchased quite a few.

Below is FRESH FALLEN SNOW and is by Little House Needleworks.

I truly love this design.

This is BAD WITCH by Cherry Woods. I am also very fond of this Halloween design and she has a companion piece below this.

Below is GOOD WITCH by Cherry Woods.I have my JCS Ornament Magazine looking like it is years old as I have read and re-read these pages so many times. It must have been the third time looking through that I discovered the ornament below. I immediately LOVED it, however, shortly after beginning to stitch it the horrorific memories of "that" wedding sampler all began to come back. I am truly finding this very hard to do with the "lace" effect because of this.

But, being I want to find as many "memory" ornaments as I can find to make in memory of Max I will persevere and get it done. This is called ALWAYS IN MY HEART and it is by My Big Toe

And, that was my weekend. I can not wait till I have the final few things I need to do to have my home the way I want it done. After these few things are done, I can stitch, stitch, stitch and stitch every morning, noon and evening. This was a long standing wish of mine, BUT I wanted it to be with my husband sitting beside me and teasing me about each project.

I would much rather be working, tending to family and being with my husband, but that is just not part of my life unfortunately!! I just hope and pray that I never tire of my little "x" any time soon.

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

My Master Disorganized Organization - September 01, 2011

2011-09-02T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have tried to promise my self that I want complete organization in my life . I am desperately still trying to figure out what my new "normal" is now without my beloved husband, Max. I have learned that the definition of grief is that it is the price you pay for loving some one. I just want to know how much more I have to pay if this is true!!

Oh well, it will be six months this Monday since I lost Max. It has gotten a bit better, but I still have to admit I have a LONG way to go yet.

TWENTY DAYS and counting!! Debra Hall is flying up to visit me on the 22nd. I am so very excited and happy!!

Now, for tomorrow's I.L.C.S. "Virtual Stitch In"!! I plan on extending it by beginning as soon as I finish this Blog update and not quitting till I go to bed on Sunday evening. Of course, if I am being real honest, I never got to bed the previous two evenings as my stitching nest is so comfortable that I have fallen, and stayed, asleep in my lift recliner!!
I truly have been stitching quite a bit the past few months and I have so been enjoying each, and every, "x" I make. A few more things left on my "ToDo" and "Deborah's De-Stash" lists and I will pretty much be able to stitch most of each day and evening as the weather will be turning again soon and I simply am not able to get out by my self. I have truly been wishing to see my self getting to this point of having nothing left to do and just being able to stitch day in and day out - as I have no husband, children, pets, responsibilities, etc. to have to do any thing but what I want to do.

Below is a picture of today's accomplishment!! I went to LNS for simply just TWO skeins of DMC and ended up with $174 worth. But, who could have not done the same thing as my copy of the brand new JUST CROSS STITCH Christmas Ornaments Magazine was also just waiting for my arrival there also!! I got the fabric for about a dozen of the ornaments and five new charts and their needed things to start them. I just had my new "rotation" set up as pictured below and now it has suddenly doubled!! Oh well, I have a BIG smile for every "x" tonight with my biggest problem being which one I want to begin tonight!! God is Good!!

Below is my start on NOEL EN ROUGE by Sue Hillis. I am doing this on a sparkling bright white fabric with garnet thread.

Below is GOBLINS ON PARADE by Blackberry Lane Designs. I am doing this on Weeks Dye Works Linen and I absolutely DETEST it. Sorry, I have dust rags that look better than most piece of Weeks Linen I feel, but that is just my personal opinion. Of course, I have always stitched "in hand" and perhaps this linen works out better hooped. My best guess is this will end up a dust rag as I am not enjoying it much at all!!

And, this is SPOOKY HALLOWEEN MANTLE by Bent Creek. I originally did not care for the fabric or perle cotton threads that came with this three part kit. However, I persistented in at least trying to do this one and have surprisingly found that I love this one more than any other in this "rotation" group (that is growing by leaps and bounds and about two dozen new pieces of fabric)!! I very much look forward to each time I pick this particular piece up and predict it to be a finish for this Halloween

I LOVE doll's houses and any type of "buildings" to stitch better than any thing else other than my beloved tea cups and tea pots. Below is a spook house called THE HAUNTED HOUSE also by Bent Creek. I very much like it, however, I encountered confusion in two of it's symbols. I took it back to my LNS and asked the owner, Diana, how she was interpreting these symbols. As always, Diana was most helpful and got me back on track again. I can not wait to get some real progress in to this house now!!

The project below is quite dear to me as Max picked it out and specifically requested that I stitch this for our Pastor's birthday. This Pastor spent his own birthday with Max all day and well in to the evening this year as it was the day Max decided to stop his dialysis and begin hospice. This was a special verse that the Pastor read daily to Max. Thus, this PSALM TWENTY-THREE BY My Big Toe. I am hoping to have it finished for the Pastor's birthday next year on March 01. This is a real BAP that is going to take some real discipline by me!! But, it does have real special meaning to me and some how I WILL get it done!!

This project is going to be a real P.I.T.A.!! However, I do love it and I will keep at it till I get it done. It is called QUILTED GARDEN by Blue Ribbon Designs. It has SIXTY-THREE little square quilts and almost every one is full of fractional stitches that I do not particularly care for!! But, it is going to be absolutely exquisite and fairly good in size. I think it will be worth every little nasty word I have to say to it as I stitch it!!

And, my next little project is called SANTA BISCORNU. It is going to be so cute. You put little yellow star buttons on the top of each tree and these threes make up some of the corners in the Biscornu. I am hoping to get a few of these made for Christmas gifts.

I know this one does not show too much, but it is called POCKETFUL OF PEPPERMINT and is by Blue Ribbon Designs. It calls for a great number of specialty stitches, but I very much enjoy trying to master each of these. I think this will be a very pretty finish for holiday decoration.

Below, is a very special project I have started. I have a passion for collecting older perfume bottles. I LOVE these and have several placed around my home. This project is called PERFUMES and is by a woman named Isangel. She was one of the nicest ladies I have met online as she could not help me enough to get this complete chart. There is a different perfume bottle for each month of the year. This is going to be a very unique and beautiful piece!!

I just began the project below. It is one from CANDY CORN CRAZY from Sue Hillis. Can not say I am too much liking the designs, but the candy corn shape is unique and different for my Halloween decorating. And, below is Number Nine of Twelve ornaments for a Bride's Tree by Brooke's Books. It is called HOSPITALITY. And, it is "tea" related so it is a very automatic favorite for me. In fact, I have the previous eight ornaments all kitted up staring up at me, but feel no urge to begin any of them!

This is becoming a real favorite for me and I absolutely love it. It is called WHEN WE DO and is by Lizzie Kate. There are some companion pieces that go with this one and I have another right below this. This is going to be a very exquisite piece!!

This is the companion piece for the above project. I have to figure out a way to finish them to be displayed together. This is called I KNOW GOD by Lizzie Kate. I very much am looking forward to this becoming a fin

The next project is one of the Little House Needleworks Ornaments and is called HALLEUJAH. I am a bit disappointed in the colors, but they are exactly what the chart suggests. I think the right finish will make it a real beauty though

This became a great favorite very quickly with me. It will be quite colorful and all in over-dyed threads. I like Halloween and it will be a real heirloom to me. Max and I used to decorate every inch of our home, inside and out, for each holiday season. It is now utterly impossible for me, but I still want some special favorites to decorate with each holiday that will be easy for me to do. This is called MOONIGHT MIDNIGHT and it is by Blue Ribbon Designs. I think this may get a bit of preference in rotation order

This is going to be a real cute Christmas piece. It just makes you smile. It is called simply SIX FAT MEN and is also by Lizzie Kate. I think it will end up being very colorfrul also. I am anxious to see more progress on this one!!This is an error. This should be HALLOWEEN RULES by Lizzie Kate. Guess I will have to do some checking in to what happened here and post my HALLOWEEN RULES progress in next post.

I have no idea, as of yet, as to how I plan to "rotate". And, to be perfectly honest, I KNOW I will be having a few more additional starts from the new things I picked up today. The new JCS Ornament Issue is a real good one and has so many things I want to get stitched. I need about ten more life times.

Bottom line, I am MOST enjoying my stitching and more importantly I am finding "normal" again. It is definitely a very slow, and quite painful, process, but I never give up as there is always hope!!

20 more days and counting till Debra arrives!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

NOW WHAT???? - August 11, 2011

2011-08-23T17:13:00.001-07:00

I am still very agressively still looking for "normal" yet!! I have almost hit the mark of being a "widow" now for six months. It still SUCKS!!

I have been dreading all the "firsts" fast approaching!! It will be "six months" on September 07. It will also be Max's 67th birthday on September 25. I know I have to learn to get over these "days". I have learned I definitely do better when I have people around me. 99% of our "dear" friends have made no effort of so much as a telephone call since the day of Max's services.

I also am just plain lonesome too much of the time and so very much appreciate having company. I am now looking very much forward to a very special visit from Debra Hall who lives in Georgia. Ironic, friends who live two blocks away have not even called, but yet Debra is getting on an airplane and coming to visit me next month. She will be here from Thursday to following Wednesday and I can not be any more delighted!!
I am almost giddy with excitement even!! Wanda in Canada has been trying to find a free time to come and may yet this year also!!

I just can not wait for Debra to arrive!! Company and a stitcher!! Can not get any greater than this!!!!

I have been very busy. Karen (she is daughter of man who shared the room with Max while he was in the nursing home) has become a literal "sister" to me. She checks on me daily and has come to help out while I have been down sick since I lost Max several times. Karen's husband went out of town two weekends ago for a four day trip. Karen came here each day at 10:00 a.m. and stayed till midnight each of these four days.
She is a real power house when it comes to cleaning and organizing. She could only be better if she was a stitcher and could understand all the "beloved" treasures we collect. Max's room was the "catch all" that he named "THAT" room. The "Hoarders" television show had nothing on this room whatsoever!! That thing was packed floor to ceiling and wall to wall to the point it was actually very dangerous for me to go near. Much of this huge pile could have easily fell on top of me and trapped me and I fully realized this and finally just avoided this room no matter what. Karen charged in there and started to drag things out to me where I could begin to sort them. Did not take too long and my legs began to ulcerate from me being on them too long and weep so I had to stay seated for the entire four days. It did not hamper us too much as there were boxes upon boxes that just needed sorting. I believe Karen pulled about twenty-five 40-gallon big trash bags full to my trash tote before the four days ended with at least six trips to Good Will additionally. What a difference these four days made. The room is again very nice, but I still have a few more boxes that I want sorted and removed as soon as I can get them done. Karen believes there is at least a dozen fully packed boxes of simply stash in that general area. My "Stitching Sanctuary" is now also loaded with about a dozen fully packed boxes of stash to be gone through.
Hopefully, I can get to all these in next week or so!!

Now, I suppose these pictures are all out of order, but they will be sort of explained under each.

I have also started at least a dozen new stitching projects that I will picture in my next posting!!

Now, what am I going to do with all this stash I know I will never use. I have big large tubs of fabric and shelves and shelves of charts and books and countless boxes of things. There are fifty or more kits that I know I will never do also. BIG PROBLEM is I have no idea of how to go about trying to put these things up for sale and/or give away. Kathy K. originally had a great plan of doing a simple 20 items each week and clear them out to just re-post another 20 items. This was fantastic idea, but I would be spending the rest of my life doing this. I do not want to be overwhelmed with posting pictures and bookkeeping of who gets what while waiting for checks to arrive to send all these things out to their new homes. I only intend to charge $1-$2 for most things along with actual postage. It just does not seem worth it as I am now looking at such a large amount of things!! Any ideas???
Above is the beginning of the mountain of trash bags Karen placed out for collection two weekends ago!!

Above is just some of the many Mill Hill kits I have found thus far. I know there are many, many more. I have already seen many doubles.

Above is some more of the Mill Hill kits I have discovered. I do NOT intend to get rid of many of these, only the duplicates.

Above is the bookcase that I have NOT been near since some time prior to the accident in 2002. Many caregivers added charts and books to these shelves. I do not even have a rough estimate of what and how many are on these shelves.

Above are the same shelves from above picture. Can you see how each shelf is bowing in the middle of each shelf. I fear some thing is going to snap if these charts are handled too much!! The blue basket on the left is full of new "tuck" pillows in Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas patterns. God only knows what all is where!!

Above is a picture of the middle of the room in my "Stitching Sanctuary".

I used to have my lift recliner in this left corner and always spent my days and evenings in there. When Max's condition worsened, I had to start spending every moment Max was awake right with him as no one could predict what he might decide to do and thus I moved my six OTT lights and magnifying lights out to the main living room along with my lift chair.

I have since found I enjoy the big screen television over the fireplace and am most comfortable in the living room and plan to just stay in there. I only an a bit unhappy with the fact that I must put every little needle and thread away each evening or my living room begins to appear a bit "messy" and "unorganized". But, I am learning to pick up all my stitching things each evening before bed and simply making it a habit now.

Well, above and side ways, (one of these days I will learn how to edit these pictures) is another shelving unit that is crammed full of various fabrics.

I still have large plastic bins full of fabrics as not one more will fit on these shelves. Got to get better organization.

Please send me all your ideas on what I should do to find all the boxes, upon boxes, upon boxes of stash a new home as soon as possible!!

I have vowed to my self that I will find "normal" again and get my life re-organized again. For years, I was one of the worst obsessed compulsed perfectionists any one could imagine. It was BAD!!!! I guess I sort of lost this with the accident memory loss, but it seems to be re-emerging a bit again. I sort of hope it will, as my life surely needs organization!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

YES, I AM STILL ALIVE AND WELL!! July 21, 2011

2011-07-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

Hello All!!

Well, this is starting out real good again!! Somehow, I have got this blue color and lines - do not have a clue how or where they are coming from!!
Oh well, blue and lines are far better than nothing at all.

My life has not been real exciting and truly have little to say. Spent six weeks plus totally devoted to taking care of my mother after her fall. She is doing well - much, much better than any one expected!! I then got to my own home and EVERYTHING needed major attention. My new church family was coming to stain and seal my handicap ramp and deck on July 09 and it was encased in some major weeds. Thus, I took to just going to try and get the worst of them - yeah, right!! I got my self transferred to a little seat on wheels and I went to them weeds the preceding Thursday evening till a bit after 10:00 p.m. with aid of yard flood lights. Did not begin to finish so I thought I would beat the heat and be out with the weeds at dawn which I did do. Next thing I realized, it was almost 2:00 p.m. and I had to get cleaned up for a 3:00 p.m. appointment to get my hair done as I do every Friday. You must remember, better stated I should start remembering, I do not feel pain or distress until I am in very deep TROUBLE with it!! I went in to salon and girls had a fit over the horrific sunburn I had over the back of my neck and well into my shoulder blades. I have no control over my body temperature due to my illness and when I get too hot, or too cold, I have very serious problems and I surely did this time also. One of the gals insisted on bringing me home from salon and got Eunice as I was in real bad shape by this time. Eunice was mulling over whether I needed ER as she was sure I had heat poisoning or exhaustion, or both. Next thing I knew was I was in bed for nine days!! Not going to pull this one again any time soon. And, the church crew had their stains wrong for my ramp and it did not get done as of yet!! But, with the record breaking heat no one can expect any thing and it appears there is no end in sight. Thus, when I have been able to be upright, I have nested in my stitching chair and simply just stitched!!

And, as things appear and are, I can not even stick my head out my door with out being brought down so I just might get a whole lot more stitching done.

My biggest accomplishment is Max's memory box is finished!! I LOVE it!! Now, just to hope the seventy plus sympathy cards will fit inside of it.
It is pictured below.

And, oh now the print works!! Max's marker, well our marker, was placed at the cemtery while I was down. Need to get up there and rearrange shepherd's hook, more like eliminate it, and get vase in middle filled with a nice arrangement of flowers. I know it is hard to make out in picture, but Max (on the left) has a big old bass fish and mine (on the right) has a hoop, fabric and needle. Miprezious Dee Dee II is with Max and her portrait is right in the middle of the marker. Hope to get better pictures when I am feeling a bit better and can go to cemtery my self. I am extremely happy with this!! But, it is extremely eerie to look at my own name on a cemetery plot!!

This is a pillow I did for Karen for her birthday. Karen's father was Max's room mate while he was in the nursing home. We are like sisters. Max loved her very much as she cared for him so much and especially took care of him when I could not be with him. She came each day I was so ill from the heat with Gatorade and soup as well as tended to me. She is one very special lady!! She loves snowmen and this was best I could do in time I had available.

These are two pillows for month of July. We had a fundraiser for a young man from our church who has brain cancer. These pillows were auctioned off, but I was not feeling well enough to be there and thus am not sure what they brought in. I hear it was extremely good, but then things do go well when they are helping some one.

And, this is SAL Shelleen began for Lizzie Kate "Halloween Rules". This represents my first four days stitching. Yesterday, the frogs truly threw a PARTY!! I have never "frogged" so much in my entire life as I did in one day yesterday!! I guess it is coming along well. I have the Bent Tree "Spooky House" and "Halloween Mantle" sitting on my floor, next to my stitching nest, all prepared to begin on. I am sure I foresee a new Halloween "rotation" beginning here very soon!!

I have finally done nothing, but stitch, stitch, stitch, the last two days. Hopefully, tomorrow's picture of today's work will show it. I look at so many other's work and can see progress!! I probably have more time than most other's and I still seem to get the least done!!

Hopefully, I have my stitching motivation back and will keep at it and begin to post more often!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Early Birthday Cake - May 27, 2011

2011-05-27T23:52:00.001-07:00

I do not know how this line thing came about and can not figure out how to get rid of it. Whatever!!

I got the biggest surprise and shock of my life last night at my "Grief Share" class. A birthday cake, the most beautiful I have ever seen, almost arrived literally from heaven. I truly feel Max close as I begin the many activities planned for me this holiday weekend. My actural birthday is not until this Monday.

This cake was made of real sugar flowers and they are absolutely exquisite!! Truly this cake all came about through my helping out a hospice patient, who most unfortunately passed a few hours after her husband arrived back at the hospital. I truly felt like I did nothing, but evidently this touched more people than I even began to realize. I truly do not do things for any thing as I just want to give back as I was so generously given with my beloved Max. I think I am crying over this cake more than any thing else at this time!! Got to get ahold again!!
This week were full of milestones for me in my moving ahead again in this life. This morning I went to my first meeting of W.O.W. It is Widows or Widowers!! It was very nice socializing event with some great entertainers performing from our local summer theater group. I truly enjoyed my self.

Well, enough break for now and I guess I should have taken update of Max's Memory Box. I have just about the entire center done and will be beginning the border shortly and hopefully finishing it this weekend.

I found a lovely crystal vase to put the shell casings in from Max's twenty-one gun salute. A lovely wooden flag case is being finished with having his name and U.S. Navy inscribed on it. I have a beautiful bookcase for these things. Also, found one of the most beautiful ever "Guardian Angel" figures with awesome verse on her. Now, just to find the most perfect of pictures of Max and finish his box and I will feel I have completed all I can do for him. Truly wanted to have it all done for Memorial Day, which is my actual birthday also, but will not receive most things till first mail day on Tuesday as things appear now.

I can actually feel some of the heavy burden of Max's passing lifting from me a bit. It is a truly incredible feeling. I am far from over grieving him completely, but I am doing okay!!

Back to get those needles smoking!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

PROGRESS!! - May 24, 2011

2011-05-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

Getting some significant progress!! I am about half way mark with Max's Memory Box top. The original design has a nice border all the way around it, but am not sure if box top opening area will accomodate it or not. Again, time will tell!!

And, below is my "Flower Frog" that Meari was telling about on her blog. I have several more in "That" room. I am getting very close to starting "the dig"!!

I think I must be doing better than I have given my self credit for. My pastor, who did SO much for and with Max, has been spending many hours with a young mother from my church. As I understand she has a four year old little boy and six year old little girl that she adopted about two years ago. This poor woman had severe backaches a bit less than two months ago that became so unbearable she had to consult a doctor.

She was sent to our major medical center at University of Iowa. She was found to have central nervous system cancer which totally invaded her spine, brain, bones and liver VERY rapidly!! She had one chemo treatment at the big medical center which left her entire mouth one big huge openly bleeding sore!! She had been told this chemo would do nothing, but make her more comfortable, but not give her any extended time before she passes!?!?!?!?!!! Yesterday, this dear woman was sitting up in her hospital bed at hospital extended care unit locally, last night she was trying to throw her legs out of bed and was making extremely bad noises of groaning and cryin with intense pain. About 10:00 p.m. last night my pastor telephoned me and asked if I was willing to be her hospice advocate and could I sit with her today. I had some early morning appointments, but told him I surely would go to her today and would be most willing to do any thing I could.

I tossed and turned all night with not being able to decide what I could do and what we could chat about. I was so worried I would do some thing wrong!! However, upon arriving at hospital about 11:00 a.m. this morning, I found this woman almost comatose with very few groans or sounds from her. At one point, she focused on the ceiling and began just thrashing one arm after the other in an attempt to possibly "grab" at some thing. I have never seen a person be in such all out and utter horrorific pain ever!! I have never felt so helpless and wordless in my life!! I was to the point I just wanted to find a corner and cry for this sweet lady!! I believe they said she was 47 years old!! There were photos of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. Fortunately, I do not believe the little man will remember loosing his original mother, but am sure the little gal will and now they loose their adoptive mother after a few years time. And, to think this woman was considered healthy and fine a short two months ago!!

I went through so much with this dear little woman today that I also experienced with Max. I am praying for God's mercies to simply come and take this sweet angel ASAP!! Amazing I can not say today was not without old pains surfacing for me, but I think I was better equipped to handle every thing today and I am "thinking" I might truly like to get in to putting my self on a local list to be called when ever I might be able to help others by simply being there for them!!

Thus, I know I still have a long ways to go, but I know now I can make it and I will be okay!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Max's Memory Box - May 20, 2011

2011-05-21T13:28:00.001-07:00

I finally got every thing I needed to start a blessed place to keep the dozens and dozens of sympathy cards I received with my beloved Max's passing. I so value each and every one of these cards!!

My "Grief Share" classes teach us to take these cards out and re-read them when we are at a low or exceptionally sad place with loosing our loved one. I intend to keep this box right on top of my coffee table, which is right next to my stitching nest, so I can easily reach them and read them when I get overwhelmed with my loss.

This is my first evening of progress!! Just hope it continues as well.

This is the chart from MY BIG TOE and the name of the design is "A New Day" which is kind of appropriate for my memories of Max. The border is exquisite, and truly makes this design, but I am not very sure if the top of the box insert will be big enough for it. I may have to just stop at the square and let it be the border. Only time will tell on this.
These are the Weeks Dye Works threads that will be used in this design. The box that will hold this design on linen is what the threads are sitting on. It is solid mahognany and is very beautiful. I can not wait to see this finished!!

This is the Dover Linen, 30-Count, in Custard Cream.

I almost felt Max's presence with me last evening as I stitched on this. And, I found my self talking to him at many intervals while stitching on it. Guess, I have to find my self a new fur baby or some thing!! So much miss Miprezious also. I can not believe I just so unexpectantly lost her on September 05 and then Max on March 07, just about six months to the day apart. I had no clue about Mi and even though I knew Max was so desperately ill, I had no idea I would loose him. I would love another "teacup" poodle, but with all my disabilities and illness it would be very hard to take care of one. Some days it is all I can do to just take care of my self!!

Things are going very well. I have heard from Wanda and she is still planning on visiting me again soon. This will be some serious cheering up that is so needed!!

Off to my mother's for a quick supper with her and back here to just stitch another Saturday evening away!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

WALL OF SHAME - May 16, 2011

2011-05-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

Here is the "first drop in the bucket" of my wall of shame!!

This is the last corner and dab of floor that I have yet to re-organize in my "Stitching Sanctuary"!! And, I am vowing to get it done before I hit the sheets tonight!!

Now, I have approximately three times again number of boxes yet to be placed!! I finally just shared this photo with Kathy K. while we were having our daily chat. First thing she advised was get rid of the tables as they are taking up valuable box space.

As usual, she is probably right, but you have to see this thing as I do from my chair up and my chair down. I can rarely do well with seeing or reaching any thing below my chair height!!

And, I also have to figure out more wall space!!

Well, you are viewing a blooming miracle as far as progress has been made!! THE wedding was this weekend so I was a whole lot preoccupied with things away from this room.

I am thanking the good Lord for Kathy's brain cells as she has figured out a phenominal process for me to downsize with. I will be listing 20 items per week. Going to post office is a major, major problem and obstacle for me as things need to be carried to van, then from van to post office, etc. and it is almost impossible for me to accomplish it twice. Thus, every thing will be figured for flat-rate containers, either small or large envelopes or boxes. I can store these containers for a few weeks to make sure they can go as full as possible, but that will be up to person getting items. Things will go at very low prices, but I am going to have to have ALL purchases plus postage within a set period or they will be going to next interested party. Can not say for sure when I will be starting this process, and it will be a LONG process, but quite managable for me, within the near future. I will simply post on a new separate Blog when I am fully prepared and just 20 items per week.

Now, take a good look at this last corner of my "Stitching Sanctuary".
Up until Max's passing on March 07, I made this room my stitching nest and it was quite usable. Across the immediate hallway sits "THAT" room!! Okay, HOARDERS television show I am giving you your last chance!! That particular room has not been usable since some time prior of May, 2002. Can you even begin to imagine?!! I would attempt a photo, but value what legs I do have left and will not venture in there without lots of help. Several, including my long lost brother of Max's and his signifcant other some four hours away, are planning on coming to start this room some time early this summer.

I will absolutely take full photographs of the "Stitching Sanctuary" in the next day or two as it will finally be pretty!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

FINISHED TO PERFECTION - May 09, 2011

2011-05-09T15:16:00.001-07:00

It is now finished to perfection and even I love it!! I am now actually thinking it is quite beautiful.
There is no doubt, in my mind, finishing matters as much, if not more, than the actual stitching!!
Happy wedding Missy and Jeff!!

CELEBRATION - May 04, 2011

2011-05-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have never been more happier in my life!! This atrocity of a stitched piece is done!! It is absolutely horrible.

HOWEVER, the bride and groom personally selected the three colors and the fabric and color. They have seen the progress along the way and continued to love it!! Perhaps, they feared upsetting me as every one assumes I am still right on the "edge" of things.

Whatever, I could not care as it is FINISHED!! I have never been happier with a piece I have detested never as much!!

It surely goes without saying, I am still ever so grieving and missing my beloved Max and our darling little Miprezious. I purchased a lawn swing today with a big awning attached. Of course, Eunice was with me to oversee I did nothing too crazy!! We had to wait for the store employees to load this large piece, or I should say pieces, into her truck. As we waited, Eunice remarked all I needed was to go now and purchase another "teacup" baby. My mother was on the speaker phone and quickly added nothing stays small that I am in charge of!! Eunice thinks if I could keep a new "teacup" small that it would be little trouble to me and ever so much company and enjoyment. Lets say I am surely glad we were no where near a breeder, thankfully, so I was not able to actually see a new baby and surely want and have to have it. And, I soon thought about the care involved and just am not too sure if I am able to do this currently.

Eunice began telling me that I could easily do this after all I have recently gone through and done and also began telling me how lovely it would be for me to be able to sit out on my new swing with a new baby be side me.

I think I will re-think this one very long and hard before I go visiting my favorite breeder for now.

I do so miss my beloved dear ones, but it truly has helped that I am keeping so busy. Being as disabled as I am it takes me at least ten times longer to do any thing, but I have learned the patience it takes to just do regardless of how long it takes me. I have began going through each room and re-organizing it and moving Max's things elsewhere so I do not have to be surprised with continually finding them at the most inopportune moments. I also need to get this home made as safe as possible for my own access and movements. The downsizing is about to begin!!

I have pretty much learned to go to church by my self with out being so utterly discomfortable. I still say a church pew is the most loneliest place in the entire world!! I am hoping to begin meeting some of the congregation soon as I have decided to begin the new membership classes this coming Sunday and will consider changing my church affiliation to Methodist from Episcopal. Unfortunately, our Episcopal church has just begun to sink and I do not see any good outcomes for it. This Methodist church just picked us up, out of the blue, a few years ago and held a benefit for me and my medical needs along with putting in the handicap ramps, and so many, many other things. The biggest thing was the Associate Pastor was able to befriend Max and he was the very most caring person ever to him, as well as my self. This Pastor was the person who presented Max's entire medical status and it's options to Max and helped Max make the decision he was not going to continue to fight a useless battle and wished hospice to take over. I could never have presented all this to him and it was such a blessing to me to have Max actually tell me enough was enough and that he wanted hospice brought in.

So, I can continue to do and be I guess. I am okay and can see the light at the end of the tunnel finally in there is hope this will all get better enough to want to go on.

Well, hopefully some where on this is a couple of pictures of the atrocity called "Toile Lace"!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Monday, March 28, 2011 - I AM EXCITED!!

2011-03-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

I am intent on finishing all the loose ends of Max's funeral and estate, etc. by the end of this week. This morning the funeral home director came to my home to help me accomplish many things. Among these things was picking out the cemetery marker. This task made me even more sad than I started today, however, before it was finished I was happy, smiling and ever so excited!! Again, my camera and I need some more coordinating with each other as I got more bad pictures, however, I did try my all to get this marker's picture clear so you could see it. I lived a stitcher and now I am assured I will pass as a stitcher and be ever after remembered as a stitcher. I got a cross stitch piece, hoop, thread and needle engraved in my own cemetery marker!! I am happy and so excited over this!! I had no idea this could be done!! The pictures are below. I am also very excited and happy to have Miprezious Dee Dee included on our family marker. De De I has her own bronze marker at the foot of our graves.

And, I also got another finish for this year all in my past "Me" stitching weekend. I think this was the quickest finish ever for me!! I am contemplating making it in to some thing like a pillow case. I am going to try to find a small piece of Easter themed fabric for the back of this. Of course, in this one horse town there is no where to purchase fabric, but there is always the possibility of my going the hour commute to next largest town where they have all kinds of stores. I then am hoping it will fit over the permanent star on my display tree and I will have an Easter tree topper!!

It is just three weeks ago today that I lost the love of my life Max. You would think I could not possibly have any more tears left in me, but they still sneak out without any warning too much of the time.

I did get my self awakened and dressed yesterday morning in plenty of time for church. I feel there is absolutely no place lonelier than sitting in a church pew by your self. I drove to my church as slow as I legally could and found a parking place. And, then I proceeded to simply just sit and chat with Max about making my self get out of my car and go in to the church. I eventually did go in to the church and the services were once again lovely. And, a couple did come in as ask if they could share my pew and did introduce their selves to me. I still can not say this is a comfortable thing for me to do, but hopefully I will keep making it a habit and it will become easier.

Today, I did begin re-doing my kitchen. I have searched for some ten hours online for some simple solid colored, tea rose preferably, kitchen tier curtains. I have not been able to find any thing!! I am about to declare a nice finder's fee to find them. I am also going to buy a new dining table and chairs as soon as I can find a set I love. I have a big old style solid maple drop leaf table and chairs that are simply too big. I am planning on hopefully finding a much smaller sized set as my days of large dinner parties are over. I am also hopefully going to find a nice stackable washer and dryer to put in my kitchen if the plumbing and venting can be done. Getting a washer and dryer upstairs will give me the total independence that I want so badly!!

I am intending to do each room in my home one last time. I no longer have to worry about the "ifs" and questionables as to Max ever coming back home again. Prior to this time, I still wanted to keep things comfortable for Max as I planned on several weekend visits and I always held out the hope I could some how bring him home for good where he belonged. Now, having to accept that will never happen changes so many things.

I want every thing in it's place and kept that way from now on. I have absolutely no one to blame any more for any clutter or mess as both Miprezious and Max are gone. It is just now me, my self and I.

Overall, it was the best weekend I have had in quite some time!! The weather is forecasted to be very nice the next few days so possibly I can get all my "to do" list done before a new one begins!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Friday, March 25, 2011 - IT IS THE WEEKEND AND I FINALLY HAVE A PLAN!!

2011-03-25T17:39:00.001-07:00

Yes, I am still taking one step forward and two steps backward, but I am making progress!! However, if one more person tells me how "strong" I am, I actually want to show them!! No, I truly do not feel this way as I know every one is just trying to find the "right" thing to say to me and all sincerely do mean well.

This is still gut wrenching hard and so very painful. I miss my beloved Max more each day, all nineteen of them. It seems like a life time ago. I still jump when my phone rings each night thinking one it is the nursing home telling me of more troubles or two, hoping it is my dear Max going to tell me he loves me and goodnight.

It seems like my days are just crazy busy and full. I "think" I am just about done with my "to do" list and will be caught up, however, as Eunice pointed out to me this afternoon there will just be another new list awaiting for me!!

Eunice is my beloved neighbor, friend and all out caregiver. Max and I would have sunk to the very bottom years ago without her just "stepping up" and taking over here. She also happens to be a black woman who has her own ways and a bit different culture ways. I had a problem initially, but now I have learned to LOVE her macaroni and cheese, corn bread, green beans, cabbage rolls, fried cabbage, sweet potatoes and the list goes on and on. I never would touch these particular foods before I sampled them from Eunice!! And, today she came over (intent to keep me busy and my mind occupied) and did an inpromtu cooking class. I hopefully learned a lot and more hopefully pray I can remember it all. Every thing turned out very tasty and will be a wonderful dinner for taking a dish to my own mother and supper for me tomorrow.

I began this day with having to run a relatively short errand and had an appointment. Well, my appointment got re-scheduled for tomorrow and this left me with the prospect of probably my first weekend where it was not planned for me!! Thus, I did make a stop at my local LNS and ended up getting three new pillows and the new Waxing Moon "Bunny Egg Mini"!! The colors simply jumped out at me and I love them all. The wedding project nears ever so closely on May 14, but I simply had to break out and do some thing I just wanted to do cheery and fun. Thus, I planned to begin to stitch all weekend, with no regard for every thing else I have falling on me!! As I said above, Eunice arrived to cook, cook, cook and I did assist and hopefully learn. All this food has me set for the weekend and I am simply going to forget the kitchen makeover I was intent to begin until Monday. This is going to be MY TIME first weekend and I intend to make the most of it with hopefully some spring finishes!!

And, I had the furniture store come and exchange the "salmon" colored chair for an olive green chair to complete my newly redecorated living room. Also, for a few finishing touches, I added a bit of Easter to it.

Thus, I have to be going forward, at least I think I am!!

Above is Waxing Moon Designs newly released "Bunny Egg Mini" and I purchased a piece of "Chablis", "Whimsey" and "Raspberry" colored fabrics to stitch a few of my own eggs. Above is Pine Mountain April "Rick Rack Row" Pillow. I love the colors in this pillow and can not wait to get it done!!

Above is Pine Mountain April Tuck Pillow. Such bright and cheerful colors and another project I truly want to get done as soon as possible.

Above is Pine Mountain "Spring Breezes" Tie One On Pillow Kit. This will just have to brighten my mood!!

Above is one of the wedding projects I just HAVE to have done for the May 14 wedding. It is by Imaginating and is called very simply "Toile Frame". It is wanted the bride truly wanted and in those exact colors!!

And, above very side ways, (one of these days I am going to learn how to edit these pictures) is one of the three new ornament trees I had gotten.

Finally, decided to attempt to decorate one with some sort of effort.

And, I found the greatest Easter egg and nest in my all time favorite pink while shopping for doilies for the new tables. I love this find!

And, above is the final choice of chairs for my new living room redecoration project. Think I am totally in love with this project and can now just get nested in my new stitching nook and just take it all and get used to it in between those little "x's"!!

This has to be all time record, TWO Blogs in the same week!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

TUESDAY, MARCH 21, 2011 - LIFE CONTINUES ON!!

2011-03-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

Life IS continuing without getting my vote!! I was "made" to attend the first of fourteen "grieving" sessions last Thursday!! I just know I am going to be "expelled" from this group even quicker than we did at Puppygarten!! I just want to get up and choke these people and tell them to get a life, but yet I know the gut wrenching pain and loneliness these people are going through. However, the next newest besides my self is SEVEN YEARS out!! I do not want to think I am going to stay in this state for another seven years or more!! But, at this point, I pretty much do as I am directed as I can not make up my mind as to what type of cereal I would like for breakfast yet.

I am doing okay. I now choose to at least get out of bed, rather than opting for a week of not moving from it!!

Prior to Max's ultimate last fall that broke his hip, I had started planning on redoing my living room. One day last week I found my self driving by the furniture store and decided to go in and see if I still loved the choices I had made. This furniture store has been run by at least three generations and probably more of the same family. The children I grew up baby-sitting are now running the store. However, their parents have just moved back from Las Vegas and are living upstairs of the store. Some one told the mother I was in the store and she yelled down orders that I was not to leave until she could come down and see me. And, the mother came down and we sat down on the very furniture I had chosen and chatted for almost four straight hours about the old days and my own parents. I soon realized I was sitting on the new smaller version of the sofa I had decided I had wanted and then decided I would surely purchase it. I also purchased a chair and three tables. The sofa and chair both actually rock and I LOVE them!! The furniture was delivered today and I soon discovered the chair just was not compatible with my existing lift chair and for that matter my entire living room. As par for the course, Eunice was called and came immediately over. We both then decided this same chair in green to match the pillows that came with the sofa was just what was needed or at least I sincerely hope so as I did call the furniture store and asked that they bring up the green version of the same chair and they will be doing this tomorrow afternoon.

I had wanted to get the entire living room and foyer cleaned and shined to perfection today, but discovered about half way through this task I was tired to exhausted and knew it was time to quit until tomorrow. So, I think I will have completely redone my living room now as I recently had it painted and carpeted.

I guess, I truly have accomplished some thing!!

I still have so many loose ends from Max's services and so many little things that need my personal attention. Last week, I was determined to be eligible for collecting on Max's Social Security as it was much larger amount than my own. I also was given Max's full pension. And, I was informed to get my own Medicare Supplement and Prescription Drug coverages ASAP as I would no longer have any medical insurance coverages whatsoever other than my own Medicare!! I was stunned!!
I hardly know where to begin. Eunice advised me to go to AARP, but got turned down immediately with them as I am no where near 65 years of age yet!! I guess tomorrow is another day and it has to be the first day of my search for medical insurance coverages as the people at RSVP were able to inform me my prescription drug costs amount to $3,300 PER MONTH!! In the past, I had to pay little if any thing for my medical coverages, and had no idea what the full costs of my prescriptions amounted to. Yet another new experience I do not want to have!!

I am close to like 180 posts on my Blog. I thought and re-thought over and over about the name of my Blog when we lost Miprezious in September. Now, I think I am going to have to change it in some way to reflect that both my beloveds Max and Miprezious are no longer with me.
Yesterday, marked two weeks since my dear husband went to heaven and it seems like it is forever already!! They tell me that grief is the cost of loving some one precious to you. I wonder about ever loving any one else again if this is true!!

I finally did get out my stitching as I have a dear "adopted" daughter getting married on May 14. I am creating both the ring pillow and card box around my stitched pieces. The main piece that she wants to put on the card box is this marriage piece I have pictured and is called some thing with "toile lace". It is a major PITA to stitch and most unfortunately on Aida also. And, I have not even begun the second piece yet!! Guess, I am being forced into some major stitching hours NOW!!

I have also posted some pictures of the new living room as it is tonight. Tomorrow will bring the new chair and great hope it will be the thing to simply make this room pop and coordinate very well together. Again, only time will tell.

I am so hoping to begin to Blog and perhaps do something real crazy for possibly renaming the Blog and it's 200th posting. Fortunately or unfortunately, my mother is now online and I do not think she is ready to read this Blog's history whatsoever!! Another reason for a new Blog beginning!!

Above are all the pillows I stitched during Max's six hour dialysis sessions when I was going and staying with him through them.

Above and Below are pictures of the "toile lace" I am stitching for "They Lived Happily Ever After"

Above is the new sofa and oval glass top end table.

Above is the new coffee table which I will eventually place all the many memorial pictures I am fast accumulating.

Above is my new stitching nest on the right and the new chair that is being returned tomorrow.

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Tuesday, March 08, 2011 - Rest In Peace Beloved Husband

2011-03-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

After a VERY long and VERY hard fight, I lost my beloved husband, Max, yesterday, Monday, March 07, 2011 at 9:25 a.m.

Unfortunately, it was the most unimaginable horrific type of death I ever had to see. Every time I try to close my eyes, I see and hear it all over again and again.

Max and I definitely had our ups and downs, but we always were brought back together, better than ever!! I truly loved my husband. I felt like such a horrible failure when I had to give up and admit I could not longer care for him and had no choice but to place him in the nursing home on August 23, 2011. I would not wish this fate to any one!!

Bottom line, my beloved Max is finally at peace and not suffering any longer. And, my Max did suffer to the very bitter end.

A wonderful lady who happened to be of black skin was in attendance to Max in his final hours. Within the last minute or so of Max's last breath this beautiful nurse just broke out in the most beautiful song about not having tomorrow. She sang like an angel and made a very horrific scene quite beautiful. I will be ever so honored with her singing this song again at Max's funeral on Thursday!!

My Beloved Max,

We always said "A family is not made up by numbers". But, the two of us were like an entire army. Together we overcame most obstacles that came our way, that would stop all others in their tracks. However, this was one obstacle that you had to face alone, but still the fact remains you won!!

You do not have to worry about any more heartaches and pains because now you are with our Heavenly Father.

You were my buddy, my care giver, and beloved husband for thirty-one plus years. I will not say good-bye because I will see you again. Do not say I did not warn you!!

Yes, God has carried you to His house, a better place. So sleep on Honey and take your long and well deserved rest.

I loved you, but God loved you best!!

Give Miprezious Dee Dee lots of kisses and hugs till Mommy sees her again also.

Love Always,
Deborah (Big Mama)

Monday, February 14, 2011 Valentines Day

2011-02-14T17:18:00.001-08:00

Is there a BAH HUM BUG appropriate for Valentines Day?!

We have always had some sort of special Valentines Day. I even was married on Valentines Day, 1969!! Well, that marriage crash and burned and truly was a double BAH HUM BUG!!

I thought Max was having a fairly good day yesterday. Thus, I told him we would do a special day away from the nursing home for Valentines Day. So, I began with picking Max up from the nursing home to go to church. We just began attending this church and I would truly love to get to meet some of the people and possibly get a life going again. But, Max would not sit still and could not move fast enough to finally just leave!!

We have a beautiful new restaurant on our big marina that is just surrounded by the Mississippi River which is loaded with eagles now.

We had a lovely table at the restaurant and every thing appeared to be quite pleasant with us. Par to course, Max ate a few bites of his salad, but refused to touch his steak, etc. He continued to push me to just eat quickly so we could go on to Walgreens. I tried to tell him it was so nice to just sit and watch the river and it's activity and every thing around us, but he was adamant he just wanted to go to Walgreens. Thus, we did leave the restaurant and went to Walgreens. As soon as I got the van parked, Max wanted to know if he had any money that I could give him.

Well, over time I know of $100+ that Max has just simply lost and I have since decided he can not have any more money. I assured Max he could pick up any thing he wanted in the store and that I would pay for every thing when we were ready to leave with my debit card. Again, it was rush, rush, rush to leave Walgreens!! Upon getting to check-out counter the clerk asked if we had found every thing we had wanted. Max immediately jumped on this and demanded a package of cigarettes!! I was absolutely stunned with this one!! The clerk went to reach for the cigarettes and I told her Max was mistaken and he was NOT getting any cigarettes!! Max went in to complete "melt down" and proceeded to throw a tantrum unmatched to any two year olds!! He continued to rage on about the cigarettes all the way back to the nursing home.

I have "adopted" several residents of the home. I try to take them special little gifts and goodies to eat when ever they want them. I truly feel they are the "grandmas" and "grandpas" that I no longer have. One man, James, had not spoken whatsoever prior to Max going in to the nursing home. He consistently always looked for Miprezious as she always went to the nursing home whenever I did (which was every day). Soon James began to reach out for Mi and within days he began to babble words to her and eventually to me. He now is talking, more like stuttering babble, and he can be understood fairly well. Today was a regular dialysis day for Max. The nursing home had a special luncheon for all the "couples" at the nursing home in a private dining room. I thought this was nice of them as there are only a few of us that they consider to be "couples". However, Max was gone from the home till late this afternoon for dialysis. Thus, I did not go today. I have decided to try and simply call Max's dialysis days my personal days of rest. I was relieved of my "duties" to accompany Max to each dialysis session a few weeks ago finally. Most unfortunately, I am getting reports of him not "behaving" again and I am sure I will be "ordered" to attend with him again any day. Thus, I knew yesterday that I most likely was going to try and stay at home to rest from the weekend today so I got small gifts for each of my special "grandparents" and I told Max we should go and deliver them and make my "required" visits to each of them. If I do not look each of these people up when I arrive at the home they will begin to come looking for me. Nurses say they get quite upset as to if I am okay if I am not there at usual times. Well, Max was still in his "snit" of not being able to get cigarettes and he was not going to even act like I existed again!! Max refused to go on visits and simply threw his coat and hat on his bed and took off to Bingo without saying a word to any one!! I decided to just make my daily visits and deliver my Valentine gifts to assure these people had them to enjoy today. I was truly apprehensive about taking a small Valentine bear that sang and lit up to James. He is a very large man and has been known to get quite "nasty" when he becomes agitated. I also had a little box of chocolates for him and was not sure if he would like them as he is a very picky eater at meal times. But, I got the most pleasure of my entire Valentines Day

weekend from James. He opened his gift bag and just began to give me a big smile and huge hug!!

I had bought several boxes of Valentines that had a bit of candy attached to them. Karen (Max's room mate's daughter) and I spent days signing Max and her father's names to these cards and assembling them last week. Max's room mate, Ed, is completely bedridden at this time. Thus, I took the bag with the Valentines and candies down to the dining room and dropped it in to Max's lap and told him he had an excellent opportunity to distribute them after the Bingo games were over and that I was going home. Max just gave me that Alzheimer glare and I am not sure if he even knew me from the staff again.

Thus, Valentines Day is officially over!! Praise the Lord!! At this particular point of time, I just wish all holidays were completely wiped off all calendars!! However, I did receive a very large delivery today. I have tried to take pictures, but they are BAD, BAD, BAD. I finally decided I needed to add some decorations for the pictures. I put some on, but it all looks like a decorator's nightmare yet at this point in time!!

Thus, some where on this Blog posting are going to be pictures of the trees Meari pointed out to us a few weeks ago. They are trees meant to display decorations. Presently, they leave a whole lot to the imagination, but until I can get them placed in a permanent spot, or I should say THREE separate spots, they are looking a whole lot "nasty".

Max is presently having his ups and downs. Recently, he has become completely incoherent for about 8-10 hours following dialysis. He can not walk, use his hands, or even talk understandably during these times. Unfortunately, these times seem to be growing longer and longer after each dialysis. The doctors tell me his condition is presently "guarded".

A few weeks ago, I laid out the dress pants he had worn during his birthday open house on September 26. They are sized 32. The nurses called me to tell me there was no possible way that Max could wear these pants. I could not believe this, but had to believe them. One of the nurses said she would measure to see just what size I needed to buy for him so he would have dress clothes. Nurse reported he needed at least a 38 and more probably a 40!! I just could not believe this!! Nurses checked records and Max has only gained 6 pounds. Thus, the stomach expansion is all "liver" in failure. This is just some thing else Max does not need to have happen, but.............!! Max is having some fairly good days and I simply cherish them. I also had a phone put in his room and he is able to push one button and have me on it. Saturday morning the phone rang and woke me. My bedroom was completely dark yet and I went in to my frozen in fear mode. I answered the phone and noticed the time of being just 5:00 A.M. Max was on the phone totally livid that the nurses would not let him go to the dining room for supper!! I told him he had to wait 12 hours for it to be supper time and to go back to bed!! I was eventually called by the nurses wanting to know when I was going to be there as perhaps I could "calm" Max a bit. I still have a load of guilt just because my disabilities do not able me to take care of Max at home, where he should be. However, I am beginning to tell a few of the staff simply to do their job as I do my job each month in writing the monthly care check!! It is still simply one day at a time!!

I am doing okay!! Desperately trying to just establish some semblance of a schedule and trying to get some organization and REST in to my life

I have several finishes to post some are pictured under the trees. I believe I have taken the title of "serial starter". I have 50+ in separate clear shoe boxes stacked on my antique hope chest. I am truly enjoying my stitching!!

Love and Hugs To All !!

Deborah

Wednesday, February 02, 2011 I AM STILL HERE!!

2011-02-02T20:11:00.000-08:00

Lopsided, but I am here, I think!!

We had very nice Christmas and New Year's holidays as I did have Max home on weekend visits. We did real good, despite my falling almost immediately upon arriving home on new year's eve afternoon. Unfortunately, Max began a very dangerous downward spiral shortly after the holidays. All I can say is it is truly one day at a time!!

I am presently working on taking some "ME" time. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done!! GUILT!! GUILT!! GUILT!!
My body began to give me final warnings to stop along with every one I know right down to our Pastor to start staying home more. I am beginning to try, as the weather is leaving me little other choice also!!

Max was rushed to hospital two days in a row by 911 Ambulance/Paramedics a few weeks ago. His blood pressure was 208/142 coupled with being completely incoherent. Was truly a jump start for me at 5:00 A.M. followed by a 2:00 A.M. wake up calls to go to the hospital to meet the ambulance!!

Max simply can not and/or possibly will not sit through his entire dialysis session any longer. He simply just begins to fuss a bit and escalates within minutes to adamantly demanding to be taken off the machine and just standing up and has actually threatened to take out his own needles!! There have been a few days he simply refused to even go to the dialysis center!! The Pastor has spoken to him at length along with doctors, staff, me, etc. and get no response from him. Perhaps he has simply just had enough, but no one knows for sure and I truly suspect especially Max him self.

I have finally experienced a few full days of not being with Max. Today was the first that was free of total physical and emotional exhaustion, although I have to admit I went in and out of bed till 2:00 p.m. I truly was guilt free and was able to some what relax and truly wondered what to do with my self in spite of viewing a home that needs cleaning and dozens of stitching projects calling to me!! The weather, and more to point, the snow MADE me stay in my home. My yard man did my snow and he made it a point to come in and tell me that he did have my drive open, but very much recommended I stay in today and tomorrow if at all possible. We are to drop to very low single digit temps tonight and tomorrow. Thus, I plan to stay in till at least Friday. Also, Max's dialysis had to be postponed today till tomorrow and he will be very tired. Dialysis days are lost for him as he has started to become very incoherent and confused about midway through session and this remains till later part of the evening. Max does not truly know me and actually prefers to just sleep away this time, so it is best he is just left alone to feel free to just sleep.

I am finally truly getting in some stitching time. I have dozens of things that will be finishes in short periods of time as they need very little. I got in habit of taking the "pillow" kits to dialysis as they were easy to do under the limited stitching light and area I had. I will have several done by probably end of this week.

I am now splitting my time in stitching and re-organizing my stitching.
"THAT" room still exists in my home and one way, or another, I am intent on getting through it before spring arrives. There is a major down sizing coming here soon. I will probably be just creating a new Blog for this as there are hundreds of things going to go!! I intend to organize "first come" basis for these things, however, I do intend to give Preference to every one who took the time to send Max birthday and Christmas cards!! Max and I both THANK all who were kind enough to think of him!!

I was not sure if I could remember how to post pictures or not. Thus, I did try to take a few pictures of the frontage of my home. I hope these come across well.

I will begin posting all my end of the year and first of the year finishes within the next few days!!

I AM BACK although some days I do feel buried under these drifts!!
I simply will never be over the loss of Max and Miprezious!!

Love and Hugs to All!!
Deborah
One of these days, I will figure out how to turn these pictures around!!

Drifts are tall as my canes!!

I AM STILL HERE!! - Saturday, November 20, 2010

2010-11-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

I am still here!! I do not like to post and/or remember my major "pot holes" in my road of my life. However, I have been in a complete state of some thing. I just do not even have the appropriate word even!!

I can not even estimate the number of starts and stops I have done on this Blog!! I simply can not get past the picture and name, "Deborah, Max and Miprezious Dee Dee. This day only signifies to me that 104 days ago I placed Max in the hospital, 90 days ago I placed Max in the nursing home a.k.a. "hellhole" and finally 77 days ago our most beloved Miprezious Dee Dee II passed!!

I AM ALONE with my stitching!! Some days it comforts me, but the majority of these days I have just been too physically and emotionally exhausted to care about any thing, but climbing into my bed and try to make it all go away!! I wake early each morning to prepare to go to the nursing home, I spend the majority of each waking hour at nursing home and I try to "decompress" each night after coming home from the things I saw and/or heard at the nuring home. Max has unfortunately advanced to "Stage Five" End Stage Renal Disease. His dialysis sessions are becoming worse each day!! I am REQUIRED to ride the municipal transit handicap van to dialysis with Max, stay the entire four hours of the actual dialysis process and then ride back to the nursing home with Max. These sessions have become excruciating for me as I have to be up and on my legs for about two to two and one-half hours each session to restrain Max from getting out of his treatment chair!! Dialysis days "used" to be my only respite time from this ordeal and now I do not even get those days. I truly have never been so exhausted both physically and mentally!!

I have dozens of quite substantial finishes to post and show since the last time I did do this. I am going to truly try to get back into my posting and Blogging soon. I sit and wonder if I just need to change the picture and the name to get on with things. But, is a different picture and name going to change the fact Miprezious is truly gone and Max is also gone in too many ways!!

I am attempting to change many things and get re-organized here as I have yet another major "pot hole" to get over. Some where and some time, I have injured my self to the point it surely is going to take some pretty substantial surgery to repair. And, this surgery will be on my right shoulder. I have taught, and re-taught, and re-taught, and.............
my self to stitch through all kinds of handicaps. I truly believe I could get through any thing if I can simply just stitch through it. I am not sure at all if I have any chance of stitching through this one although!! I am not able to read with my short term memory problems, television only keeps my attention for very short time spans and quite frankly I do not know what I will do to get through this recuperation time!! It is also looking like very likely I will also be a resident of the same nursing home my hubby is in during this recuperation and rehabilitation time.

I had the opportunity today to re-connect with an old acquaintance who has been at the nursing home. She was ironically preparing to go back to her own home after the same surgical procedure I am likely to have done. She had the great misfortune of getting a horrific infection of her incision that turned out to be MRSA infected also. She has been in the hospital a month and the nursing home six weeks!! She still left with her arm in a sling with a gawd awful machine that made some nasty "sucking" sounds attached to her. She explained to me that this apparatus was a machine to "suck" the infection from her incision continually!! How horrific and such a horrible thing for any one to experience!! She also gave me some advice and it was that even as horrific as my pain (on full morphine) is presently it is not bad enough to finally give in and agree to the surgery to fix it!! This was a horrific thing to hear!!

I am presently working on re-organizing my main room of my "Stitching Sanctuary" once again!! And, as I find my finishes to display I AM going to get them pictured and posted. I may surprise my self with all I will probably find!!

Now, just to find a new picture and new title for this Blog!!

Love and Hugs To All!!
Deborah

P.S.
When you are sending out your Christmas greetings, I would so very much appreciate as many as possible people to send greetings to Max.
He loves to receive mail and cards!! His room mate's family have become very cherished friends to us. These gals are very good at daily placing all his cards on to the wall. I think Christmas cards will be the most pretty of all to display over as much of Max's walls as possible!! I thank each and every one of you in advance!!
Max's Alzheimer's disease and dementias have advanced so drastically that he is equivalent to a child upon receiving mail!!

Max's Address Is:
Lynn (Max) Markham
Eagle Point Care and Rehabilitation Center
801-28th Avenue North
Clinton, Iowa 52732

Tragic Fourth of July - Saturday, July 10, 2010

2010-07-10T12:49:00.000-07:00

I also wanted to add to my posting regarding the tragedy on the Fourth of July in this area.

One of the horses involved in this tragedy was injured and had to subsequently be put down!! This is so very sad for so many!! Rumor mill has it they did an autopsy of this horse and it was found to have had
a bee sting in one of it's ears. Thus, the eye witness accounts of the horses rubbing against each other with their ears and the horse bridle becoming loose and dropping off. I am not a horse person, but that would appear to make sense - if there is such a thing in such a tragedy!!

I still offer prayers for the injured and sympathy for the family of the lady who was killed.

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

Three Days, Two Nights............!! - Saturday, July 10, 2010

2010-07-10T11:35:00.001-07:00

YES, today is number 41, I think, and counting!! I am not sure if these pictures ever got posted on my Blog as I am not good at dealing with UNPLEASANT MEMORIES!! I could not even get this picture rotated properly!!

Please reinforce with me everyone, "Three Days, Two Nights................
Any One Can Get Through These!!

Last year, Max surprised me with a birthday gift of a week's vacation in this one room shack!! For MY own birthday no less!! It was nothing short of the "Griswold's Vacation" and more like the "Markham Vacation To Hell"!! And, Max did not want to come home!! He reminded me, but yet he does not know it is a new day and time to change his underwear, that Eunice and I promised to take him back to this one room shack this year for a much shorter vacation perhaps even a few times during this summer!! And, the poor guy is constantly pacing, looking out the window, to see if Eunice might have come home from Chicago all last weekend and in to this week, so he might have an opportunity to go fishing!! I thought this is just a passing thought and he will give it up when he gets tired of it!! Nope, not this time!!

I kissed my garage floor upon re-entering my own home last June and I vowed "NEVER, NEVER, EVER AGAIN"!! Well, after hearing Max whine all week, I had a moment of temporary insanity upon his asking me just to "check and see if we might be able to get the rental cabin for even a day or two" yesterday and took a cancellation that had just come in!! OMG!! I am totally over the cuckoo's nest!!

I swear to God that every one gets their own favorite blankie and pillow, the clothes on their backs and munchies for three days and two nights!!
I will give in packing the baby gate only to save me from jumping up and down every time Mi decides she is on the lam again!!

Darn little Mi told Juanita she wanted to go out Wednesday as she arrived. Juanita did not know any better and let her out the gate just as I was arriving on the porch!! BRAKES EVERYONE!! Juanita and I began pursuit of her immediately while Max heard my screams and came out finally!! Mi had gotten down the length of our drive and to the curbing where the mail boxes are!! I thought my heart was coming out my chest!! All of a sudden, Max screams out, "get your black a$$ over here"!! Sort of, kind of, wrong pick of words Max!! My beloved Juanita is of the black race and so are several of our neighbors, many which are new and do not know us and now probably do not care to know us!!
No more than got Mi back onto the porch and she went straight for my potted plants and stuck her little hand and nose in them and threw a bit of dirt from each!! Yesterday, Mi again escaped from front door onto porch as church lady was taking Max to dialysis!! She did not get out the main gate, however, she went down the first stage of steps to upper courtyard and decided she would park her self there until her "Daddy" returned!! Do not think so Mi!! She has simply been full of the devil the past few days in the things she has found to amuse her self. I guess she is bored with the three huge baskets full of toys!! I am not hauling all those things down to the "shack" for three days!!

And, wait till I get some pictures taken of "every thing" I have stitched on this week. I am not sure, right off top of my mind, if there are seven, or if there are more!! I did start a surprise kit I found among all the other hundreds in these two stitching rooms full one day this week. It turned out to be a 40-COUNT Lizzie Kate!! What am I doing with a 40-Count any thing!!!!

I woke today thinking it was one horrendous nightmare until I saw Max's fishing equipment stacked along with his pillow and a few other things of his in the corner of my kitchen!! Do not think of leaving any thing until last few days - nope!! We will be packing, unpacking and re-packing for the next 41 days!! I have been here one time too many!! I just have to smile and think that the dialysis nurses will finally see Max at his finest as he will be as a caged animal wanting to escape their clutches that final day of dialysis on August 20!! Hopefully, I can sort of pack and re-pack while he is gone that day!! However, I will have to have every thing ready to go that day and most likely pick him up my self that particular day to begin our drive out to the river and get us set up by sunset!!

Yes, I have had a week comprised of several "moments of temporary insanities"!! Good Lord, what have I done??!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

This is me after a morning of some great catches!! Enlarge, there are some beauties of fish on there!! And, you should have seen the one that got away!!

See, I told you, I had some real fishies!!

This is our total bed on the right hand side of this one room cabin shack!! Right where our heads will be is the wall hiding the flushing toilet. Thank God for walls that hold flushing toilets in places like this!!

Mi recognizes little else, so you usually find her sitting right on top of the bed!!

The bed is to the right of this picture. The flushing toilet and vanity sink is behind this small wall. Towards the back is our entire kitchen area complete with microwave, however, no cook top or oven. Below the microwave is the refrigerator/freezer!! To the right of all this is a small aluminum sink with running hot and cold water!! Only slight problem is I do not allow any water to be run in this place as it smells far worse than some kind of "sulfur" smelling some thing!! Do you see the spacious and lovely cupboard in the middle?

And, just to left is our spacious dining room!! One stop living bed, dining table, furnished kitchen and spacious bathroom with flushing toilet!! What more could a person wish for!!

This is a reverse view of what you just saw above!! This is lovely loft area!! You just need to be a billy goat to be able to climb up there. See that slightly slanted board with slant to the left!! That is a wooden rung ladder that you simply just tip toe up!! Yeah Right!! It is a beautiful area up there with a lovely window that over looks the river and is a beautiful view at night, especially during full moon time. There is a great plenty of lovely mattresses of your choice stacked up on the right hand side of the loft for your sleeping pleasure!! Yeah Right!!

If you look through the trees you just about can see the river view!! And, here sits my Chevrolet Van in front of our home away from home!!

Welcome to Markhams' Vacation in Hell!!

I am so happy this will make Max happy!! It will hopefully erase the horrific Monday, Wednesday and Friday from his weeks for awhile with giving him some thing to look forward to!! I hopefully can find a piece os stitching, that will be so hard, that can take a bit of roughing it with me and hope my days pass very, very quickly. I am just in great hope and will be praying for the best of weather so Max can simply fish, fish, fish to his heart content!! I just hope he does not want to bring his catch home with him!! Last year, I caught all the fish, but then Max had to bait my pole, help me put my pole out in to the water and bring my pole in with a fish on it and he barely got me in to the water when he had to get up again and tend to me!! Thus, this year I hope to just stitch to my heart content while he does his fishing thing!! I am already going through withdrawals from knowing I am not taking a floor lamp with me and thus I will just have to get along with out it evenings!! This could end up paiful!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Fourth of July - Sunday, July 04, 2010

2010-07-07T07:23:00.001-07:00

The above picture came from our local newspaper last evening!!

Unfortunately, it does not appear all too clear.

The Fourth of July turned absolutely horrific for this immediate and next town north of us area (about 20 miles).

As for locally, we have acres and acres of beautiful land edged completely with some hundred feet plus cliffs over looking the Mississippi River, preserved as Eagle Point Park on the very northern edge of our city. It is actually only about 20 city blocks from my home.

And, never a holiday passes, that some child will fall from these bluffs despite the warning signs and/or fences!! It leaves me to wonder where in the world are the parents and what were they thinking!! And, this Fourth of July was very much the same with a twelve year old boy falling some 80 feet down the bluffs. He ended up with some head and spine injuries, as well as some fractures.

These cliffs ultimately have several sets of operating railroad tracks at the bottom of them with the tracks running aside full length with the river. Most rescues have to be made from going miles to one end or the other via these railroad tracks and then after attempt the rescues!! After the person has been rescued and stabilized, it is a long several miles to where an ambulance can accept their patient. This particular rescue took the ambulance transporting the victim to a small neighborhood park that happened to have a baseball field among it about twelve blocks away to an awaiting helicopter which was able to fly the victim to the University of Iowa Hospitals. The local paramedics finally constructed a gurney of some kind with wheels that will attach to the railroad tracks and allow them to simply push it to the waiting ambulance!!

However, things turned very tragic for the town of Bellevue, Iowa about twenty miles north of us. They had their usual Fourth of July parade early Sunday morning. At the end of the parade were the usual horses, horses and carriages and various other horse related riders and things.

I was just sixty years old. All of my life, I have been scared to death of horses as my mother instilled this in me from the time I was a few months old. I was taken to my first parade, in all ten freezing degrees, for Mardi Gras about five months after I was born!! What was SHE thinking!!

My father was on the Police Department and many times he was in the planning of the parade line up. Each parade my mother wanted to know exactly when the horses were going to be put in, how many there were and how far away they were. At first sighting of the horses, my mother promptly grabbed my brother, sister and my self and we were immediately placed inside of our car!! We were always quite upset by this!! This was usually Santa's big premiere for the year, around these parts, and we always managed to completely miss him as he was always the very end of the parade!!

However, my mother hated horses in general, I think!! I always also wanted to see them!! NO WAY!!! Those animals could be "spoofed" and then stampede right through us and/or over us. All these years, right up to this present situation, I always thought how very, very stupid and it just would not happen!!

Well, you live long enough, unfortunately you see every thing!!

During this parade, the horses some how rubbed up against each other and a bridle fell off one and this spoofed them and they went straight forward on a speed run through the rest of the parade. The horses stomped and a carriage wheel ran over several children simply stooped over to snatch up the candy thrown from the moving parade vehicles.

(Thankfully, our town passed an ordinance that no candy could be thrown, but rather had to be passed out by accompanying walkers in parade.) Last count I heard was at least 24, mostly small children, had been seriously injured!! One adult, the driver's wife, was thrown out of carriage and on to a cement driveway from the runaway carriage and was killed!!

The man driving had seen his poor wife be thrown to the ground, but also had his daughter-in-law, 7-year old grandson and 5-year old granddaughter in the yet runaway carriage. The carriage finally crashed and overturned. The daughter-in-law was able to put her arms around her two children and hold them close to her. They escaped with many bumps and bruises only.

But, then that poor man driving. He desperately clung, for all he could, to the reins as tightly as he could. Witnesses say this man's shirt was in shreds as the horses continued on dragging him for over a six block distance over cement streets!! When rescuers reached this poor man he totally refused any type of medical attention and was only worried about his wife and other people injured!!

And, the poor horses were finally stopped in an intersection after colliding with another float!! They went down to the ground and dozens of bystanders immediately jumped on these poor animals to contain them!! I know these horses had to be stopped, however, they had to be even more scared upon dozens of people jumping on them!!

This was just simply one of the most horrific and strange accidents I have seen in some time!! My heart and prayers go out to all the people affected, especially the poor driver of the horses and carriage who lost his dearly beloved 60 year old wife!! How very, very tragic for all!!

Thus, I am posting this to simply say, "I guess my mother was not as crazy as we all thought her to be"!! It is truly some thing to consider when you are attending your next parade and to truly get your hands on those precious children of your own "just in case"!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

Long Day - July 03, 2010

2010-07-03T20:10:00.001-07:00

I had hoped for a bit larger of a picture, however, this is what I got!!

And, after all day, and until 10:00 p.m. this evening, this is all I got stitched!! Not really complaining, as I do thoroughly enjoy each, and every, little "x" I can accomplish. I did get almost entire "sugar" container finished and two pieces of the "lace". The lace is a bit hard as I have to make tiny "pulled eyelet" stitch in the center of each piece. Not quite used to these yet. However, from the amount shown on chart I should be a pro by the time I am finished.

I am truly looking forward to finishing this table topper and displaying it very proudly in my home!!

I had several questions regarding this chart and emailed the designer, Claudia Dutcher. Within a very short time, she responded and very kindly helped me over my questions. She also offered some very helpful suggestions to me for completing this project. Best of all she told me it was not absolutely necessary for me to "pull" any threads at all, if I did not wish!! YEAH!! This was added incentive for me to get this to completion now!!

My poor hubby, Max, spent his entire day pacing in anticipation of fishing!! He has had some very severe confusion in recent weeks. I simply could not get it explained well enough that there would be no fishing by us today!! He even was upset with our dear neighbor as he decided she had taken off fishing without us, while in reality she simply went in to Chicago for a few days!! Guess I am going to have to make sure some one takes him the first of the week, if not before - just not me this time!!

I had so much relaxation, once I got started, that I finally relaxed for first time in several weeks. Guess today worked so well that I will extend my "virtual stitch-in" through tomorrow also!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

FINALLY - Saturday, July 03, 2010

2010-07-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

Hopefully, I finally am settled back into being centered on my stitching and my Blog. It has been sooooooo long!! I did not have a clue as to how long!!

I got up to I.L.C.S. Group having their "Virtual Stitch-In" today and decided good day to begin some thing new. I intend to incorporate a whole lot more and form a new rotation this week!!

Today, I started the Tea Time chart for a table topper by DUTCH TREAT. I choose a lavender afghan fabric to stitch this on. I am quite leery of how this is going to come out as each instruction step seems to get more unclear to me!! Been offered lots of help so I am intent on doing this.

However, in the midst of beginning to stitch finally, I have a whole five stitches, Max came in and told me I had to come out to my deck on my handicap ramp. Was not too keen on moving, however, I did as Max is a bit upset that he can not go fishing today and thought I better check on what he was up to!! When I got out there Max was standing pointing to a very favorite lily of mine which has taken to almost full bloom. Hopefully, I will be able to post a picture on here some where!!

Hope to post more later with real pictures of real progress on my table topper!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

And The Winner Is.......... April 15, 2010

2010-04-16T16:40:00.001-07:00

And, the KUSTOM KRAFTS Chart Winner is:
Jennifer Black

Jennifer, please send me your address via private email please!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY AND THE S T A S H - April 16, 2010

2010-04-16T15:04:00.000-07:00

Good Evening All!!

This is the total sum of months of digging and stacking to the ceiling and wall-to-wall of S T A S H!!

And, it is all going to be STASH TO GO!!

I have not begun to figure out how to list it and/or distribute it!! Any ideas? Wish I had better access to every one's Wish Lists!!

I only know I want it all GONE!!

I have dozens and dozens of pictures to post and things to tell, but I have not had a minute where I have felt up to it when I have had the time. Pretty much only had "down" time when I have not been feeling well the past several weeks!!

Debbie has truly been through almost every single inch of this home, including the entire lower level!! It is now "pretty much all up to me as it is almost all "my" stitchy things"!! Okie Dokie!! I have some moving and motating to get done!!

It is truly a tremendous, best of best, feeling to finally get caught up!!

These pictures are pretty much self explanatory!!

I have another update regarding my KUSTOM KRAFTS giveaway!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

Magazines!! Magazines!! Magazines!!

Charts!! Charts!! Charts!! Charts!!

Yes, even that purse is to be stitched!!

Charts!! Charts!! Charts!! Charts!!

PRACTICE, PRACTICE = PICTURES - Sunday, March 21, 2010

2010-03-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

I put my mind to getting pictures taken and posted!! And, I have made some progress!!
I went out and bought a camera for ME and I have "squirreled" the instructions and CD instructions away for ME!! Selfish, no just safe as I do not want this camera to be closed by DUCT TAPE!!

So, here is my progress!! Not all that interesting, but I was so anxious to prove to my self that I could do this!!

Above is the January, February and March PINE GLEN Monthly series of "Tie Up" Pillows. I am going to make a nice basket out of these along with the monthly "Tuck" Pillows also!! As is, simply is too much temptation for Miprezious to grab one, or more, and declare "oh, a pillow and just my size"!!

Above is my fireplace wall. Recently removed television table to make more room and thus television got placed above fireplace. To the left is my oxygen modulator. Not real attractive, but a bit necessary!! Much to loud to place it elsewhere. To the right is the main hallway with master bedroom at first right and "Stitching Sanctuary" to second left with the bathroom straight ahead. To those familiar with my original

Above shows the best "cloud" wall. To the right, is Max's "rat nest" that he spends about 20 hours per day in!! And, the red jar is "TREATS" and that is Miprezious' private stock. In front of the coffee table is Miprezious' own nest and she demands comfort!! My furniture is Hoveround "friendly" and not really deco attractive!! It was hard, but I am learning to live with things!!

And, you can see the six "store fronts" that I stitched many, many years ago!! They took a period of over FIFTEEN years!! They are definitely my pride and joy!!

Oh, the walls are the newly "faux" painted "clouds" by faux paint designer. And this picture shows the sun shining in on the brand new carpet showing that it is actually several shades of royal navy blue.

And, this completes the tour and the first camera practice!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

It is DISCO Night - Friday, March 19, 2010

2010-03-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

What do you wear for the 70's DISCO? Well, we had a Nurse, Physical Therapist, Max's Personal Caregiver, Eunice and a variety of other friends surveyed and got no two answers that were the same!! Thus, we went just as we were!! This was the event that Max could have successfully worn my dress slacks and actually got away with it, rather than the dismal center of attention he was at the church's Annual Meeting!!

Yes, tonight was DISCO NIGHT at our church provided by our active Social Committee!! I never saw such a variety of disco lights, black lights and lava lamps!! There was a real DJ and overall this was quite well attended!! We actually enjoyed our selves by just getting out!!

I am about to embark on a brand new "step" for me!! "I" bought a new digital camera today!! All by my self, "I" decided on a camera to buy!!
Well, to be perfectly honest, I can not say this!! Kohl's had a "POLAROID" digital camera on sale in their newspaper advertisement today and tomorrow!! I got lots of "Kohl's Kash" when I purchased my new shower drapes and accessories a few weeks ago!! Thus, this $105.99 camera cost me $21.19!! It has anti-shake, zoom, USB Cord to connect to computer or television (that will be the day I have learned every thing any one ever wanted to know-NEVER), no red eye, etc., etc., you know!!
I have already learned how to put in the date and time!! This is huge moment for me!!

There is a CD that you play that is supposed to teach you every thing you need to know to take pictures and put them online for people to view!! We will certainly see!! I am going to give it my very best as I truly want to get caught up on all my pictures and make them the best pictures I can do!!

Thus, I am off to try and figure out where this round thing goes!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

Can you Say DISCRIMINATION?!! - Saturday, March 13, 2010

2010-03-13T17:56:00.000-08:00

I intend to make this as to the point as possible as I am still absolutely so lividly "pissed", yes you read it "pissed", that I can barely get my thoughts organized!!

After sitting by and watching helplessly, I finally demanded a "Care Conference" regarding my hubby, Max, about a month ago!! Well, THE day arrived on Wednesday of this past week!!

It is a LONG story, but most know the horrific Hell that we have been living in since Max was first diagnosed August 15, 2005!! The only thing I can say is thank God our community's medical people were wrong again and Max has far outlived the six months he was given!!

We have been put through a daily living Hell and been through all the hoops and government red tape you could ever imagine!!

I was not getting any where at this Care Conference, however, most points brought up were completely wrong or had no validity whatsoever and thankfully I had asked Eunice to be with us and to feel free to speak up whenever the urge hit her!! Eunice finally had her "fill" of the BS we were dealing with and asked, then somewhat demanded, to know just where Max was on the National Donor Transplant List and just what the Iowa City, Iowa VA Hospital was doing for him!!

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! NOTHING WHATSOEVER!!

Eunice "pressed" a lady psychiatrist that Max has had to see as part of "the process" monthly forever it seems!! Eunice demanded to know just where Max was in the miles of red tape we have conquered, or so we thought!! After much hemming and hawing, this woman finally said, "Well, quite honestly, Iowa City is simply not considering Max for either the kidney he so urgently needs or the liver"!!

Why after these years of jumping through hoops and being at Iowa City VA's beckon call!! Because I AM DISABLED AND IN A WHEELCHAIR!! Yes, Max is to suffer because I am disabled!!

Well who was going to oversee Max's care after the transplant surgery?
Who was going to the pharmacy and obtain his necessary prescription medications and who was going to dispense them daily to him. Who was going to see that he ate properly, got adequate exercise and rest, and was cared for at times when he could not care for him self???!!!
Well, the simple answer to these questions is the same damn person who has been doing it for the last thirty plus years!!!
ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! ME!! and ME!!

Can any one direct me to the best discrimination law firm in the entire United States? Can any one write their Senators and Representatives in Max and my behalf?

As you may easily see, I am yet beyond discussing this situation without the worst anger I have ever had emerging from every fiber of me!! And, as an added bonus the VA is sending in yet another siege of "Visiting Nurses", "Social Workers" and "Physical Therapists"!! I got to the point of threatening the last "Nurse" with my friend, "Betsy Winchester", and I will gladly do it again!! I can still remember my own Physical Therapist tightening his grip on me and whispering, "they will cuff you and take you to jail"!! As I told him then, I do not care as it will give me publicity to this atrocity they refer to as Iowa VA system!! Well, I truly would never do harm to any other individual as has been done to Max and my self!!

For the record, I have climbed ladders and I have crawled down an entire flight of stairs on my belly to get what I needed done and I will do what ever it takes to keep my little family of three's best welfare and safety as my only purpose in this life together!! I am dealing with the loss of use of my legs, not my brain and fortitude to take care of this family. I will do what ever is needed to take care of the three of us!! I have set my self back many times in getting things done that needed to be when I had no other options!! I have taught my self how to get things done, albeit perhaps quite "unconventionally", but all the while done!! And, thus far, I have been fortunate to hire extra outside help when the need has presented it self!! We have never went without any thing we needed or for that matter wanted!!

I can not believe that there is some one who does not have any idea of who I am or what I am made of has the power to possess a rubber stamp that denies my husband the right to his life!!

PRAY you never need to rely on any Veteran's rights and benefits in Iowa City, Iowa!!

GOOD GRIEF - Wednesday, March 03, 2010

2010-03-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

I do not ask for too much!! Why can I not just curl up in my stitching nest and just stitch any more?!!

I have been fighting my new home renovations for weeks now and am ever so close to finishing them. I am HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, with each, and every, one of them - well almost!! I do not like, no I honestly HATE draperies!!

I worked till I was ready to drop yesterday trying to finish up every thing I had here available for me to do!! I can not make up my mind on the bathroom curtains, shower curtains, rugs, etc. I am hedging on "toasted almond", but I do not plan on ever redoing any thing ever again!! Thus, I want to be absolutely sure positively!!

I had to hang the living room draperies yesterday. Kathy K. had called me for our afternoon chat and had very much tried to discourage me from trying this. I thought with my directing Max could do the actions!!
WRONG!! I attempted to make a few climbs, however, my legs screamed in worst pain I have had in awhile and reminded me do not do this stupid!! Thus, I thought if I got all the drapery hooks placed that Max could just put them in the traverse rod holes. I have a set of pinch pleated sheers and "silks supremes" to hook. I got most of sheer draperies done and was thinking we surely could do this job easily!! I then promptly run a drapery hook in the middle of my middle finger on my left hand to have it exit the top of my finger!! OUCH!! OUCH!! OUCH!! Not quite, I had some of the worst words I could ever imagine flow out profusely from me along with a whole lot of blood I was trying to keep off the draperies!! So much for stitching!!

This morning Miprezious had an appointment with a new Groomer. I had instructed Max to stay inside the home of the Groomer today so as Mi could get acquainted with the Groomer and we could evaluate if they got along well or not. I will not leave Mi any where she shows any apprehension at all!! Max can NOT drive any longer alone and honestly it is down right scary to ride with him!! I will gladly take world's worst roller coaster over ride with Max any where any more!! I gathered up my "Windows 7" instruction books and Max loaded them in the van. I planned on simply staying in the van and reading. As usual, Max did not pay any attention to me and promptly came outside after just dropping Mi and running!! I was very irate, but agreed to go to breakfast and come back for her!!

Max went in to pick her up and simply did not return. I had the worst feeling in pit of my stomach that I would be seeing the Paramedics pull up to this home as no one knew I was sitting outside in the van when he did not return. Soon, the Groomer and her assistant came out to the van with Mi and Max was sheeply following them. They promptly told me that Max had fallen down a goodly number of stairs as far as they could tell as they did not witness the full fall, but rather just Max rolling down the steps and onto the floor. The Groomer was just overwrought with fear Max had been severely hurt. Max simply kept saying all was okay until the Groomer and her assistant disappeared and then the complaining began and went on and on!! Evidently, Max did get hurt quite badly, but as of this evening, he still is in complain state and refuses to see a doctor!! Wait till about midnight when every thing always worsens for any one with any thing it seems!!

Thus, I am back to reading my "Windows 7" books tonight and simply staring at my stitching!! I am contemplating on how I can safely touch my fabric though and hope to get back to stitching very soon!! I have gotten through much worse stitching dilemas and will surely again.

I did call my "faux designer" who did the painting of my new rooms and she said she would be right over to assist me with my draperies this afternoon. After four hours she "Googled" on suggestions to handle traverse rods!! Followed suggestions step by step and she now has the drapery traverse rods in pieces across the living room. She went home about supper time with promise of returning first thing tomorrow morning to get this job done one way or another!! I can only hope!!

GOOD GRIEF, I am so glad this day is gearing down!! Tomorrow is a fresh and new day that I will rejoice in seeing come!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

FEBRUARY 19, 2010 - A SIMPLY WONDERFUL WEEK

2010-02-19T15:29:00.002-08:00

I most gladly wrote Debbie her first, of hopefully very many, paycheck this afternoon. It is most assuredly going to cost me a few pieces of stash per week and an overall budget tightening!!

However, she has earned every single penny she got!! I have finally begun to HOPE again for the first time in the last several years!! My house is once again becoming my home. Debbie seems to have the same "mind set" as my self!! She can recognize a problem and either immediately remedies it or disposes of it for good - while only mentioning it to me to be sure I agreed.

Unless you have had to depend on some one else for most every thing you can not understand how great it is to have finally found some one who can think for them self while considering how I would think about the same. For the last few years, I have had to experience such things as "What do you want me to do today?" And, while I would frustratingly usually reply, "clean the house". To immediately hear, "All the house. You mean the bathroom also." And, I would have to indicate yes I meant the entire house and either changing the bed linens or doing the general laundry. I would have to stay alert to every thing going on, or in many cases "NOT" going on the entire eight hours our usual Caregiver was here!!

From Debbie's first day, it was minutes after me telling her she was hired "is it okay to start changing the bed linens"!! While my reaction was apprehension as I could not show her the lower level of our home and there was no one available at the time who could. Debbie's answer, "I can find a washing machine knowing there is one"!!

Max and I had to go to some banking that required our personal attention this morning first thing. Debbie teaches two classes, very early morning at YWCA each morning. We decided we would venture out alone as our bank is only two blocks from our home. We arrived home just after Debbie had arrived. She came to the van to help transfer me and Miprezious went crazy to see her. I was uncertain if Mi would even remember Debbie as she was so ill the first part of this week. Mi is always leashed when ever she is out of entry of our home. Thus, she immediately went to Debbie and since it takes so long for me to transfer, Debbie took her for a stroll down our driveway. Miprezious was escatic to be able to be outside even for those few minutes!!

All I can say, is Debbie got into "That Room" today and spent a majority of her time there. I had a "nasty" night last night and when this happens nothing will do until I get at least a few hours nap. Thus, as soon as we got home this morning I went back to bed!! I asked Debbie to get me up by noon as I do not want my days and nights mixed up again. When she did I was amazed at the many boxes she had gotten, and began to sort, "That Room" into some managable tasks. I had began downsizing all my "stash" late last year. I had began looking through hundreds of books and magazines for things people had asked from me. I have post-it notes every where!! My new bathroom "vinyl", or whatever it is called (never have had any thing, but carpet my entire life in all bath rooms), entrance foyer new flooring and living room carpet are going to be installed next Wednesday. Thus, I think it will be a week some what in "limbo", however, we will be pretty much forced to spend the entire time in my "Stitching Sanctuary"and I intend to make some tremendous progress there. I am declaring war on my stash downsizing to begin on or before March 01 and I do not intend to let any thing get in my way until it is fully completed this time around. Knowing Debbie is truly backing me up on any thing I want done I have the greatest of hopes this will be IT!!

I have a stash downsizing plan and I am going to get it done!! My UFOs are becoming history!! My WIPs are going to be organized and placed where I can reach them. I should begin a contest of guessing how many WIPs I will be putting in a new album to keep my self accountable to doing some thing to each one. This may be the first full month rotation ever known!!

Debbie has part of her home that is an apartment. She rents currently to an 82-year old lady who does mostly cross stitch. She visits her daily and does now some what understand cross stitch. She has also chatted with me about teaching her to cross stitch on days she is not working for us. I have wanted some one to cross stitch with locally for years!! This would be fantastic!! Many months ago, Granny Lou, who is 85-years old and cross stitches daily, Eunice and a few others I can not recall used to meet each Friday afternoon and cross stitch together here. Eunice only did this under protest and has not kept up with her project!! It would be fantastic to get some thing like this restarted also.

Thus, I have always gave my Blog reader's first chance at all the "Stash To Go". I intend to do this again. Hopefully, soon I will start listing what there is that must go!! Kathy K. has taught me to "copy and paste" quite well so hopefully I can picture most of the items. That camera and I need some serious practice sessions and lots of tutoring, however, I am also going to make this a priority. No one is going to believe all the things I have managed to finish since Halloween. I have had few finishes for the entire past few years total, but I have finally got some speed acquired.

I have been stitching on the new Just Another Button Company Months of this Year January Teaspoon most of this week. I have a very nice finish to show on it!! I also just about finished a new bookmark!! An incredible week for me!!

Thus, Max and I are daring to go out this evening!! This is not been done in a very long time!! Albeit, we are just going a few blocks to our church "Game Night" we ARE getting out!!

Things are beginning to go my way and I am becoming a very happy camper again!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2010

2010-02-19T15:29:00.001-08:00

WHAT A DAY!!! Tuesday, February 16, 2010

2010-02-16T18:02:00.000-08:00

Hello To All!!

Yes, I am still here!! No, I have not quite mastered the camera with this new computer yet!! But, I am making progress. I have things set aside that go way back to Halloween!!

I am hoping and praying that today is the first day of my last interviewing and instructing potential Caregivers.

I hired a Canine Nutritionist for Miprezious the week of our past Thanksgiving. Her name is Maggie and she is the BEST!! When I first met Maggie I was so distraught over the horrific news we had just received about our beloved Miprezious that I completely overlooked the fact she was obviously pregnant!! She had her fifth lovely little boy a few weeks ago. It turned out to a very complicated and serious C-section delivery for her and her darling little Frankie. In the midst of the worst ice storm I have ever seen Maggie and baby Frankie were rushed by ambulance to the Iowa University Hospital, about 90 miles west of us.

Maggie and her husband, John, are two of the most terrific people we have ever met!! They have a lovely family of five boys. Maggie and Frankie were hospitalized for about two weeks. We got to meet the new little man last Friday. He is absolutely a real sweetie!! He still needs a bit of oxygen and various monitoring, however, Maggie has him in her shop all bundled in a cute little bassinet and he did not seem to mind our peeking at him at all.

Maggie and John have a very cute and very at home feeling shop. However, with Max's continued problems we rarely go out any more if he has to drive. Thus, Maggie recognized our problems very early on our meeting her and quite soon Maggie volunteered to bring Miprezious' meals and treats to our home!! It turns out they live about one block from us and could actually be called "neighbors". As with all our neighbors they are most helpful and caring to us!!

Max and I were absolutely astonished when we received a telephone call early the morning following Frankie's birth!! Maggie had left instructions with a relative of hers to contact us and make sure Miprezious had her meals and treats!! We were in utter disbelief that Maggie cared so much to check on us!!

Maggie and John make all Miprezious' meals fresh from real foods. John seems to be the baker and makes very yummy cookies and biscuits. Miprezious seems to favor the ones that have real cranberries in them. We generally need to replenish her meals and treats every seven to ten days. Maggie has taken the time to personally talk with Miprezious' doctor and has done much research on her kidney failure.
Very wonderful family and are truly TOP of our list of favorites.

About ten days after Frankie was born I got to chat with Maggie on the telephone while they were still at the hospital. Maggie was having John bring Miprezious refills of her meals and treats. Maggie also told me that a friend of theirs was just starting a Caretaker business. Maggie's recommendation was gold to me. I got very busy the following days my self and I had just not gotten to calling this lady to chat about coming to work for us. I had it on my mind, but just could not make the decision to restart a new Caregiver again!! About this same time, I received a telephone call from Debbie. Her name alone just made her have to be good!! Debbie was ready, willing and able, but I was the problem of simply making the decision to start over again with yet some one else new. Max and Miprezious both especially are requiring more care recently and they are also the hardest to get to make changes or remake our schedules anew again!!

Wanda had come back to help out as much as she could. However, with her working full-time every day and her membership in a great number of organizations made her time with us very limited. Eunice also had been discussing some one she recently met who was interested in working for us. I also very much value and appreciate Eunice's choices and she still does way too much for us her self!! All things considered, I was just unable to make a decision of what to do. I am right in the middle of our Spring cleaning and redecorating!! Each day I am greeted with a very small area, of the almost 200" front picture window, having draperies in place while the larger remaining area covered with Christmas wrapping paper!! A few days ago, Debbie had called me again to check if I had made a decision on hiring her. I suddenly felt like I was "drowning" with too much left undone with the new flooring installation getting closer each day, laundry piles beginning to accumulate, dust bunnies starting to retake the fire place mantle, bathroom tiles to be waxed along with the front window looking like hillbillies had taken over, I finally decided ENOUGH!! I told Debbie I would be most happy if she could begin as soon as possible with us!!

Debbie arrived at 9:00 a.m. this morning!! She is a very pleasant lady who needs little instructing!! Within minutes of her arriving, she asked could she begin changing the linens on our beds!! I told her I had just bought all new linens in my attempt to "freshen" each room in my home. Debbie then asked if I was ready to use the new linens and I told her I assuredly was more than ready. Debbie pointed out that with my very fair skin she guessed that washing the new bed linens would be a good idea. I told her I would love to have them washed, however, I did not have any one available to give her a tour of our lower level and washer and dryer, etc. Debbie promptly said she was capable of finding a washer and dryer and that it would be no problem. She then began to replace the bedskirts. With "the beds" you must get a very large Phillips screw driver and remove several screws and brackets. I had no idea of this!! Debbie promptly located the tools she needed to put the new bed- skirts on, BUT she additionally asked if I would mind if she starched and ironed the new bedskirts as they came out of their zippered bags quite wrinkled!! She also asked if I would mind her dusting and rehanging the canopy. Now, I have NEVER had a Caregiver who did any thing like this "procedure" even upon my direct asking them to!! I was totally astonished that she pointed out these things needed to be done before she could complete changing the beds!! Additionally, this lady gently reminded me I had been up on my legs much longer than she thought I should be and suggested I just sit down and stitch!! I truly thought I was having a "nasty" day with my morphine and that this truly could not be real and actually happening in my home!!

Soon, Max's bus arrived and was waiting for me to appear in the doorway before they begin to help Max get off the bus and in to the house. Debbie immediately asked if Max would be upset if a "stranger" went out to bring him in the house!! It is freezing Iowa!! We have a long driveway and Max now moves very slowly!! Have I gotten a crazy person working for us!!

For the first time in years, I was seeing my house become my beautiful home again. AND, I was fast thinking, I am just giving "yes" and "no" answers to questions and was not having to tell Debbie every move needed to be done.

Lunch time came. Debbie asked what did we want for lunch!! Now, I really thought I was still sleeping and only dreaming or my meds were really kicking my rear today!! We usually make breakfast and lunch, one meal, on dialysis days. Max and I simply are not used to meals prepared for us since before we had the doctor ordered "meals on wheels" delivered each day!! I always have fresh bran muffin batter in my refrigerator so that they can be made at any time. My mother had just requested that I make her a new batch of batter so I had made another for us also. Soon we had the nicest lunch of fresh hot bran muffins and fresh fruit that Debbie had peeled and sliced!! I was then sure I had to have still been fast asleep and in dream trance!!

After lunch, I noticed the large bins of laundry were disappearing. Not only was the laundry disappearing the drawers that held the clean laundry were being emptied on to the beds and were being cleaned and reorganized!! Every thing was beginning to look like my pre-accident
perfect order clean and shinning!!

Late this afternoon, Debbie came looking for me and wanted to know what I had planned for our dinner and could she prepare and/or
cook it!! The plan is to fix our dinner the days she actually is here and to have the other days prepared as far as she could make them ahead!!

Debbie also finally said she could not help, but notice how bad my legs and especially heels have hardened. She said she had previously worked for a podiatrist and could she massage a softening cream in to them.
Have not had this done in years as I am too embarassed to go in to the salons any more. I am in dreamland!!

My house is again a perfect home!! I am anxiously awaiting Friday to get here as Debbie will be back!!

NO ONE WAKE ME!!

Okay, I only had my lovely "trance" until about noon. Miprezious was a bit less awake and looking for a place to nest after Max's taxi had picked him up at 5:00 a.m. However, she has her less perky days now and then. However, by noon, even Debbie was asking if she should call Mi's vet and/or Maggie and she had just met her. Miprezious has had a very "nasty" day and her evening has not gotten much better. My heart has skipped many beats over the course of this day and evening. Mi's doctor was not very optimistic when I first noticed some thing was wrong last Thanksgiving. We have only had the option of changing her food and simply watching her. She had a day or two like this just before Christmas, but she recovered nicely. I have been praying a whole lot as there is little else we can do!!

My mail came and I did have a few surprises!! I received a very cute cross stitch kit from a lady in my ILCS Group. It is a patriotic design that is to be finished in a really nice card frame. It will be a real welcome decoration that will look very nice all year. I truly thought I had received this by mistake. It is from Lily. I have had so little online time that I have missed so many of the nice gals who have recently joined my groups. I have yet to really be introduced to Lily, but she has to be a very nice gal to have sent me such a pleasant surprise. I am now also looking forward very much to getting to know Lily hopefully in the near future. I also received the "Advent Angel" chart I won in the 123.Stitch January drawing. She is a beautiful angel, but just not my favorite to stitch any time in the near future. I am overall attempting to complete my downsizing and this lovely angel will be shortly looking for a new home with some one who is interested in stitching her!! And, finally I received my very first H.A.E.D. chart - all 35 pages of it!! I chose the "Candlelight and Moonlight" chart. All the blues just called out to be in my new living room!! However, I predict this will be the rest of my life project!!

And, I did get my living room repainted by the "faux paint designer" I hired to paint it. She described the new paint to resemble simply just sitting in a cloud and we truly got just that. I have been waiting for all the new draperies to arrive as the sheers need to be hung first and they are back ordered till at least March 09. The new carpet is to be installed on February 24. I definitely will be getting pictures of this.

The bathroom is needing about a day's work yet to be completed. However, the majority of all the wall tiles have been waxed and are shinning very brightly. Debbie did clean and reorganize the entire linen closet today and has told me to leave the other cabinets for her next day here. And, this new flooring will also be installed on February 24.

I found out two people who are very loved by us are very ill while at church Sunday. I feel very helpless to do any thing for these two. Thus, I have found a very nice bookmark by Jeanette Crews Design that I hope go very well for me to stitch and complete soon for each of them.

I have just also started the Just Another Button Company 2010 Monthly Series of Teaspoons. Originally, I have been very diligent in getting the 2009 Tea Cups and the 2008 Tea Pots. I heard "teaspoons" and thought great as they did not sound too interesting to me. Surely I would not want to stitch teaspoons!! And, then I got a glimpse of them. They were instant "must haves"!!

I have several Little House Needleworks pieces started. I did not even know these existed till Kathy K. pointed me to them!! Now, it seems I have an entire notebook devoted to just Little House Needleworks charts!!

I also started a Brooke's Books perforated paper birth sampler for a baby girl. I have never been so frustrated with such a small little piece of cross stitching!! I have every angel and perforated paper kit that Brooke has designed. I can only hope all the different angel series goes much easier than this one!!

I have gathered up all my doll's houses and plan to devote many days of the week to each of their individual constructions!! I love to stitch houses. I got my new copy of Just Cross Stitch today and got a glimpse of a new "building" series they are also beginning!!

And, to see Karen's newest Newsletter earlier this evening with all I have at arm's reach. Karen owns Wasatch Mountain Stitching and her Newsletter is full of the new Nashville Market updates!! So many new things and no space to place them!! My beloved "Stitching Sanctuary" is literally closing in on me!! I have to downsize!!

I also opened my mouth and told the Sunday School teachers I would be glad to resume an old tradition I had years ago, again pre-accident. I agreed to purchase and fill two pinatas for a special treat for the children's Easter celebration!! In researching my online sites for these I found they now have bags, sold by the pound, with pre-mixed candy and small toys to fill the pinatas with. This should make it an easy project!!
Famous last words!!

And, now I go to start planning my start of "Candlelight and Moonlight".
All 35 pages of it. I have to ask some of the "pros" if I am totally crazed in thinking I want to stitch it on a 22-Count white Aida I have staring at me.

Hopefully, I will start to learn how to post pictures as I have so many to post and share!! And, I hope to get some additional online time to get my Blog in to an interesting format. I truly want to get to know so many of the new people in my groups also!!

Just DO NOT WAKE ME!! If I wake to Debbie again on Friday I will make these wheels learn to happy dance!! I am very much torn between is this too good to be true or have I finally went through enough Caretakers that I finally have found the right one!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah and Max
and
Miprezious, too!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, January 04, 2010

2010-01-04T15:33:00.000-08:00

Par to course, Better Late Than Never!!
Nevertheless,
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

Since my computer crash a few months ago, nothing has been the same on my computer, thus no pictures, few updates, and any thing else that could go wrong with my computer literacy!!

BUT,
Out With The Old, And In With The New!!

I must have been a VERY good girl (most likely NOT), or a certain husband forgot his 30th Wedding Anniversary (give or take a few, depends on memory of who is counting-LOL!! Yes, I can laugh about it now!!)!!
Thus, I have got the best and biggest HP Computer which comes in a "Bundle" with speakers, 20" Flat Screen Monitor and whatever else it takes for the whole thing!!
And, Eunice has convinced me that I need and she will find some computer courses for me!! And, I agree whole heartedly!!

As for the heated debate over tile or carpet in our main bathroom, I do NOT agree!! Every one who knows the details well votes without any doubt that TILE is the only choice!! I was beginning to give a bit and had decided to actually go out and look at tile. However, during my end of December bout of bronchitis, walking pneumonia and a bit of flu instantly changed my mind as I shivered each time I needed the bathroom from the moment I entered it until at least ten minutes buried under a pile of blankets on our "wonder" (still wondering how in the world, I let Max convince me to all him to buy this $6,003.37 Therm-O-Pedic Adjustable Bed) bed that instantly heats up just from your own body heat and the super-duper (FLOP-did I actually call it as it is) mattress!! I know my limits well and I have had enough of our new deep-freeze bathroom since loosing it's carpet. Some where there is humor in this "incident", however, I am yet able to find it, so believe me simply do NOT ask!! No one has the stomach for this Max Moment!!

BUT, I AM ABSOLUTELY, OVER-THE-VERY-TOP H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY,
H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y, HAPPY, H A P P Y!!!!

To start, I am able to say, "NO change in conditions"!! My Max and my Miprezious appear to be doing fairly well!!
For months, I have seen nothing, but continued deterioration in my Max. I long ago decided there was little else I could expect. I have conditioned my self to seeing ESRD on every thing concerning Max. For months, seeing ESRD, usually resulted in a world of tears accompanying every shower I took and many times I have had several showers in the same day. I have come to terms with End Stage Renal Disease!! It will no longer rule our lives!!

Max is by no means going to heal and get better. However, I am not going to have to intro my self each time I call the gods who run the Transplant Unit!! They are going to learn to know me by the very tone of my voice. I am going to begin my letter writting campaigns to every one including OPRAH again!! And, you can bet the farm, I am going to begin calling the "gods" and continue to ask "what number are we this week" and if things begin to look steadily not so good, as I have become all too familiar with the past few months, my calls will escalate to "what number are we today"!! We will never give up the one thing that the "gods" can not take from us and that is HOPE!! I am no longer terrified for my self when it comes to my own survival staying totally alone in a strange motel, in a strange city 90 miles from our home!! The last few months have been literal survival training and I have thus far overcome all the obstacles we keep having pop up and attempt to knock us over again!!

No, things are still not "heaven on earth" in our home, but they are also no longer a "living Hell on earth" on the flip side!! I had to tell Max he could no longer just quietly leave at 5:30 A.M. each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday after getting me settled in my chair with every thing I could possibly need for the following four and one-half hours. I finally had to tell Max he was no longer allowed to drive him self to dialysis. Our regular quiet morning routine has turned into a frantic "if" the city taxi cab will show up at all, much less on time, to take Max in to his Dialysis Center!!
And, each dialysis day, Miprezious will begin to get anxious about 10:00 a.m. awaiting "Daddy" to be back home. She has just started insisting that I sit on the sofa with her, in front of the big picture window, so she can hang over the back of the sofa awaiting the first sound of the Municipal Transit special disability bus straining up our hill returning her "Daddy"!!

Max still needs most of my attentions!! However, I think he has begun to learn to at least "ask" before "acting" before he does much of any thing. I believe he has grown to realize and know he is confused and does not see things correctly and to depend on me to be there to sort every thing out for him, regardless if it takes three to four times over and over!! It has truly lessened my load by leaps and bounds as I do not feel like I have to watch him every moment of every day any longer!! Max is in pain that never lets up for him, however, he rarely complains about it at all. He is very fragile and is very prone to falls. There is very little I can do when he does fall, except to pick up the phone and see which neighbor is available. The neighbors are all still the very best and who can be nothing short of our guardian angels!! I would guess that they all would have their Caller ID units programmed to flash P.I.T.A. each time we telephone them, but yet they still "claim we are no bother" to all of them!!

It appears, probably more "wishful thinking" that Max has hit a plateau presently. He seems to be the same, although he is getting weaker each day. Max still feels, and God love him does better than he can do for him self, he HAS to take care of me!! He still has his rituals of getting me up and helping me get back into bed every night. I am beginning to be able to spend more time back in my "Stitching Sanctuary"!! Max comes to the doorway each night and will always say, "let me know when you are ready to go to bed". However, before I can get my self out in to the living room, he will be laid back in his recliner sleeping away as he does about all day and evening. He continues to get up in the night and wander, but I have learned to just let him get up as he will surely end up in the recliner fast asleep within minutes of his getting out of bed. I rely on Miprezious to bark if he dares to move a bit!!

We rarely go out whatsoever any more!! Our groceries are ordered on the computer and delivered the following morning, our laundry is dropped off and picked up at a full-service laundromat by a caregiver, my hair upkeep is done by one of the gals from my shop coming in to our home, our bills are all paid online and most all our purchases for any sort of needs are bought via the computer also. We pretty much only go out for medical related appointments!! Our big outing is usually church when we both are able to go. And, all is relatively going well with out the benefit of any relatives!!

Miprezious seems to be doing well. There are few, if any, laboratory tests that can be done for Mi. There is a blood test that is well over $200 that does tell us what her status is. However, after a REALLY bad initial first day for both of us, I got us together and we hired a canine nutritionalist. "Maggie" now prepares all of Mi's main meals. She also makes all her treats homemade. They mainly consist of dried apples, dried blueberries and homemade blueberry cookies!!
We thought there was not a chance in this world that Mi was going to even look at this new food, much less try it and surely would not eat it!! However, par to course, she fooled us once again!! Miprezious LOVES her new diet and the foods it allows. And, she loves her "Maggie" treats and "Maggie" dinners!! In fact, the first few days, we would place her food in her plate and she actually gobbled it down and then demanded seconds!! We will gladly pay for all the blood work the Vet wishes to pursue, but at this point, it truly matters little. And, can we really handle knowing each day that she is actually failing despite the fact we are doing absolutely every thing we possibly can do for her!!
Mi appears to be in no pain, whatsoever, and, more importantly she is an extremely happy little "furbaby" who becomes more dear to us both each day!! Mi had a wonderful Christmas and had more wrapped gifts around the wonderful "plum" Christmas tree than the very most spoiled child on this earth. Actually, she got so in to opening her gifts and trying to play with each as she progressed that we had to give her a "time out" in the midst of her festivities!!
I finally had to make her go in to the bathroom with her "Daddy" to simply make her catch her breath again and slow her heart beat down considerably. It did not take her very long to come charging back in to the living room with full steam ahead!! This time Max, and/or my self, helped her with each gift so she would not be quite so wild!! She sort of had us both worried Christmas Day as she was completely listless and did nothing, but sleep. Mi was simply trying to recoup her energies from Christmas Eve. Mi has become more of a lap little one in past month which was some thing she rarely would do. There is no complaining from me when she wants to be held as it is quite nice after a "trying" day!!

AND, NOW PRETEND TO HEAR A BIG DRUM ROLL................................
For my self!! I was one sick dog for several days!! On Sunday, December 20, I got quite ill in church. I got chills that would not stop!! Chills is just some thing that does not occur to me with my illness. The nerve system that controls my body temperatures is destroyed and does not work any longer. I have to be quite careful regarding getting too hot and too cold. In the eight years of my illness, I can remember no seiges of being too cold, much less ever having chills!! The following day was our 30th wedding anniversary!! We surely had no big plans, in fact, I was scheduled to have my knees and shoulder joints injected so they would have another attempt to work a bit better. I was too ill, but almost welcomed seeing my doctor. I was then diagnosed with the bronchitis, walking pneumonia and touch of flu!!
I was placed on two powerful antibiotics in hopes of being able to get well as I was needed far more here at home than being able to take the time to be hospitalized!! I progressed well in spite of the antibiotics making me even much worse sick than I was. After just a few days, I decided enough of them!! I was very sick prior to them, but I was REALLY sick with them!! I spent more time in the bed, although I could not have luxury of actually sleeping, for very little of the time, for fear of what woulld happen without my ever on duty watching eye!!

Christmas arrived. I was quite bummed that we were not able to attend candlelight midnight Mass or even Christmas morning Mass as the weather was quite snowy combined with a lot of ice!! However, we had a very nice Christmas holiday, even though it was probably one of the most quiet I have ever experienced in my life!! We had spent the Thanksgiving holiday with our parish priest, however, she detached a retina in her eye Thanksgiving night and had to have surgery just before Christmas holiday. It was the beginning of the nice, even and quiet days we have been having in this household.

During the Christmas/New Year time, I noticed my feet had went ice cold!! No matter what I did, which was little, as I can not tolerate any type of stocking and/or shoe on either foot. I simply could not get this overwhelming ice cold effect to leave either foot.

This past Saturday evening was great!! I had spent almost the entire evening in my stitching nest stitching and truly seemed to not have a care in this world!! The weather had turned even worse than it had been the previous several days. It was both snowy, with an ice covering and the temperatures were between minus ten to twenty below zero once again. Max and I had decided we would not even attempt going to Mass the next morning. We always have to consider that Max has to pretty much push my wheelchair up to the church entrance. We have been assigned a parking place as close to the entrance as there is, but it is still about a regular home's house and yard!! The church members have insisted we telephone when we leave our home about five blocks from the church. They are most willing to come out and assist me and let Max get him self inside, but he will not hear of this. I am pretty much trying to place a leg flat on the ground and give a push off with it to keep my wheelchair continuing to proceed ahead.
However, all things considered we just decided it was best to not even plan on going to church the next morning.
Thus, Max fell asleep in his chair as he does most evenings and actually stayed that way until about 2:00 a.m. I was more than content to just continue on with my stitching and I did with great pleasure!!

About 2:00 a.m., Mi decided that she wanted to be put to bed and she began barking very loudly in the hall that separated Max and I. Thus, we both were suddenly on alert and attention to her!! I decided to just stand up in front of my chair to get my bearings and to let Mi see that I was paying attention to her just to get her to stop barking!! I had a strange eerieness in both legs immediately. I actually looked, and looked again, as I felt I had spilled some thing or I had possibly wet my self!! We have a golden rule in our home and it is you go directly to "the Home" if you should wet your self that we regularly joke about between each other. I thought there was no way that this could have happened to me, but every thing was running rampant through my mind at this point in time!!

I continued to simply just stand there!! I finally sat my self back down in my stitching nest once again. I simply could not decide what was happening to my legs and feet!! Soon, I finally figured out absolutely nothing had happened, or was happening, to my legs and feet except the fact I was standing on carpet!! After almost eight years, I could feel the carpet under my feet!! Max came in to me and tried to steady me up a bit and I took actual STEPS!!
I actually took steps!! Max insisted I stop and not push my luck a bit further!! He insisted that we go to bed. I started to rub my feet and legs against the soft sheet under me and I could feel I was laying on an actual sheet!! Both of my feet felt like they were immersed and tied into bags of water!! It was an extremely strange feeling, BUT it WAS FEELING!! I have not had any feeling in my legs and feet during the past eight years, except excruciating pain. I did not have pain!! The rest of my body is still requiring the intense doses of morphine, however, my legs and feet continue to feel almost every thing and I want to just spring forward on them!! I know I have to take this "thing" very slow and very careful, but I am so elated over FEELING and real STEPS!! Everyone keeps warning me to be careful, take it slow, don't try to take too many steps, just try a few steps a day, etc., etc., etc.!! Eunice is still in utter disbelief. Max just continues to tell me not to keep my weight on my legs and feet all at once and says my legs and ankles are literally swelling up as he looks. This has already made my year!! There is no one or any thing that is going to stop me now!!

I have had my "balloon" broken many times previously!! I am all too well aware of this yet each day. But, I have so much hope, that nothing can happen that we can not handle and this is finally going to be OUR YEAR!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah and Max
and
Miprezious, too!!

Friday, November 27, 2009 - Where is My Calgon?

2009-11-27T19:17:00.001-08:00

It has truly just been "one" of those weeks!! I can only hope that it has been just one!!

Nothing spectacular has happened here in the last day!! I did get a really good start on my new "Santa Swirly Cone".
It is really cute Christmas ornament that is the head of Santa coming out of an ice cream cone, lots and lots of beads!!
I just thought that I had a need for some serious cheering up and this should be able to do it.

However, I can only bring to mind those Calgon "Take Me Away" commercials that ran on television!!
We have had one of the worst week's we have had in some time and I so looked forward to it's end today. Max and I got up this morning and he suggested it be simply a "lazy" day for us all and he got no objections from me!! However, shortly after I began stitching, about 9:00 a.m. the telephone rang. It was the VA Satellite Clinic informing me that Max's liver had taken a serious turn for the worse!! I just about fell over as I can handle no more this week!!
The nurse was advising me to get Max's doctors called immediately and tell them that all his liver enzymes, BUN, Creatine, Potassium and Lipids were off the chart in raising!!

CALGON take me away!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

THANKSGIVING DAY - November 26, 2009

2009-11-26T16:27:00.000-08:00

We had a lovely Turkey Day!!

Some how, some way, Max and I were invited to have Turkey Day with the pastor of our church. The priest asked us a few weeks ago, if we had plans, and if not, would we come to their private home. I have been quite apprehensive about this for about ten days, so much to worry about, my teeth behaving, Max either misbehaving or behaving, etc., etc., etc. However, every thing went off fine and we had a wonderful day.

Mi is still pretty lisless, but she does not seem to be having any more episodes!! Mi has got hundreds of people praying for her and you will never get me to go against the power of our Lord. I am truly trying to prepare my self for what is to come, but you never know, as this would not be the first miracle I have been granted. The priest, extended family and church family have all put her at top of their Prayer Lists.

I did get two finishes, by the very tip of my all, to take to the priest's home. I just had decided to do TWO BISCORNUS about ten days ago to take as hostess gifts in Thanksgiving pattern. Max went to my LNS to pick up some threads I needed and a piece of fabric for these when Kathy K. called me. And, she ever so tactfully, told me, Forget It!! I thought what is she thinking, as I have had some successes with my stitching speed as of late and I was primed and geared to do these two Biscornus. Thank God, for Kathy K. She even had a website for me to go to pick up a "freebie"
Thanksgiving chart for a FOB. Talk about planning ahead. I just barely finished my second stitched piece as we were leaving to go to Turkey Day dinner!! I still would be struggling through my first Biscornu wondering now what would I do!!

Max had dialysis and was actually too tired to do any thing, but sit very quietly while with priest and family. I guess that was some what of another miracle in it self!! The church is having it's first annual soup supper next Sunday. There were "sign-up" sheets placed out in church hall and every one was asked to pick some thing they could do to contribute to it. Max signed us up for serving the soup!! Good Lord, can you see him pushing my wheelchair with me holding a tray of bowls filled with soup!! Another of his "what was he NOT thinking days"!!

I am looking forward to a slightly more slowed down week this coming weekend and the following week. We have only one appointment on one of the week days thus far. Last week, we were tripled up on appointments almost every single day!! Slowed down will be ever so nice!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah and Max
and
Miprezious, too!!

THANKSGIVING DAY EVE - November 25, 2009

2009-11-25T11:25:00.000-08:00

Well, it appears that my Blog is slowly just being totally forgotten!! I have to really try to keep it up from here just for my own memory as I can not remember, even important, things unless I write them down. However, if you are looking for a smile or good word this will be the last place you will want to read!!

I was literally "stoped in my tracks" with Kathy B.'s passing on October 7, 2009. To visit Kathy you would never have thought any thing was wrong and wondered why she was in that awful hospital bed. However, Kathy's telephone calls were beginning to scare me slightly. She was not the happy go lucky and cheerful lady I knew her to be. Her last calls were full of pain, although she tried terribly hard to keep this from me. I still am wondering what and how of the time of her passing. At bedtime, I suddenly remembered, stop as there had been no phone call or email from Kathy B.!! But, I was overly tired and was glad to have been put to bed that night. And, I fell into a deep sleep, however, I was awaken for some reason. I could not go back to sleep nor could I get Kathy B. from my mind. Thus, I finally got up and ever so wanted to pace!! However, my wheelchair would soon have left tracks in my carpeting. I then opted for my stitching nest and tried to get all cozy and settled. However, I became more agitated as the clock ticked by!! I suddenly decided about 1:00 a.m. that I was going to get a list of area hospitals and just call them to check with answering Operators if Kathy B. was with them. I soon found a hospital that was hospitalizing Kathy B.
The Operator asked if I did not wish to talk to the Kathy B.'s Unit Charge Nurse. I thought well I could just to see if I might find out any thing and to ask if, and when, I could visit as soon as possible for me. The telephone was answered by Intensive Care Unit and I got the first big blow to my stomach. I then asked if Kathy was a patient and the nurse answered she was. I then asked if I would be allowed to visit Kathy first thing in later morning. The nurse asked me to hold on the phone a moment and I said sure and waited. She soon returned and then asked if I was Deborah and I told her I sure was. She then told me Kathy's caregiver had given her permission for her to tell me any thing I wanted to know. The Nurse continued in telling me she was sorry, however, she had, unfortunately, just disconnected Kathy's life support just before answering the phone!! I got a second slam to my stomach which simply did take my breath away. I wanted to yell wait a minute as Kathy and I had just spoken in the recent hours so how could this be and was she sure we were speaking about the same person. I finally was able to ask if we left as soon as we possibly could would I be allowed to see Kathy B. The Nurse then went on to say she understood I was confined to a wheelchair my self and that she did not think it would be a good idea for me to travel on such short notice in such a wee hour. I was up and I truly wanted to see Kathy one more time. However, the Nurse continued to tell me that it was her experiences in the ICU that she would estimate that Kathy B. would pass within the hour, so it would not be the best for me to start out. It would be a sixty mile commute. I simply could not believe this at all!! I tried to remind my self that dear Kathy had suffered ever so much, but yet ever so silently the past eighteen months and that she would finally be at peace and suffer no more, but it did not seem to matter at this time and took most of the day for me to come to realize this fact.
Kathy's Caregiver called me and told me Kathy did pass at 2:45 a.m. I do not know why Kathy's passing had effected me so deeply, but it did. I have lost many before her, but this passing I could not find peace with and I was also still very much not at ease as to why I woke when I did. Kathy's memorial service was scheduled for the next morning.
It was very nasty weather and Max was not doing well at all, however, I was adamant that I was going to at least attend Kathy B.'s Memorial. Eunice told me she would get me to where ever I wanted to be when ever I choose so we decided we would go to Kathy's Memorial. Before we had me ready to leave, Max appeared dressed in his dress clothes and insisted on going with us. Thus, we did go and say our good-byes to Kathy B.

The last few weeks have not been the best in this household. Max continues to worsen each day and is to the point of I simply can not come to understand how he can keep going. He truly is trying the very best he can, however, it takes my entire self to watch over him and be sure he is not doing some thing he should not be. The Dialysis staff believes Max is in need of a Home, but at this point I will not hear of such a thing. As long as I see some effort on his part, I am going to continue to try and help him. I get very down and blue with watching him day by day as I know if I were the one so sick he would have insisted I stay down in bed and he would wait on my every need. He still tries to take care of me!! There are more problems than I even can begin to realize, however, we will continue to take them step by step and one day at a time.

I simply thought things were not going well, but I truly did not have a clue. Last Friday, Miprezious was not doing well and some thing was very definitely wrong. I had to be at my doctor's for a scheduled appointment each month that simply can not be missed. Thus, Max stayed with Miprezious at home and Eunice took me in for my doctor's appointment. Upon returning home, Mi was truly in need of some thing. I finally called her Vet and asked that she could be seen before the weekend started. We were able to take Mi into Vet early Friday evening. Mi has never been away from me or placed in a cage at any time in her life and I was already starting to preach to Eunice and Max that this would not change this evening either. The Vet swooped her away from me and attempted to get blood and urine for lab tests. I could not vision how any one could get urine from a small black poodle. I was totally apprehensive and a whole lot "miffed" at this Vet for not answering my questions prior to swooping Mi away from me. When he reappeared he began answering my questions and I became totally "irate" with him as they had taken a "needle and passed it in to Mi's bladder" he finally told me. But, he did not get the urine he needed which I could have told him as I wait for her to empty her baldder, before taking her in the van. Well, he simply was not sure what was wrong with Mi. He said he suspected a "urinary tract infection or probable diabetes"!! I simply wanted to swoop Mi back out in to the safety of my van, but I could not move a muscle in my body, much less get out of there!! The Vet started Mi on an antibiotic series with an injection. He also told me it was of utter importance that I get "some one to help me with getting a cup and catching Mi's urine". I thought he had to be kidding, but he was dead serious!! So, I picked my baby up and held on to her very tight as Max helped get me out of there. Mi slept with out interruption the remainder of Friday night and all day and night on Saturday. I became increasingly concerned with her. She seemed a bit better on Sunday, however, the Vet continued to check with me daily on how Mi was doing. Yesterday, Tuesday, Mi went into some sort of "episode" that scared me to death, so once again we bundled Mi up and were off to the Vet. It is about a fifteen mile commute to this Vet's office and Mi was totally shaking and upset that she was in the car on the highway again. I could do nothing to ease her apprehensions!! She had just laid down and her eyes literally rolled to the back of her head about two hours before this. I had my caregiver working right beside me with Mi beside us so she immediately went to Mi and asked if she should pick her up and put her in to my lap and I told her absolutely. So, Mi laid quite limp in my lap for about ten to twelve minutes and then seemed to go quite rigid. I was absolutely terrified, but she seemed okay upon looking more closely at her. The Vet is saying he thinks Mi had an extreme drop in her blood pressure that had caused this episode and it was the first of many. Max and I had placed Mi's "Pee Wee" pads she is accustomed to using with their right sides down so it resulted in an area of plastic for Mi to use to urinate on. We did finally get a small puddle and Max was able to get it put in a dropper and placed in a sterile bottle. The Vet was extremely happy that we were able to get some urine for testing. He started the lab tests immediately and continued to check Mi. The lab tests finalized and the Vet came back and assured me that Mi did not have diabetes, Addison Disease, etc. that he had been suspecting. I thought good news, but the big blow came shortly!! Mi is not retaining any protein in her blood and this has resulted in Mi beginning to go in to kidney failure!! All I could think was Mi was now going to begin dialysis also and be just like Max. The Vet told me there was caine dialysis, however, it was very costly. I just replied, "oh well, there goes our ranch"!! The Vet told me that the dialysis was not available any where in this area. So, we are to try and change Mi's diet to strictly poultry and vegetables to help her if any help is available for our little furbaby. The Vet told me this was not the news we wanted to hear and that it was not good news!! He then told me we should just take Mi home and watch her carefully and try to make her as comfortable as we can.

I am so way beyond heart sick with this. Many people may look at this as she is just a small poodle, but she has always been Max and my "princess". She even had her little pink hoodie with the name "princess" monogrammed on it. So, the fight is on to save our dear Miprezious!!

Please pray very hard!!

And, all have a Happy Thanksgiving as this is what all should do!!

Love and Hugs,
Deborah and Max
and,
Miprezious, too!!

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 04, 2009 - UPDATE

2009-10-04T14:18:00.000-07:00

It has been way too long since I posted any thing and there are now rumblings of "where is Deborah" among my Groups!! Thus, I am posting to let every one know that I am okay!! I have never been so all out excruciating tired in all of my life!! Yesterday, was finally crash day!! I got up at 5:00 a.m. to see that Max got off to dialysis on time and well. Then I thought well good I have at least four hours of totally uninterupted stitching!! I so had looked forward to these four hours!! But, no I zonked out and went into deep sleep!! Max came back at 10:00 a.m. and I got up to make sure he was okay and to fix us a quick breakfast. I got this accomplished and went back to get a very troublesome knot out of my #12 Perle thread I am using on my newest project THE SWEETHEART TREE "Stitcher's Favorite" Biscornu. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep again and thank the good Lord so was Max!! He awoke me needing a multitude of nothing, but serious things to him!! However, to my shock and disbelief it was 6:00 p.m. and Miprezious immediately also started demanding "Mommy" time and was quite in a "snit" her supper had also not been served. I had pork with sage and onion dressing in mind, but it was not some thing to have been started at 6:00 p.m. at night, short of wanting to eat at towards bedtime hour. Thus, I had to do an about face, and decide what I could cook in an amazing short time!! I decided on Birdseye Alfredo Chicken Voila in which I add a package of frozen Reames Home-Style Noodles. Thus, I had dinner made and ready to be served within a very short period of time and we all did sit down and ate supper. I told Max he could at least try to help me do some of the cleanup and dishes and he readily helped. However, we both went back to our separate spots and both fell to sleep again till about midnight when Mi woke us both up protesting she had not had her ice cream bedtime snack as of yet. We got ice cream for every one and quickly ate it and went straight back to bed. I literally had slept from Friday evening about 5:00 p.m. until about 8:00 a.m. Sunday!! But, I truly had an extremely hard week with Max!! But, yet my sleeping did not stop with getting up on Sunday!! I got up about 8:00 a.m. today, Sunday, to enable me to get to church on time. We barely slid into church on time and we have been assigned the very front pew as it will accomodate my wheel chair. I was in the service, but no way could I follow along and keep up with the right place through out the service!! Upon getting home, I fixed some sausage and eggs. and we all ate and it was back to bed for every one again. We set two alarms as we were scheduled to return to church for the annual "Blessing of the Animals" Service at 3:00 p.m. Both alarms rang and we both heard them and one thought the other had gotten up to get the other person up in time, while in reality neither of us had gotten up. About 2:50 p.m., Max came running in my bedroom and told me we were going to be late for the Blessing Service. I got up and literally jumped right back into my church clothes, go Mi ready and we were off to church again. I have vowed to stay awak until at least bed time this evening as NO ONE needs to sleep as much as I have done all weekend!!

But, this sleep was such a welcome blessing!! Max has taken to wandering again and when he is up, unfortunately, I must also be up. Poor Max has had an absolutely horrific week once again this past week. He grows weaker each day and can do less each new day!! Max simply is not doing well in any shape or form!! He continues to deteriorate each day!! I have vowed to keep him at home just as long as I posibly can!! He is confused most of the time and is not able to follow even my simplest instructions!! He has fallen twice this past week and both were quite serious falls. I believe it was Thursday he fell flat on his face in the middle of my Stitching Sanctuary and there was no getting him up as far as I was able to do!! I punched the push button for Eunice and Marion when I discovered there was no getting him off the floor and Marion responded immediately. Max has lost such drastic weight that Marion was easily able to wrap his arms around Max and pull him straight up to being on his own feet again.

I do not have the slightest idea of what I am going to do at this time. I have been able to get a gal part-time and her name is Lisa. She is really very good and will do any thing that I ask of her!! I also secured a way of ordering all my groceries needed and have them delivered. This is a very great help. I found a laundromat that will take our wash in first thing in the morning and have it ready by late afternoon at the latest of the same day. This helps immensely!! Lisa is more than willing to drop it off and pick it up!! I have had to resort to taking the Municipal Transit System my self about a year ago and am quite sure both Max and I can resort to it again if the need arises. Max is still driving, but only when he has me in the car with him so I can be that second pair of eyes looking and watching the other traffic. However, we both know it is only going to be a very short time before he can not drive him self any more.

Max just continues to deteriorate is about all I can say to describe his condition presently!! I fear should his name come to the tope of the National Donor Transplant List tomorrow it will be too late as he can not handle that type of surgery in the physical shape he is in today any longer!! It is simply a very sad and tragic thing to see happening!! I do not think Max has given it much thought or at least he has not indicated such to me!! It is all so just unfair!!

I am trying to stitch to keep my mind at ease and sane through out all these weeks!! I do have a whole bunch of finishes and can not wait to get time to photograph all of them and additionally my Stitching Sanctuary real soon!!

Well, I just wanted to check in with every one and let you all know that I am okay!! Unfortunately, I get very little time on the computer any more. So, please if you need to get in touch with me, please write "IMPORTANT" in capital letters in the subject line on your email and I will try to skim my emails every day or so!! I miss keeping in touch with you all and also just reading and keeping up with the Groups. I am hoping this is just a temporary thing and will not last too much longer. I just feel trying to take care of Max is far more important than any thing else I can do right now!!

I hope all of you are welll and thigs are going okay!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

SEPTEMBER 21, 2009 - I AM STILL HERE and AM BORING!!

2009-09-21T21:04:00.000-07:00

Greetings!!

We are all still here!! Do not ask me any thing else as "I do not know"!!
My computer decided to quit working, with the help of Max, about three weeks ago. I just got it back from the Computer Tech on Saturday. I thought I would truly miss it, but I found I did not. Guess this addiction has run it's course, very thankfully!! I always feel guiltly I am going to miss some one needing some thing so simple as just an added ear to listen or eye to read. However, I got so much stitched during this "down" time!! I think I had six finishes!! That is more than I had many of the previous entire year's times!! I want to get these things pictured and also the very lovely gift Trecie sent Miprezious, however, the camera and I are not coordinating presently, but hopefully one day very soon.

Finally, found an optometric shop in this one-horse town this evening. Eunice drove me down to eye specialist in Davenport (50 miles south of us) last Thursday. Both my regular and stitching glasses had drastic changes along with info I have fast growing cataracts. The eye doctor wants to remove them as soon as possible, but it will just be another "iron in the fire" around here presently. I found out this morning we have two optometric shops in this entire town!! Went to one this morning as other was closed till mid-afternoon today. In 2004 I had to go to this eye doctor for some thing strange at the time going on and I can not remember all the details, however, my mother informed me that this Optometric Center had really messed up the problem and made it far worse. Everyone told me not to pay the balance I had owing to this "quack" of $140. And, for the first time in my life, I did not pay this guy!! We went into his Optometric Center this morning in spite of the problem FIVE years ago for lack of better choice.
The gal did not even want to get up and exert her self!! When Max began demanding service she finally got up. She took my prescriptiions and insurance card and went into a side room. She came back wanting to know if I wanted to pay the $140 I had not paid. I just glared at her and asked if I looked that stupid!! So, this afternoon, right before supper we went to the other Clinic and got excellent service and two pair of glasses ordered.

Max is not well at all. I am guilty of not being able to handle all that is being thrown at me right now!! I hate to admit such a thing and Eunice tried to tell me I should not feel this way this afternoon, but I do. He is confused and can not follow even the simplest of instructions at this time. I got really disgusted with every one last week and I called a different Clinic and got a new "endo" doc!! He told of actually working seven years at the VA Hospital Max is going to for his transplants. This doctor said he very much doubted if a "real doctor" had seen any of Max's tests and reports as of then. He also said he would not accept any of their results and/or films, etc. So, poor Max has to have both upper and lower scopes and a whole morning of CT Scans.
It was scheduled to begin tomorrow, however, par to the course, this wonderful Dialysis Center refuses to cooperate with this particular doctor in any way, shape or form!! Thus, every thing has been moved to Thursday as of last phone call. I am very confused about what I should do if this new doctor does not do some thing soon. We have always said we would take care of each other until bitter end, unless it just became too much. It is too much!! Every one, including Eunice and her hubby, are advising me to place Max in a Nursing Home. I simply will not give up this easily!! Thus, needless to say, things are getting quite "intense" around this household!!

I did hire a new gal, Lisa, today to take over keeping the home clean and some what organized I hope. She is a young mother of a five year old little girl who is a real cutie. She was born at 26 weeks and only weighed slightly over a pound. She was in the Intensive Care Unit at University Hospital for four months!! Lisa is a very friendly gal who came highly recommended from a dear friend of mine. He worked with her at our Quad-City Airport prior to her giving birth to little "Faith". She was here today and did not run so I "think" she will stick it out here. Things have just kind of simply not got done here and I will gladly keep her very busy for at least these first few weeks. Hopefully can then taper her to need for keeping the home clean, groceries, appointments, etc. Finding Lisa has been a big relief for me right now.

I am off to actually stitch a bit before going to bed. Max is also "wandering" in the night and this means I have to "wander" also so I am grabbing a nap when ever I can. Poor Max will be 65 this Friday and instead of a big birthday breakfast he has two bottles of some very "yucky" stuff to drink. There has been so much new "yucky" stuff coming in this house that Eunice took it all home and only left was needed on day one when ever that begins!!

Hopefully, I can get back into some interesting things to write and get lots and lots of pictures that I have intended to show. My new gardens almost got finished this year. I have totally finished my "Stitching Sanctuary". I have at least the six new finishes!! And, I can not remember what all else is sitting here!! Guess, I will be for finding out here soon!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

SUNDAY, August 16, 2009 - VAN LIFT "1" and DEBORAH "0"

2009-08-16T23:10:00.001-07:00

Well, not looking too bad all things considered at least yet!!

I swear to God, freaky accident and my name go hand in hand!! If it can happen it will happen to me!!

I am trying to figure out a quick and condensed version of this as the pain is excruciating just after a few hour's nap!!

This afternoon Max announced his daily trip to the Supermarket and Miprezious had just enough of these and demanded to ride along!! Mi can not go in the van unless I ride along to make sure she is secured at all times and with today's sauna hitting 85 degrees after early morning storm I had to also be assured she would be kept cool enough. Mi is jet black and just seems to soak up all heat!!

So, I have to go find my finest pair of flip flops and snap all the snaps on my finest house frock and run a comb through my hair. And, off the three of us go to the Supermarket!!

Well, we arrive and immediately it was the usual fight with Max to circle till he found a parking spot up front so Mi and I had some thing to do. I do not mind an occasional trip out just to "people watch"!! Arrgg!! Bark!! Bark!! And, those noises were not from Mi, but rather Max that he had to "jockey" for a good parking spot up front!! He finally lands the big Chevy Van and off he goes.

And, Mi starts in her usual watching and occasional comments on the people going to and from!! We see people go in after Max and come out before Max!!

It was beginning to get a bit warmish so I hit the automatic side door of the van next to Mi and I. A short time later, I noticed a very elderly woman intently watching Mi's escapades and my trying to keep her in her seat!! I was thinking I would love to have taken Mi over to this lady's window and allowed her to pet her as you could just tell she really wanted to do so. I had decided "should" Max return before this lady's driver that I would make him take Mi over to see this old woman!!

As I was watching and balancing Mi I thought I felt the seat move under me and thought "Good Grief Woman get a grip"!! Suddenly, I knew I was moving, but had no idea of what was going on!! Max had just had our van into the Service Center about ten days ago as the Lift Control had been broken the night of the Fourth of July fireworks and had to be repaired!! I mean all the wires got jerked out of the hand control and it got physically dragged about 25 miles. We had a ten year old grandson of Eunice's with us and he kept saying, "Mr. Max some thing is dragging on this van" repeatedly!! Well, what did this small boy know was Max's response to me!! Well, that small boy knew far more than Max as the hand control had gotten stuck in the automatic door for the umpteenth time since we have had it and gotten torn apart!! Dah, Max might you just even had a wee idea the boy knew what he was referring to!! So, the van and the lift and it's hand controls went into the Service Center to a standing open Service Order to Rewire and Recheck entire lift system of this van!!

Thus, today that darn thing just took off. I had not even touched the hand control and, in fact, it was laying across my thigh!! However, I was mysteriously moving rather quickly straight into the cement payment below me!! But, in this descent, my right foot got wedged under the lift seat and my left foot got wedged under the front seat!! My legs were literally doing the splits with both ankles turned the wrong way with excruciating pain shooting through my entire body!! I simply clung to Miprezious with every attempt to keep her safe and unharmed!! Well, this old lady who was watching us, began to scream for help!! Soon, two men were trying to stop that damn lift and all the while try to hold me up so my weight was not making my legs worse and in an effort to keep me level with the seat!! A lady ran over and talked Mi into letting her take her and proceeded to stand under a shade tree and try to calm her!!

These men frantically tried to free my legs one at a time. They were getting no where quickly. Finally, they just twisted my left knee all the way around in an all out effort to free my left foot!! By now, this house frock was beginning to unsnap many of it's snaps, but frankly at this point I did not give a care!! With two more additional men they were able to lift my body enough to have my foot some what free and were able to set it free and eventually the other.

I was literally seconds from that lift crashing into the cement ground!! I do not even want to think what would have happened if it had!! I already was literally hanging by my ankles from the van floor out the side of the van with both legs completely caught and unmovable.

I got several scrapes, cuts, abrasions, a few pavement burns, sprain to one ankle and one knee and I do not want to think of the bruises that will be showing by tomorrow morning!! Max's pictures did not show the injuries well at all. He will have to give it another try tomorrow morning.

I know, from too many past injuries, that it is always worse the second day!! I do not know how that could be possible!! I do not ever remember pain like I am having this evening only after a short few hours of napping!!

I swear to God WHO could get caught in their own lift device, but me!! I felt like a complete idiot until after these wonderful men got me freed and then attempted to put the lift back into the van and found there was no controlling the darn thing. The slightest movement in the cable at all set it off for a new and different surprise each time they tried.

Needless to say, Max will be waiting on that Service Center's door step first thing tomorrow morning. The owner is a friend of mine and he does not "appreciate" any "come backs" of any kind and prides himself on this fact!!

This man will literally blow the roof off that Service Center and only God will be able to help the technician who worked on this lift last week!!

Meanwhile, I truly think this is going to truly put me out for a few days or more.

My additional morphine available to me is not even touching all the pains from this little "incident"!! My dear lift chair in my Stitching Sanctuary looks better every time I have to go out to me as I know I am safe, cool and do not believe I could be hurt in it. It is going to take some where quite special for me to even want to get in that death trap of a van again any time soon.

You know, this summer has not been kind to me in the least little bit this year!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

H O P E ! !

2009-07-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

HOPE is a small little word with a powerful punch!!

Don't ever ask me what I had for breakfast any given morning, as there is probable little hope I will be able to remember. However, ask me any time about 5:00 p.m., August 15, 2005 and I can not forget that very moment. This is when I had for the very first time heard, "So sorry Deborah, nothing more can be done"!! I had just transferred into my home, after sitting in a Court Room almost all day watching the prosecution of my sister and her decision to break into our home and rob us, while I had laid with full life support keeping me alive 120 miles away in that past year!! While experiencing many emotions and feelings never previously ever considered, much less ever considered I would have to deal with, I was handed off, by one of my attorneys, my ringing telephone. I then heard, "so very sorry, Deborah, there is nothing else that can be done" for the first of many times to come!! Unfortunately, at that moment I was being told Max was gravely ill and our general practitioner had come to the conclusion nothing else could be done!! We were ultimately given about six months more life expectancy, unless a donor transplant could be found!! And, thus my fight for Max's life began!!

I can not remember each battle, and truly do not want to. This has been the longest four years of my life. It has been one long series of wins and loses!! I am sure I could put them all together, but it would take days and it matters to me little at this time. That is, unless I could turn them into the "Television Movie of the Week" and make my first million on another very badly chosen script!!

I think every one knows I have pretty much been on complete bed rest for the better part of the recent months. I recoup a little bit, just to be hit with some thing else to take me two more steps in reverse!! Last few days have not been good!! But, nevertheless, good ole Uncle Sam sent additional greetings demanding my presence at yet another pre-transplantation "conference"!! Realistically, Uncle Sam, a.k.a. Veterans Administration, is looking for a "nice" way to say, "so sorry, Mr. Markham, but we can not transplant a liver and kidney in you because........."!!
Well, to put it as politely and nicely as I can, "Over My Dead Body"!! Max and I have had more than our share of "ups" and "downs" with our relationship. However, had it not been for Max my butt would still be rotting away in that "hellhole" of a Nursing Home I had been placed in!! Also, apart we both just have long and hard struggles, but together we can not be broken by any thing or any one!!

Thus, we had to be on the road again this morning, headed west the 90 mile trip, to the Veterans Administration Hospital!! I was in excruciating pain and overly tired before we got started and every mile just became worse!! I was primed and readied by the time we arrived in Iowa City!!

We were just there about two months ago, when I spent a grueling day going through what a team of six psychiatrists thought would be role-playing which I put an immediate halt to!! This day then went to one scenario after another of a game "well, if this happens, what will you do, and if that happens, etc., etc., and etc.!! After six hours of this, the plan was to put me through a three-hour series of memory and agility testing!! Good Grief!! What part did not these "overly educated a$$es" not understand that I am on more morphine daily then most people ever encounter in an entire lifetime and I am in a wheelchair?!! About noon this day, I finally raised my voice to just an octave below screaming at them "enough"!! I would meet any thing presented to me and either handle the situation by my self or place people back on payroll to handle it for me, BUT every thing and any thing WOULD be taken care of!! I further told them I would rather be headed back east home than spend another three hours repeating myself!! Suddenly, we got a previously unscheduled recess. Max and I left the hospital and found a wonderful little deli and had a delightful and leisurely lunch.
Upon returning to the hospital this six panel "whatever" had disbanded and word was left they were done with me!! Max had to go on with about two more hours of testing!!

During this time, I had suddenly been scheduled with a pair of Social Workers (we all know how I "love" Social Workers - NOT!!) while waiting for Max. I was informed of several things at this time, but the only thing that remained in my memory was my having to stay in a hotel for about six weeks alone and then an additional three weeks in the hotel with Max "if" a transplant was going to take place!! There was much other information given to me, at this time, but every thing was lost as I knew six weeks alone in a hotel having to commute back and forth each day was all that I could absorb. It was one of the first times I felt "not a chance and no hope"!! Hopelessness is not some thing I will ever accept "gracefully" and I come back "swinging"!! I had come to the decision of simply "Whatever"!! "What ever" could they do to me to MAKE me stay nine weeks in a hotel!! I do not handcuff to a bed rail easily!! So, "what ever"!!

I had a rather "uncomfortable" few days!! I then was once again able to get ahold of my self!! I personally, very much, do not believe in fear. Fear only gets a life, "if" we give it one!! And, I have learned so very much from knowing Eunice. One of the big things, I had to work on was worry. Fortunately, Eunice has been working on this problem with me for several months and I have learned from experience not to let worry come into my life, until it truly comes in and not a moment before!! These things coupled with my deep belief in prayer carried me through!!

However, a few weeks ago, we had gotten another "letter" to be at the Veterans Administration Hospital!! A friend took Max and I stayed at home. I was happy as a clam, having nothing to do or any one around me at all!! Max returned home much sooner than I ever expected rather upset!! The staff at the Veterans Hospital refused to go any further with this Transplant Process with out my presence!!
Personally, with my attitude coupled with my pain levels, I would have advised them to "rejoice and be glad" I had not went along!! Nope!! Every thing had to be re-scheduled for today!! Okie Dokey!!

Thus, this morning at 6:00 a.m. we were up and making our way back to Iowa City!! I am speechless to describe my attitude and demeanor of today!! It was plainly the worst ever through this entire "Process"!! Max had the usual tests and moderating. I had a bad incident prior to leaving my home this morning - I could not put my hands on any Aida cross stitch projects!! I had simply forgotten I needed my "Mighty Magnifier" lamp to use any thing other than Aida!! First appeared nothing to "tame the beast"!! Then, I sudden saw a glimpse of a 3-D Christmas Card I have started on perforated paper!! Such relief!! Without realizing it, I have pushed all my Aida WIPS to the very back and deepest bottom of my WIP area, as I have absolutely fallen in love with linen and evenweave. Big problem for another day!!
We got on with our drive, and I started thinking about all the members who post about stitching while traveling. I never used to be able to read, do puzzles, write, about any thing while riding in any thing with out consequences of car sickness.
This was some thing I really did not need, but this was the kind of morning to push all limits!! Thus, I pulled out my perforated paper and supplies and began stitching on my "Snow Globe". I do not know what peaked my interest, but suddenly I realized some thing simply did not look right!! Thus, I just stared at my piece of perforated paper contemplating how to make the "cut-outs" for the 3-D Card. Good Grief!! I had started the "Snow Globe" design the wrong way on the paper!! I suddenly calculated needing 22 squares more above my stitching, while I only had 15!! Well, as my father always used to say, "you can not make applesauce, out of horse shXX"!! Sorry, just that kind of day!! Thus, some one will be getting a "one and only" snow globe stitched insert in their Christmas card this year!! There was nothing or no one who could possibly ruin this day any further, so I amazingly took it in my stride and just kept on stitching!!

Max finished up his business by about 10:00 a.m. and the "Social Worker" who had requested to have my "presence" had made an appointment with us for 1:00 p.m.
Thus, Max and I got back in our van and found a Perkins Restaurant for a fantastic "brunch"!! We just took our time!! I casually mentioned trying to find a LNS, but this idea went over like a lead balloon!! I do not know if Max had a LNS on his agenda or not, would bet "not", but as he was trying to maneuver my wheelchair from under the table he just barely scraped my leg. I initially did not even give it a thought!! A lady sitting at the next table stopped me and asked if I knew I had been injured while being pulled out from the table. I could not figure out what she was talking about, but decided to look down at it and only saw massive blood!! It takes little, or nothing, to get me to bleed on "bloated" days like this and bleed I did do!! Unfortunately, we had to spend a considerable amount of time on clean and patch up duty before any thing else!! Thus, we went back to the hospital and we sat out in the sun for a short time. It was only high of 64 degrees and wetness after a rain day, so the sun felt so good!! Finally, it was our scheduled time!!

We arrived at the Social Worker's, Carol, office right on time. She asked that we just go into some empty exam room to wait for her to finish her lunch!! Yeah, sure, take your sweet time lady was my only thought!! I had not actually seen this woman yet, but only had heard Max's rants and raves about her the past two weeks!! There was a large portrait of all the Transplant Staff on the wall. I told Max we could start the games early by letting me try to pick out our new "special buddy" from Max's clues on the portrait. First guess, I got her!! Well, that was not too entertaining for very long!! Well, another stitching break. I managed to get all the many "snow" confetti stitches finished!!

Carol finally arrived in our new "conference" a.k.a. exam room about 1:15 p.m. She then proceeded to sit on one hand to the other in an attempt to write and also keep warm as the room was so cold!! Finally, she simply had to go find a sweater as she was just too cold!! I was going to offer mine draped over the back of my wheelchair, but you never know about Max and my quick departures where there becomes a need!! Finally, we got yet another interview, that I alone have already been quizzed over at least a dozen times!! Thus, I just decided to ask whether that computer "thing" she was working on was incapable of reading the notes the last twelve interviewers had made so it would save us all a lot of time (oh, the urge to just say "a lot of valuable stitch time)!! Well, yes it did and she did not know "why", but just she had to fill out the forms completely!! I just gave it up and went back to "my" old reliable "what ever"!! Well, she was very worried about my safety as Max's "Support Person" so could not our "Back Up Support Person" step up to his "Support Person" and we ask some one else to be his "Back Up Support Person"!!
Well, it took me a minute to unravel all these "Persons", but I told her I could very assuredly tell her "NO, that most surely would not happen!!" Well, did I mind "sharing" with her why not? I told her I did not mind in the slightest, as we simply did not have a "back up support person"!! What about possibly a grandchild? Well, if we would have had children, which we did NOT, they might have responded, but I was quite sure "grandchildren" were out of the question!! Now, I got a bit miffed here as you have to be 18 to be considered a "support person" - I asked just how old did she thought we happened to be!! Oh yes, guess I would be correct then!! Much discussion ensued, but the subject of a "Support Person" was lost in the big tangled mess!!

Carol went on to quiz me over the possibility of us asking a potential donor for their kidney and/or section of liver!! I had ended our "Support Person" discussion with it was Max and I against the world by OURSELVES and we had long ago accepted this and possibly Carol should also move her mind set to this!! I truly thought this was "the point"!! Carol wanted me to be sure there was not a friend, possibly a person Max had worked with, etc., etc., etc.!! Can you even begin to imagine hearing, "Uh, Hey, Deb!! You know you and I have worked together a long time, you think you might not miss a kidney and/or part of your liver?"!!!! NO, I can not even imagine such a thing!!

Well, I started not believing a word this woman had to say to me!! However, I walked out thinking God had placed her especially right in my path to watch over us!!

Carol has above and beyond promised an end to this insanity by mid-October!! At that time, Max will finally, just over four years later, be placed on the National Donor Organ List!! I was busy thanking the Lord, when I heard "Um, now Max has Type O Blood. That will place him 3 to 5 years down on the list, give or take a circumstance or two!! I immediately begin to think, Carol, Max is Type O Blood which is almost the universal blood type!! Where in the world are the rare blood types on "this list"!! Well, Max will be placed on the National List retroactive back to June 16, 2008 as this was his dialysis start date!! Why can I not shout "Happy Dance" on my rooftop?

Carol "assured" me that she would be placing in the record and having held on "stand by" a private ambulance service to transport me to and from the hospital each day as they do NOT have any vehicles that have access for a person to be transported in a wheelchair!! Carol says I will only be required to stay 7 to 10 days in the hotel alone and when Max is discharged from the hospital we would only have to stay another week or so together at the hotel!! She said I was required to stay in Iowa City to "support" Max's getting up to walk several times each day immediately following his transplant as the staff is too busy to make sure each patient is assisted and does this walking several times a day!! I absolutely QUIT asking do they not see me as a disabled person in a wheelchair that does not walk herself, much less support a man walking immediately after surgery!! She said if I needed further "help" at the hotel room the hospital would provide it. I ask again, perhaps they should provide this "help" for Max where it is needed and could be used!! I will be glad to go home and just get the heck out of the way!!

I was completely stunned with Carol's time frame, hotel "help" and actually knowing Max will be listed on National Donor List finally!! She went on with so many other details and I am lost as to almost all of them!! I keep questioning Max if I did not have a day where my morphine had gotten off balance again!! I am continuing to question this entire day!! Max keeps assuring me this is a perfectly normal day for me and I am having no "episode"!!

And, as we progressed on, Carol discovered Max's Vie Nam tours. These have virtually went totally unaddressed for all these years and now suddenly she told us we were entitled to an extremely substantial amount of tax free income also from these as Max did develop prostrate cancer some years back!!

Carol seemed very dedicated to her job and also very proudly told us she was very sympathetic to the Viet Nam veterans!! She convinced me she was totally knowledgeable about all aspects of the different Veteran's Acts and all the Rules and Regulations. Why can I not bask in the wonders of the possibility that we have finally won this battle I have appealled, appealled and appealled?

I guess all I can do is now sit back ,pray and HOPE!!

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah

THURSDAY, JULY 09, 2009 - EVALINA ZAMANA

2009-07-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

Good Evening to All:

I have a quite lengthy entry to night, but I truly do not have the words to express what I am really feeling!!

I have been on bed rest all week as I am having some problems the doctor simply says "Watch very carefully. Either some thing else will happen or a "bug" will run it's own course"!! Famous last words the last two times I found myself being rushed to emergency surgery during the night!! But, I do feel a bit better tonight and am hoping and praying the "bug" passed!!

I have been in total bed rest for approximately the last three days, but sort of feel like what ever it was has passed, I hope!!

Yesterday, I answered my telephone and heard the words Evalina Zamana and stopping by!! I got instantly very excited, but knew there was absolutely no time to do much than get me out of my night gown, run a brush through my hair and have Max get me seated comfortably on my new deck to wait for the expected visitor. I had already reasoned through my mind that Evalina would have been talking about an impending vacation long ago and I would have been notified if she was going to be any where in this area!! But, I was very groggy and confused!!

Soon a strange car pulled into our driveway and I certainly did not recognize her!! She was dressed very nicely and was very, very nice. At first, I just wanted to jump up and hug her and welcome her as I had thoughts now crossing my sleepy mind that it just might be Evalina!!

Well, I need to step back and give others a chance to catch up with this whole story as they deserve to understand every single part of this!! As most know, Rene is holding a new Hardanger Class which is just beginning. At first, you were required to sign up on the database and post a photograph of your supplies needed to complete the Hardanger Piece that was chosen for the class to do!! At the bottom of the Supplies List was "a supply of chocolate to calm nerves when we get to the point where you have to cut the Kloster blocks"!! I thought this funny, but knowing me it would just be some thing else that could cause a mess for me and get smeared on my endeared project so I stupidly omitted my supply of chocolate!!
However, on Evalina's Supplies Picture posting, she had all kinds of various very good and tasty looking chocolates!! At the time, I thought "I would have killed for that selection of chocolates pictured"!!

And, off we began Lesson One this past week of just making the outside row of Klooster Blocks!! Okay, some day this will be an extremely easy thing to set up and I will laugh when remembering all the troubles I had trying to get these blocks perfect!! I did not actually go in to the database to check, but it seemed to me that I was the only one not done with this week's assignment!! Shortly, Lisa N. posted she had not been able to finish either at that time and that she was going into the corner in shame!! I popped in and told her to move on over as I would be keeping her company as I was in shame also!! Not too long later, Evalina popped in and asked if there was room for her in Lisa's and my corner. I replied surely and we would be glad to make room for her if she brought the chocolate!! Well, in a bit longer time passing, I believe Lisa, Evalina and my self had a "brain fart" and the light bulbs went off and the three of us were able to leave "OUR" corner and go to it and got the Lesson One finished!! I kept thinking, I sure hope Evalina left the chocolates in "OUR" corner for "insurance" of the rest of the Lessons!! I had the feeling the three of us were going to become very good friends just from our collective corner times for this project!!

I had no more real worries except was I going to be able to go to "Our" corner of shame in time to at least drown our sorrows in chocolate and nuts, and ohhhhhhhhh luscious caramel!!

Well, I was in bed, following my doctor's orders to the tee this time. Any possible chance of another surgery does wonders for my behaviour in following doctor's orders!! My telephone rang and I answered it very groggily and only truly understood the words "Evalina Zamana" and "coming to visit"!! I immediately began to yell for Max to get me up and make me look a little bit better, but it was not pretty!! He placed me out on our deck as it was cool and a light breeze went across it!! Max continues to seal our inside of our house up equivalent to a bomb shelter so no cool air can get in no matter what. He runs around this home in his long winter underwear, two sets of sweats, and a jacket and cap!! He drives me crazy!! With my illness, it is some times been described best that you need to imagine all the blood in your entire body has been drained out and a lighter fluid has been replaced for this blood and then some one ignites the lighter fluid!! I literally feel that my body is in the middle of a bon fire and I am being burned to death 24 hours per day, seven days per week!! It is excruciating in pain and I am just hot, hot, hot!! Even in the winter nothing pleases me more than to wear my regular shorts and a light top with no shoes - flip flops if it is absolutely necessary for me to go outside!! This happens all through each of our bitter cold winters also. Thus, my front deck is the safest and coolest place in this entire home 99% of the time!! Thus, Max settles me into a lawn chair and I wait. Max kept asking who or what I was waiting for!! And, I honestly could not tell him, even though this very nice lady had told me exactly who she was and why she was coming by. I only retained Evalina and my home!! I honestly could not believe Evalina would have made her way to Iowa, of all places, from the Yukon without many days of discussion and telling every one of her plans!! I could recall nothing about her going any where!! So, I just decided to try to bring myself to being fully awake and waited!!

Soon, a very nice car, with an extremely well-dressed lady appeared in our drive way and she began the walk up the drive way. She was a very pleasant and friendly gal!!
Immediately, she began to explain why she was at my home and that she was just "representing" Evalina!! Now, I was thoroughly confused!! This gal, who introduced herself as Mary Kaster then handed me a lovely gift bag and proceeded to tell me it was for me from Evalina!! She also encouraged me to open it as soon as possible!! I reached in and I pulled out a nice big box of DeMet's Chocolate Caramel Turtles!! I so wanted to just taste one, but knew better with my stomach that day!! I then pulled out the most beautifully packaged "Satin Hands Pampering Set" from Mary Kay!! I have had cracked and rough hands for quite some time. This is a three set process that seems to just have to work!! I sure am going to begin trying immediately tomorrow morning as Mary was kind enough to explain exactly how you use this three step process. I truly feel this is just what I have been so badly needing for my hands!!

Above is a picture of the unopened bag Evalina had sent me all the way from the Yukon!!Above is the lovely gifts opened and arranged for display for every one to see!!

All I can say is I am sure going to invite Evalina in any "naughty corner" I find myself in!! It was very touch and go, if I actually was going to be able to post that I had completed the Lesson this morning. I had tried, but for some reason could not get the Lesson to Post!! I tried later today, while I was up and the Lesson printed just find to the Lesson Album!!

Hopefully, this was an omen that is telling me I will be able to get through this Hardanger Lesson and project with no more trials and tribulations!! However, if I do I sure know where those DeMet's Turtles are setting right now and every one has been notified they are Private Stock!! I may look for a mistake just to be able to take a chocolate break!!

After Evalina's friend left, I sat absolutely stunned!! I could never imagine any one doing any thing for any one so far away, much less to have some one do some thing so nice just for me so far away!!

Evalina, you are truly the best friend any one could have!! I am truly at a loss for words to know just how to say "THANK YOU" except to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH for this pure act of kindness and caring for me!! To care for some one you do not know all that well and have such a great amount of humor attached to it shows you care deeply about every one and every thing in this entire Group!!

I can come up with no other words, but THANK YOU VERY MUCH EVALINA ZAMANMA!! Your are truly one very great and caring lady with an incredible sense of humor!!

I love you very much Girlfriend!!

Love and Hugs!!

Deborah

SATURDAY, JULY 20, 2009 - TODAY WAS ONLY GOOD THING THAT HAPPENED ON "GRISWOLD OUTHOUSE HELL VACATION"!!

2009-06-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

I saw my doctor yesterday, and he is still ordering as much bed rest as possible and I am to stay in wheelchair at all other times. Eunice took me to the doctor, heard his Orders and then whisked me away to the big "Juneteenth Fest" down in our big park on the river!! Eunice was to be on a Panel Discussion and then be Judge to Pound Cake and Pie contest!! I have been taken to many fund raisers over the past year with Eunice, but never quite "got" what this "Juneteenth" thing was all about!! I don't remember any of the speaker's names and official titles, except that they were just quickly brought in to the park with police escort and as I ended up on the stage side as it was the only shaded and half-way cool place in that entire park, I got to hear and see a whole lot. These "dignitaries" were to have been taken by escort back to the airport to an awaiting private plane, but they were so impressed with this Celebration they continued on to stay and join in the festivities. There were tornado "watches" out for about 3:00 p.m. and they quickly turned into "warnings" and before all was over in the middle of a torrential downpour the tornado warning sirens went off!! These "dignitaries" being I can not remember there names were very impressed with this Celebration as they knew of no where else where one was being held. They spoke about Iowa being first to vote for Obama, and many other firsts, etc., etc., etc.!! They were absolutely astonished the Obama supporters had actually went out and canvassed door to door in every neighborhood they could possibly cover in this town of 26, 616 people. At least, I finally did learn our population in this city, if nothing else!!

This Celebration was all about the slaves being freed on this date in 1895!! These dignitaries said they had never seen such a harmonious city with the blacks and white gathering celebrating together!! Some "Dr. Boone", I think his name was, kept coming over to me wanting to discuss prejudice still in our schools as every one else on this stage were teachers!! I was just the "dummy" staying cool waiting for Eunice to finish!!

It was also a very lovely afternoon for me as I got to see and visit with about every Caregiver I have had over the past few years and got introduced to some more who could be potential next ones!! Max was safely at dialysis, so no interruptions or upsetting this apple cart of visiting these gals. I truly miss most every one of them very much!!

Then, about 3:30 p.m. the heavens let loose and it really thundered, lightning and downpoured!! After being knocked out of my chair by lightning hit a big oak tree right outside my Stitching Sanctuary about a month ago, I have a new fear of lightning for the first time!! However, I never had so many people pick me up and transfer me into Eunice's truck and hardly felt even a sprinkle. Then, suddenly many people came running towards Eunice's truck and started filling them with the Pound Cakes and Pies. A few of the women have this contest down to bring their entries to the contest straight from the oven, so they can be enjoyed at just eating, or I should say, tasting temperature!! Eunice's truck smelled heavenly!! I kept telling Eunice she could be a "legend" in her church's history if we just kept going north to our homes with those heavenly Pound Cakes and Pies!! But, honest Eunice had to stop by the church and some fellows came out and unloaded them and took them in the church!! Eunice thought I had enough up time and combined with the weather decided we would call it a day and go home after her truck was unloaded!!

I wanted Pound Cake all night last night!! Got none!! However, that sweet Wanda was here to help get me up this morning and she gave me a real special breakfast - a very large hunk size of a Pound Cake!! Note to me: Max do not even think about terminating Wanda or you shall be terminated!!

Well, I have lots of pictures and trying to write down all the stories I can remember from vacation, however, I HAVE to remedy my extreme rudeness and get all my birthday things pictured and Thank Yous finished before I get any thing else done!! However, my "birthday note pad" is temporarly missing right now as I had a BIG surprise upon being brought out of those damn "woods" by Eunice and her husband!! I had a beautiful computer amorie and a new Kodak All-In-One Printer for my newly organized and almost finished "Stitching Sanctuary"!! I also got a wonderful five blade with three light bulb fixtured ceiling fan as this room is a long story, but shortly surmised it is very hot and stuffy!! So, needless to say, my beloved "Stitching Sanctuary" has been emptied once again and all new plans revised and are beginning to be implemented!! Long story short, I can not find any thing, much less a writing pad!!

However, there was one very good thing that happened while we were on "vacation"!! I could not get any phone calls unless I happened to be at the very point of the river inlet backwaters fishing while being eaten alive by mosquitos and gnats!! I had black patches on me that others would notice just eating me up some thing terrible, but with my morphine I could not feel them at all. Now, I can yet very well as I am still trying to overcome infection where I scratched myself beyond doctor's belief as I could not feel the pain, just the itching. Thus, I was placed on pills that were for itching to make me stop!! Well, they worked as they knocked me cold out and I slept so I could not scratch!! Nor, be in attendance mentally for my second big birthday surprise party comprised of our married friends and neighbors!! Eunice found me out sleeping in my Stitching Sanctuary and was quite miffed that Max had not gotten me dressed and ready for company!! He had the "nerve" to say he knew his limits and he could not wake me up!! Eunice managed to and got me cleaned up and dressed for my birthday party, but I do not remember one person here or any thing about it!!
I am sure I am the rumor of this town now that "I" am the one with the drinking problem!! Good Grief only at the "Griswolds"!!

Well, at one time of this fishing fun EVERY day, I actually did get a telephone call!! This man asks me how I would like an officially autographed Chicago Cubs duffel bag!! I thought "Good Lord only a "Griswold" could get a telemarketer find them in the depth of woods"!! I was actually speechless, but so darn happy to talk to any one else from the city, I continued to talk to this man!! I know nothing about baseball and wondered what this guy wanted or rather how much!! Soon, he asked me how I would like to go to a Chicago Cubs ball game. Well, if he promised to come get me out of those darn woods, I would have went and watched grass grow with him!! I told him I sure would love to go to Chicago!! Thus, he then asked if he could be a stowaway to Chicago with me!! I then thought, I had been in the sun too long that day drowing worms and I had become delusional!! Here was a man promising to take me to Chicago!! Then, he said, since he had gotten my attention he wanted me to know I was the Grand Prize Winner for the Cancer Relay for Life Raffle!!
I am yelling "WOOHOO" by this time and Eunice is coming over and asking me to hand her my phone!! OH NO, I am getting out of here!! And, this man then tells me that in accepting the Chicago Cubs duffel bag I also had to accept ownership of all of it's contents, especially the FOUR CENTER FRONT BOX SEATS to the June 20 Noon Baseball Game!! I was going wild!! Eunice thought I finally had crossed over that fine line of delusional!! After I got off the phone, everyone wanted to know what was going on!! Well, this was the biggest mistake in my life and I told them!! Of course, by the time I came back into the city our local news medias had already told the entire town and surrounding areas!!

For the last three weeks, I have been the most popular woman in this town. All my dear friends who had disappeared on or about May 04, 2002 all came crawling out from their rocks!! Surely I needed some one to help me so that I could go to Chicago!! Well, let's say I will not repeat what I sure did tell these dear friends!!

I have never been so miserable in my entire life!! I had originally declared Eunice's husband, Marion and my hubby, Max each would get a pair of these tickets as these are die hard Chicago Cubs fans!! Well, every thing was well for about two days!! Marion was told he absolutely could NOT have this day off as his business had overbooked and had three separate weddings today!! NO way was Marion going to get today off!! They were really nice though and gave him four days of this past week off in a row and I believe even paid him!!

Back to my owning four Chicago Cubs Baseball tickets and Chicago package!!
I was never so guilt ridden and miserable in my life as to making a final decision of who got them!! Then, one night while tossing and turning and not being able to even close my eyes I remembered the very number one Chicago Cubs baseball fan of all time!! Do not ever interrupt Granny Lou from going to her Curves ladies work-out center every day of the week and never, never interrupt her watching a Cubs game on television!! Most know Granny Lou, as she and Eunice completely made the Iowa Department of Human Services look like the fools they are when they made their vain attempt to try and make Max, Miprezious and I move into an Assisted Living Facility!! These two women could be seen running between our homes in night clothes and every thing else just to outdo a real nasty Social Worker who had her nose into far too much information about us. Just because I am handicapped and Max got misdiagnosed THIRTEEN times in twelve weeks (he went totally unresponsive and 911 HAD to be called and this red flagged us as in need, but only need was Max being diagnosed correctly as needing a pacemaker and getting it) as this medical community simply did not care as he was deemed terminal on August 15, 2005!! I got Max transferred out of this town and he was a new man in less than 24 hours later!! He is still in dire need of a donor liver and kidney, if any one happens to see an extra not being used though!! Okay, back to Granny Lou!! She is our neighbor right next door and she is 85-years old to be in the middle of these shenanigans, but I would not have wanted to try and keep her away!! This woman still cross stitches 32-Count Linens!!

I could not wait until sunrise the following day!! I assigned Granny Lou Ticket Number One and Max Ticket Number Two!! Now, I knew there was a real need for some Caregivers to watch these two at such a crowded and large place as Wrigley Field!! So, Ticket Number Three went to Wanda, my present part-time evening gal and Ticket Number Four went to Eunice!!

Thus, this morning, I was awakened by a gentle tap on my shoulder and a nice back rub!! I thought now this is not Max!! It was Eunice and she said she discovered Max gone and decided to let herself in to get me up and settled in my chair for the day!! Wanda arrived and took over helping and gave me Pound Cake for my breakfast!! Soon, I was assuring all four that I would be just fine as I was having a make-up belated real birthday party today while I had the home all to myself!! Eunice told me I was in my chair and I had better not get my self in to any trouble as all my first responders were going to be in Chicago and the other close ones had just another working day!! I never thought of these "odds" until Eunice finished explaining them to me!! I told her I would be VERY good and stay in my chair!!

So, off the foursome went headed east to Chicago!! That game was awesome, I have just been informed!! It went THIRTEEN innings and the Cubs won 6-5!!
WOO HOO some real happy, but totally exhausted Cub fans!! There was 40,007 people at that baseball stadium today!! I again was darn glad I was not among them as it is in 90's after storming all night long!! Humidity is like you can cut it like a knife!! I have been informed there are four people very hungry going for the dinners and then are heading west back home to ME!!! WOO HOO!!

(Perhaps, I will not ask if any one has seen my Birthday list until some time late tomorrow afternoon. I think there will be four very cranky and overly tired fans returning without the zeal they left here with!!)

Love and Hugs!!
Deborah